Disclaimer - Characters belong to Marvel. Also, I need to warn you that this is in Jean's POV. READ IT ANYWAY! I think you'll still like it. ;)


~Lieder ohne Musik~



Cerebro Battle Log, Entry X62I - Jean Grey

First of all, I'm going to state once again that I don't see fairness in the fact that ONLY Scott and I can contribute to this log. I know it's because he's the field leader and I carry the role of deputy. Also, the Professor says that we know how to do it properly since we've been here the longest. But still, sometimes at least, the others should be able to contribute instead. It's just not fair otherwise.

Secondly, I'd like to point out that the "battle" in question was really no more than a confrontation. No one was hurt and there was no fight of any sort. However, I do agree that this particular event needs to be documented; it has changed everything.

The situation began this afternoon. School had been out for less than an hour and, believe it or not, almost all of us were home at the Mansion. I was with Rahne outside in the far yard, practicing her defensive skills. Mr. McCoy had asked me specifically to work with her on that; being a wolf half the time has given her a remarkable offense, but she tends to depend on it.

"What's the point of workin' on my defense if my offense's just fine?" Rahne asked me, the color rising in her pale Scottish cheeks.

I smiled as comfortingly as possible and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Rahne, you never know when you'll be caught off guard and need to defend yourself. Sometimes the threat is strong enough that you just need to keep safe, when there's no use in fighting back. Also, what if you're attacked in the middle of New York City at noon? You wouldn't be able to morph into a wolf then."

She shrugged. "I guess," she muttered grimly.

I nodded in agreement. "Good. Let's start, then." I brought my hand up to my forehead and concentrated on a large rock at the top of a pile resting near the oak tree. "We'll start off slowly; just dodge me." The rock shuddered, then lifted into the air and flew into Rahne's direction. She did a quick side step, but I continued the faux assault. "You'll have to do better than that," I laughed as I manipulated the rock to gently bump her leg. She fell to the ground into a sort of crawl, managing to thwart my attempts to catch her.

We were working at a somewhat faster pace when the Professor contacted me via telepathy:

~ Jean, come to my study at once. ~

Immediately, I let the rock fall back into its pile. Rahne looked at me questioningly. "Why'd you stop?"

"Professor's calling me. We'll work more tomorrow." I turned to leave.

"Yyyyyesss!" I heard her shriek as I left. (Am I THAT bad? I guess I need to rethink my training strategy.)

I made my way into the Mansion, bumping into Ray, Bobby, Jubilee, and Sam, who were all running away from the Danger Room. (After the whole ordeal was over that night, I found out that somehow they'd managed to fill the place with foam. I have no idea how, but they'll be on cleaning duty for quite a while.) At the Professor's study, I raised my fist to knock on the door, but before I could he proved to be one step ahead of me.

"Come in, Jean," he called. I opened the door and stepped inside. He sat behind his desk, looking thoughtful and pensive, as usual. His hands were folded and raised just under his chin, as is his unusual habit.

"You wanted to see me, Professor Xavier?"

He nodded. "As you know, Cerebro has been malfunctioning for a few months now. Much of the memory is still gone, but Hank has repaired it to some extent. This morning it detected a mutant in the area. However, it can no further information other than a specific location."

"But if it can't tell us who this mutant is, how do we know it's a NEW mutant in the area?"

"We don't, though the location in question is obviously not here at the Mansion or at the Brotherhood house."

"Couldn't you find out with your telepathy?"

"Certainly. But if this person IS a new mutant, I don't want to scare him or her away. As you know very well, a strange, sudden voice resonating through one's brain has an unsettling quality. It could lead this mutant straight to Magneto."

"That's true," I agreed, though privately I had my doubts.

"So I want you and a few others to go and try to make contact with this person. Explain what we do, offer our assistance..."

"The usual pitch," I muttered. I really was not pleased with the idea of giving up my free time yet again to try and cajole someone new to join up. I had a lot of homework to do this afternoon (which, by the way, I still haven't finished) and I was supposed to call Duncan soon. But what could I do? "Who'll the others be?"

"I was thinking..." He turned slightly in his wheelchair and opened the curtains of a window positioned behind his desk. "Kurt and Rogue."

"Oh," I responded. They would not have been my choices for ideal partners. Kurt's really nice and can empathize with new possible recruits, but he's usually just not serious enough. Rogue's difficult to deal with in most situations, from recruiting to trying to borrow homework. I have no idea what her problem is.

"They're the only others available with enough field experience," the Professor continued, as if he were reading my mind (no pun intended). "Scott has a track meet, Evan's in detention again, and Kitty is at the mall with Lance."

"What about Ms. Munroe and Mr. Logan?"

He shook his head. "They're on another mission at the moment. No, I've made up my mind; this will be the team. Besides, you three all need to learn to work with new situations, new people. Things do not always go according to plan."

"Yes, Professor." The irony that this sounded a lot like what I'd told Rahne did not escape me.

"Good." There was silence for a moment, and I knew he was calling Rogue and Kurt with his mind. In about thirty seconds Kurt came running in.

"Yes, Professor!" He stood as if at attention.

"Sit down, Kurt," I told him, motioning to the seat next to me. He did so.

Rogue walked in then, complete opposite of the antsy Kurt; she was in no hurry at all and sat down in an armchair without being invited. Her green eyes, though, were moving, taking everything in with the same rapt attention as Kurt's.

The Professor proceeded, "Kurt, Rogue...I have just informed Jean of a situation involving a possible new mutant."

Rogue raised an eyebrow. "'Possible?'"

"Cerebro's not all fixed yet," I explained.

She rolled her eyes. "Thanks, Professor."

"Anyway," Professor Xavier continued, a slight cautionary tone to his voice. "You three are to visit this location and make contact with this person. Explain hiss or her new abilities and whatnot." He took a small square of paper from his top desk drawer and pushed it across the table towards us. Kurt reached for it, but I grabbed it first. I scanned the address; it was an apartment in downtown Bayville.

"How're we going to get there?" Kurt asked eagerly. "X-Jet?"

The Professor chuckled and shook his head. "How about the Mazda?"

Kurt groaned and Rogue cried, "Aww, man!" I shook my head in amazement. Seriously, the X-Jet? What were these two thinking?

The Professor tossed me the car keys. "Good luck," he said, his parting words.

***

I'm not going to go into any major detail about our preparation, even though I should, technically. We didn't change into our uniforms or anything (like a disembodied voice in one's head, people in strange black uniforms do not improve a recruiting situation). In less than half an hour, at approximately 4:15 p.m., we were on our way. I was driving the car, with Kurt in passenger seat, though usually he was turned to Rogue in back.

"Aw, man!" Kurt cried. "Thees is sooo cool, Rogue! Two special missions in less than a month!" (A couple weeks ago they'd accompanied Wolverine to the Sahara Desert and encountered Magneto. Considering they'd blown it and let Magneto get away, I can't see why he was so excited.)

"Calm down, Kurt. We're just gonna go talk to some sap 'bout goin' up," Rogue said, but there was a hint of smile in her voice.

"We shouldn't call him a sap. Or her. This person could be our new teammate," I retorted while waiting for the light to change.

Kurt shrugged. "Hey, Rogue zapped me into Middleverse and I forgave her. They von't care."

They both laughed, at almost the same pitch. I sighed. There was no point in arguing.

It was a little over 4:30 p.m. when we pulled onto Sohner Avenue, where the mutant's apartment building stood. It's probably the poshest part of town, with nice shops and restaurants up and down the block. As we slowly drove, searching for a parking spot, a band was setting up on a makeshift stage, and because it was Friday, there was already a crowd, which was bound to stay a distracting size for several hours. By some wonderful luck, there was a spot open right in front of the small apartment building; I pulled in and we all got out. The building, the name of which, according to the red script letters out front, was "La Camera Della Famiglia."

We exchanged a look and then continued to stand, squinting up at the place. Finally, I said, "Let's get going." And we did.

We went through the front door into a small, shabby lobby, and discovered the elevator was broken. So, grumbling, we walked up the necessary four flights. The hall was narrow and dimly lit, but not in too bad a condition. The specific apartment we were seeking, 4-E, was at the end of it. We stood in front of the door and hesitated for only a few seconds before Rogue rapped on the door.

Rather quickly, the door was opened by a smallish boy. His dirty blond hair partially hid his sad blue eyes, and his ripped shirt read "Marilyn Manson." Suddenly, I was glad that Rogue and Kurt had come; as the outsiders of the X-Men, they would probably have an easier time relating to this boy.

"H-hello?" he asked, the chain lock still protecting him from us.

I smiled brightly. "Hi. We've come to talk to you about this...difficult time you're going through."

His eyes widened instantly. "You mean," he whispered loudly. "The...things I can do??"

"Yes." I resisted the urge to go into his mind and make sure we were talking about the same thing; I had gotten in trouble for that a few times. "Your...powers. Will you let us in?"

He paused and studied us, as if making sure we weren't psychos or killers. Finally, he nodded, closed the door, and opened it again, now chain-free. "Come in, I guess," he said softly.

We cautiously stepped inside. The apartment wasn't dilapidated so much as bare. In the living room, for instance, there was only an old blue couch and a coffee table with a small lamp on top. What was really interesting was the fact that there was no television set; the room looked off center without one. The boy closed the door behind us and sat down on the couch. He looked up at us with expectant eyes. We stood awkwardly in front of him, in the television's place. There was silence for a minute.

"So," Rogue eventually said. "What's yer name?"

"Ben," the boy whispered.

"Well, then, um, Ben," I said. "We've heard that you're going through a rough time. You probably feel scared and out of place right now. But I promise, these powers you have are a blessing." It was my instinct to sit down at that point, but the only available seat was next to the boy, and I didn't want to startle him. The three of us continued to stand in a sort of huddle.

Ben shook his head. "I don't think so."

"Vhat ARE your powers? Vhat is it you can do?" Kurt asked.

"I don't wanna say," the boy whispered, staring at the arm of the couch.

We three recruiters exchanged a look. "Um, that's okay, Ben. You don't have to tell us anything right now. Let me explain why we're here." At that point, I slowly sat down on the couch; Ben inched away nervously. "We're from a school, a special school, where we're taught about our wonderful gifts. It's hard to fit into society in any case, and having these...abilities...will make it even harder. We can help you come to terms will all this."

"But..." Ben said softly. "But I don't want to."

I paused, then asked, "You don't want to...what?"

"I don't want to come to terms with this. To say I need to 'come to terms' with my powers makes it sound like they're BAD. They're not. I know they're not; you don't have to convince me." He sat up a little straighter and continued, "I don't belong in society - no mutant does. And I'm GLAD. I have embraced my strangeness, my outside nature. I don't want to be like everyone else. Everyone else should be bowing to US. We should not have to conform." His blue eyes narrowed as he spoke; they were ice blue. "Because WE are the superior beings! Everything Darwin ever said about 'survival of the fittest'...it all leads to us!"

I didn't know what to think. I just sat and stared, shocked. Rogue, though, took a step back.

"You are not vhat you seem," Kurt said, moving back slightly as well.

Ben laughed; in rumbled in his thin chest. "No." He stood up and smiled darkly. "No, I'm not." And where a small boy once stood, a blue-skinned woman now occupied the space.

Kurt gasped. "Mystique!"

I had, at that point, jumped up and now stood by the couch. It was definitely her, but she was...different. She was taller, more sturdy looking, and her skin had a somewhat scaly quality to it.

"Yes, Kurt, it's me. I'm not dead." Mystique smirked, as if the very idea was amusing. She reached into her pocket and pulled out a small electronic device, resembling a remote control. "I used this to imitate the presence of a newly developed mutant. Lucky for me, Cerebro isn't working enough to tell the difference."

Rogue and Kurt seemed to be frozen, and I wondered whether this was what had ruined their last mission. SOMEBODY needed to take action, so I cried, "You won't get away this time, Mystique!"

She laughed again. "And what exactly have I done wrong, Jean Grey? All I want to do is talk...with my CHILDREN."

Once again, I was swept with utter confusion, and judging by the expression on Kurt's face, so was he. But Rogue, unbeknownst to Kurt, was staring at him in total shock, and something else. At the moment, I couldn't identify the other particular reaction, but now I know what it was.

Recognition.

Mystique knew it before I did. "That's right, Rogue. I've come for my son..." She paused and gazed at Kurt. "...AND my daughter." She focused her eyes back on Rogue.

Kurt's head whipped back. "WHAT?! Daughter...?" He turned to Rogue and stared at her, his awe of the revelation clearly evident.

"Yes," Mystique continued. "Almost sixteen years ago, when I gave birth, I had a son and a daughter. You two...my twins." With the last word, her voice softened to a wistful tone. "I lost you, Kurt, by a horrible accident, and you, Rogue, to my own neglect, my servitude to Magneto. But that can change...it WILL! The time has come for my children to join me. You can't stay with Xavier..." She practically spit out the Professor's name. "It's not safe! It won't be long until the existence of mutants becomes known, and humanity will not tolerate us. The dream of a peaceful co-existence is simply foolish; they'll not accept us. And we should not accept them! With Magneto, the mutant race will be prepared - humanity will think twice before they take us on! And the world will be ours. Join me!"

None of us spoke then; I don't think we could. And just when a terrible suspicion that they were actually considering her offer entered my mind, Rogue took several deliberate steps forward, until she was right in front of Mystique.

"JOIN you?!" Her eyes were filled with fire, her voice with venom. "All mah life, ah thought mah mother hated me 'cause she was never 'round! They tol' me mah twin was DEAD! Ah was practic'lly alone all these years when ah didn't hafta be! And now, when the timin's convenient an' ya know we're both MUTANTS, now ya want us! Well, NO! Yer not hurtin' us anymore! It's all YOUR fault!"

She turned away and stared heatedly at the ground. Kurt had been affected by her outburst; his face, too, was now contorted in anger.

"All zis time, you knew about both of us?" he asked, deadly quiet. "And you didn't tell us the truth? You let us go on vundering?" He shook his head and looked away. "You're no family of mine, Mystique. Of ours."

And then Mystique was silent. Her mouth hung open, and the cunning look on her face had turned grief-stricken. All I could do is watch what was unfolding.

Finally, she said, "I...I'm...I'm sorry."

Then she ran to the door, opened it, and darted out. I looked to Kurt and Rogue, but they weren't going anywhere. So I ran into the hall after her. She was already out of sight; there was nowhere to go but the stairs, so I bounded down as fast as I could. When I finally got outside, though, the band that had been setting up earlier was now performing before an enormous crowd, and Mystique could have been anyone. There was no point in trying to find her with my telepathy - my powers weren't advanced enough to sort through so many minds.

I walked back into "La Camera Della Famiglia" and back up the stairs. The door of apartment 4-E was still open.

"She got away - " I started to tell them at the doorway.

Rogue and Kurt stood facing each other, absolutely quiet in their contemplation. There was a hush for a full minute or two, probably more, probably since Mystique last talked. I didn't enter the room, but hovered outside.

Finally, Kurt murmured, "Lieder ohne musik..." His voice trembled.

"What?" I asked.

"Lieder ohne musik," he repeated. "A song vithout music. Thees feels like a song vithout music."

Rogue gasped, and then did something I never thought possible - she broke into tears.

Kurt shook his head. "No, no! Ve don't have to cry anymore, Rogue." But his voice was breaking, too. "Ve don't have to cry, sister!" He held open his arms.

Rogue rushed into them and they embraced, both sobbing for years of separation, grief, and loneliness. For the pain each had endured without the other. And for the joy of being reunited once more.

I stood just beyond the door, feeling for the first time in my life like an outsider.

***

More happened after all this, but it's not important. Technically, I should write about it anyway. But I won't. I can't write anymore. Like I stated before, it's not fair that only Scott and I can write these entries. We may be the team leaders and we may know how to do these correctly. We still shouldn't be the only contributors. It's just not fair, not everyone else.

It wasn't my place to tell this story.

- Jean Grey, April 5, 2002


Author's Note - I've noticed that a lot of fics just seem to take for granted the fact that Kurt and Rogue are siblings; they don't tell the story. I think the tale of how they discover this is too important to gloss over. So here's my version...I hope you liked it! And as for Jean being the narrator...I dunno. I just liked the idea. Please review, but be gentle!!