Disclaimer: I do not own Gone. However, I would like to emphasize that Sam and Caine are MINE. -evil laughter-
Lots of the people who reviewed "51 things Caine Soren is not allowed to do" suggested writing another one (OMGsoObsessed, lindsiebee42, theletterj, JokerGrace, you guys are so awesome that I might even share Sam. And if you happen to be a straight male you can have any of the girls ^_^). So here it is, a long time later! Reviewreviewreview~
Sam is not allowed to whack annoying little kids on the head with his surfboard,
Especially if said kid happens to be Little Pete,
Although when choosing between his surfboard and green light he is advised to go with surfboard.
Sam is not allowed to make out with Taylor,
or Diana,
or Dekka, although that's improbable considering her lesbianess.
He is also not to run around half naked.
Or fully naked.
Sam is not allowed to stick little Sammy Suns under his shirt and say "Imma ghost!"
Or to throw darts at the photo of Caine hidden in his closet.
On that note, Sam shouldn't throw things at the real Caine either,
Because it's really stupid to throw stuff at people with telekinesis.
If Sam ever finds bacon in the FAYZ, he is definitely not allowed to try to cook it with his light.
But again there probably isn't any bacon
And we're hoping he's smart enough to know you're not supposed to cook/burn Nutella.
And soda.
And computers.
Sam should be jealous that Caine's having sex with Diana.
BECAUSE GUESS WHAT, HE ISN'T GETTING ANY FROM ASTRID. :D
He is not allowed to pressure Astrid.
It's too bad the sex talk people didn't come before the FAYZ wall went up.
Yeah, Caine, because if she did maybe you would've learned to use a condom and NOT made Diana pregnant.
Okay this is getting off topic.
Sam is not allowed to whine "I'm just a kid that wants to surf" whenever being the leader gets too hard.
Next time a school bus driver has a heart attack, Sam is not allowed to take over.
He is advised to just let everyone in the bus fall down a cliff and die.
That makes world domination a lot easier for Caine.
WTF Ohmygawd Astrid finally said a bad wooooooooord! Actually that's an abbreviated form of an offensive phrase.
Sam is not allowed to ask Astrid if she's PMSing,
nor may he stuff her tampons up his nose when he got a nose bleed.
He is also not allowed to give Little Pete gummy worms, because LP likes to stuff whatever fits into his nostrils like any other 5-year-old.
Not that average 5-year-olds have 134782957259073 bar powers.
Sam is also advised against real worms.
And zekes.
Because LP might just get really annoyed and put up a barrier around the whole effing world.
Sam is not allowed to use too much tanning lotion
And turn orange.
And say "I'm tanner than Caaai-ine!" in singsong voice afterwards.
Or "I have nicer abs than Caaai-ine!"
Or "I'm hotter than Caaai-ine!"
Or some other thing along those lines.
Sam is not allowed to mention that his mother kept him instead of his much awesomer twin.
Sam is not allowed to bribe Taylor with a 30 minute makeout session
and make her bounce into Caine's room
and apply makeup on him
because he is not transsexual thank you very much.
or a drag queen.
and also because the next time he cheats on Astrid his tanning lotion will be confiscated.
He is not allowed to steal Little Pete's DS to play Black Ops
because A)it doesn't even exist on the DS and B)LP needs it to prevent everyone in the FAYZ from a long and painful death at the hands of a creepy ass alien thingamajig.
"That's fifty." Astrid informed him.
"Finally. I never wanna see your face again." Caine said to Astrid as he made for the door. But before he got to it, a blur that happened to be a hyperactive surfer boy knocked him onto the bed.
"Ohmygawd, I can't believe I never noticed how hot you are." Let's have a threesome!" Sam reached out for Astrid with one hand after he successfully straddled his surprised twin brother on the bed, taking his shirt off with the other.
"What the hell were you smoking?" Astrid screamed as she backed away from his groping hand.
Caine threw Sam out the door and quickly grabbed a pencil.
Sam is not allowed to try to have a threesome with his evil twin brother and Astrid.
A very accurate beam of green light came through the Sam-shaped opening in the door and set the whole list on fire just as they prepared to leave.
Astrid and Caine looked at each other and shrugged, "It was worth a shot."
Drake's next if I get more than 10 reviews!
And…Sam, Astrid and Caine having a threesome…-shudders-
Anywayyy reviewers get free Nutella and my love once again.
~Frostyshadows~