So, I was browsing through the Heist Society fanfiction archive (so I don't lose my mind waiting for Uncommon Criminals), reading all the takes on the time Kat tried to steal the Monet from Hale. Then I realized is that I didn't see any fanfictions based on the prompt about the monkey in Barcelona! Now I have taken it upon myself to do so. Here it is :)

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Heist Society. It all belongs to Ally Carter.

"Hey. We all agreed that the monkey seemed perfectly well trained at the time."

-W.W. Hale the Fifth

Something Bobby Bishop never understood, no matter how hard he tried, was why he didn't send W.W. Hale the Fifth away. For one thing, he wasn't originally from the family. He had just sneakily followed Kat home after she tried (and failed) to steal his Monet, something that had inclined Uncle Eddie to let him in. After all, how many rich boys successfully follow a thief girl without anyone noticing? Clearly, he was born with sneaky blood.

Another reason Bobby Bishop didn't like Hale was because of the way he looked at Kat. Bobby saw it and he didn't like it at all.

But Hale made a good thief, although his money would've made him an excellent asset even if he had the grace of a blind baby giraffe. Which he didn't. Bobby was jerked back to the present by an exasperated sigh from Kat.

"Hale," she said reproachfully. "You can't just go buy a monkey!"

"Yes I can," Hale said. "Look, it says so right here."

"But we have a job to do!"

"Kitty Kat, the monkey is trained. Watch this. Dance, monkey, dance!" And so the golden monkey did begin to dance. It brought a tiny smile to Kat's lips, bringing an even wider smile to Hale's and a twinkle in his eyes.

Kat struggled remain serious.

"Just because he can dance doesn't mean he's trained for...other things," she said, giving Hale a meaningful look.

"Come on, Kitty Kat," Hale said persuasively. "I'll be sixteen in three days! It'll be my little present to myself! Besides, I need the company when you leave me for jobs." Hale's voice was teasing, but his eyes were almost imperceptibly dark as he spoke. No one needed to say anything to know that Hale would be alone for his birthday. Again. Hale was alone most of the time, but Bobby could understand that being alone on days when your loved ones were supposed to care might hurt the most. He thought of Kat's mother, about how alone he felt without her sometimes. Because even Kat wasn't enough to fill that empty gap.

"The monkey does seem well trained," Bobby said suddenly. "And really, he might make a good distraction during a job."

The hope that lit up Hale's eyes was heartbreaking.

"But, Hale," Kat said, "once we're done with the job, we're going to need to take the monkey and hide it until we celebrate your birthday. We can bring him out with a little bow and everything."

With nothing but a smile, Hale practically danced into the store, fully prepared to empty his wallet for the monkey.

"It is sort of cute," Bobby Bishop said. "Once you look past the grotesquely flat face."

"Dad!" Kat said. "Don't make fun of him! He can probably understand what you're saying right now!"

"If you say so," he said with a shrug. They waited patiently for Hale, every minute precious. After all, you can't steal time.

"He's all mine now," Hale said as he walked towards them, looking more like he usually did, calm and composed rather than as childish as he had when he'd first rushed into the store.

"Good for you, Hale," Kat said. "Can we go now?"

"Let's go," Hale agreed. "The three of us plus W.W. Hale the Sixth."

"Seriously?" Kat snorted. "You're going to name the monkey after you?"

"Not after me," Hale said. "All Hale men are named after W.W. Hale the First, so it's more like he's named after—"

"Alright, alright," Kat said, waving her arms in the air to shut him up. Hale smirked.

There's always a certain exhilaration that comes after pulling of a heist. It was Bobby Bishop's favorite part of being a thief. And as he fled the manor silently, priceless painting in tow, he was living the high.

Hale the Fifth and Sixth both waited with Kat at the bottom of the hill. They had played their parts as lookouts well.

"We got it," Bobby said, beaming. "Let's go home."

And all would've gone brilliantly, had the monkey been as trained as everyone else had thought him to be. Instead, Hale the Sixth jumped onto the painting and proceeded to urinate all over it. For a moment, no one could say anything. Then, for the first time in his life, Bobby Bishop freaked out.

"Get off!" he hissed. "Get off my painting!" The monkey reacted by moving from the painting to Bobby's head, sharp fingers scratching, nearly taking out his eye.

It took both Kat and Hale to pry the monkey away. Hale looked sadly down at Hale the Sixth.

"You're a savage thing, aren't you?" he said. The monkey blinked, big dark eyes sad. Hale sighed. "Well, Marcus is allergic to animals, so I suppose I wouldn't have been able to keep you anyway. Be free, Hale the Sixth! Be free!"

The monkey tore free, running off to no doubt wreck more havoc all around Barcelona.

There was silence, broken by Bobby Bishop.

He said icily, "I suppose that this painting isn't worth anything anymore."

Hale studied it thoughtfully. "I suppose not," he agreed.

Needless to say, the plane ride home was very awkward.

When they landed, Kat took Hale aside. She thought her father couldn't hear, but that was because she didn't know about the listening device in her hair clip.

"I'm mad at you," she said.

"Are you really?" Hale asked. His voice wasn't amused. It was strangely serious. Kat was quiet for a long time.

"Well, sort of," she admitted. "Not really. But you can expect me to bring this little incident up whenever I need to."

"I've been told I'm a hard person to stay mad at," Hale told her.

"I'm sure," Kat said. "Anyway, Dad'll be pissed for a couple years. But I'll still celebrate your birthday with you, if you want. I know that it won't be half as fun without a rabid monkey around, but it can't be too—oh. Hale?"

Hale tugged her small body to his in a bone-crushing hug, clearly forgetting that her already angry father was watching.

"Thank you, Kitty Kat," Hale sighed from where he had his face buried in her hair. Kat hugged him back.

"No problem...Walter," she said. Hale laughed.

"Wrong again," he said, pleased. Kat huffed.

"Warren?" she tried.

"No."

"Wallace?"

"My parents may not like me, but they don't hate me!"

Kat chuckled and Bobby Bishop decided that it was time to leave.

He beckoned to the children who followed without question.

Bobby turned around and found himself terrifyingly close to a man carrying a monkey that looked suspiciously similar to W.W. Hale the Sixth. Bobby's nearly jumped back, realizing with horror that he was scared of a monkey. Naturally. He could rob a museum without a second thought, but now he had a phobia of monkeys. And it was all Hale's fault.

He decided that he would never, ever, ever forgive W.W. Hale the Fifth...or W.W. Hale the Sixth.

And there it is, my short little one-shot and first ever Heist Society fanfic. What do you think?