My very dear, dear Wormwood,
This shall be my last letter to you for awhile as you will be too busy in your punishment to read anymore of my letters.
Rest assure that Diplop has some especially tasty torments for you. 'Tis I who was the one to recommend your punishment to Our Father Below and he decidedly approved my suggestions. You will be tormented by Diplop for five hundred years before going back to College. Hopefully, your experiences will teach you to be a better tempter.
Why, if it hadn't been for me to come and aide you at the last minute, your patient would have been lost to us forever.
I have invested too much time and letter writing to let that happen.
It was quite easy to whisper in the hunchback's ear that he should throw his master over the side of the cathedra,l as he has come to hate his father figure for everything he did to the gypsy.
You probably did not even notice that the monster was in love with the girl. If you had you could have used it to our advantage and had the priest kill the boy before he could make a mess of our plans.
If you had been paying more attention you would have known what he was up to.
Him, saving the gypsy, nearly destroyed all our hard work. I had to work quickly and get into the fevered mind of the priest and make him laugh over his victory of the witch after she was finally killed.
I believe that is what made the boy such an easy target to murder the priest. He could not stand by while his loved one died.
I was not sure if the priest had had time to repent of his sins and did not want to take the chance of him ever doing so. It is with great pleasure that I tell you he is currently being tormented by the unquenchable fires and thirst of Hell.
Corruption is still working on his patient and tells me he is near death's door from all the alcohol he has consumed and a particularly nasty disease he contracted one night at the brothel.
So, I expect him to be joining his brother soon. Won't that be a pleasant reunion?
I really wouldn't want to be in the priest's shoes when his brother finds out he was not as righteous as he would have everyone think. Oh, the delicious irony.
It is too bad you will not get to see it of course, but then I expect you will be in too much pain to think about them much.
When you get out of College I will expect you to write to me about your new patient.
I hope you do better with your next one, then you did this time for you sake. I don't know if I will be able to grant you any more favors and believe me, five hundred years of torment is better than the alternative.
I remain affectionately your uncle,
Screwtape