DISCLAIMER: Katekyo Hitman REBORN! belongs to Amano Akira. Any characters that are created by me will be notified and stated.
The Vongola subordinates quickly ushered themselves aside for their lovely boss and her rash Storm Guardian as they walked down the simple yet magnificent hallway. It was just amazing to see such a beautiful woman and the degree of her personality and history to ever step a foot into this horrendous field called the Mafia. She was considered the Vongola's gem, who had so much power in her hands and surprisingly did not abuse it. If she had wished it, then they would have obeyed her every command. She was that powerful. Her aura was so gentle, yet it held so much power, like that of a mother looking over her children.
"Jyuudaime, please let me get the door for you." Gokudera hastily walked faster than his boss and turned the silver knob to her office. "After you." He bowed forward in respect as she walked past him and entered the room after her.
Tsuna smiled at her proclaimed right hand as she entered the room quietly like she always did. Fortunately, he did not see the bittersweet shine that glazed over her soft chocolate brown eyes when she walked past him. When she got to her desk, she noticed that there was less paperwork than usual to her relief but that did not mean she was relieved of her duties as a boss. "So, what must I owe this lack of paperwork for, Gokudera?"
Gokudera nodded at her question and took out the agenda that was hidden away in his pocket as well as his glasses. After he placed them on, he flipped through the pages to the current day, which he carefully announced what was the day's plans. "For today, there is nothing serious to do except to read over the paperwork and sign or nullify whichever one you find appropriate. They are stacked right in front of you on top of your desk. Later, in the afternoon, you have your meeting with Kozato. As for the rest of the day, you're free to do whatever you want until six o'clock. By then, you will have a briefing by Reborn and go with Yamamoto." After he was done, he closed the book in his hand and noticed that his boss was looking at him oddly. "Jyuudaime?"
Tsuna was in her little world by the time Gokudera opened that book. She was just amazed how those pair of glasses defined Gokudera's features even more; she was not saying that he was not handsome before. Ever since they were younger, she has always found him growing handsome by the day along with the rest of her Guardians with the exception of Chrome. Chrome was just becoming more beautiful. Ah, everyone around her was either beautiful or handsome, even Reborn returned to his adult form. She sighed. How was she ever going to compete with them…?
"Jyuudaime?"
Tsuna snapped out of her daze and realized how close Gokudera's face was to hers. "HIEEE!" She pushed back on her desk, forgetting that her chair was on wheels and accidentally fell off her chair and onto the ground, landing on her bottom. "Ow…." Her face expressed pain but her cheeks were slightly touched with a color of faint blush.
Gokudera rushed over to her side and quickly placed the chair in its former state but farther away just in case. He then bended down to her level, making sure she was alright. "I'm so sorry, Jyuudaime. I didn't think I would scare you that much. Are you alright?" He lent out hand to help her up, which she gladly accepted.
Tsuna remembered the first time something like this happened and Gokudera actually went ballistic since he thought someone rigged the chair and whipped out his dynamite, almost destroying her then new office back then. She laughed a bit, catching Gokudera's attention. "Thank you, Gokudera. I'm actually okay, but I guess Dame-Tsuna still exists." After she stood up, she noticed that Gokudera was looking at her with a confused face. "What is it? Is there something on my face?"
Gokudera shook his head and nervously chuckled. "No, it's just that… Ah, never mind. Anyway, what is that made you distracted?"
Tsuna blushed at the memory and was going to say it was nothing, but seeing that face on her Guardian made it really hard to. "Just thinking that I'm not as beautiful or handsome like everyone is around me." She let out a weak laugh.
Gokudera placed his hand on her head and patted her. "Jyuudaime, no one is more beautiful than you, I promise you that." He let out a chuckle as Tsuna smiled at his comment. "Well, I'll be going now. I'll be back to pick you up for the meeting with Kozato."
Tsuna smiled to herself, making her feel better, and then proceeded to her mahogany desk. "Thank you, Gokudera-kun." She was shuffling through the papers, so Gokudera took it a chance to leave. "But if you don't mind, then you stay with me…" But he was already out the door and gone from her sight.
She sighed as she placed herself into the chair and pulled near to her desk. She made a face as she grimaced at the stack of papers piled on her desk. Even if it was less, this was still a lot. Did she really have to do all of this…? Instead of doing it right away, she just spun in her chair, a bit more careful than usual due to her latest fall, curled up in a fetal position. "Why are guys so dense…?" She stopped spinning and placed the side of her head on her knees as she tugged at her caramel brown locks of hair. She let out a low growl of frustration and submitted to the ominous aura that was leaking off of the paperwork.
As each minute passed by, Tsuna could feel herself become more mentally tired. She groaned as the thought of love entered her mind once again. What was wrong with her? Why did she keep on beating around the bush with them? If a person had to think about, it was not that hard to figure out that she had fallen for them. They each saved her life many times. They each risked their lives for her. They were always there to make her smile, blush, and overall, make her day a bit more joyous.
Tsuna laughed as she felt her face reddening from her precious memories with them as well as tears forming and on verge of falling when she thought of them. A small weak smile formed on her lips soon as the tears trailed down her cheeks. She leaned back against her chair, letting the tears fall on their own while she kept her eyes closed. She already knew why she was hesitant. Why would people think of her if she had told them that they were not the only person she had fallen for? It was hard to choose "the one". No one was higher than the other. Sure, they were all different, but each held a special place in her heart. Immediately, a forbidden question swiftly entered her mind. What if she was not Vongola Decimo? What would have happened then? They would not have even noticed her if she walked past them in plain sight. That was the truth indeed.
Tsuna then quietly cried to herself as she finished the piles of paperwork, being careful not to stain them with her tears. After she was done, she patiently waited for Gokudera to come get her for her meeting with Enma. She quickly wiped her tears away with a tissue but could not get rid of the evidence of her crying. Unknown to her, someone was watching through the small crack in the door. The person could not believe that their boss was crying but was a bit more shocked that the boss had not notice their presence. They quickly went away when they realized that the Storm Guardian was getting closer.
Gokudera knocked on the door a couple of times, signaling his presence, before entering. "Jyuudaime, it's time for your meeting…" His words trailed off when he noticed that his beloved boss was crying. He could feel himself being filled with anger and murderous intent. "Jyuudaime, where's the bastard that made you cry? I'll blow him up for you." Instinctively, his dynamite was out in his hands and ready to be used at any given moment at their handler's command.
Tsuna softly laughed at Gokudera's reactions and cupped her cheek as she leaned on her arm for support on the table. "Even if you did that, you'll end up killing yourself, Gokudera. And I wouldn't want to lose you."
Gokudera hesitantly placed his dynamite where they belonged but gave his boss a confused look. "I didn't catch what you said, Jyuudaime."
Tsuna walked past him and patted him on the shoulder. "It's alright. You don't need to know." She walked to door and leaned against it while she waited for her Storm Guardian to snap out of his puzzlement. As they both walked down the hall to the meeting location, she was in deep in thought on whether she should go with her plan and say those words to him. It couldn't hurt, right? She needed to see how he would react and if his reaction was the one she wanted.
Once they reached the meeting room, Tsuna tried to mentally calm herself. It was now or never.
"We're here, Jyuudaime. I hope you have another enjoyable meeting." Gokudera smiled at her as he placed a hand on the door knob. He knew that his boss looked forward to these meetings with Shimon head. The two were close friends and neither would betray the other, especially after that event occurred. On the plus side, she always seemed to be energized after talking to the redhead.
"I love you, Hayato."
Gokudera blinked a couple times as he let go the door knob and looked at her. Suddenly, he took her by the wrist and led her away from the door and cornered her against the wall. His frame was above hers with his gaze directly at her eyes.
She was surprised to have his face so close to her, making her blush like a madman. Sadly, it could be seen underneath the poorly lit hallway. However, his next words directed at her made a part of her heart break into pieces. If one could hear it, it would have been like glass vase dropping from a second story balcony.
"Jyuudaime, please refrain from throwing that phrase around senselessly. I do not want people to misunderstand our relationship and might use that against you. Who knows what would have happened if people heard about this? It would ruin you and people will target me as a way to get you as your main weakness even though it's a fake one." His grip on her wrist tightened.
The color in her complexion was drained away but she placed a large smile on her face, shocking Gokudera a bit. "You pass, Gokudera." She gently took her wrist out of Gokudera's grasp as the warmth was taken away. Another piece within her broke.
Gokudera blinked a couple of times and looked at her blankly. He did not understand it. This was his boss, after all. Those words, especially in that phrase, are not supposed to be thrown around like that, unless… "Can you please repeat that?"
Tsuna had a slight hurt expression on her face but replaced it with a mocking pout. "Are you deaf, Gokudera? My test, I wanted to see how you would react under the certain conditions and you passed with flying colors. I'm so happy to know that I have such a Guardian that always looking out for their boss." Tsuna patted him on the shoulder and guided herself to the meeting room. "I'll see you around then." With a simple wave, her figure had gone behind the door.
Before the silver haired male could say anything, Tsuna was already gone from his sight. He could somewhat understand why she would say such words to him in order to test him, but he did not understand the way she looked at him expectedly when he looked down at her.
He rarely got so close to her and those were one of those times. Those eyes did not have gentle shine, but rather, something alluring like the soft smell that was coming off of her body… Gokudera blushed at the thought of his name being used like that and covered his face with his hand as he walked back to the library. Was he finally seeing his boss as a woman or something? He has always seen her as a woman, so why was he having these kinds of thoughts now? The blush spread to his ears, unknown to the fact that something was stirring within him.
Tsuna gently closed the door behind her and walked over to where Enma was, but on the opposite couch facing the armchair he was in. She laid down on the couch and cried into the pillow she randomly picked from the pile on the couch as she held it tightly in her arms. It hurt so much. She cried her feelings out into the pillow. She thought Gokudera had figured her out after all these years together. He was the closest one to her, being her right-hand man and all, knowing all her likes and dislikes, as well as her quirks. So why couldn't he see how she felt about him? If he had replied like she expected him to, then she could be done with it and live her life with Gokudera. But sadly, things do not always go her way. She knew that he saw her as a woman, but she was his boss, so it was likely that he never touched upon the subject of loving her since it would "taint" his vision of her.
Enma got up from his chair and gently knelt down on one knee beside her, rubbing her back in circles to soothe her trembling.
"I-I'm sorry for coming in l-like this…"
"It's alright. I understand." Enma waited for her to calm down before taking the pillow away from her swollen crying face.
Tsuna looked at Enma and started crying again. Her hands were at her eyes, trying to get rid of the falling tears, hiding her face from Enma. "Why…? Why can't they see that I love them? Why do they always see me as Vongola Decimo or something, but not as Sawada Tsunayoshi?" She removed her hands from her face and looked at Enma. "Why are you the only one who see me as me?"
Gently, Enma helped Tsuna sit up on the couch as he sat next to her, lifting her chin to meet his crimson orbs. "It's alright to fall in love. There's nothing wrong with it. It's perfectly normal." He then leaned forward and took her hand. He allowed his face to be cupped her hand, his eyes filled with content as he looked at her warmly. "If I was them, I would be scared to fall for you, scared that you may have loved another. But as for me, I have already decided to fall for you." He looked at her with a warm smile.
"B-But… Doesn't it hurt to hear me say these things… about loving them…?" Tsuna was surprised to get another smile out of Enma.
"Tsuna, love works in mysterious ways. People may call indecisive for picking so many to love, but I find nothing wrong with that. That's who you are: the sky that has watched over them for years, so you know who they are. After all, you're always there for them as they for you. As for me, why wouldn't it hurt?"
He noticed the regretful look in her face, but instead of telling her that it was not her fault, he just wiped a tear from her eye.
"But I said that, you wouldn't let me near you since you would be scared to hurt me even more. Like I told you, I have already decided to fall for you. Even if you love someone else, I just want to be able to have a place by your side. You're someone I hold very precious to my heart and I don't think I can bear the pain of leaving you forever. Your happiness is enough for me." He then got off the couch and carefully laid her on her side, placing her head on a new pillow to rest on. He knelt down and kissed her forehead, seeing that she was tired. "Don't mind me, just sleep for now. I know that you're tired."
"T-Thank you for telling me how you feel."
Enma smiled and combed his fingers through her locks as she wandered in and out of sleep. "I would have told you sooner or later. I guessed not was the best time."
"Do you regret it… loving me?" She tried her best to keep her sense awake. She had to hear his response.
Enma was slightly surprised, but his gaze on her softened. He gave her another sweet smile, reassuring her. "No and I never will. I love you after all."
Tsuna finally let a smile form on her lips as she sank into the depths of sleep. She was hesitant to sleep but with Enma by her side, she soon drifted off.
After seeing that she had fallen asleep, Enma took off his coat and placed it over her so she would not get cold. He walked over to the window and gazed at the beautiful scenery. It was just sunset. The sun's rays were bouncing off the edges of the mountains, lightly tinting the landscape below with a beautiful shade of orange, like the ones of Tsuna's eyes.
Out the corner of his eyes, he spotted the Storm Guardian looking confused while anger and frustration slowly boiled within him. He closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. Despite the irritating feeling inside, there was nothing he could do to relieve her of her pain. This was her battle, not his. He had already promised himself that he would never hurt Tsuna, not after gaining her friendship when he thought her family had betrayed his. Even if he wanted to punch sense into almost every one of her Guardians, he would not do that.
He looked over his shoulder and smiled at the sight of her body rising and lowering with every breath she took. Even if he had to end up as the best friend who could not get the girl in the end, he would still not mind. He was just genuinely happy that she had let him by her side. A place by her side meant that he had a place in her big heart and that was all he needed; nothing less and nothing more. If not, he was scared what would become of him if he dared dream farther: true heartache that is what would result of it.
EXTRA NOTES:
If you have noticed, this was formerly known as Some Things Were Never Meant to Be. I'm sorry for the long wait by the way. One message to you all: testing is always a pain to deal with especially with AP Testing near finals. Anyway, I really wanted to finish Some Things Were Never Meant to Be, but I'm rewriting it around and tweaking it since I want to implement some ideas as well as create more of a atmosphere between the characters instead of card board talking to card board, if you know what I mean.
For those who haven't read Some Things Were Never Meant to Be, please don't read it since you would be spoiled by it for the chapters to come. I will do my best to continue updating weekly since it's summer vacation so please be honest with you have something to say.
If there's any confusion with Tsuna's relationship with her Guardians and Enma, I will clarify them here. Tsuna cares for her Guardians deeply, some more than others, but they can't see it since they're scared of the chance of her rejecting them. I mean, who would not fall in love with someone who had helped you so many times when you were in danger or fallen down?
As for Tsuna and Enma, the Shimon incident has occurred and the two are trying to mend things back together. Enma has fallen for Tsuna ever since she saved him and his family. He knows that Tsuna does not love him like her Guardians, since he had confessed to her before and she had gently rejected him since she was confused with her feelings since they may have been mixed with pity, considering his background story.
It's been ten years since everything happened, so there may be some OOCness since I'm trying to portray them as older folk and how they have matured, seeing how Enma is more confident and Gokudera is more mellow.
Also the thing about Tsuna, she really can't choose one person. Like how it is stated about Gokudera and her, if he reacted like she expected him to, then she would do everything she could to be with him. No, she does not love him more than rest, it's just that Tsuna has been dealing with this problem for awhile and it has taken a toll on her, which has not shown physically, yet. Think about it, the person you like has always been next to you and you do drop hints that you like this person, but this person still does not get it. That's how Tsuna feels. She knows that love is very complex, but she's at the point of breaking as seen here. Enma is managing to help her get back up each time.