Chapter 7: Materia Fusion

Tseng didn't pace his apartment like a wild animal, didn't rant or rage or go through any sort of theatrics. No, that wouldn't be like him, it would go against all of the training he'd endured as a Turk thus far. It would go against the discipline drilled into him as a boy. However, he was angry, very much so. He could admit to it, if only privately within the confines of his mind. It would perhaps be a few years yet before he would be able to truly master the emotions of youth, to perfect the shell of the ShinRa dog. He raked a hand over his head, fingers sliding over smooth black strands, catching and tugging free the band that held his hair.

He knew the best thing to do right now would be to remain calm. To take a breath, a moment, the rest of the evening at that, to cool off. He just needed some time to settle down. A little distance to help smooth the raw edge today's events had carved into his composure. He slipped off his uniform jacket, undid his tie, and moved to stand by his window. The deep black of the night sky was washed away by the over-bright lights of the ShinRa compound. He squinted even though they weren't exactly blinding, not from where he watched them. He could remember gazing in awe upon these lights years ago, still so far from his goal. They didn't seem nearly as fantastic as they had then, nor did they impress him any longer.

They did provide a suitable backdrop to look at while he thought. He would have plenty of time to do so, now that he was for all intents and purposes trapped in Midgar. His lips twisted into a rather sour grimace, one he was anything but pleased to see reflected from the window. It was a bit ironic to be trapped in this city, after he'd made such a choice to come here to begin with. It was the loss of any semblance of freedom that grated on his nerves. Well, that and much more. Letting his eyelids slip shut, today's events began to play through his mind.

He hadn't had any 'episodes', no random flashes of pain, no visions of things he couldn't quite understand. He'd performed the exercise that Dr. Morre had asked of him exactly to the letter. As she'd allowed, he'd taken a look at the first two memories he'd written down for comparison, and had felt pleased at the results. At least when it came to his childhood, as well as regrets, there was no confusion. He would wait to open up his account of his failed mission until his follow up appointment, one which loomed in his near future. He didn't fear going, yet it seemed to hold so much more importance now. Now that he...

He swore an oath under his breath, one from his homeland that would have had his mother furiously scolding him, would have brought such a look of disapproval his way. His situation was frustrating and, if he had to be completely honest, a bit scary. 'Terrifying' was too strong a word to allow. The eyes of ShinRa were upon him.

"The results of both your physical examination, as well as your first psychological evaluation, have been reviewed..."

Veld's voice had been as indecipherable as his eyes. Alone in his superior's office, Tseng had attempted to emulate the man's appearance. Stoic, professional, reserved, watchful. He knew he hadn't been able to keep the anxiety out of his eyes. Veld hadn't commented on it or acknowledged it in any way, instead continuing to speak to his purpose in deep and carefully modulated tones.

"I will be approving the recommendation that you are examined by a Mako specialist..."

The cold that had traced over Tseng's skin then remained even now. A coward he was not, but he was no fool. Those who specialized in Mako research invariably traced up to Hojo. Even as a rookie, the Turk knew too much to think his current position safe.

"All appointments with the specialist will be witnessed by a fellow Turk..." Veld leaned back in his chair a bit, eyes sharp. Perhaps the comment was meant as some small measure of reassurance, some meager demonstration that Tseng wasn't being thrown to the wolves. It did little to settle the rookie, who took a step forward.

"Sir, if I may ask... what do they suspect?" He shook his head slowly, ponytail barely swaying with the motion, and spread his hands palm up before him. His worry was only growing, and though he truly wished to ask what Veld suspected, this question would have to suffice. "They have, given an opinion?"

Veld nodded, the gesture seeming heavy, weighted with some Tseng couldn't quite puzzle together. "Materia Fusion has been suggested. Though the Libra scan could not identify the precise Materia in question, all evidence of your condition point towards Materia as the source."

It was difficult to respond to that statement. Completely sweeping aside Tseng's continued belief that no Materia had been present, professionalism warred with fear for his personal safety. To view this only as a Turk, as he was supposed to, he knew he should be concerned about the possibility that others were practicing and perhaps perfecting Materia Fusion. Mako, the Lifestream, and everything else tied into it were ShinRa property (to ask to President). Proprietary research, secrets, techniques and equipment could have been compromised. Stolen.

Was there a traitor? Would the Turks handle this? Would they be placed in charge of ferreting out the source of this new and dangerous competition? Materia Fusion in the hands of terrorists could clearly not be tolerated. It raised the threat exponentially.

'I've had an unknown Materia used on me?' The thought made him afraid. The rookie didn't begin to tremble, didn't quake or break down. His lips twisted into a frown, brows drawing in with concern, but he held his poker face admirably well for one his age. He supposed, in a way, all of his appointments and exams had given him some preparation for this. Panic fluttered weakly in his chest, though, and he almost opened his mouth to speak. Almost asked a foolish question. Veld's steady gaze upon him kept him silent until he had a moment to rethink, to present the question instead as a statement suited for a Turk.

"Dispell and Esuna will not be authorized for use in removing this, status ailment... until they have determined exactly what this new Materia is capable of." Lead seemed to form in the pit of his stomach as he said it, growing heavier with Veld's confirmation.

Stepping away from his window, moving quietly to his bedroom, Tseng was at a loss. He was not removed from duty, though he was to remain close and available for examination at all times beyond the ones scheduled already. No mission that would take him beyond Midgar's walls would be given to him, and anything that could detain him for more than a day would be denied as well. He was leashed tightly, under scrutiny, and miserable for it. As a rookie, he had so much to prove yet, so much higher in the department to climb. Yes, he'd sought to impress Veld, but this was hardly the way to do so. He could only hope to handle this as competently and professionally as possible... could only hope to use this as a demonstration of skill in adverse situations.

"Not that I will have much to do..." In all honesty, his days would likely be spent watching over the flocks of military recruits, silently observing those who'd marked an interest in SOLDIER in their applications. He could always distinguish himself somewhat if he could find a gem for the program, but that fell more to chance like this. It would lack the impact of a recruit found through personal research and recruiting to Midgar.

He changed his clothes slowly, removing the rest of his uniform and donning the soft loose clothing more suited for sleep. His eyes trailed to the vase by his bedroom window, the flowers from the church. He pushed away the strange sense of scrutiny the flowers seemed to conjure in his mind, the way they made him feel uncomfortable in his own room, focusing instead on Aerith. He would be able to continue his surveillance of her, at least. He would not be set back with that.

End chapter note:

Seriously and truly, this is not abandoned.

Forgive me as I find the voice of this fic again. It's tricky to have such a long break from writing. I struggled with this chapter, came at it from too many angles and drafts and still don't really like what I ended up with. However, I always have to remind myself that every chapter cannot be 'gold', and that it's much better to just get on with it.

SOLDIER recruits, clearly someone will be showing up soon(ish)...