Internet's still not fixed. (last two chapters updated from a Starbucks)

Special thanks to: FullmetalFan16, FlamingFlyingFoxOfDoom, Dylexa, Eternal Love's Eclipse, and Thelastunicorn for reviewing

Speaking of...WE HIT OUR 50th REVIEW! *parties* Thanks for the ego boost. Seriously. I have a poll up on what we should do to celebrate this. So go vote. After reading this. I command thee!

Me: Sadist, If you would please do the disclaimer.
Sadist: *hides*
Me: why are you hiding?
Sadist: I've been threatened WAY to many times by the fangirls (and boys) for simply being your OC. I'm going to wait the rest of the story out inCanada.
Me: DON'T MENTION THAT WORD IN MY PRESENCE!
Sadist: ^^!" Sorry, Canadia...bye! *poofs into thin air*
Me: Crap. Now I don't have a muse.
Raven: Well, that's where I come in, I guess.
Me: Oh no D: It's my schizophrenic voice!
Raven: heh. St. Iggy the Pyro owns nothing. Except Sadist. But he's currently in Canadia. If you would like to be included in the army that is hell-bent on taking over Canada and renaming it Canadia, please put the word "Canadia" in a review.

Well...cue the chapter I guess...

"We need you to become the Fullmetal Alchemist, Edward Elric."

Sadist's eyes widened in surprise. Then they narrowed in confusion. "How am I supposed to become someone who I'm a total opposite of?"

"Well, you aren't total opposites. And how would you know if you were? You don't know anything about him." Father continued, in a bored-sounding voice.

Sadist looked down. It was true. He didn't know anything about Edward. Except that he was a State Alchemist. For all he knew, they could be identical. But, from his brief visit with him in the "Room of Souls" he didn't feel like they were similar at all. He stood and wondered briefly if the other homunculi could make contact with their former hosts. Well, unintentional contact. He briefly wondered if he should mention the meeting with Edward, but again decided against it. If it wasn't normal, they might think him insane.

"Here is all the information we have gathered on him." Father continued, passing Sadist a rather full-looking file. "You may go study it in one of the bedrooms." And with that, Sadist was dismissed. He hurried back to the bunker that even in such a short time he had begun to call home.

He fell back on the dusty bed, almost expecting another migraine to hit. He was relieved when he was allowed to lie down without his brain feeling like it was about to explode. "Thanks." He muttered to himself in the lonely room, feeling like an idiot. He had meant it to be addressed to Edward, but he wasn't sure if the golden haired boy was even able to hear him. Sighing, he fell back as comfortably as he could on the old bed and started reading into the file. It was filled with friendships, military officers, and even a family tree that traced his mother's side back into the great-great-great grandparents. The father's side was strangely empty. There were likes, dislikes, clothing preferences, even which brand of automail oil he preferred.

"Man, they really stalked you." He muttered distastefully. He had no qualms about getting to know who he was supposed to impersonate, but this just felt wrong. A total invasion of privacy. I mean, why on EARTH would they ever need to know what size underwear he wore? How they came across this information, Sadist didn't even want to know.

Slowly, he made his way through the large yellow file. A few times, he would come across something he recognized, like that military jerk Roy Mustang. Or something from the images. He learned that the antique armor that he had seen was actually a person, Edward's little brother no less. Upon learning this little tidbit of information, he was interrupted by a most unlikely source.

"YOU STAY AWAY FROM HIM!"Suddenly, Edward's voice raged in his head.

"And if I don't?" Sadist questioned playfully, in fact, enjoying the fact that Edward could see anything that he saw. He would be able to torment him with this newfound ability.

"I'LL RIP YOU APART, LIMB FROM LIMB!"Came yet another shout from Edward.

"I'd love to see you try." Sadist smiled evilly. "I'd be kind of hard, you know, given your current position. I think I'll kill him just to see what you do." He pondered, gaining intense joy from the growing rage and despair from the young teen.

"Please...don't..." Edward moaned softly, much to the glee of Sadist.

"I guess we'll see." Sadist taunted. Then his tone turned serious. "But remember this. Everyone you care about, their lives hang in the palm of my hand." Then he focused his attention back on the files that we're laid out in front of him.

Finally, it seemed, he learned about the origins and causes for the "automail" on what he considered his arms and legs.

"You poor little boy; drabbling in the dark art of necromancy (1) at such a young age."

"Shut up...you don't know anything."Edward was silent from then on, lurking within his own thoughts and memories Sadist supposed.

After what seemed like hours of research later, Sadist knew everything there was to know about Edward. About his height complex, his distaste for milk, his fierce love for his little brother. He knew things like his exact height (5' 4", if you included his small "antenna") his weight (140 pounds without the automail) his age (15, which was quite ridiculous considering his height, or rather lack of). He knew his hopes, he dreams, hell, he even knew his dental records! He was feeling up to the task of impersonating the person who had once been Edward Elric. And even if he screwed up, he had the excuse of being neurotically damaged. It was foolproof.

Sadist sighed. He was trying to convince himself that it would actually work. Suddenly, the irresistible urge for fresh air struck him once again. With silence worthy of a master thief, the homunculus made his way to the surface and his goal. With no distractions, he actually made it this time.

Taking his first breath of fresh surface air felt implicitly nice. So nice that he inhaled another huge breath, reveling in the non-musty smell and taste. He took another, and another. Finally, his deep breathing caught the attention of a military official.

"Geeez kid, you'd think you we're suffocating! This is military property, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." Sadist didn't like the "kid" remark very much. He was the embodiment of sadism. How many child sadists could there be?

Shaking off the anger at being called a child, Sadist started wandering the streets. He must of looked pretty odd barefoot, but he had managed to find some long-abandoned clothes in his "room" that weren't too shabby.

Suddenly, a muffled scream from an alley to his left caught his attention. Slowly he moved toward the sound, sort of like how a moth moves toward a light. He knew he shouldn't, but some primatial instinct drove him. He chuckled at the scene that he came upon. For there, in a dark, secluded section of the alley, was a large man pushing a young women slowly into a corner. Tears were streaming down her face, but her mouth was covered by one of the burly hands.

As Sadist drew closer, he heard snippets of conversation.

"-Such pretty fair skin; makes me want to cut it."

"Please..."

Sadist chuckled once again at this scene. This time, the man heard him. He turned towards Sadist.

"Something funny; kid?" The man made a large show of the knife in his hands, making sure it glinted in the little sunlight that streamed into the alley in cracks.

"Oh, no, I just find it hilarious at how cliché this is." The thug raised an eyebrow. Sadist groaned. "Come on, large man corners young girl in an alley way, kills her, leaves her body for the cops. Its so...unoriginal. If you're going to be a serial killer, at least make up your own style."

"I don't like your attitude; you little brat." The man advanced towards Sadist.

"Big mistake."Sadist muttered, waiting for the perfect moment before striking, not unlike the way a snake would strike. He grabbed the thug's forehead with his automail fist and shoved it as hard as he could into the alley wall. There was a sickening crunch and the thug fell to the ground.

Sadist turned his gaze over to the women, who was shakily starting getting up. "T-thank y-y-you." She kept stuttering, as she advanced towards her savior.

"I wouldn't thank me yet." Sadist muttered darkly, before meeting her gaze with an insane lust for blood.

He started moving slowly towards her, as if in an old horror movie. She once again found her back to the wall. He clasped his uneven palms together and the automail one suddenly gained a wicked sharp edge that it hadn't had before. He slowly moved it towards her throat, inching ever so slowly. Slowly. She watched like a deer would watch headlights, about to get run down by a car, but too scared to think, much less move. Finally the knife's blade was at her all-important jugular vein. Centimeters away from cutting it, her life was now in his hands. This, he mused, was a good feeling.

He slowly poked the knife's edge into her neck, watching with satisfaction as a small bead of crimson rolled out and down her shoulder, leaving a red-tinted trail behind. It looked exactly the same as the silent tears that moved down her face.

He was about to end it all when the anguished cry came.

"STOP!"Edward's voice rang out. Sadist stopped and smirked.

"Why should I? Just because you're soft and can't handle death doesn't mean I should be restricted."

"Please! She's done nothing to deserve it!"Edward begged, he couldn't just sit and watch as Sadist killed this innocent woman.

"Exactly." Sadist hissed, then plunged the knife into her skin, breaking the connection of the all-important jugular. Sadist backed away, soon she would die; her own heart would be working to kill her. Satisfied finally, Sadist made his way back to the military headquarters. He now knew that it had not been fresh air that he had been craving.

As he walked up, a different officer stopped him, but upon seeing his face, his own face turned chalk-white. "M-Mr. Elric; Sir!" He shouted.

"I have business here, step aside." He ordered. The officer complied immediately, not wanting to get in the way of a person that he was several times outranked by. Once in headquarters, he made his way down the elevator to not his own room, but to Father's room.

"What is it?" Father asked in a very annoyed tone.

"I'm ready to become Edward." Sadist said almost awkwardly.

"Good. I will have Envy escort you after you get ready. Pride?" He questioned, looking over to the boy cloaked in shadows. Sadist had not seen him before Father had mentioned it. He would have to look out for him. Pride nodded handed him a bag full of clothes. Sadist immediately started looking through, feeling akin to a child on Christmas morning. He quickly pulled on the black pants and shirt, followed by an black overcoat and a red cloak with a symbol that Sadist now recognized as the symbol of an alchemist. The first thing he noticed was that it was dreadfully hot under so many layers. He would have to learn to bear with it.

"Now I just need to braid my hair." Sadist pointed out, remembering that in all the pictures Ed's long golden hair had been braided. He started clumsily fumbling to do so, but out of no where, one of Pride's shadows did it for him. Those freaky shadows never ceased to amaze him.

As if on cue, Envy appeared. As he walked, his form started to melt down into the same nurse that he had used earlier. "Come on." he called, walking out of the room. Sadist took one last look at Father, who nodded approvingly, and started off to become the Fullmetal Alchemist.

(1) As you've probably guessed, necromancy is the art of trig to bring someone back from the dead.

Yes, I do realize that this chapter is mostly filler. I'm sorry, but I can't have it being action and craziness 24/7. I actually had no idea where I was going with this chapter until it was written. It just kinda flowed out.

~Pyro