Disclaimer: I do not own the Teen Titans

Warning: It's not M because there's not really anything graphic. It's T because it does have a lot of swearing and heavy themes.

Author's Note: This is a rewrite of a one shot I created in 2007. It's a story that's very near and dear to my heart (too personal almost) and I felt like I needed to do it some justice.

He used me,

Manipulated me,

Mocked me,

Held me,

Touched me,

Then he broke me.

A different girl, a different tact, but with me it was always the same routine. He knew my weaknesses, my flaws, he knew me inside out. After all he had been my best friend.

He touched me where no other had before and held me when I was falling into darkness. Then he broke me in half, tore me into pieces, claiming it was love.

He killed me, and I let him.

You could say that he was a merciless tease.

His words were sweet poison to my ears, and I loved it.

"Honey, Love, Dear, Baby." Countless endearments whispered in my ear as we fucked, endearments forgotten as soon as we left the bed and hit the streets. Then I became nothing; then it became the blonde with the big tits, the girl down the street, the new cocktail waitress, his secretary, any girl that was lucky enough to make his acquaintance.

He was a man of little shame.

Yes, sweet nothings were his style.

But so was fucking.

He and lust had an agreement.

He supplied the cunning words, and lust supplied the quick fuck.

But his words weren't only sweet poison, but a deadly pleasure.

One touch, that's all it took and I was moaning, screaming as he tore through all of my moral barriers. Obeying each request, each selfish demand, never thinking that there was another way to have sex, a softer way, and one that was actually done for love.

He scratched and pawed my surface while his eyes penetrated my soul.

I was his whore.

He left me once or twice.

Claiming that I was bad for him, that I hurt him, that I was destroying him.

Then he came back, "I always loved you baby, didn't mean to leave you, a mistake, I need you."

Only to leave again.

His words were death.

I cried.

Cried till there was no more feeling inside, just an empty space in my mind and in my heart. Just meaningless words I repeated time after time, "I don't need him, I'm better off without him, he doesn't love me never will."

Only to crawl right back to him.

I remained his whore, his little cunt.

He had a girlfriend. I remained alone.

We fucked; we were always good at fucking.

We fucked till we were sore.

Fucked till he had to meet his girlfriend.

Then I was nothing again.

"Baby, I'm sorry things have to be this way." I nod my head accepting the tender kiss he gives to my hand, " I love you. Do you know that?" I nod, believing his venom, "Yes, I love you too."

The car pulls to a stop, the ride is over, and I am back to nonexistent. "No one can know about us, too much risk. Too much drama."

Yes, yes of course no one should know, what would they think anyway?

I've become the sideshow, the girl who will put out when the other, the real one does not want to.

Cunt.

I am ready to leave him.

Decided.

It is time to let go.

Let the past be the past.

Move on.

"Don't leave, you don't want to leave, you love me."

I stay.

"You are addicted." A wicked little grin, the same grin he used when he admitted the sick twisted truth, "I love to hurt you."

A slap across the face,
a sharp jab in the stomach,
a firm grasp on the wrist.

Yet I beg for him, yearn for him.

While denying the fact that I need him.

I breathe him.

Feel him, smell him, smother him.

And it dawns on me.

My drug.

My sick deformed obsession.

My hell.

He was my poison,

My love,

And I was addicted, like a whore on heroine.