~Author's Note~

Yeah, so this was a little straight forward and it's my first time with zadr so give me some credit. Feedback is much appreciated.

Zim stumbled into his house. Wig smoking and bruises all over his green skin, he hobbled past a thankfully sleeping Gir and flushed himself down the 'toilet'. Entering his secret base, Zim let the system clean him up like it always did. Day after day after month after month...Zim groaned. "The only thing standing between ZIM and VICTORY is that filthy pig boy..."

He was now hurtling down towards the main computer. "I will show him...show him PAIN!" Zim balled his fists. He would conquer this disgusting mud ball no matter what! Striding over he sat down and began tapping away at his computer, letting himself zone out.

How long had this gone on? Zim was now in Hi-Skool and still the humans were not bowing down to him! HIM! The almighty ZIM! Zim could feel the anger boiling up inside. It was all Dib's fault. Dib had somehow managed to thwart him at every turn.

Zim let his thoughts roll around in his head wile idly searching the internet for information on the humans. At one point Zim got so angry that he slammed his fis onto the keyboard causing him to search a random subject.
"Eeh?" Zim stared at the screen. He didn't understand. What was this human word...sex?

Dib trudged to Skool the next morning with his sister Gaz. He hadn't gotten much sleep last night, too busy trying to figure out new ways into Zim's base. If he could just get past those stupid gnomes...it would be a peice of cake. "Mm! Sweet delicious cake!" he said aloud to himself.

Gaz punched him in the side without looking up from her new Game Slave. "Dib! You're doing it again!" Dib could hear the hint in her voice that if he tried distracting her again he would show up to skool looking half dead. Rubbing the spot she punched him, Dib winced. That was were Zim had tackled him the other day when Dib had tried snapping photos of his house. Thinking of Zim made Dib growl inwardly.

As long as Zim remained a threat, Dib would not rest to stop him. Even if none of his other classmates seemed to care.

Saying goodbye to Gaz, he turned to go to class. Zim was standing right in his way.

"Zim! Move I have to get to homeroom-"

"Silence Dib-smell!" Zim stood with his hadns on his hips, fake contacts glittering.

Dib prepared himself for another fight but instead Zim held his ground. "What is it Zim? Might as well get it over with, I'll kick your ass either way."

To Dib's surprise Zim said nothing. Instead he stepped closer.

"Silly Dib-thing, Zim has no time to waste with stupid fighting. Today Zim requires knolage."

Dib stared at him. "What?"

As Zim took another step Dib jerked back. Zim glared at him and stated loudly, "Zim requires that you explain sex."

Dib fell silent. A few seconds past, then he exploaded, "Why the hell would you want to know that? I-Er-Zim you-" Zim stared at him confused.

"Why does the Dib monkey turn bright red?" he asked pointing at Dib's flushed face. Then he grinned, "Are you exploding? Is that what sex is?"

Dib pushed Zim into the boy's bathroom not caring about the late bell. Furiously he snarled at Zim, "What was all that about?"

Zim dusted himself off, "What was what filthy hyuman? Zim only requested from you a piece of information, or is that too much to ask from your giant smelly head?" Dib grit his teeth, "Zim, you can't just talk about...sex in public."

"Why? Is it some sort of secret weakness of the hyumans?" Zim's eyes lit up. "I must KNOW!" Right as he was dashing out Dib grabbed him and yanked him back. He decided it was better to just tell the damn alien before he got them both in trouble. Quietly Dib explained the basic idea.

Zim seemed repulsed. "You mean you stick each other's filthy ORGANS inside each other?" "Well yeah, the guy will to the girl. Then after a while you know...he will release his DNA into her so the egg will be fertilized and she can have a baby."

"Why not save the trouble and mix the DNA separately?"

"Well, i guess some do that...but it feels amazing. Or so I've heard...that's why some humans have sex just for that feeling."

"Hmm..." Zim thought about this. "Well. The AMAZING Zim has some thinking to do." And with that he strode out of the bathroom. Dib shuddered.
Did he just make a big mistake?

Dib looked warily around for Zim the next day but didn't see him. Just as he was sighing in relief, he heard a voice behind him, "Hello Dib." Dib whirled around to face him.

"Yes Zim...?" he snarled.

"I have done some research on your filthy reproduction rituals, and I must say Zim is quite surprised." his arms were crossed and his eyes were glinting dangerously.

"Surprised...?"

"Yes. Zim did not know hyumans were so...weak."

"Weak?" Dib didn't like where this was going. Zim stepped closer.

"Your so called hormones, especially in your praticular age group..." Zim backed Dib up against a wall.

"Z-Zim this isn't funny! Move-" Zim ran a claw up Dib's neck causing him to arch it as Zim reached his chin. A devilish grin spread accross his face.

He flicked his snake like tongue over dib's cheek. It turned a rosy red.

Dib put his hands square on Zim's chest and shoved him away to the floor. "What the hell Zim?" Flustered Dib as he ran hurridly to his next class.