Logan watched as James swayed on his feet, laughing and partying with the others. It was sickening. Absolutely disgusting. He took another sip of his Coke and continued to watch as James stumbled towards a girl and started feeling her up, lips crashing together in no time at all.

They were at one of Guitar Dude's parties. The place was packed and the party was rocking at full force. The Hollywood party was complete with a rave-like atmosphere. The mansion smelled strongly of pot. About half the people there were wasted. The music blared obnoxiously as some of the girls there started to take their tops off, obviously drunk out of their minds. Somehow, Logan couldn't think like a normal teenage guy. He could not bring himself to be turned on by the half naked-make it fully naked-girls that were dancing around. In fact, he couldn't help but thinking that those girls were someone's daughters.

Logan really didn't even know why he was there. It was a Friday night that he'd much rather be spending at home. Or anywhere but there, really. He wished that he'd have stayed home, curled up on the couch with a good book or playing dome hockey with his friends. But of course, Kendall and the two Hollywood Super Party Kings of Hollywood had insisted that after Katie and Mrs. Knight left for a mother-daughter sleepover that they sneak out and go. Apparently, everyone was going to be there. So after being forced to attend, there he stood in the middle of the madness. Him and his lonely can of Coke.

Kendall and Carlos had been busy trying to meet some hot girls. They were determined to get a few numbers, a few dances if they could. They were striking out with every girl they talked to, even the drunk ones. That only pushed them to try harder. Thankfully, they stayed far away from anything containing alcohol, only there for innocent fun.

James, however was a completely different story. He had gone straight to the drink table and after being there two hours, he was completely, totally, utterly, undeniably, unmistakably, one hundred and thirty-two percent shit-faced. He stumbled around the party, screaming and laughing, completely embarrassing himself. Logan almost felt bad for him. Almost. After all, James was the one who decided he'd drink in the first place.

James was just about to walk away with the pretty girl he'd been molesting when Logan decided he needed to put a stop to this now. He ran over to him and grabbed his wrist, pulling him away from the intoxicated girl.

"Logan, noooo! What are you doin'?" James screamed.

"Come on, it's time to leave." Logan ordered, continuing to drag James away. Despite James' strength, the alcohol he'd consumed wouldn't let him put up much of a fight.

"No, Logan! We were just about to fuck!" James whined, feebly trying to release himself from Logan's tight grip.

"Yeah, I know! You've got enough going on in your life, you don't need herpes too!" Logan barked.

"Wait, wait, lemme grab somethin' to drink. I'm thirty!" James begged.

"I think you've had enough, I'm taking you home." Logan yelled, getting a little bit angry at his wasted friend.

After sending a quick text to Kendall explaining the situation, he opened the door to the backseat of his car and began fighting James to get in.

"James, let's go! You are going home and that is final!" Logan ordered.

"No! You ain't mommy Brooke! You're not gonna tell me what to do! I'm freakin' James…James Demon and I do what I please!" James screamed as he pushed Logan away.

Logan didn't expect the sudden action and fell backwards onto the ground. James took the opportunity to make a break for it. However, instead of running back to the party he climbed on top of the car, spreading out on his stomach and clutching the sides for dear life.

"You'll never take me alive! You'll never catch me!" James slurred.

Logan jumped to his feet. "James Diamond, get your ass down here now!"

"I can't hear youuuuuuuuuu!" James sang.

Logan quickly became livid. He grabbed a hold of James feet and yanked as hard as he could. James slurred a few words which Logan ignored as he continued to pull. Eventually, James loosed his grip just enough to come sliding down the back of the car and into Logan. Logan pulled him to his feet and threw him in the back seat before he had a chance to put up a fight. Logan hopped in the drivers seat and began the drive home.

"Logan, where are we going?" James slurred.

"Home." Logan answered, not bothering to look back.

"I don't wanna go home!" James let out an earsplitting scream and began to cry hysterically. "I don' wanna!"

"Dude, calm the hell down! What's your problem?" Logan tried to scream over him.

James crying immediately ceased. "You wanna know" James gulped. "What's bothering me?"

"Yes!"

James started to giggle. "It's…the thing in my pocket."

"What thing?" Logan rolled his eyes.

James didn't answer. Instead, he leaned forward and ran his fingers across Logan's face. Soon James had both hands traveling all over Logan's head. He ran his fingers through Logan's hair and over his eyes. As soon as a finger wiggled into Logan's mouth, he slapped him off.

"What the hell! Are you trying to get us killed?" Logan screamed.

"I hope there's money in heaven." James yelled.

"Shut up, man!" Logan yelled.

"You. You hate meeeeeeee!" James wailed.

Logan took in a deep breath, doing all he could to keep from screaming. Luckily, they had just arrived home and now Logan would be able to get James to go to sleep so he too could finally call it a night.

Logan parked the car and helped James out, practically dragging him into the Palm Woods. Thankfully, the lobby was empty. He had no idea how he would explain a tripping, wobbly James, who was now singing Barbie Girl.

Finally, they made it back to 2J. Logan let go of James and he fell to the floor with a thud. Logan sat down on the couch to catch his breath for a moment. James was really heavy. James rolled around on the floor, laughing manically. Slowly, he crawled over to Logan and pulled on his pant leg.

"I love you, Logan." James hiccupped. "You're my...bud. My favorite amigo!" He screamed as he cuddled Logan's foot.

Logan sighed, feeling angry, annoyed and tired. He didn't want to deal with drunk James anymore. "James, c'mon. It's bedtime."

"I'm not sleepy." James slurred.

"Yes you are. It's time for bed." Logan argued, softly.

"Kay!" James yelled, flopping onto his back and closing his eyes.

"Not here. You're going to your room."

"Will you sleep with me?"

"No."

"Why not? Do I stink?" James asked, sounding worried through his intoxicated mumbles.

"Yes. But that's not why. I have my own bed to sleep in." Logan reasoned.

"Oh." James said, satisfied with the answer.

James felt himself being pulled to his feet and Logan helped him up. Logan slung James' arm around his neck and led him to his room, heaving him onto the nearest bed, not caring that it was Kendall's.

"Where am I?" James asked, eyes shut.

"You're in your room. Just in Kendall's bed." Logan told him as he pulled off James' sneakers and tossed them to the side.

"I can't be Kendall, I don't want a hairy eyeball!" James moaned.

Logan chuckled a little bit, knowing what James meant. "Go to sleep, now. You're tired."

James eyelids were growing heavy and he let them fall. He stuck him leg out towards Logan. "Take it. I don't want it anymore." He said sadly.

"What? Your foot?" Logan asked, confused.

"Yeah. It's got rabies. Take it!"

"James, your foot is fine. Please go to bed?" Logan nearly begged.

"Will you be here later? Tomorrow in the morning and forever?" James mumbled, voice clogged with sleep and alcohol.

"Yes. Now please, go to bed."

"Kay." James slammed his head into his pillow and instantly fell asleep. He looked dead, dormant and soundless.

Logan let out a relieved sigh and trudged to his room. He sat in bed with his book, waiting to hear Kendall and Carlos get home. After another hour, he finally heard the door open and shut and two quiet whispers that he knew belonged to his friends.

Carlos came into their room and settled down on his bed, obviously exhausted from being turned down so many times in one night. "Hey, K told me what happened. Is James okay?"

Logan leaned into his pillows and sighed. "Fucking drunk as a skunk." He answered.

Carlos chuckled. "That's gonna hurt in the morning. He didn't do anything like…really stupid did he?"

"No, thank God. I was watching him and I stopped him right before he was about to have sex with some drunk girl."

"Shit." Carlos shook his head with disappointment. "How did he get a girl when he was wasted, but me and Kendall couldn't get one girl while being sober?"

"Well, he always has been good with the ladies." Logan chuckled lightly. "I'm going to bed. Goodnight Carlos."

"Night, Logan."

With that, Logan rolled over and shut his eyes, letting sleep claim him.