Title: Of Bars and Baked Goods

Characters: Steve McGarrett, Danny Williams

Rating: K+ because there's a couple of swear words. And because there's alcohol.

Summary: Steve and Danny get drunk and there's talk of baked goods and why Steve is a time bender.

Author's Note: I got the idea for this from a post from 5-0 texts from last night, which is a Tumblr blog that I adore. This isn't letting me link to it, but if you've seen the blog, and you can recognize what I got it from, cookie for you. Except there's no actual screaming match because I suck.

Warning: Unbeta-d, short, and probably really bad because I suck at writing well-thought out fics.

Spoilers: Any time in Season One, really.

Word Count: 867

"Gah!" Steve shuddered as he gulped down a shot of whiskey. He and Danny had gone to the bar down the street from HQ to celebrate a case well done. Chin and Kono had tagged along as well, but they left hours ago, right before Steve and Danny got too drunk.

Which, Steve was, but Danny wasn't. Yet.

"Can ya handle another one, SuperSEAL?" Danny asked with a toothy grin. Steve was a little jealous of how much alcohol the blonde detective could take. Steve was well past the stage of drunk, and Danny was slowly getting there. Unless this high tolerance for alcohol was from all the beer he drank from the divorce. He shook that thought out of his head.

"I can, I bet you can't." Competitive at the core.

A half hour later and Danny was finally drunk. The first three buttons of his work shirt were undone, the tie had been gone since he gulped his first beer. Danny looked well and truly comfortable.

And drunk.

Steve had stopped drinking after his second shot of whiskey, not because he didn't want a hangover, but because he knew his limit and really, if Danny is going to keep drinking, at least one of them needs to be semi-conscious when the taxi swung by.

"What time s'it?" Danny slurred, twirling his class in his hand. Steve glanced around for a clock, thanking the heavens it was digital because he doesn't think he could read an analog clock right now.

"Twelve fifteen."

Danny nodded, and Steve's pretty sure he doesn't remember even asking for the time. The bartender came by and eyed them, asking Danny if he wanted a refill.

"Just water please. I think m'drunk enough." Well at least he didn't have to get cut off. The bartender looked expectantly at Steve who just shook his head.

Turning around in his stool, Steve looked out at the patrons. This bar was a popular spot, known for its wild parties and strange customers, but it had a relaxed, almost home-like feel to it. Unless that was just because there were two huge televisions in the corners showing two different ball games.

"Whatcha looking at?" Danny asked when he finally noticed that Steve wasn't looking at him any more. Steve shrugged.

"Just checking out the game."

"Who's winning?"

"My team," Steve teased.

"Fucker," Danny groaned and pushed himself around so he was facing the same way Steve was. "I swear next to your Jedi-Ninja SEAL tricks, you bend time too."

Chuckling, Steve looked at Danny. "Really?" At Danny's nod he continued, "How do you figure?"

"Well for one thing, my team never loses. And then you make this big bet that the opposing team is surely going to kick my team's ass – despite your team having a terrible performance record – and look," he waved his arms towards the screen, "your team is winning, mine is losing. So somehow you stopped time, swam like a fish to the coast, adjusted everyone on your team so they could win, and swam back to gloat. Time bender."

Steve laughed. "Okay Danny, whatever you say."

"Damn right whatever I say." A commercial came onto the screen, announcing a new bakery's delights and Danny snorted. "Oh look, they sell cupcakes and muffins. How delightful."

"What, now you have a thing against cupcakes and muffins? What have they ever done to you Danny?"

"Nothing, but I don't see the point in there being a muffin and a cupcake when clearly, they are the same thing."

Steve looked at Danny oddly and rubbed a hand over his face, wondering just how drunk his friend was. "Danny, they're not the same thing."

Danny glared at Steve. "Oh yes they are Steven, yes they are, they are the same thing, except one is called a cake that fits in a cup and the other was given this fucking ridiculous name because they can't say 'breakfast cupcake.'"

"They're not even close to being the same. I mean, one is made from cake batter, and the other is made from a special mix."

"So you're telling me that if a icing-less cupcake and a muffin were set in front of you you'd be able to tell the difference," he snapped his fingers, "just like that."

Steve was too drunk to be dealing with this right now. "Yes, I would be able to tell," he mocked the shorter man by snapping his fingers, "just like that. They have different textures and smell differently."

Danny looked over at Steve with wide eyes. "They smell differently? I didn't realize that you smelled bakery items, dear. How great, they 'smell differently, Danny, that's why they're different, okay, it's their scent.'" He shook his head and wiped his hands on his pants. "I'm too drunk to make a good comeback for that, so I'm just going to pay the tab and go."

Steve laughed, glee shining in his eyes, "Did Danno just walk away from an argument because he didn't have a better comeback?"

Danny drunkenly glared at Steve. "Yes. I walked away because I had nothing stupider to throw back to a Navy SEAL that sniffs baked goods to tell their difference."

-fin-