Authors Note: Just some more gory angsty thoughts and senseless humorous shenanigans. A lot less horror compared to the last couple of chapters and a little more humor. Now for the apology. I'm really sorry to anyone I may have offended or scared last chapter, but after recently learning that a good friend mine at work apparently did the same (which I never would have guessed had I not unintentionally seen the evidence for myself), I just felt really, really bad for writing that piece. Almost sick to my stomach. So again, I am so terribly sorry to anyone I may have offended in any way and I greatly apologize. I just never thought how personal it became for me until I actually experienced a shock like that. Really gets your mind racing and making you feel like a complete ass. And of course, scaring the $#!+ out of myself, lol. Still trying to lighten the mood from it of course.

Now away with the angst and onto the hopefully happy ending.

Written: 28 July

Soundtrack: Pieces by RED (Love this song), Tears and Rain by James Blunt (A thanks again to Capitano for coming through with this song. Even though they weren't actually requested to accompany any of the chapters, she always manages to e-mail me random songs and they fit so damn perfectly with one piece or another. Woohoo! Lol.)

Word Count: 6000+

Chapter 11: Chapter 9 One Shot Part 3

Now that Gabriel was gone and Cas was asleep finally (and peacefully I might add, thank God), Sam and Bobby went back to finishing up the warding of the entire property, yard and all, while Dean remained where he had sat for several hours now.

There was really nothing to do but think.

He had already spoken with Sam and Bobby, both hunters deciding that it was ultimately all up to him to see what they could do for him, considering it was he who Cas was closest to. Even though options seemed to be available, in all actuality, they felt like they had no clue where to even begin. Cas was on the edge, more so than Sam at the moment with all his memories of Hell and Dean couldn't help but feel torn. Deep down, he was still a little upset that the angel had broken down the wall around all of those horrible memories, but Sam quickly took him out of that hole. He had long since forgiven him, because he knew that he was not the one ultimately responsible for them in the first place.

"The only person to blame is me," Sam claimed, surprising both Dean and Bobby. "I'm the one who decided to jump into the Cage in the first place. If there's anyone to be held accountable for my memories of Hell, I have only to look at myself."

Even when Dean's pride above all else had him looking at things blindly, it was always his little brother that made him see the light. Always. Sam always had a knack for helping Dean to see the error of his ways, both large and small, whether he wanted to or not. In the end though, Dean always dug deep within himself and always ended up seeing the truth anyways.

Needless to say, that had Dean rethinking a lot of things.

Thinking about everything that had happened, since the very beginning. Since all of this had started.

Strangely enough, Dean kept going back to that day he was sure that caused it all. Just as Sam had pointed out, the day he jumped into the Cage. The day Castiel died for a second time, and the day he received his wings again. He was sure that this was where it had all began, the start of his downfall, as well as the former angels. To the decisions he made and the choices he picked, that led to everything now. That led to his unfortunate undoing, and ultimately to all of this suffering. Dean couldn't help but wonder, if he maybe was responsible for some of it. If not all of it.

It was he who had convinced the angel to rebel. To convince him to make a choice. Insisted on free will. It was all because of him, and Dean knew that everything Castiel had done for them, he had done because of him. Maybe, just maybe, Dean had become blind to see that after losing Sam a second time. Not caring about anything else and only focusing on his self loathe.

He didn't see what Castiel was doing, what steps he was taking, the decisions he was making, because Dean wasn't paying attention.

He should have known better.

He should have known that something was wrong, the moment he started seeing the difference in his friend.

"What happened to you Cas? You used to be human, or at least act like one."

Those still fresh words stung in his chest now.

How had he not seen it?

Even when it was right in front of him, he never did see. Only because he refused. He stayed focused on the Cas he knew, the Castiel that pulled him from the Pit, the angel that turned his back on Heaven to walk his own path. The day Sam released Lucifer and Castiel decided to act on his own accord, without rules and without limitations, that was his undoing. Dean knew it. It was because of him. Although he still held Cas accountable for his actions, deep down, Dean knew the truth. The angel had even told him.

"Everything I do, I do for you."

Again, choice words of recollection that only stung his already aching chest.

Castiel had changed, both for the better but also for the worse. Now, it was his turn. Dean knew that he had slipped, that he had let go of what once was, and he was now aware of just how much of his friend he had failed. Only because he selfishly thought of himself. It was obvious now that Cas was desperate, if his most recent actions said anything.

Dean had seen some pretty horrible things in his life, the first thought being his mother burning alive on the ceiling of his baby brothers room (which he never told his father he actually saw). Along with seeing Sam stabbed in the back, him going to Hell, ripping apart his first soul to break the first seal, and now watching his friend bleeding to death at his own hands. Because of his desperation. It broke him in a way he never thought he could be, even though he was already a dirty, damaged soul. And it was all because he didn't care to see, didn't care to change, didn't care to notice. Castiel had changed, broken a piece of himself as well, and Dean knew, that it was time for him to make a decision.

It was time for him to get up and help move Castiel along. So that he could save him, as the angel once did him. It was time Dean repay the favor, and this was one way he could. If there was anything worth giving up a life, it was for one you considered to be worth it. He wasn't sure when Cas had fallen into that category, but it was obvious to him now that he did. He was his brother, in every sense of the word. If he was willing to die for Sam, well, Cas was no different.

Dean had finally made a decision and considered enough was enough.

Dean could finally stop being mad at Cas, and start maybe truly forgiving him, as well as himself.

Cas had given him back his life, the least he could do was show him why his wasn't worth giving up.

…

Castiel did not wake up for two days. 48 hours of undisturbed sleep, peaceful dreams, and with it came occasional visits from their now favorite archangel. His first brought him with a more than sour attitude, his face hard and disturbed as he returned from his most recent appointment with one of Cas' captors. It didn't help his mood when he tried zapping into Bobby's living room and ended up bouncing out of it like a beach ball, but after careful explanation from the hunters as to the reason why (which, in all honestly, who could blame them), Gabriel was quick to forgive and patiently waited outside while Bobby worked out a way for him to get around it. While Gabriel waited, he entertained himself with many of the scrap heaps in Bobby's yard, turning the old cars into various works of rusted, piled up art. When that got boring, he decided to simply sit around waiting, and when he had lost patience for that he started to eat his way through a countless number of chocolate bars. Seriously, how long did it take to wiggle around a few angel proofing wards?

In Bobby's defense, a lot apparently, once you got it right of course.

After personally tagging Gabriel with a safe pass (after several failed attempts where he still kept getting blown out like a catapult), the archangel was allowed back in (he couldn't help but flinch and cringe as he stepped through the door, seriously, those wards hurt like a mother) and immediately went to go check on his brother. There he remained, safe and sound where he left him with Sam now being his caretaker while Dean took some time to prepare them something to eat. Cas would be sure to get some too, as soon as he woke up that is. Until then all four of them waited, taking their time to let him recuperate and went about discussing the unfortunate events that had unfolded in the past few days.

Of course Gabriel had to confess to all three hunters that it was actually two and a half years in Cas' time instead of a week, which only had them feeling worse. However it couldn't match the dread the archangel was currently sporting around, the former Trickster starting to feel if not a little regret for his most recent actions, even if the reason behind them was just. No doubt there would be consequences later on, once God was back in the picture of course.

As it turned out, Gabriel had learned from the most recent jackhole (who started spilling his guts pretty damn quickly in exchange for mercy, which Gabriel refused to give before actually starting to physically spill out the guys guts) that the angels knew about the hunters ties to the archangel, and made sure that he would not intervene during their little play date with Castiel. This only served to piss off Gabriel even more as the angel laughed, and finally gave him his mercy by quickly finishing him off before moving onto his next victim. This angel, being one of his sisters taunted him as well, seemingly unaffected by the fact that she was now at the hands of an extremely pissed off archangel and the bloody headless corpse of her brother now hanging beside her.

She quickly changed her mind as Gabriel swiftly took care of her as well, making sure that she got to feel every last bit of pain that she made Castiel feel before he mercilessly ended her life as well. And humans thought angels were pure with grace and mercy. Such a pathetic naïve bunch of fools. Gabriel almost wanted to see the face of a human who had never actually seen an angel and wondered if they would keep that opinion if they ever saw what they, and now he were capable of doing. They were probably worse than demons when it came to such methods of torture. It wasn't a pretty sight to say the least, and it actually weighed heavily on Gabriel's mind. He didn't like where things had turned, but frankly, there was reason to pout when things couldn't be changed anymore. What was done was done, and was an act of sin that the archangel couldn't take back, even if he wanted to.

Surprisingly, he found that he didn't.

The atmosphere was now downright uncomfortable, and Gabriel found himself leaving shortly after checking on Castiel for one last time before returning to finish what he started. He quickly zapped away, Bobby still keeping up the wards and went about with the usual routine as the former angel continued to recover, the two brothers and he still keeping a watchful eye over him.

The morning of the third day finally brought some real peace, as Castiel finally opened his eyes.

That peace however soon turned to unexpected hilarity as Castiel stretched out all his limbs and looked over to his right side, the former angel currently sprawled out on his stomach and face pressed halfway into the pillow as he peered over at bright jade green eyes, staring right back at his just inches from his face.

"Hey Cas." Dean said casually, almost cheery as he smiled over at his friend.

Dean expected an uncomfortable silence or awkward moment of recollection from his episode, but he sure as heck didn't expect what happened next.

Castiel unexpectedly gave out a startled yelp, quickly pushing himself up on his elbows and then rolling over onto his back, which caused him to hit the edge of the mattress and fall over onto the floor, sheets and all. Two more inches and he would have cracked his head on the nightstand.

Dean really didn't want to have to explain that to Gabriel, which only made his own head hurt.

Dean, who was now practically startled himself, immediately leaned over to the other side of the bed to check on him. Cas was now sitting upright, holding the top of his head and rubbing his palm over it while repeatedly whispering the word 'ow' over and over and over again. Now doubt he landed on it (stupid dummy) and would more than likely have a bump there later on. At least the injury wasn't as dangerous as potentially bursting his brains open, just probably hurt like hell and would more than likely give him a headache soon enough.

"Shit. Are you okay?" Dean asked, trying to hold back a laugh as Cas turned to look up at him. Oh how he wished he could smite him right now. He couldn't however (Thank God, he thought as he recalled his now nearly forgotten dream), and just quickly went to smacking him hard in the face with his pillow as payback for scaring him.

Clearly, he was more than just a little annoyed at Dean's morning wake up call.

That actually got Dean to laugh a real laugh, as Castiel tried propping himself on his knees, gripping onto the edge of the bed as Dean recuperated and stood back up himself.

"Must you do that?" Castiel said irritatingly, clearly not amused with the microscope look Dean had been giving him. No wonder the hunter never liked it. It was just, well, uncomfortable.

"What the Hell." Dean chuckled, still trying to keep the lightness of mood since the past few days had been anything but. "You did that to me all the time with your whole…soul searching look. It was creepy. And now you know the feeling."

"Dean," Castiel started, slamming his hand on the edge of the mattress and propping himself up to kneel against it. "I didn't have to look at you to even see your soul. You radiated it like a freakin' sun." He said bluntly, hand still reaching out to rub his head.

Apparently Dean took an extra second to process that last part. "Yeah well, wait, what?"

"Your soul." Castiel said matter of factly. "It was one of the brightest I had ever seen, so I didn't exactly have to look at you to actually see it."

Well that was one thing Dean could check off his list of the creepiest things ever said to him. Talk about feeling overexposed.

He didn't know what to say, Dean left simply gaping as he stared at Castiel, who was now sporting his signature constipated look of irritation back at him. It was as natural as the bitch face Sam always sported and at this point in his life, mastered. Dean really didn't like it, and went about wiping it away by smacking him back with his pillow, successfully causing him to fall back first onto the rug. At least Cas didn't hit his head this time, but that didn't mean he didn't still have something to mumble from his current position of being sprawled out on the floor.

"That wasn't very nice Dean."

"Shut up Cas."

After the awkward moment in the bedroom and Cas feeling like he needed to get some much needed personal space for a bit (he still felt a little awkward around Dean after what he had done), the former angel found himself heading to the bathroom to take a much needed shower.

The hunters had made sure to remove all sharp objects (he noticed the moment he walked in), which meant the three day stubble he was currently sporting would have to stay for a while longer.

At least here he couldn't get himself into any trouble, or so he thought.

Too bad for him however, from the combined lack of food and use of his limbs the past few days, his legs decided to turn into jello the moment he tried stepping into the tub.

…

Dean first heard the crashing, then the rattle of metal, and couldn't help but worry and wonder what the heck Castiel had gotten himself into now.

"Aw man," he groaned. "Now what?"

He quickly reached the hallway bathroom, knocking on the door and calling to the former angel as he heard shuffling inside. When he didn't get a response, he quickly picked the lock and walked in, only to be greeted with the funniest predicament he had ever found himself in, as well as one of the most awkward. He had no clue who was responsible for the days shenanigans, but it certainly did help in lighting the mood a little more each and every time.

He was in desperate need of that right now.

So there he stood at the door, seeing Cas with his legs hanging awkwardly off the edge of the tub and shower curtain laying just as strangely over him, covering most of his lower body (thank God) and looking so childishly embarrassing, Dean almost thought it was cute.

He started laughing, and before the hunter could go over to help him, Castiel tried shuffling his weight to pick himself up and ended up pulling on the shower rod. It bumped into the shelf and caused the only bottle of shampoo on it to fall and land directly on the top of his head, in the exact same spot where he had fallen and already had a bump forming. Castiel quickly pressed his hand down over it (again), quietly whispering quick curses in annoyance.

Considering they weren't even in English, the hunter was sure he was pissed.

Dean stood there gaping for just a second, before he burst out laughing even harder, Cas giving him a death glare before grabbing the bottle and flinging it hard at Dean, the hunters hands falling from his aching ribs and over to his nose where the object hit dead on and causing him to stumble backwards onto his ass.

He still thought it was funny.

"GET OUT!"

Dean only continued laughing, even through the stinging pain currently racing up his nostrils. He quickly picked himself up and ran out, shutting the door behind him just as Castiel threatened to beat him with the shower rod, which only sounded funnier coming from him. Dean couldn't stop, his eyes now tearing at the sight of his best friends unintentional mishap. Castiel simply remained where he was, hiding himself under the curtain and covering his face with it in embarrassment as he slouched further into the tub.

Seriously, what the hell was up today…

Castiel took longer than normal to get out of the shower, slowly making his way downstairs where Sam, Dean and Bobby were currently waiting. He continued rubbing the top of his head, hair still a bit wet from his recent shower and still glaring at Dean for his insensitivity. Dean only chuckled as he made his way into the kitchen as Cas made his way over to a chair, sulking at all the pairs of eyes currently staring back at him. No doubt why they were doing it, but he really didn't want to get into that, not when he was finally starting to gain a little bit of peace with himself, even if it wasn't much.

Dean could feel it too, the tension thick in the atmosphere of the room as he made his way back with a bag of frozen vegetables and not so gracefully plopping it on Cas' head. He again gave a grunt of disapproval and glared at Dean, who simply smiled and patted him on the head like a puppy as Cas took over and held his own hand in place. Dean had been right, Cas was getting a headache, and a doozy one at that. Although he wasn't so sure as to the cause of it now. From his fall, or Dean, or maybe even both. Whichever it was, he was sure the hunter had something to do with it. Thankfully before he could say anything however, Bobby cleared his throat and spoke to him.

"You hungry?" He asked simply, already knowing the answer to the seemingly pointless question.

"Starving." Castiel answered just as simply, avoiding all their gazes as Bobby got up from his chair to get the former angel something to eat. Even though he was still not used to keeping a schedule of his eating habits, his stomach had gracefully been reminding him for the past hour or so.

That left him with both brothers, Dean sitting on his right and Sam across the table from him, both just staring at him as if afraid he would explode. Castiel really felt uncomfortable with it (go figure) and continued avoiding their gazes until Bobby returned with a bowl of rice, beans and barbecued pork for him to eat. Cas needed a good meal, or a few dozen to make up for all the time he had been left without eating. How the heck he had managed to lose so much weight when they first saw him was beyond them, but after learning the truth from Gabriel, it all pretty much made sense now. Cas had been gone for months, all that time without being fed or given any form of nourishment, which left him a lot lighter and his clothes a lot looser. No doubt he was using a belt right now just to hold up his jeans and his shirt practically hung off him like a bag. The dark sweater he was currently wearing wasn't exactly helping either, even with it being only zipped up halfway.

Castiel ate quietly while the three of them simply watched, wondering what was going through his head at the moment besides the fact that he was more than likely feeling like a rat in a cage. Complete lack of personal space right now, that's what it was for him currently. After finishing his second bowl of food and already starting on a third, Castiel finally couldn't take it and put the fork down with a clank. This just felt too damn awkward for him, even with knowing that they were simply being careful.

His irritation was starting to show, his shoulders slouching even more as he got ready to leave the table, until Dean's arm took a hold of his own and stopped him. Castiel didn't even bother to look at him, already knowing that Dean's face was hard with concentration and only masked his worry. Sam and Bobby looked at him as well.

They knew that Dean didn't want him feeling anymore uncomfortable than he already was, and the tension was already way past tolerable for any one of them. They didn't want to push Castiel away either, or feeling anymore alone and vulnerable than they were sure he already was. They chose to quietly get up instead, leaving Dean and Castiel alone and easing the suffocating anxiety just a little for his sake.

It only increased by tenfold when Dean slowly moved his hand from Cas' arm over to his wrist. Cas immediately felt his body tense and shiver all at once. His fingers were carefully brushing just over where he had cut himself, where his blood had spilled and Castiel felt all those feelings bubbling up once again. Dean knew this, but whispered to him the only thing he felt he needed to tell him.

It was the only words he could think of for the past couple of days since it happened.

"I don't ever want you to do that again."

He said it so carefully, so soft and quiet that he almost didn't hear it, but Castiel knew Dean. He knew what he would say, simply because he knew the type of person that the hunter was. He had literally held the man's soul in his hands, and knew him almost as well as his own family.

Castiel let out a shaky breath, closing his eyes as he tried to focus on ignoring the bubbling currently burning in his gut. It felt so much like guilt, an all too familiar emotion that he couldn't help but grasp onto these past few days. It was stupid. He already knew this, and it took him nearly taking his own life and committing the greatest act of sin in order for him to learn it. He thought about his Father, what he probably thought as he watched his son attempt to take it all into his own hands, and Castiel finally broke.

He lowered his head in shame as he balled his fists still sitting on the table, Dean's grasp only tightening against his own. He tried his hardest to fight back the tears he could feel hiding behind his eyes, but found it nearly impossible.

He just let them fall onto his lap.

His body now shook as he gritted his teeth in anger, anger towards himself and his foolishness. His childish ways. His ever mounting pride and his shame in what he had done. In everything he had done.

He couldn't take it back now. No matter what he did, or how desperately he prayed, or to who he begged, he knew that every attempt would be futile and ignored. He couldn't take it. Whatever mess he had gotten himself into only seemed to get bigger with every step he took, no matter which direction he followed, and he just didn't know where to turn anymore.

He need only to look to his right.

Dean felt his friend's pain, knew that he was truly sorry for what he had done and simply moved his hand from his wrist and over to his shoulders just as he buried his face in his hands. Castiel's cries had now turned into sobs.

He was broken. A pitiful shattered thing of what he once used to be. Who was he now if not a blasphemy, a stain amongst Heaven and a disease that was only worth destroying. He didn't deserve anyone's pity, not after everything he had done. And yet, here they were. The one man that still felt he was worth it. Worth the heartache. Worth the suffering. Worth the betrayals and even the pain. Worth it all and yet still stuck around, because he was family. He was his family, their family, and only then did he realize that he had now thought the same.

He couldn't remember when he had forgotten that. Forgotten that the man before him, holding onto him and keeping him together was family. His family. More so than so many of his own brethren, and yet, he couldn't seem to care about that right now. The ache he felt for losing so many of them, many at his own hand, over a war that just didn't seem worth it anymore. Not at the moment. But if it said anything about the righteous man now embracing him, those thoughts were quickly pushed back. He had been worth it, worth it all...and worth so much more than that.

Dean Winchester had been worth saving. Maybe, just maybe, he would be worth saving too, and he couldn't imagine anyone else but him to do just that for him.

Dean had been worth it. In return, Dean felt that Castiel was worth it too.

Castiel would hold onto that peace, for as long as it took. Just as he had gripped Dean tight and raised him from perdition, he knew that Dean Winchester would grip him, and raise him from his own.

Cas had eaten 12 times that day, mostly sitting down alone at the table and having second and third servings. He even woke up twice in the middle of the night to get something to eat. It was a pretty safe bet to say that his body was still trying to catch up with his lack of food, but by the fifth day his appetite had finally stabilized and he was satisfied with just three or four meals a day. Bobby couldn't be more than happy considering nearly a month's worth of groceries were gone by then.

Not that he would say anything about it, at least after Sam and Dean glared at him. Did they really need to say it?

He wasn't going to complain, putting his hands up in surrender as both Cas' mood and weight started to improve. Bobby had started seeing Castiel as his third surrogate son, had been for some time, and wasn't willing to let past actions and grudges affect his judgment when it came to trying to help him. The three of them had seen a significant change in the former angel in the following weeks, trying to entertain him with things to do when he was in desperate need of a distraction.

Gabriel still came to see him every once in a while, finished with his own personal vendetta of serving justice on his brothers behalf and ungracefully plopping himself onto Bobby's couch. He looked dead tired and almost sickly, his slightly pale skin bearing a thin sheen of sweat as he quickly fell asleep. Sam, Dean and Bobby didn't even need to ask, knowing that the archangel had also personally gone through a lot in his ordeal to rid of the angels who had hurt his brother and their friend. Gabriel was exhausted, both physically, mentally and emotionally, and simply allowed him to stay and rest. Castiel soon joined him, taking up space at the end of the couch and propping his head on his forearm, soon joining his brother in a peaceful slumber.

The hunters merely watched, both brothers protectively beside each other as if to confirm to the other that they were right there if they were needed. Sam and Dean knew that feeling, and simply left the brothers alone.

Days past before things starting picking up to around normal, and Sam, Dean and Bobby started discussing possibly hunting again as a means to finally step out of the house. Of course they couldn't leave Castiel all by himself, God knew he would probably burn the house down or something, and considered him tagging along after a little bit of training of course. Even as a former soldier and angel of the Lord, Castiel was human now, and needed to learn how to defend himself now that he was capable of getting hurt. That would happen within the coming weeks, and all three hunters quickly found the former angel to be a fast learner, at least when it came to most things like hand to hand combat and such.

When it came to handlings weapons however, Castiel required a bit more patience and time with Bobby's artillery and he made sure to teach him from the very beginning. First lesson was also the most important, the angel quickly learning that Bobby was not someone you wanted to piss off when it came to safety and guns. After unintentionally looking down the barrel of a loaded shotgun, and being caught by the older hunter, Castiel had been verbally ass-reamed for his stupidity and had been forced to take apart every gun in the house piece by piece and clean every last bit before putting them back together. Castiel found the task tiring and somewhat pointless, but after Bobby demonstrated their power on a line of bottles on the back fence, Cas quickly got the message as Bobby forced him to imagine it being his head instead.

Castiel looked downright terrified at the thought, which only had Sam and Dean laughing. If he had already gotten the "don't be an idiot" speech from the old man when it came to using a God damn safety on a gun, then he was definitely already a part of the family. Castiel quickly perfected his new skills with the help of Bobby and the two brothers, and he was soon enough off to his first hunt. It wasn't hard really, just a simple ghost to start him off with and it was quickly taken care of before heading back to Bobby's.

By the time they got back just a couple of days later, Castiel was glad to be back and couldn't imagine when he had considered Bobby's house to feel like home to him. He felt safe here, happy here, and so incredibly comfortable than he had in the longest time. It wasn't just because of the wards either. That had only been a small part of it. It was simply just the atmosphere. The emotions that radiated through its walls from the three men who generally occupied it, and now him. Castiel hadn't felt that in a really long time. Probably since before Lucifer's fall, and he grasped onto it almost in desperation.

Dean picked up on that soon enough as he found Castiel late one night sitting on Bobby's couch, studying his wrists and pondering over the lack of scars. He already knew that Gabriel had healed them, had healed every scar his body bore except for the one caused by the angels sword that had pierced through his back and out through his stomach, but still saw them clearly in his head as if he had just made them. This thought still scared him, and he was actually happy for Dean breaking him out of his thoughts.

"You okay Cas?"

Castiel didn't really know what to say as he lowered his hands and let them fall onto his knees, his eyes staring back down at the floor as he pondered his question. It didn't take long for him to come up with an answer, giving Dean a typical response that he himself would use when he wasn't sure what to say. "I'll live."

Dean knew a bullshit answer when he heard one.

"That's not what I meant Cas." Dean said, expecting the angel to say something else to avoid the discussion altogether as he had done since the incident happened.

"I know what you meant Dean." He said simply, entwining his fingers together as he looked up to look over at Dean.

The hunter was staring down at him, as if trying to study his friends thoughts and trying to unlock what he so desperately tried to hide. Dean didn't buy it however, and decided that he just had to ask what had been bugging him for weeks.

"Cas," he started, trying to carefully choose his words as he thought of what to say. These thoughts had been burning in his brain for a while now, and Dean just needed some form of answer so that he could finally ease them somewhat. He didn't care what it was, but he just wanted something to tell him that everything would be okay between them. "What were you dreaming about that day they brought you back?"

Castiel knew that this conversation was long overdue, but thankfully had had more than enough time to come up with a story to cover it up. The images of that dream still haunted him, even though he barely remembered it anymore these nights. Gabriel may have been able to take them away, but the emotions he felt still remained, leaving a stain of peril written within his very soul. He would never be able to clean them away, no matter how hard he tried. His only defense unfortunately was to lie to his friend again, keep a secret that he was sure to hurt both he and the hunter had it ever been discovered. No. Castiel needed to carry this burden alone, and would not involve Dean to carry it with him. The hunter had had more than his fair share already with Sam's nightmares.

"I dreamt about the moment I took in the souls from Purgatory. The moment I became chained to them and was no longer in control of myself. I was trapped Dean, and I don't ever want to feel that again." Another lie, mostly, but a necessary one.

Dean didn't know whether to believe him, something about his friends look causing Dean to question him, but chose not to push it as he led Cas back to his room to sleep. Castiel was hiding something, this much he figured was certain, and chose to leave it in his hands to tell Dean when he felt ready. Until then, Dean had enough to worry about.

Castiel chose to keep his nightmares to himself.

THE END

Authors End Note: But of course I come up with another one shot idea when I'm finished with this damn thing. Cas darn it. Although it's completely AU to this piece, it's still somewhat relatable so I may just post it or not. It's pretty much an alternate beginning for this story where they don't save Cas but get delivered a message from Claire Novak from Castiel. Still working on it, but we shall see what will become of it. Damn it, I just thought of another one! Shoot. Man I just love watching Cas suffer don't I? *facepalm* T.T (I can blame Cerulea for this one and her piece "Ready to Fall" since I just re-read it a couple days back) As always, please read and review and I hope this ending did some justice. Thank you to everyone who has done so so far. 8)

Now onto story recommendations. My latest guilty pleasure is "Mere Words" written by Merqurius. For those of you who haven't read it, it's an absolutely wonderful story that I highly recommend you see because it is an absolute spectacular piece. It's generally an alternate ending to 6x20 and an absolute joyride. Also, for those of us who have a LiveJournal, I have an excellent post 6x22 story I would also like to recommend from author strangenessandcharm. I was introduced to it by AlreadyPainfullyGone on Twitter and I loved it! It's very angsty and such but it is well worth the read. It's called "To Err is Human; to Forgive, Divine" and it's about 30,000+ words divided amongst 3 chapters. Really worth the read. I think you'll love it. Oh, and it is a slash piece, just as "Mere Words" will eventually be, but it's not mentioned until the very end if you're not into that. Just so you are aware. Now go read it, lol.