I will not murder Cosette, dye Eponine's hair blonde and tell Marius that she is Cosette

I will not blackmail Marius into making out with me. Well, I can't promise…

I will not make out with Gavroche. (Hey, I'm around his age. It's not illegal)

I will not lead Grantaire to a liquor factory and lock the doors

I will not sneak up behind Jean and scream 'I've found you 24601!'

I will not tell Cosette that Marius ran away and married Eponine.

I will not introduce Marius and Enjolras to slash fics.

I will not tell Eponine and Cosette that Marius is gay

Following the previous thought, I will not tell Marius that Cosette and Eponine are having a lesbian affair

I will not pour fake blood all over my clothes and tell Marius that I was shot, just so he'll snuggle with me

I will not beg and plead with Gavroche to set me up with Enjolras or Marius

Following the previous thought, I will not blackmail or threaten Gavroche if begging and pleading doesn't work

I will not get the Thenardiers a job running a daycare

I will not watch Marius take a bath. Scratch that, I think I will!

I will not paint Enjolras red and black while he's asleep

Sort of relating to the previous thought, I will not wear all black clothing with my red hair and parade around Enjolras singing "Red and Black" (I really do have red hair. I might do this actually)

I will not make Enjolras lead the Amis in singing "We're Not Gonna Take It" by Twisted Sister

I will not force Marius to slow dance with me

Following the previous thought, I will not make Marius be my date to the prom

I will not tell Enjolras that Cosette is secretly in love with him, tell him to declare his love for her, and then watch Marius beat the crap out of him

I will not tell Cosette and Eponine that Marius and Enjolras are in love, watch them beat the crap out of the guys, and then be there to comfort the guys….if you know what I mean