NICO DI ANGELO: User Guide and Manual
CONGRATULATIONS! You have just purchased your very own NICO DI ANGELO unit! This manual was made in order to allow you, the owner, to unlock your unit's full potentials, and it is advised to carefully read this pamphlet before attempting to operate your NICO DI ANGELO unit, as mistreatment may result in an angered unit and undead soldiers.
Technical Specifications:
Name: Nico Di Angelo. Will respond to "Nico", "Your Highness", "Ghost king", and angrily to "Bone head".
Age: 12 (70, if you want to get technical)
Place of Manufacture: Washington DC, USA
Height: 5'4
Weight: 130 lbs
Genderbend Specifications:
Your unit is one of the two units that have an opposite-sex counterpart.
Name: Nicole Di Angelo. Will respond to "Nicole", "Nicky", "Ghost Queen", and even more angrily to "Bone head" as the normal NICO DI ANGELO unit.
Age: 12 (70)
Place of Manufacture: Washington DC, USA
Height: 5'4
Weight: 130 lbs
This version of your unit has long hair, even more messy than her male counterpart. And though there aren't too many differences between the two, she will become upset if you compare her to a NICO DI ANGELO unit.
Your NICO DI ANGELO unit comes with the following:
One (1) bomber jacket
One (1) black tee shirt
One (1) pair of blue jeans
One (1) stygian iron sword
One (1) hades figurine
Two (2) sets of mythomagic cards
Two (2) skeletal warrior units
Five (5) golden drachmas
Programming
Your NICO DI ANGELO unit is equipped with the following traits:
Construction worker: Your unit has quite the talent for building, and you can put this to use by getting him to create a new gothic hangout downtown. The atmosphere will be great, but those pesky child labor laws will be a nuisance. We, the creators of this unit are not in any way responsible for any lawsuits caused by your unit.
Funeral planner: NICO DI ANGELO has a handy knack for speaking with the dead. He therefore is great at planning funerals! He knows exactly what the deceased want, and he's able to deliver. But a warning - the GENDERBENT NICO DI ANGELO tends to get into arguments with their family members about what they'd want to have at their funeral.
Child Star: Need some cash? Wanted a better actor in those nickelodeon shows you love to hate? Just send your unit to a modeling agency or movie audition, and he will immediately become popular. And with his natural antisocial nature, he will be great playing the weird goth kid. The GENDERBENT version of your unit has just the same personality, and will work just as well with this occupation.
Removal of your NICO DI ANGELO from Packaging
Due to your unit's grumpy disposition and love for naps, removing your unit from his box may prove to be quite the challenge. For your safety, we have provided a list of ways in which to wake him up, as improperly waking him will end in certain death.
1. Stand next to the box and play Halloween songs. Loud. Anything will do; Monster mash, This is Halloween, and the Addams Family theme song are popular options. Your unit will wake up grumpy, and after you free him from the box, he may go spirit away to a shadowy corner somewhere. Try to reprogram him as he broods.
2. Bake him some brownies, and set them outside the box. He will break out, hoping to find a rare BIANCA DI ANGELO unit. He will be upset if there isn't one there, but will allow you to reprogram him with minimal arguments.
3. Begin to rant about flowers. Or begin to nag him about his appearance. When you hear groaning and mutters coming from the box, you may remove the lid. If you have a GENDERBENT NICO DI ANGELO unit, she will argue with you furiously from inside the box. Either way, your unit will be delighted when they find out you aren't a PERSEPHONE unit, and allow you to reprogram him/her directly.
4. Activate his skeletal warrior units. This will automatically awaken your unit and he will shout at them to stop clattering all over the place.
Reprogramming
After successfully awakening or calming down your unit, you can decide to change his settings from the default modes into any of the following, if you so choose.
All of the modes have slight adjustments for the GENDERBENT version of NICO DI ANGELO.
Demigod (default)
Antisocial (default)
Cynical
Grouchy
Cheerful (locked)
Heartbroken (locked)
The NICO DI ANGELO unit comes in his default modes of Demigod and Antisocial. Demigod mode basically entails him having all of the normal demigod problems; ADHD, dyslexia, monsters chasing you. Antisocial means just that. He will avoid any contact with you or other people for as long as he can, unless you manage to develop a trusting relationship. Or if you owe him money. GENDERBENT NICO DI ANGELO is slightly more reasonable, but not by much.
His Cynical mode is not a default, but is very easy to unlock. Sometimes all it takes is a poorly made breakfast; and sometimes if you haven't spoken to him in a while, he'll think you're a horrible excuse for a human being. It is advisable to act as sickeningly optimistic and happy as possible, even though that might sound grating on the nerves now, following these instructions could save you from a large array of rude comments in the future.
The Cheerful mode is utilized simply by either purchasing a BIANCA DI ANGELO unit, or talking about how your neighbor's PERSEUS JACKSON unit is throwing a party with your landlady's THALIA GRACE unit; he will always be happier if some of his family is nearby.
NICO DI ANGELO's Heartbroken mode is found by talking about his mother or sister, by a PERSEUS JACKSON unit accidentally reminding him about them, or by breaking his Hades figurine. While in this mode, NICO DI ANGELO is known to throw temper tantrums, summon the dead, and burn his mythomagic cards. He will be especially hostile to all units other than BIANCA DI ANGELO. We, the makers of this manual, hereby give all claims to the owner and will not be blamed for whatever havoc is wreaked by your unit.
Relationships with Other Units
BIANCA DI ANGELO: That would be his older sister. BIANCA DI ANGELO raised your unit; he loves her more than anything. For GENDERBENT NICO DI ANGELO units, this is the only other female unit she can stand.
PERSEUS JACKSON: This is your unit's older cousin. While their relationship was rough in the past, they get along well now. You could say that PERSEUS JACKSON is your unit's best friend. WARNING! Do not let them in the same room if your NICO DI ANGELO enters Heartbroken mode. This will result in violence, property damage, and a severely disfigured PERSEUS JACKSON unit. Male NICO DI ANGELO units get along better with him.
THALIA GRACE: Your unit's other cousin. While your average male unit doesn't really know her well, she is best friends with the GENDERBENT NICO DI ANGELO. They may chat about clothes together, maybe polish their weapons; please remember, if you are male, it's not the best idea to interrupt their 'female bonding time' as neither unit will hesitate to attack you.
NICO DI ANGELO: Please, please, please keep him away from himself! They will argue, swordfight, write depressing poetry in Greek, plan world domination, and a multitude of other nightmarish things. That goes double for GENDERBENT units.
Cleaning
NICO DI ANGELO is capable of cleaning himself, and we advise that you remind him to get his hair cut every once in a while. It can be very unruly.
Feeding
Your NICO DI ANGELO can feed himself for the most part, but his ghostly buddies are a different case. We suggest getting McDonalds a few times a month and keeping your fridge stocked with coke.
Rest
Both NICO DI ANGELO and GENDERBENT NICO DI ANGELO are horrible at going to bed at a decent hour. They also take frequent naps, but don't try to question this. It will end in irritation.
Frequently Asked Questions
Q: The skeletons have vanished, and my NICO DI ANGELO doesn't even care! What should I do?
A: Ugh. Look, he probably just sent them back to the underworld for a while. When he wants them, he'll summon them back.
Q: My unit is always disappearing. He just hates staying still! How can I make him stop?
A: NICO DI ANGLO has ADHD. So, nothing you can do to make him stay still. As for the disappearing, try to bond more with your unit to make him want to stay.
Q: My GENDERBENT NICO DI ANGELO is giving me Hades because I won't buy a THALIA GRACE or BIANCA DI ANGELO.
A: Buy one of those units, or try to supply her with some alternate female companionship.
Troubleshooting
Problem: Instead of a broody, sarcastic (GENDERBENT) NICO DI ANGELO, you received a cheerful and bubbly unit who insists on teaching you how to play mythomagic.
Answer: Whoops, we sent you a PRE-TRAUMA unit on accident. This unit is younger and has not yet lost his/her sister. If, for reasons unknown, you don't want this unit, you can call Customer Services for an exchange.
Problem: Your unit spends too much time cooped up in his room, and refuses to let in any sunlight. That skin tone can't be healthy.
Answer: Your unit has gotten back into his underworld days. It's too late for you to do much. Have one of his cousin units come and drag him outside for a while, he'll be fine.
End Notes
With the proper care and treatment, you can find a valuable companion in (GENDERBENT) NICO DI ANGELO. We wish you good luck with your unit, because you're sure as Hades going to need it.