An Offer for the Hopeless

By the-redmercedes

Disclaimer: I own nothing. (except the story idea/plot idea)

He was on the floor, against the wall, panting deeply; trying to control each breath he took. Muscles tensed, tears disguised as sweat trickled down his forehead, he clenched his eyes tightly as if in pain.

He let out mangled cry. He did not know why. Why he had to be in this situation. Why? It just didn't make sense. Why did Hotaru always have to be right?

"Natsume!" Mikan called out happily, running over to her boyfriend. Ruka watched as she ran, noting the pang of jealousy in his heart. What was this feeling? Why did he feel that way?

"Click," a bright blinding flash came out on nowhere.

"What the hell Hotaru? I thought you had given up on this by now," Ruka tore himself from his thoughts, momentarily forgetting the feeling he had.

Hotaru, ignoring his remark, gave him a penetrating stare, as if she could read his mind and feelings.

"It's not worth it," she muttered, giving him a condescending look, "Definitely not worth it."

"Hmm?" Ruka had gone back to looking at the couple.

The jealousy was back. It was weak, but Ruka was afraid it would progress into something more, something worse-something that would ruin his friendship. He hoped this was just a momentary phase that would soon pass…

It didn't. This 'phase' stayed, slowly building up into something stronger, something much deeper. He was scared. It hurt, every time he looked and saw them together.

The feelings he felt for Mikan-they were so confusing, and for Natsume? They were even worse. He could not fathom why he felt this way.

Hotaru was standing next to him, looking down, camera in hand. She took a photo.

"What was that for? So you could laugh at me later on? When you're feeling sad? To cheer you up again?" He screamed, breathless, panting, still sweating against the wall, "Fuck you!"

"No, it was so in the future you can look back on this day. Remember it, rather than try and hide it. You can't deny what has happened today, but you can move on, you can overcome it," she replied not giving any hint of emotion.

"Maybe I don't want to overcome it, or move on," he countered back tired of shouting or yelling, "Have you though about that? Or my feelings? Maybe I just want to disappear."

Hotaru pondered before saying quietly, "I could take a photo of you right now. It would capture everything you're feeling at this moment. You could see for yourself what you look like, how you look like you're in agony and pain."

"Screw you," he cried, not able to think of response. Hotaru never seemed to feel emotions or understand anyone; instead all she seemed capable of was using her index finger to press down the little button on that bloody camera, "You don't know what I'm going through."

"But I do. I know exactly what you're going through. Your feelings, the way you feel about Natsume, Mikan; all of them. I know exactly how you feel."

"You? You know how I feel?" disbelief filled him. Of all people, she would be the last one on his mind to even begin to understand how he felt. To him, she had no emotions.

"Fine, then tell me. Tell me what I feel," he said in a condescending tone.

"Your confused. You don't know how to react to the way you heart behaves and what your mind thinks of. Ethics has taught you differently yet you are in love. You're in love with the one person you aren't meant to love," Hotaru said tiredly. Ruka was not accepting anything she said.

He was shaking his head shouting, "No. No. No. No! You're wrong!"

"You don't understand what you're feeling, and aren't coming to terms with it. You can't seem to figure out whether this is just a passing phase or something more permanent," she had raised her voice, trying to compete with his volume, forcing him to listen to what she said, "And this is where I come in. I may not be a male, but maybe that's what you need, a way of figuring out who you really are."

He had stopped shouting and just looked at her. Silence ensued, as he comprehended what she had just said. Understanding showed in his eyes, and a moment later he had her cornered. Pushed against the wall, voice dangerously low, he asked, "And what exactly did you mean by that?"

She did not seem afraid; she stood up looking back straight into his eyes.

"I just thought, maybe I could help," Hotaru barely let out a whisper, yet somehow still managing to have an aura of complete composure.

"You want to help?" He snorted, "And how do you plan on doing that?"

"How do you think? You need some comfort and I'm here. You, who has feelings for Natsume and is jealous over Mikan needs to find your roots. Figure out who exactly you're attracted to."

"I've been with plenty of women before." He countered. Jumping in quick, to stand up for that little snipe at his so called manly hood.

"But have you actually felt something for them? Love? Or was it merely because you needed to relieve yourself?"

Ruka stood there thinking, still pushing Hotaru against the wall. There must be some ulterior motive. She never did anything unless it was to her own advantage.

"What do you want from me?" he asked.

"Nothing. Perhaps a favour in the future? I just want to help you. I could offer you something, now, as a favour-for tonight. I may not be a male, but I'll still do the job won't I?

He laughed eyes slightly crazed, "You're offering me sex?"

Hotaru just looked at him pointedly as if that was the most normal thing in the world.

He fell silent. Staring at her intensely as if to see if she wasn't trying something on him. Then he smiled crazily, moved closer until he was barely an inch from her face, "We'll aren't we fucked up."

He chuckled darkly at Hotaru. "So fucking fucked up," Before his lips descended downwards, crashing onto hers.