Hello everyone. I know, we've been kinda dead, but this is to prove we are indeed alive. So, in honor of a quite hilarious old story called "Fridge Notes" that Lucky, or for those of you who don't know that we co-write under this account, luckystars135, wrote we give you this Akatsuki style! There is horrible language in this, just to warn you.

Also, if you're a fan of Bleach, check out "Fridge Notes" on Lucky's old account.

Disclaimer: Naruto belongs to Kishimoto and Viz Media.

Everyone,

Who the fuck ate my dango? Whoever it was gets a brick shoved up their ass sideways!

~ Hidan

XXxxXX

Hidan,

It's near the back, stupid.

~ Kakuzu

XXxxXX

Kakuzu,

Fuck you. You cry for your mom in your sleep. "Oh, mommy, I didn't mean to fail the mission! Wah wah, don't let them hurt me because I'm a little sissy bitch!"

~ Hidan

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Hidan,

Nice. By the way, the stitches holding you together are rotting and I doubt I'll be in the mood to put you back together again. ;)

~ Kakuzu

XXxxXX

Kakuzu,

I. Hate. Your. Very. Existence. You twat-waffle.

~ Hidan

XXxxXX

Hidan,

Does Kakuzu really cry for his mom? I thought Sasori-danna was the only one who did that, un!

~ Deidara

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Deidara,

Go kill yourself with your not-art.

~ Sasori

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Hidan,

Why don't you do the same thing? Oh wait, you can't. Poor you :(

~ Kakuzu

XXxxXX

Kakuzu,

Do me a favor and go find a forest of dicks, roll around in them until you're covered with baby batter, and then jump off the highest mountain you can find. I'll even pay you a penny to do it, you whore!

~ Hidan

XXxxXX

Everyone,

I removed Hidan's last post to protect Tobi's virgin eyes.

Even though I sometimes doubt he can read.

So to make sure Kakuzu-chan gets the message, Hidan wishes for him to find a forest of mysterious things and frolic about until a mysterious substance covers him, and then attempt to fly off a mountain.

~ Zetsu

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Hidan and Black Zetsu,

I can so read, and you guys aren't very nice! You should all talk about your feelings so you can move on and we'll all become best friends! :D

Or else…

~ Tobi

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Tobi,

Sasori-danna and I are already best friends, so you can stop popping out of the toilet whenever I try to shower, un.

~ Deidara

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Deidara,

Stop dotting the 'I' in my name with hearts.

~ Sasori

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Sasori,

Why? Everyone knows you're totally gay together.

~ Hidan

XXxxXX

Hidan,

I hope you accidentally chop the bush pimple you call a dick off during one of your stupid rituals.

~ Sasori

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Sasori,

Someone's in denial.

~ Kakuzu

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Hidan and Kakuzu,

Where in the world did you get that I have any feelings besides grudging tolerance towards Deidara?

~ Sasori

XXxxXX

Sasori,

When you two decided that fighting like an old married couple at 3 in the goddamn morning was a good idea. Stop it, or I will order Kakuzu to sew your mouth and all four of Deidara's shut.

~ Pain

XXxxXX

Sasori,

You and Deidara were married? I was under the impression, despite Deidara's less than warm feelings for me, that we shared a mutual respect. No matter. The fact you didn't invite me speaks the truth.

~ Itachi

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Itachi,

Your eyesight has gotten worse. I would never marry Deidara. Not even if it was the secret to immortality.

~ Sasori

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Sasori,

He really is upset. He hasn't washed his hair in three days.

~ Kisame

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Kisame,

Tell him the wedding was beautiful and that I hope he gets split ends, un!

~ Deidara

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Kisame,

Deidara is an idiot. We're not married and never will be.

~ Sasori

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Sasori,

I heard Narnia is nice this time of year. What do you think?

~ Hidan

XXxxXX

Hidan,

I almost respect you for that. Almost.

~ Kakuzu

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Itachi,

It's okay, I wasn't invited either :(

And there will be consequences for this transgression...

~ Tobi

XXxxXX

Tobi,

You're starting to scare me with all the ellipses. You know you can always talk to me if you're starting to not feel like a good boy.

That, or make fun of Sasori. That will make anyone's troubles go away. Like the fact he's attracted to psycho blondes. See? I feel better already!

~Zetsu

XXxxXX

Zetsu,

Go fuck yourself with a rake.

~ Sasori

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Sasori,

Tried it. Amazing! :P

~ Zetsu

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Zetsu,

Ew.

~ Everyone

XXxxXX

Everyone,

Enough with the sticky notes. As much as I hate to admit it, I miss you all yelling at each other.

~ Konan

That was ridiculous. I'm sorry. Well, review if it pleases you!