A/N: Heeeeey. Hi. Yeah. It's been a while, I'm sorry. : ( I'm so behind in everything, and… gah.
Thank you so much for all of your love, though. Your reviews and faves and all that shit? They are the crunchy Doritos in the chip bag of life.
(Speaking of life… Malik's is so redundant lately. And I feel like this is lacking something. But I think next chapter should be better, considering who's in it. ;D Also. I totally made a glaring timeline error. Anyone want to try and catch it?)
Disclaimer: Don't own.
Entry 76
I'm sorry I haven't written anything lately, but planning world domination is a total bitch.
Also, I totally did not just apologize to a book.
Just so we're clear.
Entry 77
I've decided that shit needs to get done around here. Like, ASAP. Because the (stupidgoddamnmotherfucking) pharaoh is apparently winning locator cards like they're going out of style. Which they kind of are, but whatever.
So, I have dispatched yet another Rare Hunter (number ten, to be exact) out into the world of card-game-related victory. He is very loyal (even if his clowns are creepy as fuck), possibly because I promised to bring back his girlfriend.
Yeah… still need to figure out how I'm gonna do that.
Eh, I'll figure it out later. Jersey Shore is on!
Entry 78
Oh, Snookie. Please accept the fact that your tan will never be real, no matter how many times you spray it on.
So far so good on the whole Rare Hunter thing. I'm checking in during commercial breaks. Thinking of telling the guy to pick me up a bag of chips on his way back to the boat. I'd get them myself, but I can't leave this room because of the bird currently sitting right above the freaking door.
HE JUST WANTS YOUR LOVE.
He can have my love. He can take all of it. Just tell him to get the hell away from me.
Entry 79
Oh, balls. Arcana (Rare Hunter number ten, apparently they have names or someshit) just went down.
Like, way down. Fucking psycho meltdown.
And I am going to step on Yugi Mouto's head. The impalement of my foot will be worth it.
I think my scream of rage scared away Marshall, though.
Entry 80
That's it, I'm re-stocking on lackeys. Out with the old and in with the new, right? Right.
Time to go slave hunting!
... WOW.
Oh, shut up, it came out wrong.
Entry 81
Scouting for minions is harder than I thought it would be. Doesn't everyone want to be placed under my ultimate control?
… I would.
Entry 82
Taking a break from minion hunting today. I'm starting to get rather depressed. Will I ever complete my revenge? Will victory ever be in my grasp? Will I be destined to wander for all my life, seeking but never finding, hopes and dreams just barely out of reach, brushing the ends of my fingertips?
More importantly, who the hell keeps stealing my chips? Seriously, give them back.
Entry 83
M
MU
MUR
MURD
MURDE
MURDER
You are so creepy sometimes.
MWAHAHA.
Entry 84
Great news! A new Rare Hunter has been acquired! Granted, he's got like, ten piercings, and his eyeliner is thicker than mine, but everyone's got quirks. This time, I will finally defeat Yugi once and for all!
YOU SAID THAT LAST TIME.
So?
AND THE TIME BEFORE THAT.
What's your point?
I'M STARTING TO SEE A BIT OF A PATTERN HERE.
Shut up. It will work this time. I know it!
Entry 85
Dueling time! Whee!
I must admit, I am rather excited. In fact, I even took the boat out, just because I could.
It kind of sucked when it ran out of gas, though.
Yeah….
Entry 86
Fuck.
TOLD YOU SO.
So, duel started out okay. Summoned some cards. Played some Revival Jams. You know how it goes. Played Safe Return. Finally got to summon IGCoD™, AKA, Slifer.
It was fucking CLASSIC.
And then the pharaoh started cheating.
HAHAHAHA. HA. HA.
Shut up.
Oh, Slifer. I miss you already.
I'M ALL ALONE… SO LOST WITHOUT YOU—
This calls for revenge. And snack foods. But mostly revenge.
YOU ARE TOTALLY NOT GOING TO FIT IN THOSE JEANS NEXT WEEK.
Not true. I just bought WiiFit.
Suck it.
Entry 87
Anyway, new plan.
IF YOUR "PLAN" CONSISTS OF WRITING "I HATE THE PHARAOH" ALL OVER DOWNTOWN DOMINO, YOU MIGHT WANT TO RETHINK THAT.
The fact that you live in my mind makes my life so much more difficult, you know? I should start charging rent.
…
That's what I thought.
Entry 88
Time to run a checklist:
Shiny motorcycle? Check.
And that is all I need.
To victory!
DON'T YOU MEAN POTATO CHIPS?
Eh. Same thing.