Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy or Zack… drat.
A/N: After writing my "50 Things I Am Not Allowed to Do" by Reno, I wrote one for Zack! This story is kind of a continuation of Reno's, so that's why Tseng's office is on fire…
Fluffy the bunny makes a cameo in this! Fluffy is from my fanfic "How to Survive a Horror Story".
Also, I think Zack has ADHD. Can't you just see that? He's so hyper and cute!
50 Things I Am Not Allowed to Do
By Zack
Angeal got this brilliant idea from Tseng to make me write this list. Apparently Tseng is making Reno do it as well. Yeah, like that's gonna do anything. Just because Reno set his office on fire… Man, I wanted to see that, too, but Angeal said I couldn't. Kunsel videotaped it for me, though, so I'll just go see it after I finish this stupid list.
1. I am not allowed to watch Reno set things on fire.
2. I am not allowed to help Reno set things on fire.
3. I'm not allowed to talk to girls while I'm on a mission.
4. I'm not allowed to go on dates when I'm supposed to be on a mission.
5. I am not allowed to use, touch, borrow, or paint Masamune because Angeal would probably prefer me to be alive.
6. I am not allowed to mock Genesis when he quotes Loveless for long periods of time.
7. I'm also not allowed to suggest that Loveless be turned into a musical.
8. I'm not allowed to say I'm going on a mission and go talk to Aerith instead.
9. I'm also not allowed to blow off training with the infantrymen to talk to Aerith either…
10 I'm not allowed to call Cloud a chocobo head.
11. Especially not when Reno is around because he isn't allowed to call Cloud a chocobo head either.
12. I'm not allowed to get a puppy because Angeal says he doesn't need two.
13. I'm not allowed to go to bars because I am underage.
14. I am really not allowed to take Cloud to bars.
15. I am not allowed to sing karaoke, especially if Reno is involved.
16. I am not allowed to send every embarrassing picture I have of Cloud to Tifa.
17. And I am not allowed to beat Cloud over the head when he sends every embarrassing picture he has of me to Aerith in order to get revenge.
18. I am not allowed to go on missions with Reno.
19. Or drive Reno's chopper.
20. I can never EVER come home past curfew or Angeal will slaughter me in training the next day.
21. I am not allowed to prank call Director Lazard because, despite what I think, he will recognize my voice.
22. I am not allowed to use my epic SOLDIER skills to pwn the entire militia and then laugh in their faces, no matter how totally fun it may be.
23. I am not allowed to start a rock band in the Shinra building with my mad air guitar skills.
24. I am not allowed to tackle-hug Angeal without warning.
25. Or Sephiroth. (Why would I do that! I'd get killed!)
26. I am not allowed to sing on stealth missions.
27. For my own good and the good of others, I am not allowed to "accidentally" forget to take my ADHD medicine.
28. I am not allowed to set a giant inflatable bounce house up in the lobby of the Shinra building.
29. I am not allowed to see how many squats I can do before I pass out.
30. I am not allowed to give all of the Thirds the day off.
31. I am not allowed to come to work in my swimsuit, whether the secretaries like it or not.
32. Especially if my swimsuit is a speedo.
33. I am not allowed to stop writing this list because I just asked Angeal and he says I can't.
34. I am not allowed to chase chocobos.
35. Or cute girls.
36. I am not allowed to parachute off the Shinra building.
37. I am not allowed to steal Rude's glasses.
38. I am not allowed to use materia if I don't know what it does or if I do know what it does and am planning on using it for malicious intent.
39. I am not allowed to replace Genesis's Bahamut summons materia with one that summons Fluffy the bunny.
40. I am not allowed to make fun of Angeal when he turns this old.
41. I am not allowed to put pink bows in Sephiroth's hair. As good as it looks on Aerith, he probably won't like it.
42. I am not allowed to use my SOLDIER powers to spy on people, because they really don't appreciate it. I did get some nice CDs of Genesis singing in the shower, though…
43. I am not, under any circumstances, allowed to drink coffee.
44. I'm not allowed to wear hot pink leotards to work, even if Reno did say that they are SOLDIER's new uniform.
45. I am not allowed to purposefully misspell Lazard's name so that it spells "Lizard" instead.
46. Especially not on official documents.
47. I am not allowed to join Sephiroth's fan club.
48. I am not allowed to put up fake posters saying that Gackt is performing at a certain address that may or may not be Genesis's house.
49. If I am to appear in Kingdom Hearts, I am not allowed to go on a date with any Disney Princesses.
50. No one said anything about Aqua, though…
You know, when I gave Angeal this list, he just started laughing. I wonder why; I was totally serious about all of them. Well, maybe not the one about the speedo. We all know that only Genesis goes around wearing those.