Pairing: Izaya/Namie

Prompt: Izaya/Namie couple's therapy

"Because therapy is good for you!"
Yagiri Namie's eyebrow twitched. Izaya had noticed that it was always the left one and that it always meant trouble.
"I do not see the point."
"Like I said, it's a chance of talking about our relationship and improving on it. As humans we are part of a social species and as such we must work on our communication."
Izaya smiled as neutrally as he could. Namie was not even remotely convinced.
"I am busy. I have many things to attend to-"
"No worries, as your boss I am, how should I put this, greatly encouraging you to attend these therapy sessions with me."
"If you want to order me then say so."
"'Ordering' is such harsh language. Words carry a history, I am merely giving you a strong encouragement. It counts as work, too, so you'll be getting paid and all. How bad can it be, really?"

"Welcome, Orihara-san, Yagiri-san. Please take a seat."
The therapist could tell that these two would prove a hard case. The guy was all smiles in a rather disturbing way that reminded him a bit of hyenas and the girl shot darts from her stony stare and looked ready to claw someone's eyes out.
"We finally decided to try some therapy."
"I see. So, are you a couple?"
"Yes."
"NO."
The therapist blinked. Apparently the woman disagreed with the status of 'couple'. He checked the file, leafing it slowly. This part was most for show but most prospective patients were impressed by paperwork.
"But you do work together?"
"I am Namie's employer."
"That's 'Yagiri-san'."
Izaya sighed heavily as if he was greatly grieved. The therapist decided that these two had to been sleeping together. Otherwise she would be too afraid of being fired to be so snappy.
"See what I mean, doctor?"
"We'll start by developing what I like to call an 'open dialogue and cooperation'. Yagiri-san, I will ask you to describe Orihara-san in five adjectives. I'll write them on this board."
Namie was reminded of grade school and she just happened to hate that period of her life. Being surrounded by idiots took its toll.
"Childish, perverted, sadistic, irresponsible, manipulative."
"Orihara-san, your turn."
"Sexy, intelligent, demanding, unforgiving, snarky."
The therapist finished writing.
"On the right column we have 'Positive' adjectives, in the left column we have 'Negative' adjectives. When you say 'childish', do you mean with child-like joy?"
"No, I mean it in the same way children use magnifying lenses to burn up ants."
"Hey! I never did that! You're the one into that kind of thing."
"Only for scientific purposes."
The therapist coughed.
"As you can see there is a schism here. Yagiri-san qualified Orihara-san with negative adjectives while Orihara-san qualified Yagiri-san with some positive terms."
Namie lifted and eyebrow and folded her arms.
"I don't agree with this classification. Why is 'demanding' in the 'Negative' category and 'sexy' in the 'Positive' one?"
The therapist had heard many a things in his career but this was new.
"Either way there's no demanding that you're sexy. I keep telling you to wear shorter skirts but-"
"You better watch what you say, Izaya. You're this close to sexual harassment."
"So you are on given name basis? Good, that is a first step."
"As I said, we are not a couple."
"Namie, if we're not a couple then what are we? We sleep together fairly frequently."
"I am clearly being exploited to serve your sick needs."
"As if anyone could exploit you! Don't try to pin it all on me, it takes two to tango."
"Use proper language."
"Okay, it takes two to have sex. Doc, we also have to work on our sex life."
Apparently the therapist was either losing status in Izaya's mind or it was a matter of being more familiar to ease the stress of the whole affair. The therapist was unsure.
"'We'? You make it seem as if I was not dragged here against my will."
"I simply encouraged you-"
"Let us get back to basics, shall we? How long have you known each other?"
"A few years."
"And how did you meet?"
These tended to be safe areas that were best tackled first. That and the therapist was not looking forward to the insanity that he was sure would follow and wanted to stall as much as possible.