A/N: One of these days, I told myself. One of these days, I'll write a one-shot with an actual plot. And you know what? This... is not that day. I'm still spewing these pointless little things until I get something resembling my muses back. XD But here, have some crazy!Malik to tide you over.

Disclaimer: I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh!

Sometimes it scares the ever living fuck out of me.

Because what if I'm wrong?

No.

That's not what worries me. I know I'm not wrong. Not with this.

Some days, it's like I'm on top of the whole bloody world, and you had better believe that I will not lose. I am Malik Mother-Fucking Ishtar, and I will have my revenge. I cannot be beaten because I will win. And it's so damn easy.

Other days, it's a lie.

It's okay, though. Humans lie a lot. Really. We say we don't give two shits what the world says about us. Individuality is golden, or whatever the fuck they tried to teach us. The same crap that's been spoon-fed to us since before we were old enough to even know what the words meant. And you know what? Half the time I believe it.

Tell myself I believe it.

But the other half. The times when I'm sitting on my roof and a song I don't know is playing on the radio and I remember that I'm really fucking terrified. Those random moments of dawning, curl-up-and-die comprehension.

But hey. You try pissing off an all-powerful Egyptian spirit and see how well that goes for you.

I'm not a total coward. I do not sit there and cry myself to sleep over my dead-beat asshole of a father and the mother that I killed just by being born. I can't afford that.

But everyone has moments of weakness. My issue is not lack of strength. It's lack of control.

I think I can honestly say I've lost my mind. I let go of it for a minute, and I think someone else came along and scooped it up.

It's all because of him.

He's the one who's got my mind in his hand. He's the one who controls everything. He pulls the strings, and I dance. He doesn't let me have much, but in the end he's going to help me win. I know he will. I don't even have a choice anymore, because he's everywhere.

He's in my head and my heart and my very soul, feeding me and controlling me and tearing me apart, forcing me to raise my hands and—

strike them down, all of them, every single pathetic person that stands in my way, they'll all die, I'll beat them all, they—

Do you see now?

Do you see my problem? Even if wanted to give up this obsession, I know he won't let me. He whispers his words, and I pretend to believe him. It's a nice system we've worked out. A win-win situation.

The day I say no is the day he'll take over. I'm running on autopilot now, but I can feel him getting stronger. He doesn't care much for revenge, but he cares a lot for blood. If I say no... he'll finally own me.

And I can't let him have everything.