A/N: REVIEW FOR IT FEEDS MY ETERNAL ENGINE OF CREATION~!
DIDDYA MISS ME?!
(Edit:) Finishing this up at two in the bloody morning...can't sleep...yet...must finish...
...for the FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANS!
Been three years, but I'm back! Sorry about my health issues keeping me away. FOR AWHILE. I won't bore you with the details but suffice it to say I'll likely be getting surgery by the end of the year for my heart condition, if not sooner than that. Considering the last time I had surgery I wasn't able to eat or FUNCTION properly for awhile, which lead to MORE surgery.
...see where I'm going with this?
Good news, I've somewhat got a handle on this unruly body of mine, at least in part. My health may have kept me away, but hey, at least it allowed the manga to get ahead of me again. Now, between all those fillers and the like, I've got plenty to work with!
And YES, there is a plan for Punk Hazard and Dressrosa in the future.
Not to mention *SPOILER* Naruto meeting Sabo. They're gonna have a lot to talk about.
I also feel the need to address something: Naruto's been OUT COLD for a sizable amount of time. After all, though he may have "inherited" Ace's power, he also possess a glaring weakness that manifests itself in the form of his illness when he overexerts himself. He's deadly, but in a prolonged fight, he ain't the best.
Naturally, Lufy and co. would want to find a way to get this treated, sooooo...
So for now, consider this an interlude as I warm up the 'ol writing engine and find my notes. Worry not, I've got a TON of stuff written, all the way up to Wano. It just so happens that the Punk Hazard arc might prove to be a bit shorter than most. Yes, its short, and I'm sorry for that, but my health woes and my chaotic work schedule only affords me so much time to write.
Also, timeskip ahoy for all parties concerned!
...ONTO THE PUNK HAZARD ARC!
"Law...you're a right and proper bastard, ya know that?"
"Oh really? Just for that snide remark? You get to wait an entire week."
...I swear, I 'm going to charbroil you one of these days. Buuuuuut right now?"
"Oi. Naruto. Why're you looking at me like that? OI! Don't you dare! You're not going to...?!"
"I'LL SETTLE FOR STRANGLING YOU! DON'T YOU DARE RUN AWAY FROM ME! C'MERE, YA LITTLE SHIT!"
~Burning Will and the Surgeon of Death.
Swap (Interlude)
...finally waking up!"
In that moment, Naruto almost wished he hadn't. His head spun like a raft in a storm-tossed sea and his vision wasn't much better. His sole solace came in the form of the soft, verdant grass of the deck against his back. Hmm. Someone had propped his head up with a pillow. A salt-grey sky teeming with snow spun before him as he forced his eyes open, interposed upon the ever-stoic rigging of the Thousand Sunny. Hooved hands floated before his vision-no, scratch that. Four hooves? He must've been seeing things, because he surely didn't remember Chopper having that many arms, and it definitely didn't snow underwater.
Wait.
Snow?
"What in the-YEOW!"
Grunting, the blond tried-and failed!-to force himself upright. He made it all of an inch before his body gave out on him; every muscle in his being clamped down at once and he valiantly fought down a shout. Rather than his atypical strength, he found himself scarcely able to move at all. As if his body had simply shackled itself and tossed away the key. What in blazes? Just how long had he been out?
"Ugh, did anyone get the number of that bus?" the young man groaned, shaking his head. "And why is it...snowing...?"
His words trailed off as he beheld the small army of faces arrayed before him.
Nami and Chopper chief amongst them.
"Why the long faces?" he croaked.
The pair exchanged a long look.
"He's all yours, Nami."
A beat of silence.
"Wait, what-
And then:
WHACK.
"YEOW!"
Burning Will recoiled with a soft hiss to clutch at his head as the Navigator promptly clobbered him upside the head with her Clima-Tact, and in the doing raised a smoldering red welt against his head. Granted, the impact didn't really hurt so much as it did sting-NOT THE POINT! Why was the damn sea-witch clobbering him of all people?!
"What the hell did I do this time, oi?!"
Rather than lash out a second time, Nami took him by surprise yet again. Discarding her weapon she dropped onto her haunches and enfolded him in a fierce embrace.
"Don't you scare us like that again, baka!"
"Well, shit." she sputtered. "I didn't mean to..."
Odd.
His voice sounded...strange.
"Uh, guys?" he frowned. "What did I miss?"
Unfortunately, he didn't have a chance to process this as a veritable sea of voices assaulted his ears. As though each of his comrades wanted to be the first to answer his inquiry; so too did the burning man find himself inundated in the flood of responses that followed. Belatedly, he tried to rise, only for all hell to break loose.
"Gah!" Chopper cried! "He's going to overexert himself again! Quick, somebody call a doctor!"
"That's you!" Franky guffawed!
"Oh!"
"Yohoho! I nearly bawled my eyes out!" Brook chorused. "Although I have no eyes! Skull joke!"
"Tch. Look's the shitty bastard's still alive." Sanji all but growled.
"There weren't any good fights." Zoro's unflinching deadpan.
"Luffy picked a fight with Big Mom!" Usopp lowed.
"Shishishishi! I'm glad you're finally up!"
A muscle jumped in Naruto's jaw.
"Are you now?"
Nami shrank back.
"There it is! That face again...!"
"LUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFY~!"
"Hey its not my fault she decided to be such a-bwaergh?!"
Quick as you please, Naruto's right hand arced up and latched onto the captain's rubbery cheek in an unyielding vice. Firm fingers took hold of his face and pulled, stretching that grinning visage to its utmost limit. Despite his own looming exhaustion he jerked his captain's forehead to his his and growled. To his credit, Luffy didn't try to escape; rather he allowed his elastic visage to snap right back.
"Barely a day in the New World and you've already pissed off an Emperor? Why am I not surprised?! You never do anything by halves, do you?!"
"Nope!"
"I'm surprised you're awake at all." A new voice drawled, causing him to release the rubberman, their words rife with exasperated anger. "Logia powers are one thing, but an Awakened Logia? Its a miracle you didn't destroy yourself from the inside out, going at that pace. When was the last time you slept? Just what the hell were you thinking?"
Naruto turned his head and spat.
"Oh, bite me Trafalgar Law. Wait...Law?"
Sure enough, the Surgeon of Death stared back at him.
"Is that any way to address the man who changed your life?" he smirked.
"Saved my...?" his head cast about wildly, seeking answers and finding none. "What are you on about?"
"Well, you weren't waking up," Chopper interjected fretfully, tenting his hooves beneath the blond's baffled glare. "Even after we left Fishman island. You were barely breathing by the time we got here. We were all getting desperate, you know? When we met Law here, Robin grabbed him and made him, well...
"What, Robin? Made him do what?"
At that, he finally registered the strange unease he'd been experiencing for the better part of five minutes now. Rather, it finally occurred for him to look somewhere other than the crew. Or the meddling Shichibukai whom he wanted nothing to do with...
He'd come to regret that unfortunate decision.
"Oi. Wait a fucking second...
Naruto blinked, slowly.
He stared down at a slim pair of hands-his hands-and yet not. These were certainly not his arms. His arms were all muscle and tattoo, skin kissed by years under the harsh, beating rays of the sun. By comparison, these arms looked as though they hadn't seen a good tan in over two years. Nay, they seemed pale, and deceptively frail. Turning them end over end, trying -and failing spectacularly- to understand what was going on here. His last coherent thought was of Fishman Island. That crippling pain in his chest.
Now this.
He looked down...
And found himself staring at a sizable chest. A trembling finger reached down, poking the breasts; and he nearly jumped out of his skin at the response. A muscle jumped in his jaw as he pushed a strand of ebony hair out of his eyes, leading to a vein throbbing in his temple. His furious expression certainly had no business belonging on such an angelic face.
Definitely not his!
"Ah, hell." Somewhere in his brain, the wires finally crossed.
"Surprise...?" Robin's sultry voice answered him.
Naruto turned...
...and realized he was looking at himself.
Rather, his body, housing Nico Robin's voice. Someone had even taken the liberty of slapping a small likeness of "her" face on his forehead for good measure. Under any other circumstance he might've found this amusing but now, after waking from what had proven to be a terribly long dream, he found himself genuinely at a loss.
"I...buwah?" he managed coherently.
"We wanted to make certain you survived the surgery and we weren't sure if your will was strong enough in your comatose sate," she soothed, laying a strong hand on his slim arm. "It seems foolish, I know, but we had to be certain you wouldn't perish in the outing. So I convinced Law to...
She made an elaborate gesture with her hands.
"What, swap our hearts or something?" he balked. "Swap our hearts? Can he do that?"
A harsh snort from the latter dispelled his disbelief.
"Very much so, yes." the shichibukai chimed in. "In any case, the procedure was a success...despite your mouth."
His expression bordered on apoplectic.
"Law...you're a right and proper bastard, ya know that?"
"Really?" a dark brow arched at him. "Just for that? I think I'll leave you like this for awhile."
...I swear, I 'm going to charbroil you one of these days for this." the blond groused. "Buuuuuut right now?"
Slowly he rose, a dark aura exuding from his shoulders
"I'LL SETTLE FOR STRANGLING YOU! DON'T YOU DARE RUN AWAY FROM ME! C'MERE, YA LITTLE SHIT!"
"Oi. Burning Will." the latter paled as a small army of hands sprouted from the blond's temporary body. "How did you get her powers under control that quickly? That shouldn't be...urk." his expression turned ashen when the latter advanced upon him. "Why're you looking at me like that? OI! Don't you dare! We have an alliance! Naruto, I swear to GOD-
The blond's expression turned feral.
"CLUTCH!"
A/N: Yes, that bit was mean to be a funny little joke there at the end.
AGAIN before anyone asks, yes, Naruto does have an illness that manifest when he over exerts himself. He's deadly, but in a prolonged fight, he ain't the best. Of course, now that they've made it to Punk Hazard and run smack dab into Law, we might well see that weakness alleviated somewhat. Naruto may be powerful, but I don't want him stealing all the spotlight...
Thoughts?
We'll get to the good 'ol humor/action and the like next chapter.
And before you say it, no, I'm not doing those filler arcs. God knows they were long!
And there we go! Been awhile, hasn't it folks? As I said, I've been on a massive updating spree! I'm sure many of you might be wondering what I plan to do with the Donflamingo arc coming soon in this story, as well as the matter of the contest and Sabo himself. But fear not! I have plans! I can promise you this, though, the Punk Hazard is going to be veeeeeery amusing. Can you say body-swapped Robin and Naruto, anyone? Bwahahahaha!
So...In the Immortal Words of Atlas..
...Review...Would Ya Kindly? Hope it makes ya laugh and smile! Also, does anyone think Monet should live? Granted, she ought to be frightened out of her mind, but still. Someone oughta smack some sense into her.
Next time we've got ourselves a brawl for the ages!
By that, of course, I speak of the previews!
Weeeeeell, potential ones, I mean.
Lemme know what ye think!
Snow vs Fire!
(Preview)
...I'll give you one chance to repent. Say you're sorry. Dedicate your life to atonement..and I'll let you go."
"Tch! What are you on about now, you damn-
Blue eyes blazed into scarlet rubies.
"BUT IF YOU REFUSE...!"
Fire danced with snow and in the end only one yielded; the intense temperatures clashed violently with one another and rendered themselves into harmless steam. Monet was the first to retreat, shrinking back as a column of blazing flames manifested itself in her winder wonderland, rendering her terrain little more than warm water. As she looked on those flames gradually resolved themselves into the shape of a young man; his back standing straight and proud, eyes blazing like twin stars in his skull. That figure stooped slightly, hands clenching into burning claws at his side. Not red, but something else. Ebony. Emerald. A twisted, poisonous color, consumed by emotion.
"I don't enjoy hitting a lady," Burning Will's resonating voice carried across to her from the storm, "Yet for you, I'll make an exception. Now. Apologize."
Monet clicked her tongue in exasperation as she found herself forced to assume physical form.
More than that, she found her resolve scorched by the sight towering before her.
"For what?!"
The specter of fire loomed large.
"APOLOGIZE TO THOSE CHILDREN FOR ALL THAT YOU'VE DONE! IF YOU WON'T...
A bead of sweat ran down her brow as the wildfire roared higher. In a heartbeat it crashed into her, picking her up and dashing her back against the wall. Shrieking, she beat her wings to escape. In spite of the mercy he'd offered her she found herself faltering as she flailed her arms, suddenly uncertain when faced with this inferno. She shouldn't have hesitated. She should have struck him down while he was weak...!
Damnit.
She'd been so close!
A fist snapped back, swirling with wrath.
...THEN YOU CAN BURN WITH THE REST! HIKEN!"
"Shurorororororororo! That's right, you cretins! Bow to the power of my science!"
...oi. Luffy.
"Ha?"
"Can I kick his ass?"
"Sure!"
"Wait...those flames! Noooooooononononono! Don't let him near me, Mugiwara! Help! He's gonna kill me!
"So. You're Naruto."
"Ha? And who are you?"
Sabo merely offered a small smile.
"I trust you've taken good care of my brother?"
R&R! =D