The Tok'ra are doing a recruitment programme. Unfortunately not all the candidates are ideal...

Found this on my computer. It's a bit crazy and was in response to a prompt over at twisting the hellmouth. Until I get round to resurrecting my account over there this'll have to do :P but kudos have to go to original idea (If I remember what it was- it's been too long). I had fun with this though.

Disclaimer: I own none of the characters.

"Are you sure about this?"

"Sir, they have the security clearance... and they did save the world on live television... Their last concert solved the Iranian Nuclear Crisis." Carter smiled helplessly.

"But they're..." Colonel O'Neil flailed his arms towards the two musicians.

"Wyld Stallyons, Dude!"

"We'll be the best hosts ever!"

"Hey, Ted; do you think we can visit Station's planet?"

"I don't know, Bill. That rocket Station built for a visit home was awesome."

"When did he say he'll be back?"

"I think it was Friday." Bill replied, scratching at his red hat.

"Then we'll be able to do our new vid! Excellent!" Bill and Ted played their imaginary air guitars.

SGC stared at them, their mouths agape.

"I still can't believe they volunteered." Daniel pressed a hand to his forehead.

"I can't believe Death volunteered." Jack countered, sullenly sinking back into the chair behind his desk.

"They threatened me..." Death stood in the corner, depressed, and idly spinning his reaper in his hand.

"Aw come on, you know we wouldn't Melvin you again, Death!" Bill patted his friend on the shoulder.

"Melvin?" Teal'c asked in curiosity.

"Dude, but what about the concert? I thought we were supposed to be introducing bands." Ted whispered loudly to Bill.

Bill looked back at him with concern in his eyes. "Ted. I don't think we're going to be that kind of host."

"Neither do I, Bill" Ted gulped audibly. "but is that...?"

"I think it is, Ted."

As Bill and Ted looked at the creatures in the tank they could only say one thing. "Bogus..."

Death notably cheered as he came to pat each of the men on the shoulder. "This will be worse than military school."

"No way...!"

In the end, Bill S. Preston Esquire and Ted Theodore Logan were only hosts for a period of about six months. However, in that time their music defeated the Goa'uld, Ori, Wraith, Established a connection to the lost city of Atlantis, Saved the Asguard from dying and persuaded the Ancients that humans had evolved enough to be taught properly how to handle their technology.

Their Symbiotes, devestated at being separated from their hosts- but understanding that they were holding Bill and Ted back from fulfilling their full potential- formed their own band with their new hosts and developed a cult following for decades, with the hits "Only half of me loves you, It's not a snake- it's my Tok'ra and the controversial Don't break my heart/I'd rather be Melvined than be with you.

As for SG1, Doctor Daniel Jackson was finally able to publish all his research he had undertaken prior to, and as part of the SGC programme. He was given a Nobel Prize.

Teal'c was reunited with his family and freed his people. His introduction of them to the Wild Stallions and his favourite films, Star Wars, led to the creation of a new society adored for centuries throughout the entire galaxy.

Colonel Jack O'Neill after updating his cd collection was able to retire and spend his days fishing at his favourite cabin by the lake. Where there was no fish.

Major Samantha Carter, after a long and successful career working with Station on a new form of energy source that both eliminated the need for fossil fuels and solved the worldwide energy crisis (winning several nobels between them in the process), joined him.