A/N:Yay, another update that could have been delievered a bit faster! Sorry about that. Christmas, being sick and my other stories kind of got in the way. That and my absolute demotovation to write a chapter for this story.

I'm really starting to wonder what the hell I was thinking when I uploaded it without thinkin it through properly. But don't worry, I will not leave this story (at least not yet). I'm determined to finish what I started and I have spent various hours at night trying to get to know my characters better.

And since I have done that, I thought it would be nice to share some of my new found knowledge with you, so keep reading and I'll be at the bottom

P.S: Special thanks to my beta justareaderfan. You did an excellent job just as always and I'm very lucky to have you :)

A - Antagonizing.

W-What have I done in life to deserve this torture?

K- Key element that seems to make up my life: Embarrassment.

W- Why, God? Just why?

A- Anxious to get out of this car.

R- Really, what could I have possibly done in my life to deserve this?

D- Death, just come and take me with you. I'm begging here.

I kept coming up with different ways to spell out the complete and utter awkwardness that I was currently experiencing.

Occasionally, I got stuck and compared my life to normal people's lives.

Me:

- My grandma probably escaped from hell

- Have been engaged before I was even born

- Want to trade that smoking hot of mine fiancé for any other guy

- Can not deal with said fiancé being in the same room as I am

Normal People:

-Have cute grandmas

-Get engaged at an appropriate age

-Happy to have a smoking hot fiancé

-Sleep in the same room as their partner

-DO NOT BARGE INTO THEIR FIANCE'S ROOM WITHOUT ASKING, OGLE THEIR NEARLY NAKED STATE THEN MAKE A WEIRD EXIT JUST BEFORE HAVING TO SIT IN THE SAME CAR WITH THAT PERSON!

Let's not forget that my fiancé and I are not exactly on speaking terms- at least not for any kind of deep conversation- and never even saw the bare legs of the other before. Until today that is. I've managed to cross that line and go far beyond. Now what was making it really bad?

I couldn't get the damn image of half-naked Edward out of my mind. It would be less horrible if he wasn't sitting next to me in the car, not talking to me like he always did.

He was giving me some serious silent treatment and it drove me crazy.

I just wanted him to scream at me and start lecturing me about proper etiquette and how you are not supposed to just walk into other people's rooms.

Did I get any of that? Of course not. I never got what I wanted.

If I were to pray for sunshine, God would just shit on my face and tell me to try again.

It was a very gross visual, but it kind of reflected how I saw my life.

I could pray for freaking world peace and I'd get World War III ringing my door bell.

To put it in simple terms: My life fucking sucked.

There are probably a million people all around the world, who would have my head for that.

I had incredibly rich parents, one of the most delicious men in the world as my fiancé and absolutely no pressure of achieving higher goals than giving birth to a bunch of kids.

Then again, none of these people were sitting in that car with Edward, trying not to die of embarrassment and guilt.

If the fucking universe was not out to get me, then I just had no reasonable explanation for all recent events.

Well maybe, Edward was just the most powerful bad luck charm in history.

All of this crap only started ever since he joined the picture.

I scowled out the window and crossed my arms even tighter over my chest.

At least I had gone from utterly embarrassed to pissed at the universe.

There had to be an improvement somewhere in there.

During the entire drive I didn't dare to look in Edward's direction even once. I was too scared of what I would see.

Besides, I had already seen more than enough of him today.

It should fill the quota for the remainder of the year.

So I continued to scowl out the window, cursing at every God that I could think of and then apologizing while explaining why I was cursing at them in the first place. It always brought me back to the cursing and so it was a never ending cycle of me hating my life.

Eventually, the car came to a stop in the drive way of a beautiful, big and white mansion.

I've always loved houses that had ivy growing along the outer walls, so I instantly fell in love with this place.

I kind of wished that my parents would ever appreciate simple beauty, instead of going overboard with just about anything.

While I was admiring the house, the car door suddenly opened.

I looked up in confusion, only to find Edward standing there. He was deliberately not looking at me.

Fine with me.

I thanked him quietly and got out of the car, following him inside.

It was kind of hard to follow him though, because he was all but running up to the house.

The front door opened before Edward could have burst right through it.

It wouldn't have surprised me if he had just kicked the door open, in order to get away from me faster.

I wouldn't even have stopped him.

But instead of that happening, we had Esme standing in the door way with a bright and happy smile on her beautiful face.

"Finally, the two of you sure took your time," she sighed dramatically.

"Sorry mom...something came up," Edward mumbled and placed a chaste kiss on her cheek before he squeezed himself passed her and vanished.

Esme looked back at me with a slightly dumbfounded expression.

"What's wrong with him?" she asked almost worriedly.

I only shrugged in answer. Sure, I had a pretty good idea as to what could be wrong with him but I wasn't going to share that story with anyone.

"As far as I'm concerned, he's just as weird as always," I noted.

Esme made a face at that, but then smiled gently at me.

"Well, I'm glad to see that you're doing alright at least," she started gushing and led me into the house. "Alice told me that you were worried that I would be mad at you after the incident at the charity event. Let me just reassure you that I'm not mad at you. I wasn't too thrilled, sure, but I don't see any reason to punish you with long speeches or anything like that."

While she was babbling away, I took in the entire interior of the house.

Everything was kept in light colours and didn't seem completely over the top- it just had a comfortable atmosphere and made me feel more at home than my own home did.

"You know, you can just join the others in the backyard if you want to," she continued as we entered the kitchen.

Through the large glass slide doors I saw the rest of the family.

Carlisle was standing at the grill with a ridiculous looking apron on and spoke to Edward and Emmett about something that he must be very passionate about, judging by the way he was neglecting the meat and waved the spatula around.

Emmett had his hand around Edward's shoulder, obviously laughing, while Edward just shook his head.

I was pretty sure though that I detected a slight grin on his face.

Meanwhile, Alice, Rose and Jasper were sitting together on a canopy swing, each of them with a glass of wine in the hand.

Looking back at Edward, who now smacked his brother on the back of his head, I decided that I wouldn't go out and join the others just yet.

"Actually," I started slowly, not exactly knowing how I was going to phrase my thoughts. "I'd like to talk to you?"

I hated it when I said something that was not intended to be a question but it came out as a question anyway.

Esme, who had already been busying herself with something in the kitchen, looked up at me in surprise.

"You do? Is there something wrong?"

I made a vague gesture at that.

"Don't tell me that this has something to do with Edward being so moody."

"He's always moody," I stated with a frown.

Edward had yet to prove the opposite.

Esme looked at me with an interested expression.

"I take it that you and Edward don't get along too well?" she inquired.

"More like, not at all," I muttered.

Instead of starting a long preach about taking on responsibilities and just having to get it over with, Esme giggled.

"Do you want some wine, Bella?" she asked. "I'll make sure that you won't drink too much."

I grimaced at her amused expression but agreed anyway.

Esme poured us both a glass and then went to sit at the kitchen table, indicating for me to take a seat as well.

For a few moments we both sat there in silence, me not knowing what to say and Esme waiting for me to say something.

Eventually, I let out a sigh.

"Esme, how did you manage this whole thing? I mean, you and Carlisle don't seem to hate each other. Hell, you even managed to put three children in this world, so you must be good at this whole arranged marriage thing."

I cast another look at the family outside.

I just couldn't imagine myself with Edward and our three kids. That was just too surreal.

"It wasn't that hard. I fell in love with him," Esme stated simply.

I looked back at her and I was pretty sure that my mouth was hanging open.

Not that I never heard of love or didn't believe that she fell in love with him, I was just surprised that she could.

As far as I was concerned I would never feel anything remotely close to love towards Edward.

Esme smiled at me.

"Don't look at me like that. It is possible, you know," she said.

"But...how did you manage that? You can't tell me that you loved him from the very first moment you ever saw him."

She shook her head.

"That was certainly not the case. But the first moment I ever saw him I did subconsciously make a choice."

I raised my eyebrows in question.

"Carlisle's family is old money. They've stuck to traditions for centuries, even when they came to America so it just made sense for them to find a suitable wife for Carlisle and he didn't object. He was raised like that and didn't see anything wrong with it. He just accepted things the way they were."

This sense of duty was definitely admirable, seeing that I didn't have any of it.

"My parents weren't nearly as wealthy as his are. I had a very comfortable and normal life, although my parents did spent a lot of money on my education. I went to the same private school as Carlisle did.

"I must have caught his mother's eyes at some point, because she suddenly appeared at my parents' door step and asked them to let her son marry me. My parents agreed and even if it may seem a bit cruel at first, I know they only had good intentions. They knew that by marrying into the Cullen family, I would be able to lead a very good life, not ever worrying about anything. They really wanted what was best for me and seeing that we were starting to have financial issues, I felt like I should do them this favour."

"Wait, are you telling me that your parents sold you to the Cullen's?" I asked disbelievingly.

"No, not at all. But by getting engaged to Carlisle, I was already an official member of their family and the Cullen's insisted on taking care of me. So my parents no longer had to pay those horrendous school bills and got to do something for themselves for a change."

I nodded in understanding, although I could not relate to this at all.

How a person could be so utterly selfless was beyond me. Then again, I've been born with a golden spoon in my mouth, so there was no way that I could relate.

"So how did you manage to fall in love with him? And how did you get him to wear that apron?" I asked, gesturing toward her husband, who was now paying more attention to the grill.

Esme chuckled at that.

"He wanted to wear that apron, but I guess it is my fault that his taste changed so dramatically."

Again I raised my eyebrows.

"You see, Carlisle was brought up in a similar manner like you. He always got what he wanted and he didn't have to work for anything, but still his parents expected him to make a reasonable living on his own. Just for the sake of making him look good.

He had been very reserved and uptight, so it was hard for me to deal with him.

I sometimes felt like speaking to an alien."

I let out an agreeing hum, knowing exactly what that felt like.

Esme grinned.

"When Carlisle and I graduated High School, the two of us went off to college and it was then that I really grasped what I had gotten myself into, because we had to live together on our own.

It was a really scary thought to have an apartment with Carlisle and we got into a lot of fights, simply because we never spent much time together before."

She shot me a look.

"After some time, the two of us just didn't interact much with each other. We were just indifferent to one another and did whatever we wanted to. It started to bother me after some months though, because everyone knew that the two of us were engaged and it kind of ruined the college experience.

"I wouldn't get invited to parties, boys didn't talk to me for obvious reasons and people just found me overall intimidating, mainly because of Carlisle's family background.

It was quite frustrating and since I didn't have many people to fall back on, I decided that I needed to get along better with Carlisle. Because at the end of the day, we only had each other since we were so far away from home.

"So I tried to find some common ground between us and let me tell you that was not easy at all. Carlisle was really hard to crack. He hardly revealed anything about himself. But bit by bit, he slowly started opening up to me and we started to get along better. We found things we had in common and that we could do together and just managed to talk like normal people.

Carlisle had always been very curious about the life I used to have before his family took me in and he was very intrigued by it. He always wanted me to take him to the grocery store or go bowling with him. It was a bit like having a toddler around.

But I enjoyed the time we spent together and before I realized it I had fallen in love with him.

I kept it to myself though, because it seemed awkward to share that with him. Despite the fact that we were engaged it wasn't like we really were a couple. We were more something like friends.

Then he graduated and we headed back home, where everyone was going crazy with wedding preparations.

It was kind of strange because being away from it all kind of let us both forget that we were supposed to get married. We didn't exactly work as a couple and we were both a bit stressed because of that.

His family was of course unconcerned by all this and just made sure that everything was going to work like they had planned. The whole time before the wedding, Carlisle and I got to spent nearly no time with each other and when we did there was always a family member nearby.

I really started missing him during that time, because I was so used to having him around.

By the time the wedding came around I was a nervous wreck, because everyone kept pressuring me.

Basically, the whole family told me that I should get pregnant as fast as possible, so the thought of the honey moon just freaked me out.

I didn't get to talk to Carlisle of course and so I was left to deal with my worries myself.

"The wedding came and went and I just went on auto-pilot the entire time. I was glad to have Carlisle by my side again, but being in the spotlight never did anything good for me. I remember that Carlisle was holding my hand almost the entire time and smiling whenever I looked at him. It was the only soothing part about the wedding.

"So when we finally got to depart for our honey moon, I was immensely relieved and scared at the same time. But the nerves only really kicked in when we got to our hotel.

I thought that it was going to be awkward and tense, but Carlisle was having none of that.

He just pulled me into the bedroom-"

"I really don't wanna hear that," I protested, shifting away from Esme.

I had been very engrossed in her tale until that moment.

Esme laughed at me and then got up to get us both a refill.

"Nothing happened that night. Carlisle was so tired that he just fell asleep next to me," she told me. "When I asked him the next day how he could have been so tired, he just told me that he couldn't sleep without me nearby, so he hadn't been sleeping well ever since we got home. And from then on this story turns to an angle that you probably don't want to know about."

I made a grimace at that and prevented myself from looking outside at Carlisle. I didn't need my mind filling with images.

"Well, I don't think that Edward and I will ever be in love. I just don't feel like I could ever love him or any man for that matter," I stated, when Esme re-joined me at the table.

She shrugged.

"It might be true, but you can still try to be friends. It'll make a lot of things easier."

"I can't be friends with him either. We are like polar opposites."

Esme tilted her head to the side in a thoughtful manner.

"That really doesn't mean that you can't be friends. You just have to learn to understand each other."

I scoffed at that. "That's going to be impossible. No offense, but your son is not someone that is easy to understand or easy to get along with."

Again, Esme smiled that gentle smile of hers.

"Yes, I know," she replied. "Alice and Emmett have complained about that a few times as well, when they were kids."

That really didn't surprise me.

"They grew out of it though. Although sometimes I still feel like they haven't entirely clicked yet. Edward has always been more reserved and a bit on the shy side."

I wanted to remark on that but Esme held up a finger to stop me from doing so.

"He's been a very quiet child. So quiet that I worried a lot about him. He wasn't able to relate well to other kids his age and he would sometimes go an entire day without speaking. And growing up with Alice and Emmett probably only made it harder for him to speak his mind. You know those two and they are both very extroverted and energetic."

I nodded at that.

"Between those two it was very hard for him to grow out of his shyness. The only time when I had them all three sitting together in silence was when Edward played the piano.

Alice would always dance to his music and Emmett always occupied himself with something in silence. Every time Edward played they all sat in the library together and it would be perfectly peaceful in this house."

The picture that I found in Edward's room popped up into my mind and I tried to imagine those three as adults, sitting together around the instrument.

"And whenever Alice and Emmett were starting to jump up and down the walls, Edward would just retreat, disappearing from sight until his siblings calmed down. He spent a lot of time with his grandfather then and Mr. Cullen was always happy to see him. He always told me that he was a brilliant child and that he would grow up to be a genius."

Esme looked out the window and sent her son a dreamy look, who seemed to sense that because he suddenly looked up and smiled at her.

My breath caught upon seeing his smiling face. He just looked so beautiful with that wide grin on his face and for a moment I felt like I could see his entire soul.

He caught sight of me though and his smile disappeared quickly and he turned back to his early activity.

I couldn't help but sigh at this. That kind of reaction was the reason why I was fairly certain that Edward and I would never be able to be friends. We weren't even good at being room-mates.

Naturally, Esme caught the exchange and her eyes were sparkling with amusement when she looked back at me.

I half expected her to say something about me wiping her son's smile of his face, but none of that came.

"You know, spending so much time with his grandfather made Edward more of an old soul than he already was. Mr. Cullen is no doubt a good man and very generous but he has a habit of being close-minded and not liking change. I had a hard time freeing Carlisle from some of his father's teachings- they were just too old-fashioned. And now I have Edward with a similar set of mind as his father before, which is slightly frustrating to me.

But I'm still hoping that he will eventually grow out of it."

She gave me a hopeful look, which didn't sit well with me at all.

Surely, she didn't expect me to change her son for the better? As if I was the right person for that job.

"There is one thing that I wanted to ask you though," Esme spoke up again.

I looked back up at her.

"If you are so strictly against getting married to Edward, why don't you just leave? Nobody is forcing you to do this."

A/N: Yes, I know that it's very short. I could have typed more but I didn't want to keep you all waiting and I also found this to be an appropriate spot to end the chapter.

Of course, now I'm facing the dilema of explaining to you why Bella didn't run yet and I'm really scared of doing that. I was asked this various times and I really had to think hard to come up with a reasonable explanation.

This was never really supposed to be part of the story, but I don't like to have gaping logic holes in my stories.

Anyway, I will try to update as fast as I can but I can't make any promises. Real life just threw another thing at me and I'm happy to have finsihed this before I have to confront the newest event.

So I guess, we see each other again next year- Happy New Years to all of you and thanks for reading :)

(Don't forget to leave a review, even if you're just here to complain)