Chapter 92
The New Watcher
Quinn sprawled on the living room floor, propping her head up with her hand as she squeaked a toy duck at Beth. The girl had been tempted to skip school that day and spend the morning and afternoon entertaining her daughter, but it would have been irresponsible to skip the SATs and Quinn was trying to be as responsible as possible. She'd spent most of last night, as well as that day, thinking about her present situation. Thinking about Beth. They had made it clear over the last few months that Shelby was Mommy and Quinn was Quinn. They wanted to be honest with Beth but they also didn't want to give her any misconceptions about who was raising her.
But now, Quinn felt like her responsibility toward Beth extended beyond that of an occasional babysitter. She didn't want the child to grow up as misguided and dysfunctional as she had. She wanted Beth to have a strong support system. Shelby was a good mom, but she needed help. And Quinn didn't trust Puck to be the one to take on that responsibility. Not since last night. Quinn had taken Beth home to spend the night in Lima Heights while Shelby's chocolate-induced youth spell wore off. She couldn't get the image of Puck and Shelby straightening their clothes out of her head. She and Rachel had talked about it on the phone, not wanting to believe what they had clearly walked in on. Rachel wasn't sure how to feel if it were true. Shelby wasn't quite her mother and Puck wasn't quite her friend. But Quinn knew exactly how to feel. Pissed off.
Quinn looked up as Sofia peered through the archway between the kitchen and the living room, a tentative expression on her face. Over the past year, she had tried so hard to turn Lima Heights into a home and didn't give up, even when Santana left. Before, Quinn found it hard to understand why Sofia was trying so hard to make her feel like family. Having dinner ready in the evenings, inviting Rachel to go shopping, inquiring about Quinn's college plans. But now, Quinn felt like she understood. No-one would have blamed Sofia for skipping town and leaving Quinn to fend for herself, but that wasn't the point. Sofia was taking the responsibility because there was no-one else to take it.
"Shelby's here," Sofia said, wincing from the sound of her own voice.
Before the spell had worn off, the woman had spent the better part of last night doing tequila shots and attempting to recreate her wardrobe from 1989. Quinn had made sure to leave plenty of coffee for her that morning.
"Thanks, Sofia," Quinn said softly before she scooped Beth and her toy duck off of the floor.
She crossed through the kitchen and walked down the hall with the toddler balanced on her hip. Shelby, standing beyond the front door's threshold, looked nervously at two blondes approaching. She looked weary, a black cardigan draped over her frame. Something shifted in her eyes that looked halfway between shame and resolve. She looked at Beth, who was sucking on her fist, and she smiled warmly.
"There's my girl," she cooed softly.
Quinn handed Beth over at the door, watching as Shelby carefully cradled the child in her arms and kissed the top of her forehead.
"Thank you," she whispered, her voice muffled against Beth's head.
"For what?" Quinn asked, coldly.
Shelby gave Quinn a pained look, as if she might have burst into tears at any moment. "I'm so sorry," she said, her face getting red.
Quinn clenched her jaw. "I know."
"I can't imagine what could have happened… If anything…" Shelby squeezed her eyes shut, "I'm so glad you were there."
Quinn nodded. She was not feeling as forgiving as she wanted to, even though she knew it wasn't really Shelby's fault. She was under a spell. Putting Beth in danger and anything she may or may not have done with Puck...
"It's not your fault," she said.
Shelby sniffed and attempted to regain her composure, quickly glancing back at her car parked on the curb. "We should talk."
Quinn frowned. "I don't think we need to."
"I think we do," Shelby said certainly, rocking Beth on her hip, "This arrangement… it's not working."
Quinn pursed her lips. "What do you mean?"
"This pseudo-family we've made. You and Puck baby-sitting and stopping by whenever you like… It's confusing. For Beth. And for the rest of us."
Quinn's heart sped up. "You can't take her from me again."
Shelby's eyes widened. "Oh, Quinn, no, I'm not going to. I just… I think it's important that we have boundaries."
Quinn raised her chin, indignant. "I'm not sure if I'm the one you need to talk to about boundaries."
Shelby's eyes fell to the floor. Quinn almost felt bad for having said anything.
"But you're right," she continued, "We need a better plan. This isn't working, obviously."
Shelby nodded. "I told Sofia that I wouldn't need her to babysit during the day anymore. I signed Beth up for daycare. I still think it's important that you get to have a relationship with her, though. So, if you ever want to babysit or visit her or take her out for the day, you need to schedule it with me and I need to know where she'll be at all times."
Quinn nodded, pursing her lips. "What about Puck?" she asked.
Shelby was silent for a moment. "I don't think I can offer him the same privileges."
Quinn narrowed her eyes. "What does that mean?"
Shelby sighed. "He can help you babysit, but I don't want him around the apartment and I don't want to leave Beth alone with him."
Quinn almost scoffed. "Have you told him that?"
"Not yet," Shelby sighed, bowing her head, "I'm not trying to punish him. I just think that it's what's best for Beth."
Quinn nodded. "Yeah, I do, too."
"I think my work life might start getting a little easier, too," Shelby smirked, "Apparently the school is going to hire an assistant counselor."
Quinn raised an eyebrow. "Really?"
"Yeah, someone to help out with this insane backlog of paperwork so that I can focus on actual counseling."
"That'll be great," Quinn nodded, seeming a little absentminded as her thoughts wandered back to the image of Shelby and Puck, hair mussed, clothes askew… "I'm sorry, I just…"
Shelby frowned. "What is it?"
"It's nothing," Quinn shook her head, "I'm glad we're really figuring all of this out. I'm glad you're not leaving."
Shelby nodded again and bounced Beth on her hip. "You ready to go home, baby?" she cooed sweetly to the infant before turning back to Quinn, "I'll talk to you tomorrow. You can tell me all about your SATs."
"Oh, joy," Quinn scoffed, and watched as Shelby and Beth returned to their car, her slight smile fading.
She closed the front door, just as the late sunset began to throw paint strokes of orange and pink against the neighborhood. She retired to Santana's old room. Even though she'd been using it for months now, she couldn't quite think of it as her own. She'd moved almost none of Santana's clothes, except the ones she borrowed from time to time. Instead of changing the room to match her personality, she quickly realized that she was changing her personality to match the room. Picking her movies and music based on the posters that lined the walls. Learning to prefer the darkness when she closed the heavy, black-out curtains.
She hopped onto the bed, crossing her legs and looking at the webpage she'd left idle on her laptop screen. Quinn grabbed her cellphone off of the nightstand and found Rachel in her contacts.
"Hello?"
"Shelby just picked up Beth," Quinn said quickly, one hand hovering her laptop mouse.
Rachel paused a moment on the other line. "Did she say anything?"
"She said she was sorry, but she didn't say about what. She thinks we should have boundaries."
Quinn could hear her girlfriend snort. "Yes, well, that might be a decent idea."
"I wanted to confront her about Puck," Quinn said into the phone, "But I just… couldn't. I think I feel bad for her."
"Why should you? I know neither of us want to say so, but what if whatever is going on between her and Puck wasn't just for that one night. What if there was something between them before she was under that spell?"
Quinn frowned. "I'd be lying if I said I hadn't wondered. I mean, I never would have thought before, but when I look back and think about how often he'd babysit Beth without me, or stop in Shelby's office just to see how she was doing…"
"Well, I'm not surprised. And I don't feel all that bad for her. It's not like she hasn't done this before."
"I don't think this is the same as it was with Jesse. Oh, God, I didn't even think about Jesse. He thinks I'm too good for Puck. I can't imagine what he'd think of him with Shelby."
"Forgive me if I'm not too concerned about Jesse in all of this."
"No, you're right. This isn't about him," said Quinn, "And we don't even know what they did or didn't do."
"Quinn, I've been dangerously naive about certain things before, but not about this. Let's just say it looked pretty incriminating."
"I know, I know. I can't think about that, though. I have to think about Beth."
"I'm sure Beth will be fine. Shelby's made a lot of mistakes, but she seems to really love her. I know she put Beth in danger, but it was under extreme circumstances."
"This is the Hellmouth. There are always extreme circumstances. I need to know that I'm doing everything I can to help make sure Beth is safe and happy. I gave her up because it was the right thing to do, and now I need to be in her life because it's the right thing to do."
"You can only do so much. It's your senior year. You'll be in college this time next year, possibly in New York! You have to learn to trust Shelby to be a good mom."
"That was another thing I needed to talk to you about," Quinn said, "About next year. About New York."
Quinn paused as she heard a rustling at her window. She glanced at the thick black curtains, always closed. She slid off of the bed, her cellphone still held close to her ear, and peered behind a curtain to see that the window had been left wide open. She didn't remember opening it, but reasoned that Sofia must have been trying to air the room out while she cleaned during the day. Still, she had the creeping feeling of being watched, and stared out into the night for a moment, only for the darkness to stare back at her.
"Quinn?"
"Yeah, sorry, I thought I heard something…" Quinn said into the phone, still staring out at the window. "Listen, I've been thinking about this for a while, but after everything that's happened, I think I've made up my mind."
Rachel was growing impatient on the other line. "Quinn, what are you trying to tell me?"
Quinn took a deep, soothing breath and crossed the room to sit back on the edge of the bed. "I don't want to go to New York next year. I want to stay in Lima. I want to be close to Beth. I want to practice witchcraft on the Hellmouth."
There were a few moments of silence on the other line before Rachel said, "That's… Are you sure?"
Quinn nodded to herself. "Yes, I'm sure."
"But… you can visit Beth. Shelby can take care of her. She'll be fine. And you can practise your witchcraft anywhere. Don't you want to get out of this town?"
"I don't know, Rachel. It's not just that… The only thing that makes me want to go to New York is you. And I need to know that when I make this decision, I'm making it for me."
"What are you going to do in Lima?" Rachel asked indignantly.
"I'm going to apply for a Journalism scholarship at OSU." Quinn climbed back into the bed and glanced at the online application she'd started.
"Journalism?" Rachel sounded skeptical.
"Yeah. I mean, I'm good at English, so I think I have a shot. I don't have any big plans, Rachel, I'm just going to go to college and see where it takes me. But I'm going to do it in Lima."
"You're really sure about this?"
"I'm really sure. I love you so much, but I think that this is what's best for me."
After another few moments of loaded silence, Rachel spoke. "So, what happens to us? We're just going to break up after graduation?"
Quinn paused. She had thought about it, but not comprehensively. She had weighed the pros and cons of a long-distance relationship but part of her was pretending that the time would never come.
"I don't know," she said, finally, "That's not what I want, but… it's a long way away. We have plenty of time to figure it out."
Rachel mumbled, "Not enough."
"Rachel, I'm sorry."
Rachel sniffed. "Don't be. You're just doing what's best for you."
"Rachel…"
"I have to go, Quinn. I'll see you at school."
xxx
Will winced as he took a gulp of piping hot coffee from his thermos and headed hastily to his office. He'd woken up late after a fitful night of dreaming about the episode he'd had a few days earlier, in which his teenage self was bent on listening to Edie Brickell records all night. He'd wished for short-term amnesia once his senses came back to him, but the memories were stuck with him. The scalding liquid slid down his throat as he spotted Terri walking toward him down the hall, her head held a little lower than usual, her sandy blond hair hanging over her face. She looked mildly startled when they met eyes, her cheeks immediately flushing a pale shade of pink. Will gave her a slight smile as they approached each other - unavoidable in their paths to their perspective office spaces.
"Terri," he nodded cordially as they stopped in front of each other.
"Will," she simpered, not meeting his eye.
Will let a few awkward beats pass as students filed by on their way to their next class. "This is awkward," he blurted out matter-of-factly.
Terri chuckled and her eyebrows pulled together. "It's so silly. We didn't do anything exactly scandalous."
"Nothing we weren't doing in tenth grade," Will smirked.
Terri laughed again, although her face turned pinker and she pushed a lock of hair behind her ear. "It was kind of… nice."
Will's smiled faded as he gave Terri a curious look. "Um, w-well it was-"
"I mean, to be a teenager again," Terri smiled, "It felt simple."
"Right. I don't know if I can honestly say that I agree. I forgot what it was like to just be a ball of emotional. Hormonal, anxious, hot-headed. Pathetically infatuated."
"That's what I liked about it. I mean, it's intense, but in some ways it's much less complicated than it is now. You wear everything on your sleeve. There's a lot less… bitterness. You have your whole life in front of you."
Will smiled. There was no way in hell he'd want to go back to being Billy the kid, but Terri made it sound nice.
xxx
Quinn sped from second period to get to her locker. Puck had been giving her prodding looks from the back of Economics, but she kept her eyes steadily in front of her the whole time. The last thing she wanted to do was have a discussion about what happened between him and Shelby. She wanted Puck to keep that information to himself. She had decided that the less she knew about it, the better.
She felt someone approaching at her side as she reached her locker and turned to see Rachel speed-walking to catch up to her. Quinn was surprised to see a big grin on her girlfriend's face. After their conversation on the phone last night, she assumed Rachel would be giving her the cold shoulder at least for the rest of the day.
"Well, don't you look happy," said Quinn, her brows buckled in suspicion.
"I thought about what you said last night," Rachel replied.
"You did?" Quinn asked warily as they reached her locker.
"I did, and I think it's perfect," Rachel smiled, her hands clasped in front of her as she watched Quinn enter her locker combination.
"You do?" Quinn asked, doubtful.
"I do! Quinn, you've finally found your ambition!"
"I mean, I guess-"
"Now we're two women on a journey to becoming who we always wanted to be!" Rachel said with a burst of spirit, stars practically dancing in her eyes, "Imagine, me, the breakout star of Broadway and you, the hard-hitting journalist with the inside scoop on New York City's newest ingenue! I mean, come on, Quinn, that sounds like the plot of a romantic comedy! Yes, we'll be apart for a while, but we can get through it, can't we?"
Quinn gave her a smile. "Yeah. I mean, I think we can."
Rachel's smile waned just a little. It wasn't as enthusiastic a response as she was hoping for, but she didn't want to dwell on it. Quinn was starting to understand that her girlfriend was trying her absolute best to be an optimist in that moment.
"And how far away is New York, really?" Quinn shrugged, "It's not like we can't visit each other all the time."
"Exactly," Rachel smiled with renewed vigor, "We can't let anything stand in the way of our ambition!"
"Right."
"So now you know you have to work your hardest this year to be able to live your dreams."
"What do you mean?"
"Quinn, you have to secure that scholarship! That means joining the school newspaper. Yearbook, even. It might be too late for you to have a real shot at becoming an editor, but you have a way with words. I'm sure you'll become their most popular columnist!"
"I mean, I guess-"
"And you could get an internship!" Rachel gasped, a lightbulb practically illuminating above her head, "At The Daily Lima. Or, better yet, if you're interested in broadcast journalism, you could apply for an internship at the local news station!"
"Broadcast journalism, huh?" Quinn's eyes twinkled a little as she gave it some thought, "Like, on TV?"
"Sure," Rachel smiled, "I mean, you may need to rethink your hair. I love it but I'm not sure it's going to make you look like anchorwoman material."
Quinn stifled a laugh. "Rachel, I don't think they'll care if the interns are anchor material."
"Don't think like that! You have to be ready at any moment to shoot out of the cannon called stardom!"
Quinn bit her bottom lip and shook her head at her girlfriend's enthusiasm, just as she spotted someone approaching from over the petite girl's shoulder. Her smile faded into a mask of guarded hostility. Rachel spun around to see Puck walking toward them. She, too, seemed to turn cold at the sight of him. The boy had a sheepish look on his face as he peered at the couple from under his dark eyelashes.
"Quinn, can we talk?" he asked, keeping his gaze steadily away from Rachel's pointed glare.
"I don't think she has anything to say to you," Rachel frowned, her chin in the air.
"With all due respect, Rachel, this is between me and Quinn," he said, glancing at the brunette, "It's about Beth."
Rachel clenched her jaw just as Quinn laid a hand on the sleeve of her girlfriend's cardigan and gave her a nod. "It's alright," she shrugged.
Rachel narrowed her eyes at Puck once more and said, "I'll see you in glee club," before strutting back down the hall, parting her way through a herd of freshmen.
Quinn watched her girlfriend disappear down the hall before landing her eyes on Puck. He raised his arm and scratched the back of his head, giving her a knowing smirk, as if to say, 'Oops'. As if he spilled red wine on a white couch.
"What do you want to talk about?" Quinn asked, crossing her arms. She wasn't in the mood to talk to him or even look at him.
"Like I said, Beth. And Shelby."
Quinn rolled her eyes. "What could you possibly have to say?"
"That I'm sorry, first of all."
"Sorry that you did it or sorry you got caught? What did you two even do- No, you know what? I don't ever need to know."
"We had sex," Puck said bluntly.
Quinn groaned inwardly. "You don't listen, do you?"
"It just happened, okay? It wasn't a big deal."
"Not a big deal?!" Quinn hissed, "You slept with Rachel's mom."
"Shhhh!" Puck hissed back and grabbed her by the crook of her elbow, pulling her away from her locker and toward an empty Chemistry lab.
He closed the door behind them as she paced down the first aisle of counters. She folded her arms again and stuck her hands under her armpits. This was why she didn't want to talk to him; because she knew her face would get red and her hands would get hot and she would need to lie down before she set him on fire.
"First of all," Puck finally said after making sure the coast was relatively clear, "She's barely Rachel's mom. She's her surrogate or egg donor or whatever. They barely know each other."
"Oh, so that makes it okay?" Quinn asked, whirling around to look him in the eye, "Her birth mother works at her school, so she may as well be sleeping with her friends, too. That's just great."
"You're being crazy," Puck rolled his eyes.
"Do not tell me that I'm being crazy. It's bad enough that that's Rachel's biological mother, Puck, but that is Beth's mom."
"So what?!" Puck exclaimed, "I'm her dad!"
"No, Puck, you're not!"
Puck puffed out his chest, starting to look more angry than guilty. "Oh, I'm not? Is there something you want to tell me, Quinn? Were you sleeping with the whole football team in sophomore year?"
Quinn's eyebrows raised and she felt her face and hands and even her veins run cold. She saw Puck's face soften and decided to get out of there before he could really realized that he'd hurt her feelings. She tried to stride past him but he hooked his hand around her elbow to pull her back.
"Get off," she mumbled, yanking her arm away.
"Quinn, please, this is important. I don't want to get into some dumb fight. I need to talk to you, seriously. I'm sorry I said that, it was stupid."
Quinn glared up at him. "You're not her dad, Puck," Quinn said coldly, and quietly, "I don't want you to be."
Puck furrowed his brow and gave her a long look. "I'm doing the best I can, Quinn."
"It's not good enough," she responded, starting to tear up with anger and frustration, "Dads are supposed to be there for you. They're supposed to put their daughters before themselves and do everything they can to not make their lives harder. Beth is better off without a father than with a father who can't even do that."
Puck pursed his lips. "I wasn't trying to make her life harder, Quinn."
"What did you think would happen? Her life is already abnormal enough. You're just going to make everything weirder and more difficult, for everyone."
Puck shook his head. "It wasn't just me. I didn't do this on my own, just to make life harder for everyone. I have feelings for Shelby and she has feelings for me."
Quinn rolled her eyes and smiled bitterly, her tears subsiding. "She was under a spell, Puck."
"She had feelings for me before the spell. She kissed me."
Quinn narrowed her eyes at the boy. "She did?"
"Yes, Quinn. And yeah, when she was under the spell, we went a lot further and put Beth in danger, and everything was worse, but it's not like it was cookie-cutter perfect before. Shelby's into me. And now, she's not letting me see Beth because she doesn't want to complicate things. Quinn, this isn't all on me. You have to talk to her."
Quinn sniffed and looked at the floor. "I have to get to class," she said, and sped away before Puck could say anything more.
xxx
Buffy smacked her back against a wide oak tree in the Lima cemetery. She gasped as her breath was pushed out of her body and widened her eyes to see the vampire bolting toward her with his clenched fist raised in the air. She ducked just as the vamp slammed his hand into the tree's stubborn bark. The slayer tucked and rolled out of the way, bouncing back up to stake the scrawny bloodsucker through his back. As the cloud of ashes dissipated in the night wind, Buffy whirled around to count the cohorts she had brought along: Will, who was sitting perched on a tombstone, writing in a legal pad and keeping far away from the action; and Kitty, who was relishing her own battle with another oily-haired, overzealous vampire.
Buffy was poised and ready to join the fight if Kitty needed her to, but the younger slayer seemed to be handling things on her own. She tossed the vamp over a low, stone bench and jumped across it herself, landing on the fallen target, straddling him and plunging her polished stake into his heart. The vamp dusted and Kitty hopped off of the ground, shaking back her blond ponytail, looking immensely proud of herself.
"Did you see that?" she grinned, slowly pacing back toward Buffy and Mr. Schuester.
"Uh huh," Buffy responded, suppressing a smile.
"And? What did you think?" Kitty splayed out her hands, looking eager.
"Sloppy."
Buffy, Kitty, and even Will looked up toward the unfamiliar voice. A tall, black woman with a blond pixie-cut and a proudly raised chin strode toward them, donned in a red tracksuit.
"What's the point in having two slayers of y'all are going to leave all your blind sides open? And might I remind you that this is a school night. I'd thank you not to waste time practising fighting techniques you saw Scarlett Johansson doing, and get to the slaying. Now which one of you tiny white girls is Kitty?"
The slayers glanced at each other, bewildered, and at their slack-jawed teacher, before Kitty turned her attention back to the woman. "Who the Hell's asking?" she demanded, folding her arms over her Cheerios uniform.
"Roz Washington. Your new watcher."