A/N 1 - Firstly, I really cannot apologize enough for the length of time it's taken for me to update this... I know I had promised some of you it'd be updated ages ago, but I had a serious case of writers block - I knew where I wanted to start & where to end it, but the middle wasn't coming to me at all... Hopefully this makes up for the gap in updates!

A/N 2 - Secondly, I know I say this all the time, but I honestly can't say how much it means to me that you guys are taking the time to read this and still commenting and even searching it out...

A/N - Thanks again to Beckalooby for providing the prompt for this and for sticking with me throughout the story!

Disclaimers: See previous chapters for Disclaimers please...

After Dean had managed to calm Sam down from his nightmare, he had asked his brother a few times if he wanted to talk about it, but Sam declined the offer by shaking his head and looking away. Dean eventually encouraged Sam to go back to sleep, explaining to him "Sam, it's like an 8 hour drive to Bobbys place from here, we need to sleep so that we can get there without me crashing the car". He made sure that he stayed awake until he heard Sams soft snores, which lulled Dean into a sleep as well.

Dean woke up in the morning to the sound of water running and to the sound of the kettle boiling. As he opened his eyes and looked over to Sams bed he saw that it was neatly made, almost as though it had never been slept in. Looking in the direction of the noises he saw Sam standing over the sink, his thin frame shaking the force that he was using to wash his hands. 'Can I take a shower?' Sams voice rang in Deans mind, asking over and over again since he had brought his brother back to the motel. "Hey Sam" Dean said quietly as he got up, not wanting to startle his brother too much.

Sam tensed slightly then relaxed and turned around wringing his hands together "Oh, hey Dean. Do you... um... want some tea or coffee?" he asked pointing to the kettle that had just stopped boiling.

Dean smiled and nodded as he got out of bed, commenting lightly "You're up pretty early".

Sam looked down at the floor and then back to Dean, as though he wasn't sure whether Deans comment had been a general comment or if it meant he was in trouble, "Yeah, I... um... I'm used to getting up early" and looking back to the floor.

Dean nodded, unsure of what to do, deciding to let Sam open up in his own time he settled for a questioning "mmm?" as he sat on the end of the bed so that he was facing his brother.

Sam looked up at Dean and nodded, continuing with a sad smile "It was my job to get up and cook breakfast for them, so uh... yeah I'm used to early mornings..." he trailed off as his eyes looked to the side and then back to Dean.

Dean cleared his throat and met Sams eyes as he tried to reassure his brother "Well you don't need to do that now. It's different now Sam, you don't need to make breakfast for me, you'll never need to make another breakfast again if you don't want to. We go to diners to have breakfast or we order out and eat it wherever we want or happen to be." Sam nodded, clearly trying to break the eye contact but Dean wasn't letting the matter drop so easily. "I'm serious Sam... no more early mornings. I'm not such a morning person myself... so ten or eleven am is early for me" he said with a smile and Sam smiled and rewarded Dean a slight laugh. Deciding to push his luck a little, Dean stood up from the bed and walked to the bathroom as he pointed at the kettle and said "But I wouldn't say no to that cup of coffee you were making".

Sam smiled, looking relieved to have something to do, and said "Sure thing Dean" as he turned back to the kettle. Dean smiled and felt hopeful for the first time in the last few days as he closed the bathroom door. As he heard the bathroom door close, Sam looked at his hands and could feel the dirt still on them, he could see how dirty he was, as the thoughts ran through his mind ' need to clean them, can't let Dean see'.

As he stood over the sink scrubbing his hands, he heard Daniels voice 'You'll never be clean Andrew... you're mine forever, forever my dirty little asshole'. "No" Sam whispered as he stepped back from the sink and grabbed the towel to dry his hands. 'It's not real, he's gone' Sam reminded himself as he focused on the kettle and pouring Dean his coffee to keep himself busy. Dean still wasn't out of the bathroom by the time the coffee was done, and Sam found himself moving back towards the sink 'No' he reminded himself, and looked for something else to do to keep himself busy, 'Deans bed'. Moving over to Deans bed, Sam made it up in the same way that he had made his own earlier that morning, smoothing out the sheets with the precision that had been beaten into him not long after he had arrived at the Bespokes home.

Dean opened the bathroom door after his shower to see Sam smoothing out the sheets, and stopped, watching him as he focused on the task at hand. Just as Sam finished methodically placing the pillow, Dean cleared his throat and Sam froze, straightening himself up slowly before turning to face Dean. Dean had always thought that the expression 'deer caught in headlights' was just a figure of speech until he saw that look on his brothers face. "You alright Sammy?" he asked as he walked into the room and sat down at the table.

"I, um, yeah... I just thought I'd make the bed for you?" Sam managed to turn the statement into a question of 'is that ok?'

"Thanks Sam" Dean answered as he noted that Sam still lingered beside the bed, unsure of what to do. "How's the coffee situation coming along?" he asked in a playful tone, feeling a little guilty when Sam sprang into action to make the coffee. Once Sam put the steaming cup in front of Dean he stood beside the table, again seemingly not sure what he should be doing. "Hey Sam, why don't you grab a seat?". Sam quickly pulled out one of the seats and sat across the table from Dean, sitting almost at attention as if waiting for an order. Dean took a breath before saying "You can relax Sam" he said lightly, and Sam instantly relaxed his posture. "We need to talk dude". As soon as the words were out of his mouth, Dean regretted his word choice as the deer caught in headlights look was plastered over Sams face again.

"I sorry..." Sam said, visibly trying to control himself.

"You don't need to apologize Sam. What are you even apologizing for?"

That seemed to bring Sam back to reality as he looked around him and said "I... um, sorry... it was always easier to just say sorry to them" before his eyes finally focused on Dean again.

"Okay. I want you to know that you can trust me Sam. I know I've told you that already, but you can. I can't imagine what you've gone through with them... and I know it'll take time, but I want you to listen to me when I say what I'm about to say, okay?" While Dean had been talking Sams shoulders had slumped slightly, but he looked up and nodded. Dean took a drink of his coffee and said "Damn that's some good coffee." Sams smile at the praise for his coffee wasn't lost on Dean. "Listen Sam, it's my job to look after you. I appreciate you're offering to make me coffee, and making my bed... but what I'm trying to say is that you don't need to do those things for me. I'm your big brother, and I should be doing those things for you."

"But..." Sam started, but quickly stopped and bowed his head.

Dean smiled sadly as he watched his brother slip so easily back to being the scared kid he'd first found a few days ago. "It's okay Sammy, you can say anything or ask anything you want, I'll never give you into trouble for it or think bad of you for asking."

"But I don't think that I can just stop it, it's all I've known, I don't know how to stop it" Sam said dejectedly as he sighed and dropped his gaze to the table once again.

Dean could have kicked himself, he should have known that Sam wouldn't be able to just stop the routine that he'd lived with for the last fourteen years. "Shit... Sam I'm sorry, I didn't think" he told his brother honestly. Sam looked at him with confusion and 'you're apologizing to me?' written on his face. Dean sighed and ran his hand through his hair as he thought 'this is gonna take some getting used to for both of us'. He determinedly but gently said "I know it's gonna take some getting used to for you, being with me now, and not living with them and doing every damn thing for them. But I want you to promise me that you'll try. And in return I promise you that you'll always be free do to what you want and to say what you want.

Sam smiled a shy meek grin as he nodded, and Dean felt like he'd been handed the world at his feet, before responding "I'll try Dean".

"Alright, I'm gonna get packed up and then we'll go grab some breakfast and head out to Bobbys. That sound good?"

Sam nodded and hesitantly asked "Are we having breakfast here?" "Nah it'll be quicker if we go to the diner on our way out."

Sam had fear written all over his face, exactly like the fear that Dean had seen on his face the first time he saw his brother in Daniels house. "What's wrong Sam?"

"A diner... with uh, with lots of people?" Sam asked and Dean nodded. "Wh-what if they know... I-I can't be around regular people".

'Fuck' The hidden meaning of what Sam was asking him hit Dean like a ton of bricks. "Bobby and I are regular people, and you've managed to be around us perfectly fine..."

"...yeah but you're my brother, and he's your friend. And you know what happened to me. I've never been around that many people... not since..." Sam trailed off.

"Trust Sammy, no-one will be able to tell what happened to you. No-one there will even spare either of us a second glance, they'll all be too worked up in eating their breakfast and getting on with their day". Dean reassured his brother.

Sam reasoned out what Dean had said in his mind, thinking that Dean was probably right, after all he's used to these places. 'You told him you'd try, now's the time to start'. "Y-yeah, okay" Sam said as he looked at Dean.

"You sure? I don't wanna force you into doing anything you don't want to do, or anything you're not comfortable with?" Dean asked, really meaning it. He didn't want Sam to feel pressured into this.

"Yeah, I'm sure Dean" Sam said more confidently.

Dean smiled and as he stood up he said "Okay, give me a couple of minutes to get packed up and checked out and then we'll head out".

As they pulled into the diner parking lot, Sam straightened up from his relatively relaxed position in the passenger seat, his hand moving to grab the string on the hoodie that Dean had given him. Dean noticed this out the side of eye and asked his brother as he parked the car "Are you sure you want to do this Sam? I mean, I can go in and order the stuff and bring it out if you'd prefer?"

Sam was considering Deans suggestion. He really wanted to do this for Dean, who had already given me much more in the few days that he'd been with him than he'd had in the last fourteen years. He started to feel like he would be letting Dean down somehow if he didn't go into the diner, when he remembered how Daniel had told him he was useless and weak 'You're a useless piece of shit you know that? Can't do anything right, and always scared of everyone! We'll soon change that...', The memory made Sam all the more determined to go in with Dean. He wouldn't be that person anymore. "Y-yeah, I'm s-sure Dean. I wan't to do this..." when he saw Deans look of doubt he said "I need to do this". He swallowed down the fear at being around so many normal people in an enclosed space, knowing that he needed to prove not only to Dean, but to himself, that he could do this.

Sensing his brothers determination to go into the diner, Dean said "Ok you got it Sammy, let go".

They walked up to the diner, Dean making sure that he kept in line with Sams pace, not wanting to hurry his brother. As they reached the steps, Dean stepped in front of Sam to make sure he was first. He didn't want Sam to feel anymore overwhelmed than he already did. He was reminded of a seven year old Sam when he felt his brother grabbing hold of the bottom of his jacket, remembering when Sam would do the same thing when they were kids. Dean was relieved to see that the diner was quite empty with only a few tables being used.

Sam kept himself tucked firmly behind Dean as he heard him dealing with the waitress and they were then shown to their table, he'd heard Dean ask her for a table away from the other customers, at back of the diner if possible. As they walked past a few of the customers he kept telling himself 'you can do this, you can do this, you can do this', thinking that maybe Dean had been telling him the truth about people not paying them any attention as no-one had looked up from their table when he passed them.

"Sam, you wanna go in first?" Deans voice shook him from his thoughts as he realized that they had come to a stop beside a booth. It just like the ones he'd seen on TV, the few times that he'd been allowed to catch a glimpse of it. He was sure he must have in diners a good few times with his dad and Dean, but the memories weren't coming to him just now.

"Uh, yeah. Sure" Sam replied as he nodded and slid into the booth. Dean slid in beside him, and he tried to stop himself tensing up as Dean slid a little too close and his hand brushed against Sams thigh as he lifted it from the bench. A look of guilt and regret crossed Deans features as he slid over to leave a little space between them. Sam muttered "Sorry" and ducked his head to look at the table as he noticed the waitress approaching the table with menus.

"Don't worry about it Sam, I should have realized" Dean said as the menus were put down in front of each of them.

The waitress had a thick drawling accent that Sam couldn't quite place as she asked "What'll y'all have to drink?"

Dean answered her "I'll have a coffee and a coke please sweetheart... and... Sam?"

Sam felt like he'd been put under a spotlight, he couldn't bring himself to look at the woman, and he didn't know he'd need to talk to her either. He didn't know that this had been part of the deal for coming into the diner. He just assumed that Dean would have ordered for him. He could feel his heart racing and he could hear Daniels voice ringing in his mind, he could feel Daniel kicking him as he screamed 'You don't want anything you selfish son of a bitch. Anything you need, I'll make the decisions for you... you don't deserve to want anything...'

"Sammy?" Deans voice again speared through the flashback, bringing him back to reality.

"Uh... w-water, I-I-I'll have water p-please" Sam barely whispered as he tried to control his breathing.

"He'll said have a water please" Dean told the waitress who pulled a face when she hadn't been able to hear Sams whispered request. She scribbled down the drinks order saying "I'll come back for your food order" as she walked away.

Turning to look at his brother, Dean noticed that Sam was shaking and still looking at the table. "You okay Sam?"

"I... I j-just... I'm not..." Sam stopped to take a breath and tried to compose himself. He tried again "I'm not used to making decisions. Anything I needed Daniel got for me" Sam risked looking up from the table to Dean, expecting to see anger at how useless he was, but instead he saw that Dean had that same look of guilt, with a little bit of understanding.

"Shit, Sam I'm sorry. I didn't realize, I didn't even think. I should have known..." Dean was surprised to be cut off when Sam interrupted him.

"... No you shouldn't apologize. I'm just not used to doing things like this. I'm sorry."

"Stop apologizing Sam. I'm saying sorry to you for putting you on the spot like that, and for not thinking that you wouldn't be used to it". Dean wanted to kick himself for not realizing that Sam might have felt like he was being put under pressure.

"I-it's okay Dean. I'm gonna have to learn to talk to people eventually..."

"...Yeah but not before you're ready. In future if you're not comfortable you tell me or nudge me or something okay?"

"Yeah, thanks Dean." Sam said, still feeling like he'd let Dean down somehow.

Dean decided that maybe distracting Sam from what had happened would be the best idea, he opened his menu and, making sure to choose words carefully he asked his brother "So, what do you feel like eating?" as he started to browse the menu.

Sam, as Dean had hoped, followed his example and opened the menu, paying close attention to it and paying much more attention to it than Dean had to his. "Uhm... I'm not sure..." he trailed off as he started to closely examine the menu again. Sam looked at all the foods that were offered and he honestly couldn't remember ever seeing such a wide variety. It made him a little upset to think that although he must have been in places like this with Dad & Dean he couldn't remember it.

"You alright Sam?" Dean asked, sensing his brothers mood.

"Yeah I'm okay Dean, just can't decide what I want." He answered as he turned back to study the menu. Not wanting to take too much time, or to order anything too expensive he settled on toast, and after encouragement from Dean he agreed to a boiled egg with the toast.

The waitress returned and handed them both their drinks, and Dean gave her Sams order as Sam returned his gaze to the table, and ordered a full breakfast with extra toast for himself.

"You sure you're okay Sam? You know you can talk to me" Dean asked, genuinely worried about the dip that Sams mood had taken.

"Yeah, I was just thinking..." Sam trailed off.

"Do you wanna talk about it?"

"I was just thinking that I must have been in places like this with you and dad right?" Dean nodded and Sam continued, unable to hide the upset from his voice "But I can't remember it. I can't remember ever being in a place like this, eating food like this..."

"It's understandable Sam. I know it must be frustrating for you, and I don't know if you'll ever get those memories back. But we'll make new ones." Dean tried to reassure his brother. He honestly didn't know how it must feel for Sam not being able to remember his life before the Bespokes except for little bits here and there, but he did know that he would help his brother wherever he could.

"Yeah, I guess you're right." Sam answered. "So what happened to dad?" he asked, wondering why Dean hadn't called their dad instead of Bobby to come and help.

Dean did his best to keep his face natural, and keep his panic at answering Sams question under wraps. "He had to go away, I haven't able to contact him for a while now" he blurted out before he even knew what he was saying. Sam seemed to accept it.

Thankfully he was spared any explaining any further when the waitress came back with their food and placed it on the table, giving them a curious glance as Sams head was bowed once again to look at the table. Dean gave her a look that said 'Don't even think about commenting' and she backed off, bidding them an "enjoy your breakfast" as she walked back to the kitchen.

They ate their meal in silence, Dean enjoy his first decent meal in a few days, and Sam taking his time and savoring the food as he ate it, enjoying being able to take his time with the food without fear of it being taken away from him. Since Dean was finished first, he suggested "Hey Sam, I'm gonna go pay up just now and use the bathroom quickly just to save time. Are you okay to wait here while I do that?"

Sam was worried at being left alone with all these strange people, but he felt confident in the fact that no-one had bothered with them so far, so he agreed reluctantly.

"You'll be able to keep an eye on me and then the door to the bathroom if you get worried or freaked, just come get me okay?" Dean reassured his brother. Sam nodded and returned to eating his toast and egg. Dean smiled and thought to himself 'That's my little brother' with pride as he stood up and went to pay the bill.

Sam kept a watchful eye on Dean as he payed the waitress who had greeted them when they first came into the diner, and kept watching him as he went through the door into the bathroom. He started eating his food again and when he looked up to look at the bathroom door he saw a man that he was sure he recognized from somewhere sitting at the table across the aisle from him. He brushed it off as he wasn't sure how he knew the man, and returned to his food. He felt Dean slide into the booth beside him and looked up to see Dean smiling questioningly at him.

"I was fine Dean" he answered, seemingly knowing what Dean wanted to ask.

"Good, I'm glad. Told you it'd be fine coming here didn't I?" Dean replied.

Sam smiled and huffed a laugh saying "Yeah you did. Thanks Dean" as he returned to eating his food.

Dean opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by a voice behind him asking "Hey, how you doing kid?"

Sam looked up in shock to see the man from the table across the aisle now standing at the end of their table and looking at him. "I-I... uh..." he stammered, not knowing what to say, but all too painfully aware of where he knew this man from and how well they'd gotten to know each other. The thought of it made him bow his head again in fear and put his arms across his chest to protect himself.

Dean looked from the man to Sam and back again in shock, a painful awareness railroaded it's way into his mind as Sams body language and shuttered facial expression registered. "And who the hell are you?" he asked the man.

"Oh, how rude of me, I didn't introduce myself" the man said, feigning politeness. He held his hand out to for Dean to shake as he said "My name is Kyle. Andrew and I go way back" and he dropped his hand to his side as Dean didn't shake it.

Dean heard Sams breath quicken and he could practically feel Sam shaking even though there was enough space between them. "Oh?" It was all that Dean could bring himself to say, as he fought down the murderous rage that he knew would be wrong to let out in a diner full of people.

"Yeah, he is Daniels kid right?" Kyle asked and, and then addressed Sam "Andrew? Aren't you even going to look at me?"

Sam kept his head down, and squeezed his eyes shut as he was addressed. Dean stood up, forcing Kyle to back away from the table as he forced out "His. Name. Is. Sam." through his teeth in a bid to control his rage. "Back the fuck off you filthily bastard" as the other customers in the diner turned to face them.

"Funny, I could say the same thing about our Andrew here. You can't tell me you can't say it?" Kyle retorted and Dean heard Sam whimper in fear from behind him.

"No, actually I can't say the same thing. You know why?" Kyle shook is head as though they were having a natural everyday conversation. Dean continued "because his name is not Andrew, it's Sam. And Sam is my brother. If you even dare so much as look at him again I'll burst your nose, and that's just for starters. We clear?" Dean turned to Sam and said "C'mon Sam, we're leaving this shithole town." Sam looked up at Dean, his eyes filled with tears and his face filled with shame and slid towards the end of the booth.

Dean heard Kyle move closer again as he said "I'll be seeing you around Andrew. I'll need to set up another meeting, it's been far too long".

Dean turned sharply as he yelled, "Did you not hear anything I just fucking said?" pulling his fist back he connected it hard with Kyles nose, as blood sputtered from it and Kyle landed on the floor holding hand hands to his face. There was a collective alarmed gasp from the other people in the diner.

Dean held his hand out for Sam saying "Come on Sam. Lets go".

Sam looked from Dean to Kyle and back to Dean. He knew after witnessing this that Dean would protect him, and that he wouldn't hurt him. He grabbed onto his brother hand, holding it tightly as they left the diner.

Dean wasn't happy with what he had done, but he noted that no-one had dared to stop him as he left the diner with his brother, taking him to Bobbys where they could both help Sam to recover and perhaps one day live a relatively normal life.

'TBC...'

A/N - So there's the next part, I hope you enjoyed reading it. Please let me know what your thoughts are, whether good or terrible. I really love hearding feedback and it really does help me to improve.