Shoutout to

Luc500: I am back! It feels quite nostalgic. Thank you so much. I crack myself up sometimes. I'm glad you enjoy the fluff because there is more to come. Every review is appreciated. If you just want to tell me what you like/ could be better about this chapter in particular, go for it :)

Shinobi of the Hidden leaf: This made me laugh. It probably would have been less effort to say " good story" or " I like it" But whatever floats your boat. Glad you want more :)

…

Tenten stood outside of the large gray building wondering how a building dedicated to encouraging people could look so depressing. As she could see it, she had two option. She could barge in, throw a kunai or two at Neji's face, and leave, or she could walk in demurely and challenge him to a fight to the death. As she was mulling over these two equally tempting choices, a third option occurred to her and a slow smile spread across her face. She was going to call him on the hotline. This was the prank to end all pranks

…

Naruto was not excited about leaving Hinata with Sasuke, but a begrudging part of the Kyuubi's large heart had trusted Sasuke after his insistence. Naruto was dogmatic in his belief in his friends. They hadn't given up on him when everyone else had, so why should he? On second thought, to tell the truth, they hadn't always been the kindest to him, but at least they'd always acknowledged him. Although technically for Sakura that meant punching him for every silly thing he said and for Sasuke that meant glaring at him and calling him a dobe. But, hey, existence was a definite step up from nonexistence. Then, of course, there was Hinata. Even the stupid ramen contest hadn't been enough to shake her faith in him. She was the epitome of kindness. An errant thought scampered across his brain that maybe he should take a leaf out of Sasuke's book, but everything in him screamed in rejection of this traitorous thought.

Low words from Tenten caught his attention and shook him from thoughts that were too deep for him anyway.

"I'm struggling. I don't know how to hang on." He stiffened. What was she talking about?
" I've tried for so long, but he just doesn't respect me. I'm not sure… I'm not sure anyone respects me."

There was a pause as someone on the other end of the line replied to her. Dammit why couldn't he see her face? She sounded like she was in serious trouble. He thought frantically back to any conversations he'd had with her. Granted, they'd been limited. He was pretty sure the extent of the topics they'd exhausted were Ramen and weapons— their respective specialties. Had she ever sounded depressed when explaining to him the proper technique to sharpen a shuriken?

" I've tried everything to make him see, but all I am is a training partner to him. I could disappear and leave my existence to Lee for all it matters. I think I should just give up. I don't know why I haven't before." This conversation had clearly gotten out of hand, and whoever it was on the other line may as well have been a prodigious hunk of uselessness. (Only God knew how accurate this summary was). There was only one person Naruto could think of to fix this mess. Sakura Haruno. "Sorry, Sasuke," he apologized sheepishly. Sasuke's plan would have to wait. This was a matter of life and death.

…

Tenten had to bite her lip to keep from laughing. Think of Shino, Tenten. Think of Sakura's face when you told her you were leaving. Think of that feeling when the weapon you ordered with two day shipping doesn't get there until three days later. Think of anything, just do not laugh!

" I've tried for so long, but he just doesn't respect me. I'm not sure… I'm not sure anyone respects me," she said, enunciating each word carefully so that she could channel the feeling behind what she was saying.

" I'm sure he…whoever he is… respects you more than you know," came Neji's stilted reply. He forsook the script in his shock at actually having to answer the phone. He had successfully avoided having to talk to anyone thus far by just letting the phone ring, but apparently some idiot had specifically requested to be put through to him. He couldn't damn well leave it ringing with the doe eyed receptionist's gaze lingering on his biceps before she left. Stupid fangirls.

"I've tried everything to make him see, but all I am is a training partner to him. I could disappear and leave my existence to Lee for all it matters. I think I should just give up. I don't know why I haven't before." Tenten was surprised at how easy it was to feel sad as she voiced her feelings. Where was this coming from? She knew she was important to Neji. He had complimented her attacks many times.

" Wait a minute," Neji said suspiciously, " Tenten?"

" No." she said curtly. A drop trickled down her nose and into her parted lips. She had to work to keep the bitterness from creeping into her voice.

"Tenten, be serious," he said, annoyed now.

" I am as serious as Sasuke Uchiha," she retorted.

"Okay, now I really know you're Tenten."

"I'm not. Can you just listen?"

"…"

"I don't know how to survive this." Silence reigned supreme for a moment. He heaved a sigh. Clearly, she was in some strange mood, and he was not going to dissuade her with the suggestion of training. The disturbing thought that she might actually be telling the truth— that his emotional unavailability had driven her to insanity—crossed his mind, and he wished he could use his byakugan to see her thoughts. Little did he know that he already possessed that power in a well kept human secret called listening.

" You have survived many things before this Tenten. You will survive." Well, at least he remembered three words from the script.

" That's just the thing, I don't know if I will." She was starting to scare him. The despondency hit a little too close to home as he thought of his anger, sadness, and hurt at the pure coldness of his uncle once when he was too young to understand. That was before the bighearted clown that was Naruto Uzumaki had taught him about forgiveness. He had not learned about compassion yet, though. Naruto wasn't a miracle worker after all.

"Tenten, where are you?" She froze. Kuso! He could not discover her outside the building. As much as she had wanted to freak him out, the plan had been for him to exit the building and find her cracking up in his face. Those insolent tear ducts of hers had not been compliant. "Make it rain a little harder, why don't you?" she muttered to herself, irritated. A thin sheen of concern had broken through the veil and colored Neji's of training with Neji had made her hypersensitive to his tones. She'd even been able to tell that he was upset about his dog dying before he knew it himself. She knew she had worried him, but if he discovered her crying, humiliation, not triumph, would be the direct result.

"I missed that." Neji said.

"That's not the only thing you've missed, you bastard," she thought testily, but said only, "Never mind, Neji." Her phone shut with a click. She turned to leave with a heavy heart, very aware that, once again, he had bested her at her own game.

"Kuso," he cursed and activated his byakugan, running out of the building and wondering how he had managed to lose his first battle with Tenten without even knowing that they were fighting.

…

After desperately asking around for what felt like hours, Naruto finally found Sakura in the corner of the local multiplex pharmacy. She was examining a little white box. He tripped over his feet and landed on his face when he realized what it was.

"SAKURA CHAN! WHY ARE YOU LOOKING AT PREGNANCY TESTS?"

Sakura glanced up nonchalantly from the directions she was examining. " Because I threw up an hour ago, and I haven't eaten anything weird." came the far too even keeled reply. "Why do you have a black eye?" Naruto's jaw hit the ground. How could she say that so casually? Frantic thoughts of Tenten, which had been at the forefront of his brain just minutes ago, were replaced by frantic thoughts of Sakura and her impending baby.

"Sasuke punched me. But… wha… Does sasuke know?" He spluttered. His hands swiped the box from her to examine it for himself. The ominous object felt far too light in his large hands. It was ironic that a matter so weighty could be contained in such an unassuming container. The information that his best friends may well have moved from lovers to parents in the span of 24 hours was a bit too much for the poor demon fox carrier.

"No, he doesn't, but I was going to go tell him now." She clicked her tongue at him, "Naruto, why were you and Sasuke fighting again? I swear you're just like children. Can't keep it to the training ground." Despite the lecture, her hands moved to hone cooling chakra over his sore eye.

Naruto examined her with his one open eye. " Is that why you decided you should have children with him? Because he's so effing mature?" Her lips thinned, and her eyes flashed at him.

" We didn't decide anything, Naruto. To be honest… To be honest, I'm not sure how he'll respond. So… I was actually wondering if you would be the godfather. Because no child should grow up without people who love them." Her hand touched her stomach lightly.

Naruto stood there, dumbfounded and frozen.

Sakura sighed and took the test kit back from the immobile boy. "You're right. It's probably too much to ask. Never mind. Did you have something you wanted to tell me? Everything all right with Hinata?"

So many replies ran through Naruto's head at that moment that it was an incredible feat for him not to short circuit and keel over. " Sakura," he managed to choke out. " I would be honored to be the godfather. But… I think Sasuke's going to be happier than you think. I mean he's always said he wants to rebuild his clan, and I guess you kind of need babies for that. Or a baby… I don't know." He scratched his head. "Anyway, I actually did come to tell you something, Sakura."

"Hmm?" She nodded absentmindedly, comparing the price of two kits.

" I think Tenten might be a danger to herself." he said quietly.

The white box fell from Sakura's hands and hit her toe. "OW! Dammit. Why do you say that Naruto?" She crouched down to examine her toe and glared up at him.

The multiplex was strangely empty. Perhaps its usual patrons had forsaken their toiletry needs for their own pranking schemes. Still, Naruto wished that there were more people so there would be witnesses if Sakura chan murdered him. " Well, I was spying on her." she glowered at him, and he hurried through his next words to explain himself, " because I was trying to keep her from helping you to prank Sasuke Teme." Had her eyes just turned from green to black? " But she was calling someone and saying all this stuff about how she didn't think she could survive."

Saukura's expression changed from murderous to concern. " She didn't think she could survive?" What had changed so drastically in the past hour? Had she been too harsh in dismissing Tenten? " Thank you for telling me, Naruto. I'll go find her now." A quick glance over her shoulder told her that Naruto was still lost in thought about being a godfather. A smirk played on her lips. " Don't you dare tell Sasuke, Naruto, or I'll kill you," she left him a parting warning. But, of course, telling Sasuke was exactly what he was going to do.

…

Sasuke felt awkard with Hinata. Sakura balanced him out because she had developed a scarily accurate knack for interpreting his silences and "hns". Also, understanding of the fact that he was emotionally handicapped from childhood, she went to extra effort to explain what she herself was feeling. He would not admit it, but he begrudgingly appreciated this.

He had planned on tying Hinata to the chair just for the purpose of sending Sakura a picture with a dire warning that she must come fight him. However, when the time came, and the rope had been bought, and the Hyuuga heiress was exactly where she needed to be, he couldn't do it. The rope hung limply from his hands, and they were sitting on opposite ends of the couch watching Extreme Ninja makeover. It had been Hinata's idea. Evidently, she also had been uncomfortable with the yards of silence that lay between them.

Sasuke cleared his throat. He had deliberated enough. Now the time had come to compose a text to Sakura to lure her to Naruto's apartment. Before he could put his brilliant plan in motion, however, his phone started ringing. Carmeldansen. Naruto's ringtone. Sakura had changed it, and he had forgotten to change it back.

" What is it, dobe?" he said, already irritated. " Don't tell me you didn't manage to detain one kunoichi."

"Well funny you should mention it…"

" Baka… What did you do?"

" You don't understand, Teme, you should have heard Tenten she needed help, as in girl help, as in help that only Sakura could give because… well, I am guy and—"

" So you not only did not manage to detain Tenten, you sent Sakura after her… To talk about female matters? Did it not occur to you that Ino is also a female?" Sasuke was no more amused than he had been when watching Extreme Ninja Makeover.

"No?" Naruto squeaked, realizing the exact proportion of his failure.

Sasuke sighed. " It appears that I'm going to have to do things myself. As usual. Just don't get in my way, dobe. Why don't you be useful and come get Hinata? I've decided to take Ino hostage instead."

"' What? Sasuke teme!" Naruto spluttered. "You can't just go around taking people hostage left and right. These are people you're talking about not things. And it's probably illegal!"

" A moot point, dobe, as technically I am the police," Sasuke mused.

" Just because you're an Uchiha doesn't mean you get to have things whatever way you want!" Naruto yelled.

" I certainly had my way with Sakura." he smirked. As annoyed as he was at Naruto's idiocy, it was quite diverting to tease the Kyuubi

"GROSS, TEME! SPEAKING OF…YOU'RE DISGUSTING… HAVING YOUR WAY WITH HER…SAKURA IS PREGNANT! SHE'S PREGNANT, YOU TEME, AND I'M GOING TO KILL YOU."

Sasuke choked on the tomato he'd been chewing— because, as you may have surmised, Sakura was not able to destroy all of the tomato plants in Konoha. "What did you just say, Naruto?"

" She. Is. Pregnant. Teme." They both swam around in the ocean of silence. Sasuke was quite familiar with this particular pool of water, but that didn't keep him from drowning just then. Naruto, for his part, was doggypaddling. Finally, Sasuke dragged his head above water and said one word in his usual stoic style, "How?"

" You should know, teme, you did it!" Naruto shouted, indignantly.

His face went red. " Kuso. Once. It happened once. Two weeks ago. We didn't…There wasn't…Kuso!" His cheeks erupted in flames hotter than his fireball jutsu as he realized their fundamental mistake.

"SASUKE! I"M GOING TO K—" Sasuke hung up. Hinata, having watched the whole highly interesting interaction, was very grateful that Sasuke had decided to leave and kidnap Ino. As much as she loved Ino, she had heard Naruto through the phone and was quite sure that if Sasuke stayed, more than an eye would be blackened. His eyes darted over to her and he acknowledged her presence with a gruff, " Hinata,"

" Y-yes, S-sasuke?" Her old tremor returned in full force with her worry over Naruto.

" I'm leaving. Naruto should be here shortly."

"O-okay. B-be careful, Sasuke."

"Hnn," He agreed. Hinata truly was a kind individual. She expressed concern for him in spite of his previous intent on holding her hostage. The tidings that Naruto had finally asked her out had gladdened everyone, not excluding Sasuke. Perhaps she would be the one to finally tame his wild spirit. Although, he thought with a small smile, where would the fun be in that? With a brief salute to the Hyuuga, Sasuke jumped out the window. This was a surprising, albeit not completely unwelcome surprise. Still, Sasuke was not one to give up. That was his stolen, completely unoriginal ninja way.

…

"You can run, but you can't hide," is a good summary of the Byakugan, Tenten thought grimly from her spot in the bush. Neji had followed her to the training grounds and was respectfully standing in front of her hiding spot, refusing to subject her to the indignity of being dragged from the brush. However, his tapping foot gave away his impatience.

"Tenten," he said finally.

" What?" she said. Cursing herself for the way her voice broke, she tried again. "What?" she spat, venomously. The bush rustled.

"I…" He paused, unsure what was required of him in this situation. A deep exhale blew from his mouth. " I'm sorry that you do not feel you can survive this situation. I hope that…together… we can find a way to change that."

She emerged, pushing herself off the ground and standing to face him. He took in her disheveled appearance and noticed with dismay that there were tear stains on her face. A solitary leaf that had been clinging to her pants drifted downward and landed at her feet.

" What do you propose?" she asked, eyeing him warily. With his eyes, he implored her not to make him say it— wished it could be enough for her to just know it. Although, if she did know what he was referring to, it was curious that she was behaving this way.

"Tenten, you cannot forsake your existence. Your importance is of a different sort to me than Lee's. You cannot be replaced." He said, watching carefully to see if she understood the implications of what he was trying to convey.

" Because my chakra control is better than his?" Tenten guessed sourly.

" No, Tenten, you are important to me," he said simply.

" Because I have more scrolls than he does." Was she trying to nettle him so?

" I don't care about your scrolls or your chakra control. You are important to me, Tenten isn't that enough?"

" No, it isn't Neji! It's not enough. Sakura and Sasuke, Naruto and Hinata, Ino and Shikamaru—everyone is making progress but us. Dammit, Neji, I even saw Shino out on a date the other day, and he looked like he was having a great time. I can't stay frozen in this time capsule where you've put me where we're training partners for life. I need more than that. Something. Anything! If you can't," she paused. A single solitary tear wove down her cheek in starry spangles. " If you can't, I'm leaving. Moving on because I can't exist like this anymore."

Just then Sakura came crashing onto the training grounds. Dusk had set in, but it was still very clear to the kunoichi that Tenten was distraught. "Neji," she acknowledged him as she put her arm around Tenten. " Come on, Tenny. Let's go play that game of soccer you were talking about." Tenten leaned heavily on Sakura, but it was nothing her superhuman strength couldn't handle.

Neji watched them as they began to walk into the sun, leaving him in darkness.

" Tenten," he called out after her. She turned her head slightly.

" I'll be here tomorrow. 9 a.m. Meet me."

"Why?" she challenged him.

"I need you. Training." She smiled sadly and didn't respond. Fear and uncertainty gripped his heart. This hurt more than a gentle fist to the chest. Yet, still, he could not bring himself to say the only words that would have brought her back to him. I love you.

…

Sasuke had suspected that Ino would be less cooperative than the gentle fist wielding Hyuuga mistress, but nothing could have prepared him for exactly how uncooperative she would be. Namely the fact that as soon as he had set foot in her door and said her name in greeting, she had done her mind transfer jutsu and taken over his body. Needless to say, it is difficult to hold someone hostage who has imprisoned you in your own body.

" Hi, Sasuke kun!" Ino said cheerily, using his arms to lift her body and put it on her bed. She stepped gingerly over a discarded shirt and dress to stand in front of the mirror and survey him in the mirror. "You haven't changed a bit, Sasuke kun. I'm so glad you stopped by," She purred.

" Get out of my body, Ino," Sasuke commanded, his voice acerbic. " I have things to do."

" Oh, you mean like pranking Sakura? Whoops, looks like you won't be able to do that! You know I've always wanted to know what it feels like to be in your body. I know Naruto's cloned you before, but it's different to actually be in your body."

"Ino," he hissed, " Get out of my body right now, or I will make life very difficult for you."

" Oh yeah? I doubt that, Sasuke. In fact, I think I'm going to have some fun with this," she replied. Under her control his hands and lips blew a kiss at the mirror. His soul cringed. " In fact, I think the fun should start now. Want to go dancing in the street, Sasuke?" she laughed.

" Ino," he warned, his voice blacker than his eyes.

"I'll take that as a yes." She winked at his reflection and jumped out her window.

…