Chapter 1: Jack was Right

'Well, Doctor,' sang the Master, 'it's been a year and I think that it would be fun to jump to another universe and muck about. What do you think?'

'Master,' said the newly youthful Doctor cautiously, 'that would be a bad idea.'

'Oh, come on, Thete,' he whined, 'I'd leave this planet alone and I promise to listen to you. Plus, it's not my fault that the schism gave me Bent Vortex Syndrome.'

'It's not,' the Doctor said carefully, 'but Kos, it would still be dangerous, insanely so.'

'You think skipping to another universe is more dangerous than two renegade, depressed, insane Time Lords running about with free rein?'

'Perhaps we should,' said the Doctor begrudgingly, 'but I'll only agree to it if you let me cure you first.' The Master laughed regretfully.

'I'm way ahead of you there,' he whispered sadly, 'I fixed my mind a year ago. And before you get on my case, it took this long just to know what the sane me would've chosen. In another week I should be completely cured of the BVS and back to how I was meant to be.' The Doctor blinked in surprise, but the wary lowering of his purposeful mental block showed how the Master truly was almost cured. He nodded in resolution as plan after crazy plan filtered into his head at top speed.

'The easiest way into another universe would be to bind ourselves to the heart of the TARDIS…' the Doctor stated calmly.

'Set her to random…' the Master continued without missing a beat, both Time Lords falling into their familiar and missed rhythm.

'Jump her into the untempered schism outside the wreckage of Gallifrey…'

'And hope for the best.' Finished the Master as he started grinning the way only a madman could. The Doctor echoed it effortlessly.

Half an hour later, Jack felt his restraints drop to the ground. He shivered in trepidation and trudged up to the control room doors where the sight of all his friends greeted him.

'Ianto, Tosh, Gwen, Owen,' he gasped in shock with his mouth gaping open, 'what in the nine bloody hells are you doing here?'

'Don't you get snippy with us, Jack,' said Gwen calmly, 'you're the one who sent us here, after all.'

'I did what now?' Jack said in confusion before he noticed that Ianto, his Ianto, had his Vortex Manipulator. Smirking cheekily, he removed it and handed it to someone behind Jack.

Whirling around, Jack came face to face with… himself. Crap, this was just what he needed on top of being chained to a wall for a year, a fucking paradox.

'So, here I am, and you'd better listen to me now me, 'cause you'll need to remember this speech for oh, four hours from now,' the slightly older Jack ordered snappishly, 'so, this paradox is self-fulfilling, so no need to worry about the timeline getting screwed to hell. Inside is the strangest thing you've ever seen. Yes, that's right.' He said to Jack's open mouth, 'the strangest thing ever. It's damned creepy, if you ask me, but I digress. Just listen to him, and do as he says.'

'Jack, just do it,' his team chorused irritably, 'we'd rather get life back to whatever passes for normal for us.'

'So you want to go around hunting weevils, chasing the Doctor, stopping alien invasions, and watching as I get killed repeatedly, yeah?' Jack said as he laughed at the word "normal."

'Pretty much,' Owen sniped, 'but preferably without the whole "oh my god it's Torchwood let's mob them and see what happens, those weirdoes creep even me out. I do fucking autopsies on aliens, I don't do creeped out.'

'Ah, no stupid jokes, Harkness,' Gwen hissed as Jack opened his mouth again, 'just shut up and do as he says.'

'Fine,' he pouted, 'but if you hear screaming, it's because the Doc and the Master are getting along.' With that the older Jack smirked and teleported away with his team to protect the Earth as Jack opened the door to… the Doctor and the Master getting along. He was right, everything changed. But he wasn't ready. Crap. True to his word, he cupped his hands around his mouth and shrieked, earning himself an outburst of insane laughter from both aliens.

'Well then, Jack,' the Doctor proclaimed grandly, 'here's your Vortex Manipulator, I took the liberty of adjusting it to take you away if you get too close to creating a paradox or disrupting the timeline. Now just do whatever you want, it'll stop you from ruining anything.'

'Neat, so I assume that you want me to go visit Torchwood and bring them here, and then do what I just heard and saw myself do?'

'We've got a winner!' the Master laughed, 'thanks for stealing my lines Mr. Harkness.'

'No problem,' Jack snapped, 'goodbye.' With that he disappeared into the Vortex, back to the Hub.

'Well then, Thete,' the Master stated wickedly, 'I'd say that it's time to do this.'

'Agreed, but should we be "born" into t5he new world or just randomly appear in a crowd of people?'

'Ooh, the crowd of people for sure,' the Master crowed, 'let's de-age ourselves as well. So, now that we're bound to the TARDIS, let's rip a hole in the space time continuum the size of Belgium!'

'Kos,' said the doctor wearily, 'only the external size of the Valiant.' The Master just laughed as the Doctor gulped. Then they were thrown bodily into the Time Vortex, arriving outside of the untempered schism, they nodded to one another as the TARDIS leapt through the window, tearing a Belgium sized hole in the universe as they left.