the GAY analogies

-by platform-shoes12

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It all started that day when she decided she has had enough of him ignoring her.

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"That's it!" She slammed her hands, palms down on the desk attracting the attention of the students around them. "You are worse than e-mail."

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The man she was trying to attract slowly turned, looked at her, and raised a finely shaped eyebrow.

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"No. Let me rephrase that," she gritted her teeth, "E-mail is so much better than you."

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The man remained silent.

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"Well?"

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"…"

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"Aren't you going to ask what I meant by that?" She asked impatiently when the silence started to drag. She tapped her feet on the floor to emphasize her mood.

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He sent her an amused look. "You are going to tell me anyway."

She narrowed her eyes further. "NOT really."

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He sighed and decided to humor the girl. "Fine. Sakuraaa," he drawled out her name, "what do you mean by that?"

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"By that," she scratched the back of her head in irritation, "I mean e-mails are better than you, Sasuke-kun, because at least they—inanimate as they are—HAVE attachments."

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"?"

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"...and you DON'T."

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He laced his fingers together and sent her another amused look.

"I have attachments. You're just saying that because I'm not paying you enough attention."

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She gaped at him. He DID NOT. She resisted the urge to stomp her feet. How DARE he insinuate that she's some kind of an attention-whore? She closed her mouth and looked away.

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"So what if I do?"

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She heard him sigh. "You're like an eleven-year-old muggle waiting for a letter from Hogwarts."

She turned to look at him. "Which means?"

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"You're expecting something that won't happen."

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She gasped and clenched her fists in indignation. "If you must know, Sasuke-kun, Petunia Evans received one! Only, it's not an invitation. But that's not the point! She's a muggle and she received a letter. You're analogy is faulty."

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"And you're logic is implying that me paying attention to you MORE can happen."

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"Damn straight, it does. See? You're paying attention to me now." She grinned.

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Sasuke's left brow twitched. "Have I ever told you how you're like a bunny?"

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"Why? Because I'm cute?" Well who would've though Sasuke-kun could be so…

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"No. Because you're two front teeth is so big."

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…mean and romantically retarded.

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The girl's smile of victory turned sinister. "And have I ever told you, dear Sasuke-kun, how you're most likely going to be a eunuch?"

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"Is that even an analogy?"

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"No. It's a threat."

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"Well your threat is like Naruto's brain." He inclined his head to the direction of the blonde.
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"…?"

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"Empty." To which Naruto replied a very dignified…"Huh?"

"No, it's not."

"His brain is not empty?"

"No. His brain is empty. My threat is not."

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Sasuke pushed back his chair, walked a few steps and stood too close to a reddening Sakura. "You wouldn't really act on the eunuch threat," he inclined his head.

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What a cocky bastard Sakura inwardly thought. What a cocky, sexy bastard.

"Uh-huh and why would that be, Sasuke-kun?" She was supremely proud of her voice which remained steady.

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He leaned forward until his lips were near her ear. Damn goosebumps.

"Because it wouldn't be in your best interest." He smirked, winked at her, and walked away.

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Leaving Sakura rooted to the spot with her face red.

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Two Months Later

The new couple finally pulled away from each other.

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"Wow, Sasuke-kun…that kiss was like…dango." She pulled her shirt down and tried to smooth out the newly made wrinkles.

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"?"

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"It was sweet, you idiot." She giggled. He snorted. "Seriously, Sakura, you make gay analogies."

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She huffed. "Fine then. Let's see you give a NOT GAY analogy about it."

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He raised a brow. Is she actually challenging me? "It was like…vacuum."

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She tapped her foot impatiently. "Why, pray tell, was it like a vacuum?"

"It…" He turned away to hide the blush that crept traitorously to his neck, "sucked the breath out of me."

-crickets chirping-

1…

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2…..

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3…..

Sakura finally burst out laughing. Seriously, vacuum? That was so…

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LAME.

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The Uchiha boy scowled at the girl. What was so funny? She started this analogy thing. She should be thankful he's even playing this with her! "Let's see you top that."

When Sakura finally sobered up. Vacuum? She let out the last of her giggles and said. "It was like a wool sweater."

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"I have a feeling this is going to be even more gay than your last…"

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"It was soft and warm." She finished dreamily.

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"…and I'm right." He sighed in exasperation. "and for your information, Sakura, I do not do soft and warm. That doesn't count. Give another analogy."

She pouted. "How should I come up with another analogy when I kind of forgot how it's like!" She bit her lip and fidgeted before looking up at him from under her lashes, "Remind me?"

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Sasuke smirked. Oh. He'll be more than happy to.

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-Just so she can remember and therefore give a new analogy, of course. It's not like…he's fond of kissing her. No. He's doing this because she asked for it. Really. Nothing else.

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Two hours later…

Sakura sat up, hair messed up and clothes wrinkled beyond repair. She was a little dizzy from all those…she blushed.

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"I'm sure you have been thoroughly…reminded." He smirked. She flushed an even deeper shade of red.

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"Fine then. I'm not sure if this analogy is not gay though."

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"…?"

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"The kiss was like…you."

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He glared at her. "I'm not gay, Sakura"

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She grinned and clapped her hands together. "Well finally! Finally, the analogy I've given is not gay."

She planted a quick kiss behind his ear. "As I was saying," She planted another kiss on his neck, "the kiss was like you," and another to his jaw, "Sasuke-kun." She smirked and her lips finally landed on his.

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Delicious.

-fin

platform-shoes12's note: There was a power interruption and suddenly I don't know what to do. I'm bored and this was born. I hope it isn't too cheesy.

I hope you enjoyed the story. Review! ^_^