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Mercedes woke up to the sound of shouting. There was a heavy feeling in her chest and her eyes were sore from crying. Puck must have moved her to his bed sometime during the night but she couldn't remember if he had lain down with her not. The thought of Puck brought about another pang of sadness. Mercedes blinked back a few tears and focused on taking in her surroundings.

"You're finally up," Puck said from his computer. His back was turned from his bed, but he had heard Mercedes' moving softly. Mercedes didn't answer. Her throat was dry and she didn't trust her response anyway.

"When you're ready, I'm going to drive you to Kurt's to get your car." Mercedes still didn't answer, but she shook her head in understanding as if Puck could see her.

The Jewish teen let out a sigh. "Are you listening Mercedes?" After a long pause she croaked out a yes.

The two stayed silent for a few more minutes before Puck got up from his seat at his desk and climbed into bed with Mercedes. She stiffened at the feeling of his warm body beside her. He was close enough to make her breath hitch, yet not close enough to touch.

"You're wrong," Mercedes whispered.

"I'm pretty sure I know what you're talking about, and I'm not."

"You're the only guy I have ever been in love with. I'm still in love with you Puck."

"I love you too," Puck said without skipping a beat. "But I know this thing you have with Evans isn't just about sex. Maybe you're not in love with him, but you care about him."

Mercedes wanted to deny it but she couldn't keep lying. "So, I care about everyone in glee."

Puck snorted. "You didn't fuck everyone in glee." He looked at Mercedes out of the corner of his eye. "At least I don't think you did."

Mercedes smacked him on the arm. The sound of Puck chuckling softly sparked a hope inside her that maybe they would get through this, but then Puck started talking and the flash of hope was gone.

"I believe you when you say you love me Mercedes, I really do. You look at me like you actually give a shit about me, but you look at Sam that way too. At first I didn't mind it, you were with me so it was easy to ignore you're feelings for Sam. But the more time that passed, the closer you two got, the harder it got to ignore I was sharing my girl's heart with some other dude.

"I kind of always knew deep down that we wouldn't last, so you sleeping with Evans wasn't a surprise." Puck shifted closer to Mercedes and let her rest her head against his side. "I guess I was so pissed because where I had to fight for your affection, you just gave it to him freely, which made me think you cared about him more all along."

Mercedes reached out from Puck's comforter and laced his fingers with hers. He was right, but damn did it hurt. "I'm still in love with you Puck," she repeated.

She felt his hand tighten around her fingers. "We should probably go get your car." Puck removed himself from Mercedes and got off of his bed. He went to his closet to grab his leather jacket, and then moved to the foot of his bed to slide into his combat boots.

"I'll be in the kitchen when you're ready," he said, and left out of his room. Mercedes' heart clenched as Puck closed the door behind him. They had seen each other naked numerous times. The fact that he felt the need to leave out so she could put her pants back on hurt. Maybe he no longer cared to see her in any kind of intimate way, or maybe seeing her getting out of his bed half naked would stir up feelings he no longer wanted to act on. Either way, he no longer wanted her, and that realization stung.

Mercedes forced herself out of Puckerman's bed and slid into her pants. She tried not to think about the awkward impending car ride as she put on her flats. Tears welled in her eyes as it hit her that this would probably be the last time Puck would let her close to him. Come Monday and he probably wouldn't be talking to her.

"Mercedes?" Puck called from somewhere in his house.

Mercedes cleared her throat and replied with a short, "Coming," as steadily as her voice would allow.

"Here's a cup of coffee." Puck offered as she entered his kitchen.

"No thank you." Puck shrugged, and poured her coffee into the thermos in his other hand. Without a word, he walked past her and grabbed his car keys off of a small stand outside the kitchen in a silent statement that he was leaving. Mercedes shuffled behind him quietly, a sense of dread intensifying with each step.

She watched as Puck bound down his front steps and walked briskly to his truck. Puck either wasn't fazed by the past twenty-four hours, or he had the best poker face in the world; Mercedes suspected the latter. Puckerman tried to be a badass, but shit cut the man deep. He would never forgive his father for bailing. He was still upset about not being able to raise his child. And Mercedes was sure that no matter how many years passed, a part of Puck would still keep her on his shit list. The two might be able to become amiable one day, but things would never be the same.

Mercedes reluctantly opened the passenger side door and climbed in. Puck cranked up his truck and fiddled with the radio for a minute before he finally decided to turn the radio off. The silence rang heavy between them but wasn't completely unwelcomed. The teen dared a glanced at Puck, who was turned around in his seat trying to back out of his driveway. She tried not to let her thoughts turn sexual at the sight of his neck straining to look behind him, or at the way she could see his abs contracting through the thinness of his shirt.

Puck's eyes locked with Mercedes for a brief moment as he turned to face forward. In that brief moment his guard was let down and his eyes drooped with sadness before the poker face was back in place and he focused on the road. Tears' welled in Mercedes' eyes before she could stop them, but she didn't want to cry in front of Puckerman. She made herself look like enough of a jackass for a lifetime, so she leaned back, closed her eyes, and prayed he wouldn't notice the tears that fell silently.

A thousand thoughts were racing through Puck's mind as he drove to the Hummel residence. He tried to keep his thoughts void of his ex-girlfriend, but it was getting increasingly harder to do. When he had woken up and seen her in his bed, for a second he had forgotten about the events from the previous day and had actually been happy. Then he took in her tear streaked faced and remembered that things between them were fucked up and it had been all of her fault.

Part of Puck was pissed. Mercedes had been the first person he had ever let in and she had thrown that in his face. He had followed the rules of monogamy and gotten bitten in the ass for it. What was worse was that everyone in school probably knew about his public break down outside the principal's office and Monday would be hell.

Part of Puck was hurt. By Monday he would lie and deny it with all of his being, but Mercedes Jones had hurt him. He didn't want to hate her, but deep down he knew he did. He hated her not because she cheated on him, but because she made him believe people could actually give a damn about him, but then only proved his theory that no one ever would.

Part of Puck wanted to console Mercedes. Even though he was hurting, he knew she was too. He wanted to turn off his feelings for her, but once you're in love with someone they never quite get from under your skin. Puck knew Mercedes was crying beside him and it broke his heart. He still hated to see her cry and that would probably never change. At a stop sign he gently grabbed one of Mercedes' hands in his and laced their fingers together. He was mad and hurt, but that could wait for Monday.

Mercedes tensed as she felt Puck hold her hand. His hand felt right but at the same time reminded her that they were no longer together in the way she wanted. The most Mercedes could ask for friendship and she had a feeling that she might be able to get it.

The rest of the ride was silent. Puck would alternate between resting his hand contently against Mercedes' and stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. When he pulled up to Kurt's house he squeezed her hand softly. Mercedes' eyes were closed but he knew by the way she tensed that she realized this was where she would have to leave him. She slowly lifted her head and sighed. Kurt's car was in the driveway, but she did not see Burt's vehicle. If God had any mercy for her the rest of the family would not be home to witness what a hot mess she was.

"Burt and Carole are at some buffet and Finn is at Rachel's," Puck said as if he could read Mercedes' mind. Mercedes nodded, but didn't make a move to get out of his truck.

"Do you want me to call Kurt to come outside?" Puck asked gently. Mercedes couldn't help but think that he was being surprisingly nice to a girl who had just fucked him over in a big way. If the tables had been reversed she didn't know if she would have been as nice to him. Then again, if he was being this nonchalant, maybe he didn't care as much as he said he did. Maybe Puck had wanted to break up with her for a while and was only saying he loved her as a front. The thought made her eyes water again and her hand clinch tighter around his.

Pick sighed, "Look I gotta go okay. You're going to have to let go Mercedes." Mercedes shook her head. She opened her mouth to tell him no but nothing would come out.

"I have to go," he repeated. Puck tried to pry his hand from Mercedes. She wanted to hold on until either he gave in or her hand fused to his but even through her pain her pride was getting sick of her clinginess. Mercedes let go but a wave of panic hit her as Puck pushed the unlock button.

"Please don't do this," pleaded Mercedes as she reached to take a hold of Puck's arm. Tears threatened to fall as the realization hit her that Puck was seriously done. "We can make this work. I'm selfish, reckless, inconsiderate, and impulsive," a choked sob broke her speech.

"And so is Sam," Puck cut in. "You two are one in the same and will either fix each other, or keep one another from destroying someone else."

A retort had been at the tip of Mercedes' lips but Puck's response had silenced her; or keep one another from destroying someone else. Had she really been that awful? Did he really think she was such a horrible human being that she would be like the plague to anyone that she tried to be with, tried to love?

"Bye Puck," said Mercedes. She opened the passenger side door and slammed it closed. She could hear him give a faint goodbye before he turned the car back on to leave. The itch to turn around and watch him leave gnawed at Mercedes but she knew it would just be pathetic. Puck had made his point very clear. He pitied her so he had comforted her, but to him she was still an unlovable bitch.

"Well fuck you too Puckerman," she said out loud.

Before Mercedes could make to Kurt's porch, the front door opened and her best friend jogged out to her. "Oh my god!"

Mercedes snorted. "I must really look like shit."

Kurt shrugged sheepishly. "I'm sorry I was just so worried about you. When Puck called and said he would drop you off in the morning I had thought that maybe you two were going to work things out, but I see I was wrong." Kurt paused as if trying to decide if he should say something, but then decided to go ahead. "I'm glad things didn't work though."

"What?"

"It makes this a little less awkward." Before Mercedes could respond Sam walked out of Kurt's front door and stood behind the shorter man. Mercedes' couldn't help the way her skin tingled at the sight of the blond. Part of her wanted to tell him to fuck off, but the situation wasn't his fault. Sam hadn't been dating Puck, and yet the blond still looked like a wounded puppy about to be scolded by his owner.

"Do you think we could talk?" Sam asked cautiously.

Mercedes looked at Kurt as if he would answer for her but her friend just looked at her expectantly with his big blue eyes. "Yeah that's fine." And it was, especially since she had nothing else to lose.

Kurt took Mercedes' ok as a cue to leave. When it was just Sam and Mercedes the two sat in the grass on Kurt's lawn.

Sam started the conversation first. "I'm sorry I fucked everything up."

Mercedes wanted to laugh at the blonde's sincerity. He genuinely thought he was to blame for everything. "This wasn't your fault Sam."

"But it kind of was. I knew you were with Puck and I couldn't handle it. I'm selfish and possessive and I wanted you even though you weren't mine. You told me no so many times and I still tried to be with you. I was a total dick and I'm sorry it cost you your relationship."

Mercedes could tell it was her time to speak but she let the silence lapse. It would be easy to tell Sam that he was right. Her breakup with Puck was his fault. She had lost the one guy who loved her because of him and his addictive dick. But the truth was, she was a mess. She knew what she wanted and she went for it. Too bad what Mercedes wanted was a white boy that wasn't her boyfriend. She loved Puck, there was no doubt about that, but being a mess was in her DNA. What had turned her on so much about Sam was that for once in her life she could be herself unapologetically. That was the treat they gave themselves and now her bullshit was taking that away from Sam.

"Don't apologize, Sam," Mercedes said, looking him in the face for the first time since they had sat down. "Don't apologize for doing what you want."

Sam looked confused for a moment but went with it. "You're not mad?"

Mercedes frowned. "I'm still sad. A part of me wants to wake up tomorrow and all of this to be some kind of fucked up dream. But, I'm at peace with everything." Sam didn't look convinced but wisely reminded silently. He picked at a blade of grass as he waited for Mercedes to continue.

The two sat on the lawn. Mercedes had her eyes closed and was humming the lyrics to some song. Sam desperately wanted to hold her. She could say she wasn't hurting all she wanted but Sam knew her better than she thought he did. Mercedes was a tough girl, but when you hurt her, it cut deep.

Randomly Mercedes started chuckling. "You know what's funny? Puck said that I loved you and I just didn't know it yet."

A soft blush stared to creep to Sam's cheeks and he looked down quickly. "Do you?" he asked.

"Oh Sam," Mercedes started. "I couldn't love someone even if they paid me."

"I think you could," he argued. "I also think that maybe I'm in love with you."

Mercedes rolled her eyes and threw a weed at him. "You're not in love with me Sam. We connect because of who we are, but we're not in love. If there's anything I've learned it's that you need to do what's right for you. I like to fuck. I liked being with Puck but I was fooling myself into thinking I could do a monogamous relationship." Mercedes laid down in the grass with Sam following her lead. The two lay side by side with their gazes trained on the sky.

"But you can still love someone and not be monogamous," Sam argued.

"True, but you can't when it's not what the other person wants. Love is about taking another person's feelings in consideration with your own. Hell, most of the time you put their needs above your own." Sam still looked skeptical.

"This is love," Mercedes said as she grabbed Sam's hand. She scooted closer to the blond and laid her head on his shoulder. "Love is being so at home with a person that holding their hand is enough. Emotional intimacy far outweighs any kind of physical intimacy when you love a person."

"How about if our hands were on my dick?" he asked seriously.

Mercedes barked out a laugh. The sky overhead was setting and a soft bluish film sat above them. The warmth of Sam's shoulder underneath her head made her eyes droop a bit as a smile crept on her face. The moment felt right and important, but she knew better than to mistake it for more than it was.

"No they can't, but that's okay. Love is overrated Sam. We can do that in our forties, but as teenagers we should only be fucking."

"Just fucking?"

"Just fucking, and maybe going to the Lima Bean because their cappuccinos are amazing and fuck if I don't need one after everything."

Sam chuckled softly, "I think I can handle that."

Kurt watched from the window as Mercedes got up and extended a hand to help Sam up. Sam must have said something funny because Mercedes laughed and punched him on the shoulder playfully. The two turned around and started to walk toward Mercedes' car, Sam's hand linking with Mercedes' on the way.

A/N: Soooo this ended kind of different than I expected. If I'm being honest, I just really wanted to finish this because it was getting ridiculous how long it was taking to update! I might fix this later, but overall it'll be the same. Big hug and kisses to everyone that has read and reviewed. Mucho gracias!