Author's Note: Have a little one shot (maybe?) for your amusement, something that was birthed from lack of sleep and having a song stuck in my head…and let's not forget my mindless love for these boys. Inspired by the song "Checkmarks" by The Academy Is…

Warnings: Angst, mentions of smut, slash of the Sam and Dean variety.

Summary: It never meant anything to Dean but it meant so much to Sam. So what happens when the shit hits the fan and Sam tells Dean about how he feels, knowing Dean doesn't feel the same. Things change and no amount of apologies can fix what Sam's become.

Disclaimer: I don't own them, wish I did.

Checkmarks

Dean honestly never meant for things to turn out this way. To him, it was just sex, just a way to fill the emptiness that was his life ever since his dad sacrificed himself to save Dean. Sam knew this but that didn't stop him from feeling, didn't stop him from falling in love with his brother.

It was the ultimate taboo but anyone with eyes must've seen it coming. You keep two people together long enough and someone's views on love were bound to change. All Sam had ever known was Dean, all he had ever trusted and felt safe with…everything that defined Sam Winchester revolved around one other person.

Dean.

So when Dean came home one night, just on that side of tipsy but not quite drunk and pushed Sam down on the bed, Sam didn't fight it. Actually, if he remembered correctly he begged for Dean as the man ravished every inch of his body, putting his sinful mouth to good use.

Sam realizes now that he should have pushed Dean away. Sam had been in love with his brother the second he knew what love was and he knew that Dean wouldn't ever feel the same. At the time it seemed like a good idea, Sam would submerge himself in the affections of his brother and wake up alone in the bed the next morning, Dean already in the shower or out to get breakfast. They never talked about it but it happened again and again.

It was wrong; God Sam knew it was wrong. Dean was using Sam like he used every other person he picked up at bars, Sam was nothing more than a hunting partner and a series of random sexual intercourses lined up in a row, almost like one night stands that kept recurring like a severe case of déjà vu.

But then it started to hurt. The ache deep in Sam's chest when Dean would bring home easy girls and screw them in the same bed he screwed Sam in the night before. Sam pretended it didn't bother him though. He always put on a brave face, took a deep breath and smiled when he re-entered the room the next morning.

Then, one night, everything reached it's limit within Sam Winchester. The younger of the two lost his cool when he walked in on his brother in an intense make-out session with a busty blonde girl Dean had no doubt picked up at a bar while Sam busted his ass doing research on a case. He had even picked up burgers for himself and his brother at a local burger joint.

But when he entered the room he felt it snap. That invisible thread that held together his sanity gave way to the tidal wave of emotions that had been threatening to over-take him for months now.

"That's, it!" Sam screamed and slammed his food down on the table. The girl, whatever her name was, pulled away from Dean like he'd suddenly developed AIDS.

"I should go," she said and scampered out the door, muttering an apology to Sam as she passed.

"What the fuck Sam?" Dean growled and stood, glaring at his little brother.

"Oh hut up, Dean! I am so sick of this!" Sam roared, anger and underlying hints of emotional turmoil leaking through his voice.

"What are you talking about man? What's your problem?"

"What's my problem? What's my problem! You wanna know what my problem is Dean?"

Dean took a half-step back, never having seen so much rage in his little brother, especially not directed at him. "Yeah…?" Dean ventured.

"My problem is you! The way you grin, the way you laugh, the way you fuck me, the way you can turn around and fuck someone else! My problem is we've had sex dozens of times and you think it doesn't mean anything! You never bothered to ask me how I felt! You never thought, for one second, that maybe I left you fuck me till I can't sit because I'm hopelessly in love with you! I" Sam couldn't stop the words from pouring out, just as he couldn't stop the tears from blurring his vision. He wiped his eyes furiously and saw Dean's stunned expression.

"Sam….I-" Dean began, but am cut him off, holding up a hand.

"Unless the next words out of your mouth are 'I love you' I really don't want to hear it."

With that Sam turned and walked out of the hotel, ignoring Dean as he called Sam back, his voice falling on deaf ears.

Sam was done.

He'd been filled with it for too long and he just couldn't do it anymore.

He left Dean and he didn't look back.

End?