Silence says nothing Chapter five

Hi.

So i've been MIA for about a year, but I now have 15 weeks of summer with no exams, so I can catch up on my fics. Here's a teaser for whats about to come up.

All characters belong to S.M

Bella P.O.V

The one moment, the one moment for the first time in a month where I felt like I could finally be getting a fresh start, my memories turn against me. I'm not stupid, I know i'll be tortured for the rest of my life. I know that i'll never be able to truely trust someone again. But, for just this moment, I wish that I could trust him. I wish I could trust him when he said no one is going to hurt me. I wish I could trust him when he tells me that i'm safe, that they're just memories. But I can't, and this breaks what ever is left of my fragile heart. I'll never be okay, and I'm the only one that seems to realise this.

"Bella, sweetheart, it's Esme, can you open your eyes for me, sweet girl?" The sweet, soft, voice of Esme Cullen made me pause. Memories, fucking memories, assult me again. Memories of a five year old me sleeping in till noon one saturday, and my mum trying to wake me up. What I would do to forget the truely selfish woman who brought me into this world, the woman whose put me through all this, the woman I wish was dead.

"I'm fine, Esme" My croaky voice replied to her concern. With great difficulty I lifted my head from Edward's solid chest, pulling away from the comfort of his arms completely and standing. "I just..." I try taking a deep breath, and begin again "I get these memories, these flashbacks, and...and they overwealm me. I'm sorry" Pity flashes briefly through her eyes, so quick anyone else would have missed it. However, this pity only lasted a second before a hard resollve steeled her hazel eyes. Gentle hands grasped my elbows.

"One day, Bella, I'm going to tell you the story of my life before I met Carlisle, one day. But, what I will tell you right now is this, memories, or flashbacks, whatever you want to call them, they will haunt you, they demand to be addressed, but until that happens, they continue until one day you wont be able to handle them anymore. I think that the best option for you would be to speak to Carlisle, one hour everyday. I'm not saying that you can't come to me, or Edward or anyone of us, I would be happy to talk whenever you feel you want to. But I am saying to you that you will need to address these flashbacks, if you don't, you'll never fully recover, a part of you will always be haunted by your past"

"Wont I always be though. I mean, even if I do talk to you or Carlisle, wont my past continue to haunt me" She shook her head gently, her hand running up and down my arms in a comforting motion.

"In some ways. I cant lie to you, Bella, and promise that you'll forget about the events in your life the past two months, and I certainly cant stand here and tell you that they wont have changed you. But the beauty of the past, my sweet one, is that, not only can it weaken us, but make us stronger, too. Bella, please dont let the demons of your past take away on the magnificant future I know you have ahead of you" With that she kissed my forhead, smiled behind me at Edward, and left the room.