-Zim-

For weeks my basement lab has been empty. I hadn't set foot downstairs for what seemed like forever. Now the normally clean space was filled with papers, notes, and Wikipedia pages I had printed out from the human's internet. My brain felt like it was overheating from exertion, which my PAK confirmed. No longer could I simply download information, I had to work for it. Read it, think about it. I was beginning to get tired too, and remembered that because my 'normal' processes were coming back online meant that I had to sleep to recharge.

There was so much information to gain. So many different emotions, but the most interesting was the thing called "Love". Hours were flying by as I researched, talked to the Computer, and studied human anatomy. This fascination with hearts- Valentine's day, boxes of chocolate- doesn't have anything to do with the emotion center in a brain! It was all very confusing.

Humans had so many rites of passage, so many rituals that had to be preformed for the simple act of mating. Somehow, they had significance. I could understand the need to touch, that was a part of mating. But holding hands did not serve any purpose! Neither did cuddling, or BUYING things for the other one. Then again, I was the first of my species to even step foot in this territory for perhaps thousands of years. My body had forgotten what it was to mate.

Occasionally I would think back to Dib- what he was doing now and whether or not he hated me. He was most likely in school. It had been at least 40 hours since I last saw him. All that time, spent in the lab researching and stuffing my brain full of things. Every second seemed like an hour, every minute like an eternity of him hating me. I spent the time in agony, the only release being distracting myself with information.

So I studied. I had forgotten about the test-I could always make it up later. I had forgotten to eat. I had forgotten to sleep. I was learning, exploring space unknown and uninteresting before. Meanwhile, my PAK slowly got further and further away from my spinal cord. It frightened me. I was disconnected, floating in a distant planet far away and floating further. I was no longer…me. I didn't know what to do. Because I had…a choice?

I knew one thing, I couldn't tell Dib. At least the part about me doubting my species. About me being banished. I had to hold onto that. Again, I thought of Dib. He wasn't even here, a part of my life no longer. I told him I hated him, despised him. It wasn't true. I wanted to beg him to forget, but I knew I wouldn't. I couldn't. Just thinking of the whole situation made my chest hurt, my breathing shorten. It made my…no, it made me sad.

I was worried, sad, hurt, embarrassed, fretful and disgusted with myself. At least I could name them now. But I didn't move. I didn't move from my chair, I simply laid my head down on the papers and closed my eyes.

I fell into blissful sleep. No emotions, no thoughts and no worries.

I was shocked awake by the computer's voice. "Intruder alert!" It sounded. My head snapped up and I blinked in surprise. Where was I? I had forgotten for a moment before remembering where and what I was. I was downstairs, in the dark. Alone. Even Gir wouldn't talk to me anymore. The computer planted a screen in front of me and I wearily checked to see who, of all people, was at my door.

Dib pounded at the purple slab of wood, a worried look on his face. "Zim, Zim are you in there? Open up! Hey!" I leapt up when I saw him, like a shock going through my body. I didn't really care why he was here. I didn't really care what he was doing, or why he looked worried. All I cared about was him. Being here. Knocking on my door, after I sent him away!

In the back of my mind (Maybe it was my PAK) a little voice told me to ask him for help. He's a genius and his father is a scientist. Maybe he can fix my emotions! They were sending me for quite a confusing ride.

For instance, when I saw Dib I bounded into the elevator and tapped my foot impatiently while I rode up. I quickly flattened my antennas and put a pink hat on over them while I waited. My stomach curled with…anticipation? I was confused, but at the same time strangely happy. The elevator spat me up in the kitchen and I wobbled to the door. My head hurt again, and my squeedlyspooch felt like it was being punched with a dodge ball. When was the last time I ate?

"Dib?" I opened the door slowly, hiding behind it when the light came and blinded my eyes. I blinked a few times and shook my head. It was really, really bright, like the sun was on extra hot today. I looked up to see Dib, and this time I could identify the emotions crossing his face. Confusion, then relief. Then, a tad bit of sadness. His pointy hair, his long black jacket at the way he looked at me with those eyes- I shook my head again. Damn, stupid, inferior emotions. I had to fix this.

"Zim?" He eyed me carefully. "Are you okay?" I nodded. "You're uh…hiding from the light and you don't have your contacts in."

I smiled weakly. It felt like ages since I had heard his voice. "I forgot." With my thoughts whirling and my belly hurting, I didn't even care.

I saw him raise one eyebrow. "You didn't come to school. I thought-since you fainted… I was worried. But you're okay…so-"

"I'm fine physically." I felt a little happier. He was worried about me. Which means he doesn't hate me, on some level.

He frowned. "Well, I was just wondering. So, now you're okay. I'll just…" He turned to leave.

I reached out, squinting from the sudden sunlight, and latched onto his sleeve. "Dib, I really need your help." My shoulder hunched a little, trying to hide my face from the sun. I did spend a lot of time in the lab.

"More math?" He sounded mad that time, spiteful.

"Dib-"

"I can't." He turned and looked at me like I was hurting him. My hand fell from his sleeve limply in surprise. "I can't be here. Seeing you…" He flinched and turned his head. Like I was some kind of monster. Then he started to walk again.

He was leaving. I was seeing his back again.

I can't bear it.

I don't want to see his back!

My knees crumpled as I clutched the door and slid to the floor. I need someone's help…I need his help! Even if it doesn't help, I'd feel better with him here! He's leaving again, leaving me with no air to breath and excess tears to cry.

I felt like I was dying. Rotting, from the inside out.

Why did I need him so much? Why does his sadness, his hate, his anger hurt me?

"Master, you're letting him go ways again." Gir was beside me, touching me lightly. I could only nod numbly, my eyes watering. "I'm sorry."

"Don't say that." I muttered. It wasn't right...it was too final. I watched as Dib turned the corner to go down the street and I clutched the door harder. Like it could keep me from dying inside.

"No Master. That's what you should say. Say you're sorry."

I blinked. And watched as Dib's jacket disappeared behind a house. It was so simple! All this time researching the humans and Gir new more than me! I stumbled up, grabbing the door frame and pushed myself outside. I staggered, weak I think from lack of nutrition. I lurched my way, tripping over my own feet trying to run and I made it to the fence. I could see him again.

I could see his back.

I closed my eyes and opened my mouth.

"I'm sorry!" I paused and put one hand up to hide my eyes from the sun, the red light seemingly burning my eyelids. I was also hiding the wetness that was threatening. "I didn't mean what I said! I was confused and scared and I'm even more scared now and I need you!" I swallowed dryly. It hurt so much, and I swear I was blushing. "Please, don't leave."

Don't leave…the wind tickled my face.

I could hear leaves blow by my feet. I need you.

I was afraid to open my eyes. I can't bear you not being here.

I was afraid to see his back. It hurts without you.

Why was it so bright out? Please. I can't be like this.

Seconds ticked by. My shoulders began to shake. He was gone by now. And I was still standing here, waiting. Stuck in time for something that was past already. I had failed. Again.

A shadow fell over me and I blinked my eyes open. It was…darker? I could finally see and I straightened, peeking over my arm.

Dib was looking at me, his head cocked to the side. I was almost glad he was taller than me, he blocked out the sun perfectly. He had a slight, very slight, smile on his face. "Why did you say that then? Do you really hate me?" His eyes watched me carefully.

I shook my head numbly. I could feel my brain rocking around in there. "I don't hate you. So please don't hate me. I didn't mean anything I said, really." I gave him a look. "Please don't make me grovel."

He smiled wider that time. "Would you? The mighty alien invader Zim would grovel?"

I almost cried when I saw him smile. "Invader's gotta do what an Invader's gotta do."

Dib's eyes crinkled as he looked at me and sighed. "Zim, I can practically see your ribs. When was the last time you ate anything?"

It took my brain a second to catch up. "Eaten…I ate chips with you and Gir."

His eyes widened. "That was a few days ago, you know." His brown eyes bore into mine. "And at first I thought you were blushing, but your whole face is red." He leaned forward and before I could move, he moved my hat and put his forehead on mine.

My body didn't respond to me as I closed my eyes and yawned, slightly moaning at the coolness of his huge forehead. Through half-lidded eyes, I saw his eyes fill with worry, and that other emotion I couldn't identify. Tenderness, maybe?

"You have a fever you idiot."

"Shut up no I don't."

"Yes, you do." He slowly removed his head from mine and I barely noticed the redness on his own cheeks. "Come on let's get you some food." He took my upper arm and began to drag me back to my house. He looked back and smiled. "And you need to explain to me why you're shying away from the sun."

"'tis to bright." I muttered simply. "And I have lots more than that to explain to you." I stumbled and bumped into him, and he righted me and began to walk slower. His hand moved from my arm to my other shoulder, guiding me.

He laughed as we entered the door. "Great. I want to know everything.

Gir screamed in happiness and barreled into us both.