A/N: I don't know how I thought of this, but I thought I'd use pick-up lines, Lily, and James. Don't worry, none of them are dirty. There is slight language, though.
Disclaimer: HP is not mine.
"Did you just fart? Cause you blew me away!"
"Did you really expect that one to work? Cause I'm disgusted and walking away."
"…Damn."
"Potter, are you drunk?"
"I'm not drunk; I'm just intoxicated by you."
"No, I think you're drunk. By the way, that's a detention."
"What for?"
"Being an idiot."
"You can give detentions for that?"
"I wish. No, you got a detention for having liquor on school grounds."
"…Damn."
"I was so enchanted by your beauty that I ran into that wall over there. So I am going to need your name and number for insurance purposes."
"You walked into that wall because you're an idiot. And what number am I supposed to give you. There aren't any telephones at Hogwarts."
"…Damn."
"Be unique and different, say yes."
"You mean all the other girls turn you down?"
"Um, no?"
"Playboy."
"I mean, yes?"
"Loser."
"…Damn."
"Excuse me; I think you have something in your eye. Oh wait, it's just a sparkle."
"You're about to get my fist in yours."
"…Damn."
"I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight."
"And I'm fighting the urge to make you unable to reproduce."
"Damn!"
"Are you going to kiss me or do I have to lie to my diary?"
"You keep a diary? Are you sure you're not gay, Potter?"
"…Damn."
"Pinch me, because you're so fine I must be dreaming!"
"Okay."
"Ow! Damn!"
"Hello. Are you taking any applications for a boyfriend?"
"Yup."
"Really?"
"Yeah, just not from you."
"Damn."
"Well, here I am. What were your other two wishes?"
"Pepper spray and a baseball bat."
"Damn!"
"If I told you that you had a great body, would you hold it against me?"
"Yes."
"…Um, okay. I don't know what to do now. Damn."
"What's that on your face? Oh, must just be beauty. Here, let me get it off. Hey, it's not coming off!"
"Stop touching me, Potter!"
"Ow! Damn!"
"You must be magical, because I've fallen under your spell."
"…Potter, I'm a witch."
"Oh, yeah. Damn."
"You know, when I said, "Accio hottie," I didn't expect it to work!"
"But it did! Sirius is right here."
"Hey, Evans! That's not what I meant! …Damn."
" If I were going to produce a patronus, you'd be my happy thought."
"…That's actually kind of sweet."
"Really? Then will you go to Hogsmeade with me?"
"It's not a yes, but it's not a no."
"I'll take it."
A/N: I'll take suggestions if you have them. I may or may not continue this (it would just be a collection of pick-up lines) depending on people's interest. So review and let me know what you think!