a/n: just so you know, i fully ship james/lily. afterall, without that we would never have Harry. I have however recently discovered my love for the guilty pleasure that is Snape&Lily. I always loved Severus, even from the beginning of the books when they tried to tell us he was bad and evil. I think perhaps that if I had been at Hogwarts during this era i would have fallen for Severus. There is just something about a wounded bad boy that makes him hard to resist. So please, enjoy and review. this is my first time with this couple and i hope i did them justice. :) happy reading.

The Potions Closet

Lily had one arm holding the heavy door of the closet open, the other reaching for a jar or wolfsbane too high for her. She grumbled and stepped forward, her fingertips touching the jar, pushing it even father back on the shelf. With a groan she reached up even higher on her tip toes and released the door. It shut with a resounding click and she heard the faint sound of it locking. After all, the Potions master had a locking charm on it than any capable witch or wizard could handle from the outside.

From inside however, it was impossible to get out. He had created it to catch thieves, and while Lily was taking ingredients without permission, she hardly would call herself a thief. She was merely trying to read ahead and learn the potions before next weeks class. She did hate not knowing everything before the rest of the students, and took pride in being a know it all.

After all, if a person was going to be labeled something, they had better live up to it. Quickly accepting that she was locked in until either the professor came to get something or someone else decide to 'borrow', she stuffed the jar into her bag and settled to wait. There was little else she could do. With a sigh she took out her wand and conjured a chair.

That left little room in the closet, but she wasn't about to stand around all day, perhaps all weekend waiting for someone to come rescuing her. She considered trying a few charms in an attempt to blow herself out of the room, but that could end up badly, and she rather liked her eyebrows. Heavy footsteps pounded down the corridor and she stood, wondering if they would stop so she could call out to them.

Suddenly, the door opened and she was tossed back into the chair with bruising force. A familiar scent filled her nose, but she didn't have much time to recover or speak as the door was slammed shut again. She could have screamed, so much for a rescuer. Whoever the daft git was, he'd just locked both of them in closet. As she stood again, he took a step back and knocked into her right back down. Now, she was really fuming.

"Just who do you think you are?" she demanded, feeling the person next to her jump. "Didn't your mother ever teach you not to shove people around in small dark rooms."

A familiar chuckle soothed her immediately, and then the voice spoke. "Lily, what are you doing in here?"

Severus ran as fast as he could. If he'd had his wand he would have stopped to curse the four boys that chased after him, but he'd stupidly left it in his bad, which still resided in the classroom of which they had found him. Why did they find so much pleasure in torturing him so? Perhaps their miserable lives were a bit too boring and it was their only source for entertainment.

Of course, if you asked most of the girls in their year, each one had a story about one the Marauders and encounters with them in broom closets or empty classrooms. He felt a surge of jealousy and used the energy to run faster. He took the corner of the corridor a little fast and smacked into the wall with quite a bit of force. Muttering a muggle curse he'd heard Lily use he pushed away and kept running.

The sound of Sirius Black's voice was getting closer and he could hear other footsteps with him. Then he saw it, and thank the Gods that he knew the castle so well. With a relieved sigh he pulled the door open a little more forcefully than he had intended and sent a shelf toppling backwards. Except the sound that came from it and the softness told him it wasn't a shelf at all.

There was no time to worry about that now. He had to hide, and with a shove he closed the door, hearing the comforting lock. Four sets of feet pounded past the door and he sighed, relief washing through him. He had managed to escape, at least for now. And even if they found him later, he would have to chance to get back to the classroom and get his wand.

He took a step back and collided with the soft, talking non-shelf once more. "Just who do you think you are?" it asked with obvious distaste. He recognized that tone, though it had never been directed at him before. "Didn't your mother ever teach you not to shove people around in dark rooms?"

He smirked, thanking the Gods again for trapping him in here with the only person in the school he could stand. "Lily, what are you doing in here?"

"Severus?" Lily was the one to back up this time, and the familiar scent of his after shave or shampoo or whatever it was re-called old memories. "What's going on?"

"Your prat of a boyfriend chased me down."

"He is not my boyfriend!" Lily said, a little louder than she intended. "I have no interest in James I never will."

Severus snorted. "You better tell him that than, I see he still follows you around like a lost puppy. It's not nice to keep people on hooks Lily."

"James isn't on any hook that he didn't create for himself. Besides, I don't have the time for a boyfriend."

He considered saying something rude, something about perhaps she shouldn't waste so much time hiding in closets, but he didn't want to start a fight. It had been over a year since they'd spoken this much, and even though she was scolding him- he took pleasure in it. It had been too long since he'd been scolded by her, too long since he'd heard her voice say anything more than polite hello's in the hall if they happened to pass each other.

He remembered with stinging pain how their friendship had ended, how he had gone to the portrait of the Fat Lady everyday for two weeks after he'd said the unforgivable words. He'd waited for her to come out, but she never did. He'd tried to get her attentions in Potions but she'd blatantly asked for a different partner and their academic relationship ended right along with their friendship. He couldn't believe that he was here with her now.

"What are you doing in here Lily?" he asked again.

"That is none of your business." She took out her wand and conjured a small fire ball so that she could see him and their surroundings better. A gasp slipped from her lips when she looked at him, her hand moving to cover her mouth. "God Sev, you look awful."

"Thank you Evans, that makes me feel great." The sarcasm dripped from his words like acid.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean it to sound so harsh. I just-"

She paused, restraining herself and the hand that desperately wanted to reach up and brush the dark circles away from his eyes. He looked as though he hadn't slept in months, maybe longer. He'd lost weight too, she could tell from the way his robes hung over him. The time without her friend had done damage to her, but not nearly as much as it had done to him. She felt guilt for not hearing him out after that day, but he'd hurt her so terribly she wasn't sure if she could forgive him.

"Look Lil'." He shrugged and backed into the wall, giving her the space he assumed she was desperate for. They weren't even friends, barely speaking so why would she want to be any closer to him than she had to be. "Let's just get out of here and go on our merry ways."

"We can't." Lily spoke softly and quietly. "It's locked from the outside with a charm. There is no way to get out unless someone lets us out."

His stomach dropped and his hands clenched into fists. "If this day was going to get any better…" he grumbled, more to himself than to her.

"What are doing hiding in here anyway." She asked.

"That's none of your business." He answered coolly and bent down to look at the lock. "You're right there is no way to get out. Shit."

She smiled at the muggle curse. "Was it James? Were they chasing you?"

"Yes." He said simply and glanced at the bag sitting at her feet. "Trying to practice the potion for next week? You know if he finds out, you'll be in more trouble than if you just learned along with the rest of us."

"Don't try to tell me that you don't read ahead Sev." She said shooed the ball of light between them so she could still see him.

"There is very little to do but homework when one has no friends." He said, not meaning to incriminate her, but managing to do so anyway.

"Perhaps if you didn't go around calling everyone that cares about you horrid names, your friends wouldn't be forced to flee from you."

He groaned, not in the mood for fighting with her. "I came to apologize Lily. I tried for months to get your attention, get you to see that I was sorry. You wouldn't see me, or have anything to do with me. What was I supposed to do? Potter and Black threatened to…well it doesn't matter what they said. I had to leave you alone, it's what you wanted."

"No it's not!" she stamped her foot. "I wanted my friend back." All the pent up frustration and anger that she'd been bottling up since their fight burst out and she failed to hold back the tears.

Severus watched as the girl he loved, the only friend he had in the world crumbled into a heap of Hogwarts robes and crying female. He hadn't had much experience with crying women, even Lily managed to keep her emotions at bay as much as possible when she was around him. He could count the times that he'd seen her cry since they were children, but he'd never been with her alone. There was always someone there to comfort her.

With a sigh he crawled over to her shaking body and pulled her into his arms. He wasn't sure exactly what he was doing, but he couldn't very well let her cry herself to death. As he stroked her hair and rocked her slightly in his arms he wondered if it was possible for someone to in fact cry themselves to death. He remembered the days after he'd given up going to the Gryffindor Common Room, the night that she'd asked for a different partner.

Yes, he figured it was entirely possible to die from crying. He was sure that he'd almost done it. Not that he would ever admit it to anyone. "Lily, please stop crying."

She sniffled and wiped her nose on the sleeve of her robe. "I'm sorry Sev. I'm so sorry I ignored you and pushed you away. You just hurt me so badly, I never thought anyone could hurt me so badly. I trusted you, cared for you and then it was like you just turned your back on me, on us."

"Us?" he wiped away her tears with his thumbs, holding her face in his calloused hands gently. "Lily, I-"

Then he found himself unable to speak, unable to move and even more unable to breath. Her lips met his and the sensation that tore through his body, into his soul and landed in his heart was almost more than he could stand. Her lips moved against his, begging for some kind of reaction and he realized he was just sitting there like a statue. The girl he loved was kissing him and he wasn't doing anything about it.

With a surge of what he considered passion, he pulled her up into his arms and onto his lap, returning the kiss as best he could manage. They stayed locked together for a few minutes, until finally they had to stop to breathe. She pressed back from him, her small hands forcing his chest away. He watched her eyes glittering in the small light she'd created. There were still traces of tears, but her heaving breathing was from the kiss, not the sobs.

Her chest heaved and he couldn't help looking, unable to tear his eyes away from her. Sure, he'd hugged her a few times over the years but they'd been quick ones, normally followed by embarrassed blushes, or she'd been pulled out of his arms into someone else's. He remembered a few months ago when he watched the Gryffindor Quidditch team beath Slytherin. She'd run down to greet James and he'd pulled her into a hug.

Severus had watched from the stands as Potter had lifted her and twirled her around, joy and love on his face. It had been too much to bear, and even more when James set her on her feet and kissed her quickly. He was sure they had been a couple, but if he really thought about, he rarely saw them together in the halls and when they were she was often bickering with him about one thing or another. It could have been nothing more than a celebratory kiss for the victory. Perhaps they still had a chance after all.

"How long do you think we will be stuck in here for?" she asked, her hands still pressed against his chest. Her breasts no longer bouncing as her breath had slowed.

He wondered how much it would take for her to become breathless again, how long it would be before her heart rate sped up…wondered if it was possible to get her to kiss him again. "I'm not sure." He shrugged and with a long finger, he turned her face back to his. "How long do you want to be in here for?"

"I hate small spaces Sev." She said, biting her bottom lip.

He desperately ached to taste it again, but he'd heard the terror in her voice and pushed the thought aside for the time being. "Hey," he smiled and caught her eyes. "look at me. That's it, now think. We're not in this stuffy broom cupboard. We're somewhere else, big and bright and warm."

"This isn't going to work." She said, but closed her eyes- remembering the game they'd played since they were children. "I'm not a little girl anymore."

"I know that." He said, taking the opportunity of her eyes closed to glance at her breasts again. "Just humor me and try it."

She huffed. "Fine." He watched her take a deep breath and with considerable grace he stood them both up, facing each other. The little ball of light came to hover above their heads like mistletoe.

He watched her face under the glow of the light and reveled in how beautiful she looked, her hair almost on fire and her lips swollen from his. He remembered a few Christmas's ago when they were trapped under the retched plant and forced to kiss. Thankfully, no one had been in the corridor to witness the incident, but he'd taken the memory of her lips with him ever since, and now that he'd had a real proper kiss from Lily Evans, he wasn't sure he could go another day without it. "Where are we Lily?" he asked and clasped her hands in his.

She paused for a moment, a soft smile covering her face. "Standing next to the ocean at my parents beach house. Do you remember that summer Sev?" she asked, and he did. That was the summer he'd promised himself he would tell her that he loved her.

"I do. I remember how happy you looked, your toes in the sand. The sun tinting your skin and bringing out your freckles."

She scrunched up her nose, hating the freckles he spoke of. "Those horrid things are going to be the death of me, I swear."

He chuckled and ran a long finger over each side of her nose. "I like them." Then he brought his hand back to her. "Keep going," he urged. "tell me about the beach."

"There's a path that leads up to the house. My parents are making dinner, you can smell the barbecue. The seagulls are crying over our heads, but we're just standing there, looking at the water and holding hands."

"Like this." He squeezed her fingers with his.

"Yes." She nodded. "And the sun is starting to set. The sky is all sorts of different colors. We watch it go down together, watch the moon rise and then my parents call us in for dinner."

"Are you sure that's all that happens?" he asked, desperately wishing for another chance to kiss her. "Nothing else comes to mind."

"We're walking back up the path to the house, your arms around my shoulders. All of a sudden you stop and pull me into your arms." Severus felt her take a step closer to him, not sure if it was beach Lily, or the real Lily in front of him making the movements. When her arms go around his neck and she pressed her body flush against his, he ceases to care. "You tell me you love me and you kiss me. At first I'm to shocked to kiss back, but you manage to coax me into responding."

"Like this?" he asked and with both hands on her waist, he held her close and dipped his head. Their lips met and he kissed her, trying to imagine the feel of the sand beneath their feet and the smell of the ocean around them.

"Yes." She answers after a moment, her voice back to breathless. "Kiss me again Sev." She whispers, bringing his head down to hers.

He feels her fingers working into his long black hair. It's almost past his shoulders now. Without anyone to impress he'd left it to grow. She didn't seem to mind too terribly and he took comfort in the way her fingers played with it. He felt her hands dance down his neck to his chest and he wondered if she was going to push him away again. Instead she found the clasp of his robes and slid them off his shoulders.

After a minute he had hers' on the floor to. He wasn't sure when the calmness and gentleness turned into hysteria, but before he knew it they were fighting to undo each other's buttons and rid themselves of their shirts. With an appreciative sigh Lily smoothed her hands over his smooth back and somewhat toned chest and stomach. He doubted he as much muscles as Potter, but Quiddatch could do that to a person.

In the past few months he'd found the time that he'd spent with Lily was more productive if he used to do something other than crying. He'd begun working out, just simple little things mostly to keep his mind off her and Potter. To keep his hands busy and away from the cauldron. He'd often fantasized about getting rid of Potter, than perhaps she would forgive him. Now with her in his arms, touching him as if she was afraid he would break if she pressed too hard…it had all been worth it.

With a boldness he wasn't sure he had, he reached around and unhooked her bra. Lily muttered something under her breath and the light above their heads went out. "Don't be shy." He spoke as comforting as he could, not able to control his hands as they moved over her upper body.

He was careful not to touch her breasts yet, giving her time to adjust to the new situation. Things were slowly getting more serious with each minute and he wanted to give her ample time to refuse him if she so wished it. He wouldn't be able to live with himself if she ended up regretting this and hating him all over again. There was no memory he could hold onto to save him from that pain. He heard her sigh in pleasure and felt her small hand wrap around his wrist.

"Touch me Sev." She whispered desperately and guided his hand to her breast.

He managed to keep his gasp at bay, but the pleased moan slipped out and he heard her giggle. With the same boldness as before he brought his lips down and kissed her, then pressed her back into the stone wall. She cried out from the cold, but he swallowed her cry with his kiss and pressed against her more, desperate to feel more of her skin against his. She was goading him along, and if it weren't for her whimpers now and again he wouldn't be able to continue touching her or kissing her.

"Lily, I'll stop if you want me to." He cleared his throat, measuring the words to use. "But, you should know that I don't want to. I've been trying for years to tell you how I feel about you. I love you Lily, I always have. I'm sorry I hurt you and if you just give me the chance I swear I won't do it again."

She nodded and brought his mouth to hers, just as desperate for him as he was for her. "I trust you Severus." She whispered against his mouth. "And I love you too."

Those words was all he needed to hear. "Lily, I want to make love to you. I know this isn't the ideal place, but I swear I will make it up to you. I've waited so long for this I'm not sure if I can wait one more minute."

She nodded and with a flick of her wand she transfigured the chair into a tiny cot. Severus was sure his feet would dangle over the edge, but they didn't have much room to work with. His trembling fingers he managed to undo the buttons of his trousers while she slipped off her skirt. When she stepped out of it she was wearing only her shoes and bright blue lace knickers. A chuckle escaped his lips and she looked up sharply.

"What's so funny?" her arms came up to cover her chests, the look in her eyes telling him she was more embarrassed then angry.

"Nothing, nothing at all." He shook his head. "I just wasn't expecting that color on you."

"Just what we you expecting?" he was sure that if she wasn't covering her bare breasts with her arms, she would be scowling at him, her hands on her hips.

"Well, to be honest…in my fantasies it was always black or nothing."

She blushed, watching as he kicked off his shoes and dropped his pants to the floor. She followed suit and shoved her shoes closer to the pile of their clothing. "How does this work?" she looked between him and the bed. The nice thing about being with Severus was she could say whatever she wanted and knew he wouldn't judge her.

"Well I think we should just go back to kissing and see where that leads us." Severus offered, desperate for the talking part to end. "But I know you like to have a plan before jumping into anything."

Lily shook her head and stepped forward. "I'd prefer to not plan this time Sev, if it's all the same to you." She smiled and was relieved when his lips touched hers.

They stood together for a few moments, kissing and exploring the new skin they had discovered. Then Lily felt herself being lifted in the air, and then being pressed into the surprisingly comfortable mattress of the cot. Severus's weight on top of her didn't turn her off at all, but in fact fueled the fire she was feeling deep within herself. He kissed her neck, nipping and licking wherever he saw fit. She allowed quite moans to escape her lips, careful not to make more noise than she had to.

Now was not the time for a passerby to open the door and discover them. Severus lifted off her than and hooked his fingers at the top of her panties. "Are you sure about this?" he asked, the look in his eyes pleading with her not to say no.

"I'm sure Sev. Make love to me."

"That was all the permission he needed. She felt the lace being dragged down her legs and heard the sound of him ridding himself of the his boxers. She felt her breath hitch as he climbed back onto the cot, careful not to crush her as best he could. "Would you like to be on top?" he asked, but she shook her head.

"No, not this time anyway." She smiled at the expression that crossed his face.

"And just when were you planning on telling me there was going to be a next time?"

"Severus, stop talking please." The tone in her voice told him that she was losing her arousal.

"No need to get upset love." He whispered, trailing his fingers from her neck, down between her breasts and over the inside of her thigh.

When Lily felt his finger slide into her she gasped. He didn't go very far in, but he was the first one to touch her there, other than herself and she marveled at how different it felt to have someone else touch her sensitive skin. He worked her clit with his thumb, watching her chest rise and fall as the arousal she had been losing came back full force. Her moans grew louder and she closed in on her orgasm and he had to kiss her to keep her quiet.

Her hands tangled in his too long hair and she tugged, eliciting a satisfied groan from Severus. She stored that in her sex file for later use and turned her attention back to the sensations his fingers were still creating. She felt the swell of something inside her and recognized it as her climax. It was much more intense than the one she had given herself last night, and as she cried out his name, Severus knew he wouldn't be able to resist being inside her much longer.

She grasped at his shoulders, her breathing haggard and a sheen of sweat over her body. "Are you ready?" he asked, seeing her nod frantically.

With a smirk that could rival Sirius he lifted her knees and spread them, feeling her legs wrap around his waist with a vice like grip. He tickled the outside of her legs lightly, trying to relax her, but she wasn't having any of that. She thrust her hips toward his, a faint whimpering sound coming from her lips. She wanted him inside her, wanted him period and he took a moment to pinch himself to make sure this wasn't a dream.

He may have to very well thank Potter and Black for chasing him into this closet. Little did James know that it had resulted in Severus taking the virginity of the girl that they both loved. As Severus slowly pressed himself into the tight walls of Lily he fought to keep control. Being inside her was the most amazing thing he'd felt all the hours of daydreaming were nothing compared to this. He heard her breath hitch and watched as her face screwed up in pain.

He knew that he was hurting her, and he felt terrible for it. He would have felt worse if it hadn't felt so damn good for him, which made him even guiltier that he was inadvertently enjoying the pain that she was in. Chiding himself for thinking too much, he reached down and laced her fingers between his. "I know it hurts Lil, but once we get through this part I promise it will get better." She nodded and clenched his hand as he slid the rest of the way into her.

Neither of them moved for a moment, Lily trying to adjust to the size of Severus inside her, and Severus doing his best not to cum this soon. He didn't want to break his promise to Lily this soon. Once her face was back in the relaxed, sated position and he felt he could control himself he began to move in and out of her, slowly at first but then carefully increased his speed. As he moved faster, she moaned later. He took pleasure in the fact that she was enjoying it just as he was.

He watched her breasts bounce, unable to look away from her. She opened her eyes and caught him staring. "Geeze Sev, you're just a little perv."

"It's not being a perv when you're inside the girl. It's admiring the beauty before me."

She rolled her eyes but seemed flattered by the comment. "You sure have a way with words Sev." She smiled and pressed a kiss to the inside of his wrist.

"Lily, stop talking." He winked and moved over her so he could kiss her into silence.

Her arms wound around his neck as he finished them off with a few more thrusts. She cried his name into his neck, barely hearing his repeated moans as he rode out his climax. She was sure he was saying her name though. When they had come back to earth, Severus pressed up on his elbows and looked down at her. She looked beautiful. Her hair was messy and spread around her face, her skin flushed and shiny from sweat. Her lips pink and swollen.

"I love you Sev." She whispered, kissing his chin.

The turning of the knob had them both looking up, killing the afterglow they were attempting to enjoy. With a quick mutter of a charm Severus found himself and Lily dressed before the door was even fully opened. They sat up, smiling at the young girl that had opened the door. She looked at the couple, blushed and ran off, apparently old enough to have an idea of what had happened. Lily looked at Severus, wondering if he was as embarrassed as she was.

All he did was smile, take her hand and pull her from the room before the door locked them in again.

Severus stood outside the church, waiting for Lily to exit it. He heard the whoops and cheers of the guests as the bride and groom kissed. Hurt and anger built up inside him, but he did nothing. Just stood there and waiting. A few minutes later the doors opened and a large group of people piled up, Lily and James were last. She was smiling, her skin flushed and her eyes happy. The anger turned to pain and Severus had to hold his breath.

He watched James pull her into his arms and kiss her, then they were down the stairs and into the car. Severus watched the car drive away, cans on strings tinkling after them. He let only one tear fall, and then he stepped back into the trees so the guests would not see him. No doubt her parents would ask him join the party. That could have been him in that car next to Lily, if only he hadn't broken her promise.

If only she understood what it meant for him to be a Death Eater, if she could just listen to him and understand the choices he had to make were the right ones. But she didn't understand and she wouldn't listen. She was Lily Potter now, and he'd lost his chance. The memory of their first time in the potions closet, and of all the other times after that would be all he had left of her, and he would be damned if James was going to take that away too.

With a sharp crack of air he was gone.

a/n: I know the ending is sad, but after all we all knew how it was going to end. please review and let me know if you would like more of this couple from me. i have a few more ideas running around in my mind. thank you for reading!