AN: Ok kids, this was meant to be a one-shot. However, a couple people asked for more, and thanks to them the plot bunnies started breeding under my bed (I seriously need to vacuum more often). So I present: "I Once Had a Vulcan Pen Pal," now with 101% MOAR.

(And pay no attention to the timeline. It is delicious and made of fudge.)

/AN

Spock waited until his shift was done, because he was patient that way and because he wanted to think this through. He wasn't about to inform the entire bridge that he'd once pretended to be a Vulcan female named T'Prend—he wasn't sure what the Humans might do with information like that but he was sure it wouldn't be good. But if, on the other hand, he waited too long—a couple weeks, a month—to plan his reveal, it would feel wrong. Awkward. Captain, you know how, a while ago, you mentioned that you were pen pals with T'Prend? Well, that was my alias….

No.

He could let it go, and never bring up the topic again. That seemed like the best option; it would result in the least awkwardness all around.

As he entered his quarters he pulled his communicator off his belt to check for messages. He paused, staring at the screen.

As a properly trained Vulcan, he had perfect recall. With a bit of meditation, he could probably recite each email exchanged between T'Prend and Hercule, word-for-word. But an odd niggling feeling persisted, one similar to 'nostalgia,' as the Humans had described it to him. He wanted to see the emails.

It had taken a bit of ingenuity to call up his archived alias mail account from his student days. The last time he had checked it was more than eight years ago, right after he had turned down the Vulcan Science Academy's offer and decided to join Starfleet. It had been a silly impulse, logging onto the neglected account to look for a new communication from his faceless friend, but he had hoped for one anyway. Maybe even, he had barely let himself think it, but maybe he would be able to meet this 'Hercule.' Maybe he would have a friend on that strange, new, alien planet after all.

But no. Hercule had stopped responding more than a year before that. Spock had checked the account daily, then every couple of days, and finally weekly. After he sent a third message with no reply, he reached the logical conclusion; Hercule was not going to answer.

And then Spock realized that he could not let this matter go. He would have to reveal T'Prend's identity to the captain, if only to find out why he had stopped responding.

The captain was rather tight-lipped about his pre-Enterprise days. However, Spock had received the impression that his childhood had been less than idyllic. So maybe (he felt a silly and illogical welling of hope in his heart), just maybe, Hercule had not lost interest. Maybe he had been forced by circumstances beyond his control to stop his communications. Spock knew that the captain had joined Starfleet a few years later than most cadets—what had he been doing with his life before that?

Spock felt relieved that he had decided to reveal T'Pring's identity. Now he just had to choose how he would go about it.

XXXXXX

They were on the bridge when it happened. The captain, for once, was sitting properly in his chair. Spock suspected that the slouching had begun to bother his back, but knew the poor posture would invariably make a reappearance if he commented on its absence.

The captain fidgeted with his communicator for a few seconds, then flipped it open with a nonchalance which indicated that he did not expect to see any new communiqués. The last time he had checked it was only 44.60 minutes ago, after all.

The captain glanced at the screen and started to close the comm. Then he blinked. His brow furrowed, and he brought the screen closer to his face, as though having trouble reading it. He let out a quick bark of disbelieving laughter and started poking around on the screen.

A few of the bridge crew had looked up at the sound, but they had enough experience with Kirk to know that he was probably just trying to draw their attention to himself. Once that was accomplished, he would then attempt to initiate a conversation with whoever was looking at him. They quickly looked back to the terminal screens at their stations.

Therefore, Spock was the only witness to the expressions of consternation, amusement, and then, oddly enough, annoyance that flashed across the captain's face.

"Ok," he said, voice pitched to include the entire bridge. Heads dutifully turned to focus on Kirk. "Who sent me this?" He waved the comm at his audience.

"Sent you what, Captain?" Uhura asked coolly.

"A good evening to you, sir-slash-madam," Kirk read sarcastically. "I am hoping this message finds you well, as I hope to soon count you amongst my dearest of friends. I am T'Prend, once treasurer of Vulcan and more recently, in my later years, honorary visor to Prince Horatio of Nigeria. I am needing your assistance in moving a large SUM of money off of Terra, as it has come to my attention that my life is in grave DANGER. In the past three Terran months two of Prince Horatio's other advisors have died under mysterious circumstances; one involving a stingray, the other, an aardvark. I fear that I am next and my prince agrees as he has gifted me with the SUM of 3.5 MILLION CREDITS and bade me to flee the planet. If you believe you can assist me in removing my wealth in secrecy (it cannot be done under my name as the ASSASSINS are undoubtedly WATCHING), I will REWARD you with FORTY PERCENT of the SUM. Your to trust, T'Prend."

Once Kirk was finished, he looked back up at the bridge crew with accusing eyes. Spock prevented himself from sighing. He should have known better than to assume the Human would notice the similarities between T'Prend's new letter and the first one Hercule had sent all those years ago. Perhaps he had been too subtle. Perhaps the captain had completely forgotten the particulars of the email. Spock could not imagine what it must be like to have a memory that fleeting and inexact.

Chekov spoke up. "Sir?" Kirk nodded at him. "I receiwed ze same message." At that, two other people nodded, and many others turned back to their stations, checking for new messages.

The entire staff of the bridge confirmed it; they had all gotten the same email. Kirk gestured for Spock to follow him as he strode into the conference room.

XXXXXX

"I want to say this is a joke, and it probably is, but the more I think about it the more I realize that it's probably not the joke I think it is." He paused in his pacing around the room. "Does that make sense?"

Spock raised an eyebrow.

Kirk resumed pacing. "Ok, look. When I was telling the bridge crew about T'Prend, I kinda glossed over the details for how we met. Long story short; only T'Prend would have the knowledge needed to send that sort of email." Kirk stared at Spock's unmoving form. "Ok, maybe that was too short. I…when I was a teenager I was an idiot. Well, more of an idiot." He amended. "I hacked into the electronic files of some learning institution on Vulcan just to prove to myself that I could. And then, I thought…well, I wouldn't say thought, but I felt that, what was the use of doing all of that when no one else would ever know that I could? So I sent all the Vulcans at that learning institution a scam email." The captain seemed inordinately embarrassed by this admission. "I just thought, y'know, that it'd be funny." He laughed a bit. "Still kind of is. But anyway, one of the students emailed me back through an alias called T'Prend. And we…actually got along pretty well."

Kirk took a deep breath and plopped himself in a nearby chair. "And I don't know what to do with this new email. The timing's too perfect. I'd say it had to be a crewmember's prank, but it really does seem like it came from T'Prend. But T'Prend doesn't know my real name, and she didn't seem the type to take up email scams for a living. Anyway, didn't that message sound like a joke to you? The part about an aardvark…real scam messages might sound like excerpts from soap operas, but they take themselves seriously. This one…not so much. But it…seriously, Spock. This makes no sense. The timing and recipient list point to a crewmember, the content to T'Pring. " Kirk rubbed his face with his hands.

It was messily and inexpertly reasoned, but Spock did have to admit that the captain had drawn out the two most salient points. "You have identified two sets which the sender might belong to—the crew of the Enterprise and T'Prend. Each explains some, but not all, of the observed details, correct?" Kirk nodded. "Therefore, what conclusion would you have to draw in order to explain all of the details?" Kirk frowned in confusion. Spock resisted the urge to sigh. He had to admit that, had their positions been reversed, he probably would be doing only slightly better than the captain. After all, what Vulcan would expect his scam-artist Human pen pal to be put in command of the Federation's flagship?

"The only reasonable conclusion is that the two sets intersect." Spock supplied.

Kirk blinked. "T'Prend is on the Enterprise?" He paused. "T'Prend is part of the crew of the Enterprise? But she's a Vulcan. Well, I thought she was a Vulcan. But if she wasn't…."

Spock held up a hand to stop the captain's rambling. "T'Prend was a Vulcan. However, there is another assumption which you should be questioning."

"How would you…" Kirk trailed off as he stared at Spock with wide eyes. "No…. No. What?"

Spock raised an eyebrow.

"Ok, just to get this straight…you are the only Vulcan on this ship, right?" Spock nodded, enjoying the incredulous expressions which were contorting the captain's face.

"You are T'Prend." Kirk said cautiously.

"And you are Hercule." Spock said back.

Kirk continued to stare for a moment, then was taken over by paroxysms of laughter.

XXXXXX

Spock followed the captain out of the conference room and back onto the bridge.

"So Captain, do you know who sent the message?" Sulu asked, looking at Kirk curiously.

"Spock looked into it. It's nothing to worry about." Kirk replied, avoiding Spock's gaze while he said it.

XXXXXX

When Spock checked his messages before meditation, he found a new one from his captain.

Spock,

I just hacked into my old scam mail account and I guess I have some explaining to do. The last message T'Prend got from me was sent two days before I graduated from high school. It was also sent two days before I ran away from Riverside. I'm sorry I never told you what happened, and I feel really guilty about it now. The only thing I can say is that my life was really different after Riverside, and talking to my high school pen pal just never crossed my mind.

Ok, that's a lie. I thought about T'Prend a lot, but I couldn't think of what I would say. Real life had never really entered into our conversations. Would I pretend that everything was normal? That I had a steady job, or was going to college, or still had another year of high school left? Or would I tell my Vulcan pen pal, the one applying to some prestigious academy, that I had given up on getting a degree and was living like a hobo?

You know what the funny thing it? You ran away from home, too. You turned down higher education on Vulcan to come slum it here on Earth.

I guess we would have had more in common than I thought.

Hercule