Author's Note: Last chapter of this (your own description) story! Um, I hope I made you smile, laugh, cry and all sorts of stuff. Hahaha. To everyone that's read the story since I started it, thank you! Writing my first fanfic has been a BLASSSSSST! Much love to you all. x

Every intersection that she had to stop at was unmistakably painful. It was as if things couldn't move fast enough.

At last, she slowed down, seeing his figure leaning against a battered bench. Her heart picked up pace when she was closer, and she could clearly see his face. Castle looked up as her car came to a stop. Beckett cut off the engine abruptly, and he took two steps forward.

She stepped out of the vehicle, her hands taking shelter in the warmth of her pockets. It was cold outside. Really cold. She wished she'd thought to bring her gloves. Beckett's legs were shaking but she knew firsthand it wasn't from the weather. She could feel his brooding blue eyes roaming her face, though the courage to look him in the eyes was not with her yet. Beckett uncertainly drew closer to him, and Castle attempted to meet her halfway, but both of them stopped at an awkward distance.

Beckett heard Castle take a breath and for some reason, she looked up. Their eyes locked for a few moments, then Beckett found herself staring at his flushed cheeks. They were a deep pink color. She moved down to his lips, which were slightly quivering.

Beckett tore her gaze away, giving herself time to glance at the scenery dotted with specks of the first signs of snowfall.

"How long have you been waiting?"

It was a loaded question. Both of them knew that. It didn't help that neither one knew how to answer such a seemingly simple question.

"Longer than I would've wanted." Castle replied, his tone honest. Then again, there was much more to what he meant.

Beckett nodded slowly. "That… that explains it. You look cold."

"It's alright. I'm just glad you came."

He hadn't given her a single smile since they laid eyes. It was starting to worry Beckett.

She folded and unfolded her arms, busying herself with running her hand through her hair amongst other things. When it dawned on her that they hadn't said a word in five minutes, Beckett firmly put down her hands to her sides. Beckett looked up at him, hiding her surprise when she saw that he was already looking at her.

"I was never going to see you again." Beckett blurted out.

Castle looked back at her curiously—the first time he looked to be his old self again. "What made you change your mind?" He asked evenly.

There was blockage in Beckett's throat and she struggled to keep her voice steady.

"I need my partner. I—I miss him, and I want him back."

She caught him smiling. And he didn't stop. His smile grew wider and bigger, until it relaxed into that smile.

The smile he saved for her.

"He misses you more, Beckett."

An unfamiliar feeling aroused in Beckett but at the same time, the all too familiar emotion of anger sparked. "But I don't deserve that."

Castle leaned forward to catch her words. When he was able to, the smile remained in place but there was an addition of confusion to it.

"You shouldn't miss me more. You shouldn't miss me at all. You shouldn't be smiling at me." Beckett continued, her eyes flashing. "God, Castle."

"Are you telling me what to feel now?" Castle asked in disbelief. "What is it that you want me to say or do?"

Beckett shook her head. "You're not hearing me, Castle."

"Beckett, I don't understand what you want. Please, tell me. Because I don't know what else to do." The smile disappeared completely, and a cross look took its place. His eyebrows met and his mouth twisted in frustration. "Why do I feel like you're always trying to push me away?"

She dropped her mouth to declare a reply, and all that came out was air. Beckett mashed her lips together. "You think I don't want you in my life?"

"A month ago, yeah, it crossed my mind." He replied bitingly. "Remember? You wouldn't even answer my calls."

"That was a month ago. And that was my mistake." Beckett said. "But now I'm here."

"Okay, then why are you doing this?" Castle practically yelled. "I'm trying, Beckett, but you're making everything so hard."

"I'm not." She felt tears well up in her eyes. "I'm just… I'm trying to show you what other things are possible for you if you don't choose this—if you don't choose me."

"I choose you. I want you. I lo—" Castle cut off hastily. Beckett's heart paused at the broken word and she found his eyes again. A sharp pang hit her, looking at the intense hurt that filled them. "I backed off so you would get to this point. I would have waited longer if I had to. I would have done anything, Beckett. Anything."

Beckett choked on her words. "I don't deserve you."

He stared at her hopelessly before taking a gigantic step closer. Their bodies were less than an inch apart. Castle's chest heaved up and down quickly. Beckett kept her head down, but she knew how near they were. She was mad at herself for hurting him again, but Castle had to know how she felt. No matter how much she loved him, Beckett couldn't help but think that maybe he needed to see the bigger picture. It pained her to think that this conversation could be the reason he walked away, but it left her with no choice.

"That's the truth. I blamed you because you were easy to. I made you feel like crap when you didn't deserve to feel that way. I bitched about how my problems are the center of the universe and that you had to tiptoe around my feelings so I wouldn't fall into a black hole. I acted like I'm the victim here." Beckett said, every word heavily highlighted. "And yet you face me today and say these wonderful things and I can't—"

Castle took her by the shoulders, inching her forward, eliminating what little space they had between. Beckett didn't jerk at his touch. She felt his hot breath hitting her face, but she refused to raise her eyes. "Would it make you feel better if I hated you for what happened? Or if I tell you that you deserve to feel how you feel right now?

Beckett couldn't bear to look at him. Her body was limp; defeated. The only thing steadying her was Castle.

Their lack of words that still equalled to perfect understanding was baffling to others, but completely natural to them. And it never failed. Castle took her silence as a no—he was right. His hands rubbed her shoulders and in a gentle voice, he said, "No. You won't be happy. I won't be happy. Let's… let's not go there, Kate, because we both know what we really want."

He lifted her face with his finger gently, sweeping the lock of hair behind her ear as he did. Beckett had no option but to look at him, feeling the rush of emotions as she witnessed the tenderness triumphantly gleaming in his blue eyes. She tried to search for that buried anger or masked contempt that she still thought he was harbouring.

Castle smiled lightly, and his hands grazed her waist as they came down. "I won't lie; the scariest thing that ever happened to me was when my mother came out of the room wearing her best interpretation of Lady Gaga." He laughed, and so did Beckett.

Beckett tentatively chose to let her negative feelings go. She had decided not long ago to close herself off from relationships—thinking that some things can be unforgivable. Maybe there's some truth in that. But in her case, it was herself she couldn't forgive. And it was high time she started to.

Castle tipped his face to her. "But not knowing whether or not I was going to see you again was pretty scary, too."

Beckett's eyes darted to his lips, then quickly returned to his gaze. "I'm sorry, Castle. I'm really sorry for everything that's happened. I was wrong."

"Do you wish you'd done things differently?"

"Definitely."

"Me too."

"You didn't do anything."

"Exactly. It's what I didn't do that's eating me up." He replied seriously. "If given the chance, I would go back and do one thing: punch Josh in the face."

The laugh came out of nowhere. It came out as a surprise. Beckett stifled her laughter with her hand. She turned and saw that Castle was grinning. "We could still do that, you know." Beckett suggested and a smile settled.

They had come apart as the previous moment was lost. Castle, still, grinning, edged closer, and said, "I'd probably get assault charges while they'll simply justify your actions. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, right?" He said. "Then I'd go to prison for years."

"I'd get you out, remember?"

They smiled at each other as the two fondly recalled that brief moment.

"So, what did I miss?" Castle asked naturally, but there was a soulful look on his face.

"Cases. But I've got piles on my desk, don't worry. I'm sure you're aching to share your profound theories with me, Castle."

"Oh, I missed out on a lot more than that." He replied. "Do you know how hard it is to find a muse these days?"

Beckett grinned. "I didn't know I was off the job."

"No, not like that. You know, while we were… apart, I attempted to go into a wild search for a woman—"

"—or a man."

"—who would at least have some, if not all, qualities of the extraordinary KB."

It was hard not to blush whenever Castle opened his mouth. So Beckett took the wheel and made it her game. "Did you? Find someone?"

Castle shook his head. "Nope." Then he shrugged playfully. "Not even close."

How he sneaked his arms around her body was a complete enigma to Beckett. Their bodies pushed against each other, their chests rose and fell as one. Despite the 18 degree temperature, Beckett felt hot, and the smouldering look Castle was giving her didn't help one bit. If she tiptoed, she would meet his lips. And that would be, so far, the only right thing she did. "There is nothing as good as Kate Beckett. Or as beautiful. Or as smart. Badass. Charming. Sassy. Sexy." He murmured. "Yeah, sexy fits you well."

Beckett laughingly threw her arms around him for a hug and he received her warmly, pressing his face against her hair. Beckett rested her chin on his shoulder contently, a smile spreading on her face. Castle lifted her off the ground for a few seconds to get her off her tiptoes. When she came back down, her face was flushed with excitement.

Castle saw it and smiled. His arms were securely circled around her waist. The way he looked down on her made Beckett's heart flutter and she realized she had the modern-day fairytale people dreamt to have

"Rick, there's something I should have said to you a long time ago." Her heart quickened. "I-I… I lov—"

Castle, sensing her nervousness, stepped in. He gathered her again in his arms, bringing his lips to her forehead. "I know, Kate. I know." His kisses trailed to the side of her eyes and to her cheeks before he looked deeply into her. "You're nervous—I am too. Look, you're shaking."

"You and your attention to detail." She grumbled jokingly, the color coming back to fill her face. "It feels like high school, doesn't it?"

"I wouldn't know. I mean, I've always been the charmer. Don't know what it's like to be on the other end." Castle said, sarcasm and boast in his voice.

"Snake charmer, you mean?"

"Ah, Detective Beckett, I almost forgot how your jokes are intended for my agony."

"Please." Beckett swatted his shoulder lightly. "That was a good one, admit it."

Castle lowered his face again and his voice dropped to a husky level. "I will admit that I feel the same way about you. That is all there is to it."

"Spoken like a true poet."

Castle kissed her forehead again, but longer this time, and more longingly. Beckett's hands found a comfortable place on his shoulders as she closed her eyes in bliss. She had no idea why people needed anything else to get high when they could find someone like Castle. Beckett was on cloud nine, and she loved it.

Closed the case, got Castle back… it was a damn good day.

"I still have to lose the belly flab." Castle said and smiled. "Why don't we postpone our jog to today? I'll see you later?"

Beckett nodded affirmatively. "Sounds like a plan to me." She put her hand on Castle's back, like he did, and they walked to her car. The cold had gotten to them.

"Remind me to get maintenance to bring your chair back from storage." Beckett told Castle.

"What? You had my chair taken away?"

"Sorry. It didn't help me with no one sitting there."

"Well, you won't have to worry about that."

"Indeed, I won't."

Castle beat her to the car door. "No, no, I'm driving. I will be the perfect gentleman this afternoon." He ushered her to the passenger side, opening the door for her.
"I am opening doors, Beckett. This is no act of any sort."

Beckett thought it was adorable, and she placed a kiss on his inflamed cheek before getting inside. She watched as Castle almost slipped and flattened himself to the street while he was hurrying to the other side. She giggled when he finally joined her in the car. She loved everything about him. Anyone's argument is invalid, nullified and or void.

Sitting in the car, with Castle beside her was the best feeling in the world. She didn't want that to change—simply didn't want to.

Beckett was glad she let her walls down. Even it was enough only for Castle to climb over. It was the beginning of something new, but it didn't have to be scary for her. She had Castle by her side.

No regrets. Just love.