DISCLAIMER: The characters contained herein remain the property of ABC Productions. The story contained is meant only for personal enjoyment and no money is being made from the story. No infringement is intended. I offer this fan fiction as a tribute to the creative teams involved in the actual production of the show However, I reserve the right to any original characters I create for the purpose of fan fiction story telling.

Chapter 1: Acceptance & Goodbyes

"Doctor, maybe you should sit this one out." the assistant surgeon suggested as Josh, hand trembled while holding the scalpel over the bullet hole that put Kate in his operating room. He hated that she kept so many secrets from him and that she seemed to be rapidly distancing herself from him over the past week. She seemed to have put herself into a bubble and she was not letting anybody else in. Anybody else except Castle that is. Josh already knew that there was a part of Kate that she would never let him into. But she did not have any problems letting Castle in.

Richard Castle, the unofficial third person in their relationship. The man he kept trying to beat in Kate's eye and heart but he never could. He was all he heard about from her. So it came as no surprise to him when the ambulance arrived and Castle was right there, holding his girlfriends hand tightly.

It was a tricky operation. The bullet lodged itself mere inches away from her heart. Which is why he was called in to operate. Nobody at the hospital knew that this woman lying on the operating table was his girlfriend. Kate preferred it that way, and he was going to continue with his sacred oath and save her life.

"I'll be fine. Just make sure she stays alive while I repair the damage." he finally pulled the bullet out and dumped it into the nearby kidney basin.

The operation took a couple of hours. Beckett's family from the 12th precint were all cloistered in the waiting room, anticipating the results of the operation. Castle sat in a corner of the room, hands over his face, manly tears streaming its way down. His mother held him close to her, trying to appease him.

"Richard, there was nothing you could have done. You can't watch her every second of the day. Don't be so hard on yourself. Kate would not want to see you this way." she tried to convince him.

"Dad, she's gonna be fine. I just know it. Beckett isn't going to go down just like that. She is a fighter." Alexis leaned her head on her father's shoulder, trying to convince herself of her own words.

The sight of Josh entering the room hushed the rest of the people who were there. Kate's dad, Ryan, Lanie, and Esposito straightened up from the couch where they sat across from the others, very tired and sad at the turn of events. Nobody expected Beckett to take a hit. It was all supposed to be over.

Josh headed straight for Castle and tapped him on the shoulder. Castle looked up at him, his eyes begging for some positive news. "She's in recovery right now. She'll be in ICU for a few days to avoid infections, but she will be fine. We got it all out."

Castle felt the heaviest load he had ever carried on his shoulders lighten. Beckett was going to be fine. He smiled at Josh and took his hand in for a firm handshake. "Thank you! Thank you Josh!" Castle turned to the others "She's fine!"

Everyone seemed to want to see Beckett all at once. Josh explained why he would have to limit her visitors to only immediate family for the time being.

"So I can't see her?" Castle felt a sharp pain run through him. He could not stand the idea of not being able to see Kate until she got better.

Josh gave Castle a look that kind of said "You have got to be kidding right?" and it took everything that Castle had in him not to slug the conceited smirk off his face.

3 Days Later

Her sedatives were finally being lessened enough to the point where she was beginning to drift in and out of consciousness. The scenes running through her mind were all hazy. There as no way she could seperate fact from fiction. One minute she was giving a speech, the next she was curled over. Castle, running, holding her... "Kate, I love you..." Was that last part a dream?

Josh was sitting in the ICU, waiting for her to wake up. He wanted to be the first person she saw the minute her eyes opened. He refused to join Doctors Without Borders on their next mission because he was serious about being the person who was going to nurse her back to health.

He was checking her vital signs when he saw her eyes begin to enter rapid eye movement. she started flinching slightly. Her left hand instinctively went to her wound area. She smiled and seemed to be whispering something.

"Kate? I'm here kate. I love you." Josh whispered in her ear. Hoping she would respond. What he heard next crushed his very being.

"Rick, where are you? Castle? Rick, always... Rick, I love you too." she responded unconsciously.

"Rick... Castle... love...you..." her voice was weak but he heard her clearly. He wasn't the one she needed at that time. He had no place in her life. He had to accept the fact that he had lost the game.

He picked up the intercome and asked the nurse to call for him. If Kate was to get better, he had to make sure that the cure was as close to her as possible.

"'I'm Richard Castle." he introduced himself at the nurse's station at the ICU. He was instructed to wait while they got the attending to come for him.

Instead of taking him directly to Kate's room, Josh took Castle to the cafeteria. He was going to be the bigger man. He was going to concede.

"She keeps asking for you Castle." he began. "It's not me that she needs right now. I'm putting your name on her allowed visitors list."

"Are you sure...?" Castle wasn't at all sure where Josh was leading in all this.

"I'm quite sure that you are who she needs right now." he refused to go into details. He was already conceding the woman he loved, he was going to make sure he left with his pride intact at least.

Before Castle could say another word, Josh's beeper went crazy. Running to the ICU both men knew who the emergency case was.

"What the hell happened!" Josh demanded of the nurses who were running around trying to stabilize Kate who was having siezures.

"Her heart rate just shot through the roof. We don't know how it happened." the nurse on duty tried to explain while the attending male nurses tried to hold her steady.

"Kate!" Castle exclaimed as he tried to make his way to her. The burly male nurses threw him back. "Kate! I'm here! I won't leave you!"

"Let him through!" Josh ordered.

The mere sound of Castle's voice had some sort of soothing effect on Kate. Her stats began normalizing as suddenly as they went haywire.

Castle took his place beside Kate and held her hand tightly in his own. He lowered his head to her ear. "Always Kate, always."

Josh wasn't sure but he thought he saw a smile cross her lips. He shook his head, trying to convince himself that he was doing the right thing. He left the room and asked the nurse to get Kate Beckett's chart. He got on the phone while waiting and spoke to his assistant. It did not take long for him to assign Beckett to another doctor.

"Rick?" Josh peeked into the ICU at the end of his shift. Castle made a shushing motion as he uncurled Beckett's fingers from his own and he got up to talk to Josh outside the room.

"I've reassigned Kate's case." he scanned her chart for any final instructions before the turn over.

"What? Why? She said you were the best! Now you are abandoning her? I thought you loved her man!" Castle felt his anger beginning to swell. Some boyfriend this jerk was! Why did Kate always fall for the wrong men who just hurt her in the end? Why Josh when she could be happy with him?

" Will you take it easy Castle! I know! I know I am not the one she loves! That's why you are here you idiot!"

"What?" Castle couldn't believe what he was hearing. He let go of Josh and tried to process what he had just heard.

"She's all yours. When she wakes up in a few days, tell her I did her procedure then left for Haiti. She'll know what I mean." Josh straightened out his uniform. 'She said some things that made it clear where I stand."

"It must have been the drugs..." Castle was fumbling for an explanation, even though he did not know what he was explaining about.

Josh smiled and shook his head. Kate had told him that Castle was clueless at times but this was priceless. "That's the thing about being drugged Rick, it's like being under a truth serum." he began walking away from the one who truly owned Kate Beckett's body, mind and soul.

Castle went back to the room and took his place once again. His rightful place.

"Wake up Kate. I need to hear you say it." he kissed her forehead. She stirred a bit. "Always Kate. Always."

"Rick... Why are you here? Always Rick. Stay... don't go.. need you..." then she was silent once again.

TBC