Disclaimer: Don't own Twilight.

SLASH!

Written for my Slash Requested Prompt Table on LJ. Prompt #4 by lust_4sorrow, who wanted: Edward/Jacob - Studying couples in mythology.

AU. Silliness! Also, the characters are intentionally OOC.

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Jacob Black was so terribly uncomfortable it wasn't even funny.

When he'd found out that his crush and best friend Bella Swan had been hanging with the bloodsuckers he'd been enraged and terrified for her at the same time. He'd tried telling her that they couldn't be trusted, tried explaining without giving secrets away that the Cullens were...dangerous...but of course Bella had no idea they were vampires and that every second she spent with them she was in mortal danger. It made Jacob's skin crawl, and he couldn't sleep for days, not coming up with anything that could help him in this situation. He couldn't go to the Cullens and threaten them to stay away from Bella or else, because it was against the truce's rule for him to step onto their land...and he couldn't think of any other way of doing this.

He'd about given up and was contemplating going against his tribe so he could tell Bella the truth, when he'd arrived at her house and smelt the stench of leech all around. It was a sickening sweet scent that haunted his nostrils and made his stomach roll with nausea, but he pushed his discomfort aside and knocked on the door, nodding to Charlie when he opened the door, relieved to see the man looked fine. There was annoyance in his father's best friend's eyes as he mumbled that Bella was in the living room with some 'friends', and Jacob felt as if he was being pushed there nearly desperately by the older man, only managing to catch himself from stumbling onto the scene before him.

Bella sat on the floor, seated between a tiny pixie-looking female vampire and a blonde male who looked constipated. The brunette human was giggling and smiling and looking from between the two on her either side, an occasional blush appearing on her cheeks as she spoke.

On the couch behind them, spread out and laying down reading something, was another male bloodsucker with fucked up hair.

Jacob tried to keep from bringing his hand to his mouth to try and not inhale their terribly strong odor so much. He'd never been this close to vampires before, only sometimes catching glimpses of them across the borders of their lands, and now that he was so close to three of them he felt very sick to his stomach, and close to vomiting. It agitated his wolf, who was whimpering in distaste and unease.

"Jake!" Bella's voice helped him concentrate on something else as the girl he'd had a crush on since childhood stood and raced to him, hugging him tightly. "Come in! I want you to meet my friends from school."

She was acting as if he didn't warn her about the Cullens every single day.

"Guys, this is my friend, Jacob Black. He lives on the Rez, and I knew him from when I used to live here before." Bella grinned. "We baked mud pies together."

Ah, yes, the good old days.

Still, Jacob was unable to enjoy the memories because his stomach was churning with the scent and it took all he had to keep from upchucking.

"Jacob, these are Alice and Jasper...and that's Edward."

Jasper, the blonde with the constipated look, nodded curtly before looking away and covertly covering the lower half of face with his hand, betraying that Jacob wasn't the only one battling a war with the scent of an enemy.

Alice smiled and stood, smirking. "It's nice to finally meet you Jacob, Bella has told us all about you."

Jacob's eyes narrowed slightly, wondering exactly what sort of game the pixie was playing.

"We're brainstorming for homework." Edward mumbled, still stretched out on the sofa, his book now resting on his chest as he eyed Jacob with a smile. "We're supposed to pick a greek god pairing and write something about them."

"I want to do something about Zeus, Hera, and maybe one of his many girl concubines." Bella replied chirpily.

"Edward's leaning more towards Zeus and Ganymedes." Alice grinned.

Edward shot her a look.

"Who?" Bella questioned curiously.

"Oh, you know, his gay lover." Alice grinned brightly.

Jacob's eyes widened. "Huh?"

That was the first word he'd ever uttered in front of vampires...and it was less impressive than he'd hoped.

Edward's lips twitched slightly, as if amused, and his eyes were definitely twinkling.

Jacob's gaze narrowed on the vampire, annoyed that he'd caught onto his slight embarrassment and found it amusing.

Almost as if he could read his mind Edward lifted both of his hands and looked slightly away in a sign of near submission, which shocked and confused and disoriented the wolf a bit. He could understand this behavior in the pack, as canine deference was now ingrained in their mind and habits. If Sam was displeased or thought he was being questioned or challenged the only way to avoid a fight and broken bones was to quickly show submission and humility. It could be humiliating sometimes, but it was what one did to survive.

Edward's eyes narrowed slightly as they turned to Jacob, all amusement gone.

"Zeus was bi?" Bella blinked, completely missing the tension in the room.

"The gods weren't Bi or Straight or Gay." Jasper spoke, the hint of a southern accent surprising Jacob slightly. "They just really liked sex and took pleasure in beauty, no matter what form."

"I think Ares is one of the only gods who wasn't ever depicted as having a male lover at least once." Alice nodded. "It wasn't looked down on in those days anyway, like it is now. You would have thought we're have progressed mentally, instead of regressed, huh?"

"Yeah." Bella mumbled, letting go of Jacob and going back to where she'd been sitting before. "Any threesomes in greek mythology?"

Jacob's eyes widened and he barely kept from choking on his saliva.

Threesomes?

This was just all the evidence he needed to know that the leeches were corrupting his wholesome Bella!

Edward chuckled, shaking his head. "Why don't you help me, Jacob? Bella's helping Jasper and Alice, and that's just unfair really."

Jacob frowned, wondering what the hell these leeches were up to. He opened his mouth to tell the vampire that he had no intention of helping him do his homework.

Bella grinned. "That's perfect! I really want you guys and Jacob to get along, since you're all my best friends."

Alice smiled at Bella and caressed her hair.

Bella blushed and ducked her head, biting her lip, not managing to diminish the large smile on her lips.

Jacob watched those two, a suspicion blooming in his stomach.

Jasper handed Bella a book, their fingers brushing against each other's, and their gazes met in a soul-melding look.

Jacob was floored.

What the hell was going on here?

No wonder Charlie seemed about to pass out!

Edward stood from the sofa and came to Jacob, gazing down at his book. "According to this Ganymede was a divine hero from Troy." The vampire came closer to Jacob, apparently not bothered by his scent at all as he stood across from the wolf, blocking his view of the threesome/orgy in the making. "He was a prince who was described by Homer of all people as the most beautiful of mortals. That puts his beauty even above the women."

Jacob turned his gaze upon the pale man in front of him. "As a male I can tell you that being called beautiful is not a compliment."

Edward's lips twitched in amusement as he gazed up from the book for a second before looking back down. "He was so beautiful Zeus turned himself into an eagle and kidnapped him, taking him to Mount Olympus to be the Cupbearer of the gods...and his eromenos."

"Eromenos?" Jacob frowned.

"Lover." Edwards whispered the word like sex, eyes mischievous. "Ganymede's father mourned the loss of his son, and so Zeus sent him two immortal horses that were so swift they could run over water. That seemed to work, and the father cooled down, wished his now immortal son great happiness, and went to enjoy the horses."

"Poor kid." Jacob was not backing down. "First he looks like a girl, gets kidnapped by some unfaithful old geezer, is put to work as the cupbearer to an assload of other old geezers, and then he finds out he's only worth two horses."

Edward was silent, just gazing at his book.

The wolf wondered if he'd finally pierced through the oddness of this casualness with which the vampires were reacting to his presence.

Edward started to tremble, to shake, and then he began to chuckle.

Bella and the other two were chuckling as well, proving that they'd been paying attention to Edward's and his interactions.

Jacob was more lost than ever, feeling as if he were Alice having fallen into Wonderland and was now having tea with the Mad Hatter.

"Hey, what about this myth?" Jasper asked, pointing to something in one of the books laid in front of them.

Bella looked down and smiled, picking up the book. "Sounds interesting."

Alice leaned her chin on Bella's shoulder. "Sorta sad though."

Edward turned his attention to Jacob, apparently having laughed his fill. "So tell me, Jacob Black." His voice was low enough so that Bella couldn't hear, but loud enough that Jacob with his wolf hearing could. "Did you know that our Coven calls itself the Olympian Coven?"

No.

He hadn't.

"That's a bit narcissistic, don't you think?" The wolf asked, folding his arms over his chest. "Naming your coven after the greek gods."

"Maybe..." Edward leaned in closer. "Would that make you Ganymede?"

Jacob sputtered, drawing back slightly, feeling a blush creep up his neck.

Edward chuckled, seemingly amused at having unnerved the wolf. "Come study with me by the table." He took a couple of steps before turning towards Jacob. "Unless you're intimidated."

Jacob's eyes narrowed at the challenge as he stalked behind the smiling vampire. He knew he was playing into whatever game was being played, but his pride wouldn't let him stand down from a challenge, especially one issued by a leech. "Let's do this."

"Sure." Edward nodded as they by each other by the table. "Just one question before we begin."

The wolf steeled himself. "Do your worst."

"Well, since I have your permission..." Edward leaned in closer, lowering his voice as he whispered in Jacob's ear. "You obviously have strong feelings about this, and I have no desire to offend you."

Really?

Jacob couldn't figure out why. It wasn't as if vampires and wolves got along.

"So I want you to answer this question with as much seriousness as I ask it." All smile was gone from Edward's face as he continued. "We don't want a war between us because the humans would get hurt in the process, and neither of us want that to happen."

Jacob nodded, turning slightly towards Edward so that his breath wasn't against his ear, yet the wolf suddenly found that it left their faces uncomfortably close together.

"So, in all seriousness, I ask you this." Edward's gaze lowered to his lips before raising to his eyes once more. "If I were to kidnap and take you to our land to be my lover...how much do you think you'd be worth to your father?"

Then and there, staring into the utter seriousness in those golden eyes, Jacob realized that he'd underestimated his foe, and would be lucky if he managed to escape the Swan Residence in one piece.

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