A/N- Okay like everyone I was pretty cut up at the latest episode. I wrote this almost directly after it just as a form of therapy. This is an alternate ending.

Things change, things stay the same

The wind rippled through the long grass that surrounded the usually frozen body of water that was Starks Pond. The sun was warm enough to provide a soft glow of heat and the residents of South Park walked around without the usual bulk of heavy jackets, scarves and hats. The small redneck, mountain town hadn't seen such good weather in a long time.

To a small boy of ten years old sitting on an old log by the pond it didn't make any difference. Everything had turned to shit around him recently. Even the long stems of grass, the flowers and the wildlife all resembled different shaped turds. He sat cross legged on the log picking at the grass stems until he was convinced that he could feel actual shit on his fingertips and grimaced.

Why was this happening to him? He had a few bursts of emo-ness when bad things had happened to him, but he had always figured that this was only because he genuinely cared about things and was scared of loosing them. But now he just feel numb and unimpressed by the world, by everything and everyone in it.

Stan especially hated the new house that he, his Mum and Shelley had moved to. Stan had wanted to go with his Dad at first but then he saw how ridiculous he was being and he knew that he couldn't put up with it. This was saying a lot as Stan's father had done a lot of ridiculous things in his life. Stan had been pretty patient with him up until now. In many ways he had felt like the adult who needed to supervise him rather than the other way around but now he just couldn't take it anymore. Randy suddenly morphing into a pathetic man child poser trying to keep up with the young kids was one of the shittiest things he had ever seen.

Not to say that his mother was doing much better. She seemed to have aged ten years in the last ten days. Randy had always been the most fun to hang around but Sharon had been the more sensible one, the one that Stan could actually rely on to act like a real adult. But now she spent most of the time avoiding him, doing meaningless chores or staring blankly at the T.V. somehow immune to all the shitty programming.

He lay back on the log and through his head back letting out a deep sigh. Up until yesterday he still had his friends, they were the only aspect of his life that wasn't shit and even though they were doing shitty things he genuinely wanted to be with them. But then yesterday changed everything.

Out in the local dinner sitting by himself he ordered cup after cup of black coffee unable to even contemplate eating something so shitty on the menu. He complained to the waitress about the food and about everything really. But remembering his friends made him feel that much better, even to the point where he was considering actually eating something. He remembered feeling sorry that they were all sick and he couldn't go play with them. Now it was all different, they could all go to hell now.

On top of everything that had happened his super best friend had lied to him. The perpetually self righteous and sickeningly moral Kyle Broflovski had lied to him so that he could spend more time with Cartman? Voluntarily? The thought turned Stan's head. He glanced over at lake and tried not to feel sick as it's blue waters turned into a runny brown colour. He clamped his eyes shut. He always thought that he and Kyle could get through anything together. Even thought they were only ten there had been so much that they had gone through. But what was it all for? What was the point of anything if Kyle was going to turn into such a turd. He was better off without him, Stan tried to tell himself angry welling up inside of him.

He titled his head back and arched himself over the log turning his view of the world upside down. It still didn't look any better from this angle. Just the same old shit that was growing more and more thick around him every fucking day.

Then there was a rustle in the long grass and Stan sat back up into a sitting position, moving so fast he nearly fell off the log all together. Had someone been watching him?

He peered off into the distance and could see that a small figure a bit thinner than his own was there completely still as if waiting for something. Stan tried to peer through his shitty outlook to get a better look at his stalker but he didn't need too. He'd recognize that green hat anywhere. Funny that now amongst all the shit the green hat still bright and clear. Stan had always liked that hat.

Kyle's small figure came into focus for a moment and Stan stared at him. His friend was no more than twenty meters away from him but he seemed so very far away. Why had he come here? It wasn't to see him, he'd probably just thought about coming down here and had changed his mind as soon as he saw Stan. Now he was sneaking away hoping that Stan wouldn't see him. Stan felt his anger surge further.

Kyle took a deep breath and slowly turned away. Stan watched his retreating back with his slumped over shoulders. The brightness of his hair and clothing a sharp contrast with the surrounding crappy scenery. It was then that a new feeling rose in Stan taking over his anger. A lonely feeling that was so overwhelming that it caused him to do something utterly and completely stupid.

He got to his feet and called out at the top of his lungs. "Kyle! Wait!"

For a terrifying moment Stan was sure that Kyle was going to keep walking away from him and ignore him forever. His steps remained strong and determined despite his slouched over posture.

"Please Kyle," Stan cried out just as his super best friend was about to disappear. "I-" but he didn't know what he could say. Didn't know how to put into words that he needed his super best friend now more than he had ever done in his whole life.

Kyle's steps slowed to the point where he stopped again. A cool breeze picked up running through Stan's hair as he watched his friend. He wanted to run over to him but at the same time he knew that he couldn't.

Kyle was watching him over his shoulder his curly hair falling over his eyes. Stan realized then that he had to be the one who got up and chased him to make the effort. He got up from the log and strode over almost breaking into a jog, his lungs tight, the clear air not helping his asthma.

"Kyle," he said finally catching him up to him his breath short. He was only a foot away from him now. He could see him clearly, see him standing out so sharply from the monotonous brown background that was around him.

"Stan?" Kyle asked.

Suddenly Stan wasn't sure what to say. How could let him know that Kyle was the one thing that really mattered to him, the one person that could make everything all right. He stared at him for a moment trying to figure it all out but the words were caught in his throat.

Kyle sighed disappointed. "Whatever dude,"

"Kyle!" Stan cried out grabbing his friend by the shoulder and pulling him back towards him.

"Jesus Christ Dude!" Kyle said brushing him off. "What is wrong with you?"

Stan's eyes flickered towards the grass. "I don't know," he said. He turned to look up at Kyle. "But please don't give up on me."

Kyle's stern frown melted into a smile as Stan fell into his super best friend's arms sobbing and sniffling. Kyle held him back, his grip firm but soft and he smelt of the shampoo and soap that he always did and not like the shit of everything else.

Kyle pushed back Stan's hair and smoothed his forehead. "I'm not going to give up on you." He said softly.