The rose hit the floor silently, only a small cloud of desert dust billowing up to mark it's presence on the ground. The rose's petals were curled and darkened as it slowly died, but yet, it was the most alive rose I had found anywhere. And I had searched everywhere. The mailbox stood ominously, though bright and colourful in appearance, the meaning behind it was the saddest tale to tell. I knelt down before it and allowed my trembling fingers to trace the petals of the rose, and then let them slide to the edges of the box, along the wording that graced its front.
'I forgive you.'
Gulping back the tears that so adamantly formed in my eyes, I nodded.
"I do forgive you, you know," I mumbled, eyes to the floor. My lower lip quivered and I decided I just couldn't hold it in any longer. The tears dripped down my face and onto the dying rose, and onto the dirt, leaving dark patches amongst the dust. "You stupid idiot," I chuckled darkly, sitting down properly, crossing my legs. "Why'd you do it?" Of course there was no answer. I didn't expect one. My rhetorical question would remain unanswered. Even by me.
"You had a life ahead of you. I didn't. You didn't need to save me. You had SO much more to give." The wind from the north picked up and whistled across the desert, making the rose tremble and fall to one side. I picked it up and stroked its petals. "I see you die every day. In my head." The rose glistened with my tears. "I hate that. I just want to forget." I lay the rose back down. "But…if I forget…I'll forget how brave you were. You were so goddamn brave. But then again, you always were the bravest of the both of us." I laughed softly again and shuffled closer, leaning the side of my head against the mail box and gazing at the sun that was slowly setting on the horizon. "I'm alone now. I think that it's best. I don't think I could ever bring myself to join another group. One, I'd be a total downer on everyone, and two…no one could ever live up to being anything close to what you were to me." It hurt to say it, but it was true. From now on, till the day I die, I would be alone forever. The "lone" Killjoys, as they called them. The one's who had lost everything, and everyone. "You were all I had left." I sniffed and let more tears fall, the back of my throat throbbing and making me bend over to let it out as much as I could.
"I kept your gun, as you requested when we talked about what would happen should one of us "heaven forbid" die. It's difficult carrying around two, but hey, I'll manage. Also, your pin is now pride of place on my jacket, see." I held out the place where it resided on my jacket, the emblem on the pin a reminder of my former ally. Crawling back to the front of the mail box, I knelt up and kissed the word 'love'. "You know the ironic thing about all this? The fact that I never got to tell you how much I really loved you. I was going to that night! How coincidental that you should be shot that afternoon. Someone up there," I motioned at the sky, "really doesn't like me. I guess they have every right. I mean, they did point out in their goddamn Bible that they hate people like me. But you. You didn't hate me."
"The thing is, Frank, is that, I can't go on alone. Oh don't worry, I'm not going to kill myself because of it, no. I'm going to find the fucking bastard Draculoid who took you away from me and I will not rest until he's laying dead on the ground where he fucking belongs." My fists clenched. "But…it hurts to move without you walking beside me. It hurts to wake up in the morning and not see your face smiling at me, and telling me how funny I looked when I slept. It hurts to think that you're never, ever coming back and that I have to face that on my own. No shoulder to cry on, no other friend to pick me up when I fall because I miss you so much. How am I going to DO THIS?" I slammed my fists against the box, making it shudder, and the hollow metal to reverberate. "I want you to come home, Frankie. I need you. I need you so much right now. That's another ironic thing. The fact that I need you to be here to help me to get over the fact that you died. Isn't that just the funniest thing?" I hit the box again before sliding down until I fell to the ground, my face buried in the dirt. The rose was now in my hand again too, and the thorns drove into my palm, seeping tiny spots of blood onto their points. It hurt. A lot. But I didn't care. Sitting up, I wiped my eyes. I stood up. I straightened out my jacket, and pulled on my gloves.
"Do you remember the last thing you said to me? You told me to be strong. As you lay dying, you told me to be strong. That was my last moment of weakness. I'm going to be strong for you Frank. Now, I may fall along the way, but I WILL get the fuck back up and keep running until I find the Draculoid that took you from me. I will watch the light leave it's eyes and I will watch as it goes down to the depths of hell where it belongs. I will avenge you. And it will NOT be pretty. So this is it. My last goodbye. From now on it's me and the desert. Me and myself. Though, I can't shake the feeling that you're still here. Watching over me. You said you would. And I think you kept your promise. That'll keep me going the most. I'm going to make you proud, Frankie. I'm going to keep on living, and I'm going to fight until I die. I love you so much." I picked up the rose and placed it into the mail box. Then I pulled out my drying Sharpie and walked around to the side of the mail box.
'One more day with you is all I want.'
"I just want to tell you that I love you. That's all. If only you'd stuck around long enough to hear me say it. I'll miss you, Frankie. And I'll never forget you." And with that, I picked myself up, and walked away from that mail box.
And I never looked back.