How to Respect Aizen Sousuke

By SuperYuuki Aizen Sousuke

A Message from the Author

Ha-ha-ha, hello minions, it is I, the great and omnipotent Aizen Sousuke. This message is intended for mainly my Espada, but I recommend that all you lowly Soul Reapers read it, too. There has been an ongoing streak of disrespect around here, and I am putting a stop to it, once and for all.

Yes, Grimmjow, I am talking about you.

Remember, I own you,

Aizen Sousuke

Section ONE: GENERAL RULES

It is tea time when I say it is tea time. Not in five minutes, not in a few hours, NOW.

Nnoitra, we understand that you hate Nelliel Tu Oderschwank, but she's been gone for a century, it's time to stop declaring such in red paint on the walls. Gin, Tousen, and I spent A LONG TIME refurbishing Las Noches, and we don't appreciate the wall art.

Loud arguing disrupts my beauty sleep. So, Grimmjow, stop randomly attacking Ulquiorra. You know you'll get PWNed anyways so why even try?

That goes for you two, also, Apache and Mila-Rose.

Don't dis the hair curl. I will smite you.

Gin, for the last time, I do not love you. I am straight, gosh darn it! I thought you were with Rangiku, anyways.

Where did you even get that idea?

Lilinette, that sentence should never be spoken ever again. Where did you even hear that?

Ggio, dressing all in black doesn't make you a ninja.

Ggio, the walls are all white. Black just makes you stand out more. You'd have more success in your uniform.

Starrk, falling asleep in other peoples' beds does give us ideas. I understand that you get tried easily, but please try to pass out in your own bedroom.

Ggio, I can still see you.

Ggio, Tousen can see you, and he's blind.

Findor, stop it with the Hanna Montana songs. Those songs were lame when they were cool.

For crying out loud, Gin, I do NOT want to have hot gay sex with you!

Yes, Szayel, we know what the name of your Zanpakuto means, but that doesn't give you the authority to make people sleep with you. You're not getting any, Szayel, face it.

To Loly and Menoly, I have no affection for ugly sluts like you. Get it through your thick heads. Never have, never will.

You are to return those magazines to the World of the Living at once, Nnoitra.

That was disgusting, Charlotte Chuulhorne.

No, Halibel, we do not ogle you 24/7. If you care that much, wear something less revealing.

Barragan, I hate you too.