Carpe Diem

Chapter 2

Warning: The following (and final) chapter references a DPS character death.

Wilson stares at House, bleak brown eyes slowly darkening as he realizes what House has discovered. "No."

"It wasn't a 'yes' or 'no' question."

"Off-limits, House. End of discussion."

"'Dear Neil, It's hard to believe that two years ago, something so ugly could have led to something so beautiful,'" House replies evenly, reciting the lines from memory. "'And after all that we've been through, I'd be foolish not to tell you that I – '"

"I said no," Wilson interrupts angrily.

House shrugs. "No matter. I gave him a call."

Wilson's heart skips a beat. "That's impossible."

"You're right. Took a few tries, but it's amazing what kind of information people will give you when you tell them you're a doctor, isn't it? Called the school, called his folks…finally found out that he's six feet under. Leukemia."

Wilson doesn't answer. For all the years he's learned to deal with House, struggling between keeping it cool and punching him in the face is suddenly almost too much to handle.

"You're an ass," he finally whispers, gripping the edge of his desk.

"Dead at 21. Must have sucked, him being in love with you and all."

"House, I've told you everything you wanted to know!" Before he even realizes it, Wilson has stood and flung back his chair, its angry collision with his bookcase punctuating the way he towers over the diagnostician. "What is it that you want to hear? That he was the first person I ever loved? That he stopped my suicide attempt, and I'm only alive today because of him? That I pushed him away because I went to college in another country, and then he up and fucking died on me?"

The subsequent silence is welcome, but suffocating; no amount of air that he gulps in seems to help.

"Wilson."

This is a battle, a war, and the casualties could be your hearts and souls.

He can't breathe.

Truth like a blanket that always leaves your feet cold.

"Hey. Wilson. Take it easy."

There's a familiar hand on his back, and he doesn't have the energy or will to shake it off. It's only just now that he realizes that House is at his side, staring intently at him as he rubs circles between Wilson's shoulder blades.

"I'm…I'm sorry," he mutters, too weak to protest as House gently leads him to the couch.

"You're a mess," House grumbles affirmatively, his masked concern not lost on Wilson even in his state of disarray.

They sit quietly for a while, Wilson's elbows resting exhaustedly on his knees as he leans forward and focuses on breathing. House patiently keeps his eyes fixated on his lover, waiting.

"I never told him," Wilson says at last. His voice is still soft, but steady once again. "He waited until graduation to tell me that he loved me, and I…I never said it back."

House doesn't move, keeping his voice just as low. "He knew."

"He left me that stupid love note, asked me to meet him after the ceremony…"

"…And you never did."

"I couldn't." Wilson turns his head to face House, his eyes pleading. "I was leaving for McGill the next morning, and I…I just couldn't."

After a moment, House prods him further. "You said that he saved your life," he says cautiously.

Wilson nods, turning away to look at the floor again. "My father was threatening to send me to another school," he murmurs. "I found his gun, but Todd found me first."

"How'd he know?"

A small smile crosses Wilson's face. "The bastard followed me home, and then he climbed in through the window just to take the gun from me."

He grows somber again as he continues. "My dad heard the commotion, came downstairs…in the end, he let me stay at Welton, but he still pushed med school. Between that and getting Mr. Keating fired, I changed my name and ran off to Canada the first chance I could. That stupid porno was the closest I ever got to acting again," he adds, smiling again.

House pauses, considering. "And it took two years for you and this Todd guy to…?"

Wilson shakes his head. "We…experimented. It didn't take long after that for us to get together, but it was so secret that it almost seemed…unreal."

"I knew that couldn't have been the first time you pulled that stuff in the bedroom," House smirks.

"I was still out of practice," Wilson retorts, but he allows a small grin in return.

After a moment, House stands to retrieve the yearbook from the desk. Reaching into his pocket, he pulls out a small, folded piece of paper, and slips it back between the pages.

"I'm sorry he died," he says, holding the book out to Wilson.

Wilson takes it, resting it in his lap. "Well, they say that everything happens for a reason."

"Yeah. Sure. If saying that about kids with brain tumors the size of bowling balls helps you sleep at night."

Wilson ignores House's last comment, instead standing to join him. "I hadn't thought I'd actually go to med school until he died, let alone go into oncology," he replies. "If I hadn't followed that path…if I hadn't gone to any medical conferences…"

House smirks in understanding. "Then you wouldn't have met my sorry ass."

"You see?" Wilson smiles back. "Sometimes I do think there's some sort of bigger plan out there."

"Uh huh." House takes his hand, gently squeezing it. "I'm sorry," he repeats.

"Me, too." Wilson kisses his cheek. "I'm sorry I lied to you."

House shrugs. "Need I say it?"

"That everybody lies? I think I've got that down." Wilson grabs his jacket and stuffs the yearbook into his briefcase. "You know what Thoreau once said? 'Most men lead lives of quiet desperation.'"

"And I care because…?"

"Todd might've given me a head start, but House – you're the one who really freed me."

House rolls his eyes. "Quit being such a sap, Wilson."

"I'm a sap who loves you. And I want to tell you that every chance I get, not just in a note two years from now." Wilson kisses him again, House's lips eagerly inviting him in. "Wanna get out of here?"

"Thought you'd never ask."

Carpe diem. Seize the day, boys.

House pauses as Wilson heads for the door. "Wilson. I mean, Wilson-Perry."

Wilson turns, playfully rolling his eyes to indulge him. "Yeah?"

"I love you, too."

Make your lives extraordinary.

Fin