Author's Note! I got slightly bored so I did what any well-adjusted college student does when she's got a mountain of homework to do and has absolutely no interest in the sociological implications of online dating. I wrote fanfiction.

Also, I feel you should know. I listened to cheatercheaterbestfriendeater nine times in a row while writing this. The only reason it took so long was because I invented several awesome dance moves too. I'm a busy lady.

If I owned Hetalia, America would take over the world and Iggy would eat burgers.

England goes first!

"No."

"Come on, England!"

"No!"

"Dude, it's one dare!"

"God damn it, no, no, no, I am NOT streaking through the building!"

The countries all groaned and rolled their eyes.

"Iggy, dude," America reasoned. "If you don't do the first dare, France gets to take you into the closet for two minutes."

"WHAT? Who made that stupid bloody rule! That's a totally different game!" England was turning very, very red and Francis licked his lips.

"England-san," Japan said quietly. "If you take off your clothes, I promise I will look away."

England looked at all the nations on the floor. Francis was chuckling hungrily to himself and Poland absently braided Lithuania's hair. Italy was settling himself into a blushing Germany's lap while Spain tried to pull Romano into his, laughing. Prussia complained loudly about American beer and America laughed and gestured wildly, almost smacking an invisible Canada in the face with his bottle. Russia... Russia just was, okay? Don't make me tell you what he was doing.

England looked back at Japan, who placed a small white hand in front of his eyes. "It's not you I'm worried about."

"Omigawd England, you're, like, a total party pooper!" Lithuania winced a little as Poland accidentally tugged his hair too tight.

"Really, amigo, is it that big a deal?"

"Just get it over with, dude!"

"Ve! Streaking is fun! You'll like it!"

"It's gotta be better than getting in the closet with France, kesesese!"

"Hey! I do not remember you complaining last Christmas, you Prussian fool!"

"I will take you to the closet, da? You will become one with Mother Russia?"

"GAH! STOP!" The nations quit chattering and looked up at England expectantly.

"I hereby invoke the writ of the Triple Dog Dare!" Everyone gasped as England pointed at France. "Francis P. Bonnefoy, on your honor I Triple Dog Dare you to spend two minutes in the closet with Russia!"

Francis went white.

"All in favor?" America asked authoritatively.

"Ja."

"Totally!"

"Ve!"

"Hai."

"Si!"

"Da."

"Yes?"

"Fuck. Sure."

"Yeah..."

"AWESOME!"

"All opposed?"

"Nay! Come on, don't make me go into the closet with Russia!"

"Francis Bonnefoy, the court rules ten to one in England's favor. Your two minutes starts when the door closes." America smacked his beer bottle against the hardwood floor like a gavel and the nations applauded politely and congratulated each other on a successful hearing.

Russia smiled sweetly and picked France up with one arm, slinging him over his broad shoulder. France cried tears of rugged bravery.

"Whew," England sighed. "That was close."

"Not quite," America said under his breath as everyone watched the screaming closet door. "I'm still gonna find a way to see that tattoo."

England gulped.

Couldn't help it. Little bit of USUK for me :D

Leave comments about who should go next and I will ignore all but the coolest. Winners get hugs. Virtual hugs. Enjoy.