His mind hurts. A coin has just been drilled though his brain, but he can still feel the other mans screams in his mind. Had had to make a terrible choice. Shaw would have killed Magn- Eric, had he let him go. Charles had been forced to listen as his death screams had echoed in his mind. Had felt the coin slide butter smooth through his brain – can still feel it. Dimly, he realizes that Moira is screaming at him in worry, which is ridiculous. Charles is fine. Shaw is the one who is gonegonegone. His mind had gone from white pain to nothing. Charles is vaguely surprised when his cheek lands on the floor and he catches himself gazing up at the wreck of the submarine sideways. There's a dead man in there, he thinks hazily, ignoring the thump of Moira's knees as she lands heavily next to him. I helped him die. The submarine explodes outwards and the two groups walk wearily back. And then, Shaw is floated out through the hole, and he feels more then hears Moira's fear. Blearily, he opens his eyes. Magne- Eric, God damn it. Eric is floating. Dizzily, Charles has to congratulate his friends control. Closes his eyes though, when the body is dropped unceremoniously to the ground. He had heard that man, felt his last thoughts. He can still feel Moira slapping at his face. He realizes she wants him to stand. That is damn irritating, actually. After everything he has to do, she wants him to stand and walk out there to face the man who drove a coin through his brain? Charles would much rather stay here and go to sleep, pretend that the last couple of hours didn't happen, go back. But then, he remembers Eric's rage. Remembers the innocent people on those ships.

Charles pulls himself up on two legs, and staggers out of the plane. He has to shield his brain against the poisonous green pride he feels curling towards him. Vaguely, he hears Eric tell him to check the ships – feels like crying. His mind is splitting in half, and Eric wants him to read people miles away? But is eric, so he raises two fingers to his forehead and attempts to push out.

Charles can't think against the pain. Can't push past it. Eric takes his silence as acquiescence though, and carries on with his speech.

Hatred. Hatred and fear and pain. Viciousness and revenge. It's a badawfulevil cycle. Charles never wanted this. Belatedly, he realizes that the others had joined only at Eric's offer of vengeance, not his of acceptance. Charles had only wanted to help people – that girl who cried, because every time she screamed lightning stuck the buildings, or the little boy who wandered around with a cane because he was afraid to open his eyes. There are people out there in the world who need his help. Not this message of anger and hate against humans who could have been parents or friends. Eric doesn't realize that sometimes people don't have choices in life. Doesn't realize that even good innocent people do bad things. They aren't black and white. The world isn't black and white. Mutants sure as hell aren't black and white. It isn't a question of with or against. Does Eric not realize that by continuing this cycle, he is only starting what killed his mother again?

Charles doesn't want this. Doesn't want any of this. So, he lowers every single shield he has and then he draws on every source of power he has, and blasts the humans minds. Wipes everything, leaves only the impression that the Russians fired on their own ships, and the submarine and plane were actually just the remains of an incredibly brave fight between the two. Neither one, it was tragic. Someone is screaming in the background, which is irritating because no one realizes how tricky this is, rewriting something like this. Then he pushes out further, further and he's going to die it hurts so much but it's okay, because he's going to make sure people stay safe. He reaches the white house, and then Russia, travels along their brainwaves and paths. Feels them forget that mutants even existed. He saves Moira though, even if he can barely feel her against all the other minds out there – feels she deserves to remember what happened. And then, all of a sudden, it's done. Charles hovers out there for a couple of seconds and its feels like eternity, before the screaming he hears begins to perpetrate his mind again. Then he is slammed back into his body and the painbuthisisn' fry his body. He realizes that he was the one screaming, feels it in his throat muscles and hears it in the minds of the others, which he just can't take. He's crying now, full on sobbing, but he can't let know his pain, can't let them know how bloody tired he is because they need him to be the adult one last time and he can do this for them so he erects one last pitiful shield and just….lies down. Crumples, really. Falls to the ground and looks up at the sun. And then Eric is there. But his eyes are . Charles needs to make it better.

"okay" He croaks, watching as Eric eyes widen.

"its okay. They won't hurt you. Safe" that's it, Eric needs to understand. Needs to understand that he's finally safe from everyone.

"Mutants – they won't…. remember" he's coughing up blood now, which is a little disconcerting.

"no one… is going…..to….die anymore"

There. That's it. He's done. He smiles once at Eric before he begins to slip into that blessed darkness. But then he feels lips press heavyhot to his and his eyes fly open once. Eric is crying, he realizes with a jolt. But he's also kissing Charles. Charles can just catch the frantic whispers at his mind – stay with me, don't go, im sorry, oh god, I need youlove you, staystaystay.

Thirty four year old and one kiss richer Charles Xavier laughs at the man he loves and asks through heavy lips if he really thought Charles was going to leave him behind.