Author: Lauren.

Rating: Rated M, just in case.

Character/Pairing: Haley James, Dean Winchester, Nathan Scott, Brooke Davis, Lucas Scott, probably Sam Winchester. Haley/Dean, Haley/Nathan, for right now.

Summary: He offers to drive her home but she refuses him because she knows what happens in that car. Chevy, Impala right? Her Daddy always loved those.

Disclaimer: SPN belongs to Eric, OTH to Mark. Although I love both, they're not mine unfortunately.

Author's Note: This came to me last night, and I figured that I'd never really done a 'young' Haley and Dean so why not. It kinda starts off as a Haley character study but I've got a second chapter already in mind so let me know and I'll get to work. Hope you enjoy, reviews are loveeee.

Haley James is afraid of feeling.

She doesn't realise it until she's much older of course. But it first occurs to her when she's sixteen and her best friend falls in love with Peyton Sawyer.

It's destructive and messy and even though she's looking in on it all, she can see how badly it all pans out. Especially with the added components of Brooke and the pregnancy scare and Nikki and Charleston. She forgot how many components there were.

Which is why it's so unexpected (take your breath away unexpected) when she looks up at Nathan and realises that she likes him. 'Likes' him. Because he lets her in, like no one else ever has, not even Lucas and he makes her feel scared, but in a good way. Which she didn't think was possible, considering how clowns always make her feel scared and that's never, ever good.

But god he pisses her off. Makes her want to smash things, attack inanimate objects just for existing, just for being in the presence of her anger. She's never been one to pepper her speech with expletives or raise her voice on the phone or curl up and cry but with Nathan apparently she is.

She even fights with Lucas. Really, Lucas? I don't like the person you're becoming. It comes out before she can stop it and she doesn't even regret it. At least not until much later, when Keith's voice travels down the airwaves and sirens ring in her head like they'll never end.

He asks the impossible question and it seems stupid. Ludicrous even because who is this boy, this boy who's never known love and yet he's promising her everything? And yet somehow...

She can't say no, she could never say no (or she could, back when she was bookworm Haley James.) But now the world seems to twist so she says yes and smiles and kisses him and their wet skin meshes together like glue. She'd like to stay there forever.

But she doesn't, because she's the kind of girl who keeps moving. She can't stand still, she fidgets and worries and oh God, Lucas finds out. And Dan has a heart attack and Deb suddenly hates her. When did everything get so complicated? She forgets how much she cries, waiting for Nathan to come home. She can't do this. She can't. She won't. She won't?

Conquering stage fright is like climbing a mountain or sky diving or giving birth. It seems impossible, physically, emotionally, logistically, full on impossible until you do it and it's over so quickly that you wonder if it ever happened. Okay so maybe labour isn't like that but you get the point.

Haley messes up. Like she's never messed up before. But wow, for a first time screw up she really does herself justice because apparently, when Haley fucks up, she does it on a big scale. She kisses Chris. She abandons Nathan. She lets the world think she's with Chris. She brands Nathan so deeply with betrayal that when she sees him, months later, she can still see the fire in his eyes, still smell the burning.

The beach party is a disaster. She bothered to dress up, wear this stupid crop top thing that Brooke said would make Nathan's head spin and he didn't even fucking show. Didn't even fucking show. (Not that she blames him, but it's easier to hide behind being pissed than admit that if she'd have seen him she wouldn't have known what to say.) Lucas tries to console her, wraps his arms around her shoulders and tells her stories about friends with benefits. And she laughs in all the right places and lies her head on his shoulder and stares into the darkening sky and tries to feel like (look like) everything isn't falling apart.

She blows off her friends, tells Brooke she's going for a walk and ends up in a bar. It's dark and smells like everything stale and wrong with this world so she orders a shot of tequila and a beer with the fake ID Brooke made her for her bachelorette. The name's Trudy Gill.

"Trudy?"

She can feel the laugh in his voice so she turns with an irritated tilt in her head "Don't tell me..." she pauses, feigning thought "James Dean?" He of the leather jacket, jeans and big dusty boots smiles and takes a pull of his Corona.

"Rebel without a cause," he shrugs as if he can relate and she thinks she probably can to.

"Or a clue," she slams the empty shot glass against the bar. It's so strong she can feel it pulsating beneath her eyelids and she wondered why she thought drinking would help. Now it's just going to be that much more difficult to get home.

"You a big drinker?" he asks and there's that laugh again, hidden in his tone and the sparkle of his eyes. This time he's the one with his head on one side, watching her, measuring her. She can tell even though her eye are closed, Jesus what is this?

"Not so much... But lately I guess I've needed it." Haley James never needs anything or anyone, does she? Somehow she ends up spilling her guts to him (almost literally, that tequila really is messing with her stomach.) How she was always afraid of putting herself out there, and when she did... When she did Nathan said he was done. And stupidly, defiantly, so not Haley, she did it anyway.

He's a surprisingly good listener, she was expecting a couple of wise cracks or even a perverted comment or maybe an eye roll but he just sits there, seemingly taking it all in. She waits, waits for his judgement (everyone judges, she was sixteen, what kind of idiot thinks getting married is a good idea at sixteen?)

"So Nathan is clearly a jackass."

She laughs, even though he's wrong and she's wrong and Nathan is anything but. She laughs until she cries, until her sides hurt and her brain spins. He offers to drive her home but she refuses him because she knows what happens in that car. Chevy, Impala right? Her Daddy always loved those.

"Come on Trudy," he calls after her in the night, and she turns back to find he's been driving along right behind her for the past couple of blocks.

She pauses, watches his hopeful expression in the moonlight. "Fine. But you keep your hands to yourself." It's an uneasy truce but he nods and she climbs in beside him. The night breeze is cool on her face and she bends her fingers, lets them flutter along the push of the wind. It could be that night, with Brooke passed out on the backseat and a mass of curly hair driving. She could be innocent again, before Nathan and Chris and the tour. She could be blameless again. That'd be nice.

"This is me," she reaches for the handle, turns back, hesitates "I guess I'll see you around?"

"Yeah," he nods, looks down, drums a finger on the steering wheel, serious for a moment but a grin tugs at the corners of his mouth "See you in detention."

She laughs, without wanting to. The door creaks and she stands on the sidewalk as he pulls away, watches the Impala disappear down the street. Willing herself to go inside, she stays, waits, asks herself what she'd do if he came back. Shakes her head for being so stupid, honey blonde hair flying and hurries inside.