So this is random, to say the least.
It's also kind of my Tumblr Brain Twin, Arvie's fault. Yeah.

Anyway, I've sort of gone AU crazy as of late. Personally I blame the hiatus. But yeah, this will have more chapters and smut to justify the M rating. You know, once I think of how to carry this on and stuff...

So yeah. Reviews would be nice :)

And I own nothing. Clearly.

A Little Bit of Fun

Kurt made his way into the house, shopping bags in each hand. He'd just come back from a bit of retail therapy, followed by a coffee as he got his hair done. A shopping trip always felt good when it wasn't his own money that he was spending – not that he ever spent his own money. When he'd been living at home his Daddy paid for everything, and now he was a kept man with the wealthy and formidable Dave Karofsky. Kurt Hummel had never had to work a day in his life, and liked it that way.

He put his shopping bags down in the hallway, sure that one of the maids would sort it out, and made his way into the study.

"I'm home!" he called as he opened the door. "I do hope you're not still talking business, David."

Dave got up from behind the desk and walked over to Kurt. "We're just finishing up, baby. I've just hired a new guy and I'm bringing him up to speed. Do you mind keeping him company for a while? I've got to go make a few phone calls."

"I don't mind at all, Honey-bear," Kurt said sweetly.

Dave kissed him quickly on the lips before leaving the room, and Kurt decided to give the new guy a quick once over. He was short and looked kind of nervous, but he was incredibly hot – curly black hair, greenish hazel eyes, pretty mouth, and what looked like a nice body under his shirt and jeans. Kurt smirked and strolled over to him.

"So what's your name, new guy?" he asked.

The new guy stuttered awkwardly. "Blaine. Erm... Blaine Anderson."

"Nice to meet you, Blaine," said Kurt, with a pleasant smile. "I'm Kurt Hummel. I'm David's... well, I'm the male equivalent of a mistress. He doesn't like the term 'boyfriend', it sounds far too informal."

"I didn't even know Karofsky was gay," Blaine said before he could stop himself.

Kurt giggled, leaning against the large mahogany desk. "Pretty much everyone knows. But no one dares mention it in a negative way. Not unless they actually want to get shot in the kneecaps."

Kurt's smile got a little less sweet as Blaine visibly shuddered.

"So," Kurt continued, beginning to enjoy himself. "What has my David got you doing for him? Dealing his gear? Pimping his girls? You're rather pleasing on the eye, is he planning on selling you?"

Blaine spluttered. "No, no, no! I'm just going to be doing some deliveries for him."

"Shame really," Kurt said with an arched eyebrow. "Cute guy like you... those dirty old businessmen would pay hundreds just for one night with you and that pretty mouth of yours."

Blaine was blushing furiously, and Kurt was really, really enjoying himself. He decided to have a little fun with the new guy. It had been so long since he'd had someone new to play with.

"Just so you know," he said with a flirty smile. "David is very protective of me. If he thought that you were trying anything funny with me he would not be happy."

"But... but I wasn't," said Blaine, suddenly looking quite scared.

"But you will," Kurt insisted, with an evil smirk. "There's no two ways about it. I'm incredibly fuckable and one day you just won't be able to help yourself. Now, I know it seems a little egotistical of me to assume that your gay, but to be honest your sexuality doesn't matter when it comes to me. Do you really think David was into guys before I came along?"

Blaine clearly didn't know what to say, and was looking awkwardly at his feet.

"Are you?" Kurt asked. "Gay, I mean."

"Yeah," Blaine nodded.

Kurt grinned. "That's a shame. I was looking forward to sexually confusing you. But at least now the chances of us actually fucking have doubled."

He chuckled as Blaine spluttered again. He sat up on the desk, crossing his legs and leaning on his hands. He looked Blaine up and down, like a predator eyeing up its prey – well, the new guy did look rather delicious.

"If you think I'm flirting with you, you shouldn't take it personally," he said. "I flirt with everyone. But just keep in mind that David loves me more than anything in the world; more than his entire self-made criminal empire and all of his surviving family members combined. I'm his most prized possession and he doesn't like other people touching his things."

"Right..." Blaine said slowly.

"But what my David doesn't know can't hurt him," Kurt continued. "For example, there was this lovely guy called Sam who was dealing for David about a year ago. Blonde, smoking hot body, mouth-to-face ratio was a little off, but other than that he was all kinds of gorgeous. Being only human, I flirted with him, one thing led to another and before I knew it we were screwing on a semi-regular basis up in one of the guest rooms."

"Oh..."

"But then he got all clingy, wanted me to leave David and run away with him, which was completely absurd. I mean, as if I would give up all of this – all the money and the security I have with David – for him. So I told David that Sam was taking advantage of poor little me, and obviously he wasn't happy at all. To say Sam was fired would be an understatement. They still haven't found his body actually..."

"Wait – what?"

"...but it turned up just great for me. I got a month's worth of above-average sex when David was too busy for me and, to make me feel better, he bought me this amazing Marc Jacobs jacket and a gorgeous Vivienne Westwood shirt to go with it. It was awesome."

Blaine was staring wide-eyed at Kurt, clearly terrified, and Kurt couldn't help but laugh. He gracefully got off the table and walked over to Blaine, resting his hands on his waist. Blaine flinched, but was too scared to stop him.

"The point I'm trying to make," Kurt practically purred. "Is that you really should stay on my good side, honey. I mean, even if David was to walk in right now and see me within kissing distance of you, it would be you getting in trouble. It would you getting tied to a chair and tortured for hours before finally getting shot in the head, and it would be me getting a nice pair of shoes or something."

Kurt held Blaine closer, planting a soft, electrifying kiss on the corner of his mouth. Blaine shivered and sighed, his lips puckering and asking for more, even though he knew that he really shouldn't. Their faces were incredibly close, so close that their noses were touching

"The truth of the matter is," Kurt whispered. "That you're hot and I'm extremely fuckable, and one day we're inevitably going to end up having rough, meaningless, animal sex. And as long as you're nice to me, David need never find out and you won't have to get any of your fingers broken. Everybody wins."

Kurt walked away before Blaine could think of a response, leaving him slightly dazed. He nearly had a heart attack when Dave suddenly came back into room, but tried his very best to look casual. Kurt was able to look as if nothing had happened quite easily. He did it all the time.

"Why don't you go upstairs until me and Anderson are done here, baby?" said Dave. "We've still got a little business to talk about."

"Well, don't take too long, sweetie," Kurt pouted innocently. "I want to show you the stuff I bought. I got this pair of red skinny jeans that make my ass look magnificent. You don't want to miss out."

Dave chuckled, kissing Kurt on the lips for a little longer this time, and patting him on butt to make him giggle. Kurt smiled, before turning his sweet smile in Blaine's direction.

"Nice to meet you, Blaine," he said pleasantly. "See you around maybe."

He turned on his heel and left the room, a triumphant smirk on his face. This was going to be fun.

Hope you enjoyed the sordid little world I've created so far, Humble Readers :)
I'll try and update as fast as I can!

xxx