When the Walls Come Tumbling Down Chapter 27

I don't own SVU.

Olivia repositioned herself in the uncomfortable chair provided in the small room as as she waited. She had been waiting for nearly thirty minutes and was beginning to question her own reasoning for coming. She hadn't spoken to Chester Lake in years, nor had any of her colleagues as far as she knew. She wasn't sure if she was here to question him, thank him or just see him.

The sound of the door opening caused Olivia to turn and the sight of her caused Chester to immediately look away. He didn't appear surprised to see her and Olivia wasn't quite sure if that response was what she expected. He didn't smile, and Olivia found herself wondering if he had any reason to. He would be charged with the murder of Hector Johnston, yet his quality of life would remain as was. He was serving life in prison without possibility of parole and killing the animal that had caused his co-worker, his friend such pain seemed like no sacrifice at all.

The time had made Chester an angry man and the look in his eyes revealed just that, yet Olivia refused to look away. She couldn't help but feel she owed this man, yet there was no way of knowing if his actions helped or hurt her cause. Either way, Hector Johnston was gone and the one time fellow detective, her occasional partner, the cop serving a life sentence for murder was the reason why. She would thank him she decided, for that was the least she could do.

"Gonna interrogate me? I could save you the trouble." Chester's voice had changed from what Olivia remembered.

Olivia shook her head slightly from side to side as she contemplated on how to answer him. "Not why I'm here."

"Why are you here, Detective?" Chester was bitter and Olivia felt the sting of his words.

"Not sure exactly." Olivia relaxed when Lake did and for a brief moment they were sitting back at the one-six following an ugly case. "Why? Why make things worse for yourself, Chester?"

"Look around, Benson. Things don't get a whole lot worse than this." Chester eyes bore into Olivia's as he moved in closer to the table and let his words nearly touch her. "I had nothing to loose...but you did."

"You are so angry." Olivia words were whispered and if not for the drop in Lake's posture, she would have wondered if she had even spoken what she was thinking. The silence filled the room as Olivia stared at Chester and he in return refused to meet her eyes. "Look at me, Lake."

It was when the former detective looked into her eyes that Olivia realized where his head was. He was still one of them. Still one of the good guys, still living the law. He just sought justice in his own way, carried out his own sentencing. Olivia refused to fault him for that, at least not now. He had lost his career and his freedom the first time he carried out his own form of justice. This time maybe it was so he could sleep; so she could sleep. Those who fight monsters need to make damn sure they don't become one. Chester Lake was in no way a monster, yet Olivia found herself questioning just what defined him, or even defined her now. She was not sorry Hector Johnston was murdered right here in the hellhole in which he lived. She was not sorry Chester was responsible. He had nothing to lose, he was right about that and for just a bit he was once again part of them. Part of the one-six as they worked against the monsters that had declared war on them.

"Thank you." Olivia's worked to keep her voice steady as she watched several different emotions cross Lake's face. "It's been a rough few years."

"I know." Lake leaned back in his chair as he now kept his eyes trained on Olivia's. "I heard things got real ugly."

Olivia simply nodded not knowing just how much Lake knew but deciding he must have known enough.

Lake stared at Olivia for a long few moments before continuing. "You'll never win against these monsters. You do know that don't you, Liv?"

"We owe it to their victims to try." Olivia's thoughts went immediately to Maria and the waver in her voice reflected just that.

"Sorry about the little girl." Olivia returned her eyes to Lake's as the tone in his voice was that of the former SVU detective he once was. She could see he truly believed in what he had done and in that she found at least some solace.

"Me too." Olivia once again repositioned herself as the aching in her leg would inevitably cause her to stand. When it did, Lake let his eyes take in the unnatural stance causing his face to redden with anger.

"What are you going to do?" He spoke without taking his eyes away from her legs. Olivia's posture lacked the usual confidence and strength she would have usually stood before him with. He didn't recognize the uncertain way she let her fingers barely touch the table as she stood next to it, as if her ability to balance would be determined by what separated them.

"Not sure right now. About anything." Olivia's words lacked that same confidence and Chester began to stand to move toward her but it was if he suddenly remembered the rules. He forfeited his attempt to move closer to her, as he once again relaxed against the back of his chair.

"You're not ready to give up, are you?" Chester didn't wait for an answer as he continued in a tone that made Olivia return to her seat as well. "You've known for a long time that you...we...you fight a losing battle. You fight against the fight, the enemy remains nameless, faceless. That's how you are able to get back up...again and again. How long Olivia? How long before you become one of them?"

"Is that what you have become?" Olivia watched as Chester's features softened with her question. He seemed to study everything in the room before returning his eyes to meet her soft glare.

"I think maybe so. I snapped Olivia. I heard him talking about you, about what he had done, about what he had planned to do. I snapped." Chester's tone hardened and the hard look quickly reappeared as he finished.

"You're still fighting the fight, Lake. You are. You're just fighting for me now." Olivia carefully placed her hand on top of Chester's as they lay cuffed on top of the table. "I don't know what's going to happen, but you're right. I'm not done. Not yet."

Lake sat still praying Olivia would keep her hand as it was, gently on top of his. He missed his family at the one-six. He missed the contact. He missed her and what she stood for. "Fight then, Liv. Fight for you. Don't let the monsters win. Don't let them beat you. Give it up when you're ready, don't let them decide that for you."

"I'm a cripple, Lake. One fucking leg...this time for good." Olivia spoke with such defeat that even she had to sit back in an attempt to compose herself. "I can't even walk right. Can you see me chasing down a perp?"

Lake just shrugged. "Why not? They make fake legs you know that could probably even do the paperwork for you too."

Olivia laughed out loud at the thought and the reaction caused the first and only smile she would see from Chester. She stared at him and realized she missed him.

"Look into it, Detective. You'll be okay to give this all up, but it has to be on your terms." Chester stood at the same time as the door opened. Olivia noticed how he took on another persona as he was led from the room.

Olivia sat in the small room for a few more minutes before slowly making her way out of the prison. This fight has taken so much. The impossible war that they all fight in has taken so much from her. Her leg throbbed as she made her way to her car. She wasn't ready to lose, wasn't ready to give up. The battle ahead of her to return to full active status as a NYPD SVU detective seemed futile at best, but Chester was right. She wasn't done, not yet. Her terms, it had to be on her terms.

The cab drove off leaving Olivia just outside the one-six. She stood looking up at the horribly damaged building, wondering how anybody survived at all. Her thoughts were of her colleagues, her partner, her captain. The precinct would be rebuilt, it was slated to be completely demolished within the next few weeks. Those that were expected to return to duty would return there. As Olivia took in the building that she believed to be her safe haven, she couldn't help but shudder at the events that destroyed it. She closed her eyes against the memory of an injured Elliot and how helpless she felt trying to help her Captain. The immediate pain that broke her as Frank's bullet destroyed her leg. She wiped at the sudden tears that appeared from nowhere as she recalled the pained and worried look on Elliot's face as he talked to her through all of it.

Why did they do it? Why bother? There would always be monsters. There would always be another Hector Johnston. There would always be another William Frank. There would always be more monsters. Olivia opened her eyes at the faint sound of Maria's voice. She knew better, but still she scanned the immediate area. Maria was gone, but yet she talked to her still. She felt the little girl as her presence seemed to help steady her against the strong wind and unfavorable weather.

Olivia turned away from the memories only to face what was ahead of her. She needed to return. Maybe it would be to the one-six, maybe not. It wouldn't be the same. Cragen would not return. Fin would most likely transfer out once he was fully recovered. The building would be new, lacking the familiar sounds, smells and overall feel. Maybe that would be a good thing. Elliot would return. Olivia was certain he was not finished, but would she return as his partner?

She doubted their partnership would continue. They decided that themselves. She wouldn't trust herself as his partner now anyway. She couldn't protect him, couldn't be the partner he deserved. The strong, physically able partner that was so necessary.

Olivia began the long walk home. She could have taken the cab home, but her heart needed to see, needed to be reminded of just what was lost, what was still there. What she needed to do for herself, for Elliot, for Maria. Her leg throbbed, her body still so very sore. The pain didn't disable, only fueled her on. She was feeling again. She was feeling pain and that alone reminded her that she was indeed alive. Her strides weren't at her normal natural pace and the distance to her apartment seemed that much further because of that. She welcomed the pain that was now traveling through her good leg, her pace quickened a bit to challenge it. No, she was by no means done.

The sight that greeted her as she arrived at her home was enough to erase any and all pain, even if just for a moment. Elliot stood as she approached, yet allowed her to finish her journey before letting her fall into his chest. He noticed the tears that she had shed, he noticed the pain she was hiding. He noticed how she shook against him, how she needed him despite her strength. He would always be what she needed, whether or not they remained parters.

"How'd it go?" His voice invaded her and she closed her eyes as she absorbed it. She could listen to it all day everyday.

She smiled as she looked up at him. "It went well, I think."

Elliot watched as his partner stepped around him and made her way up the steps to her apartment. She was in pain but nobody would know it by the smile she gave him when she turned around. He hurried to catch up knowing one way or the other, they would always be partners.