Disclaimer: I don't own Zombieland nor gain any profit from it. I'm just a yaoi obsessed fan.

Contains: AU(Alternate Universe), implied Mature stuff, Male Pregnancy, yaoi boyxboy - Talumbus, maybe some fluffiness moments. If any of these displeases you, then I strongly suggest you click the back arrow. It is there for a reason.

Warning: Language, Mpreg, mature moments (possibly implied), implied lemon, corny fluffiness, OOCness (I am so sorry for that).

*Columbus' POV*

I have no idea what happened since it seemed like everything happened simultaneously. One moment I was sitting in the living room, watching a movie with Tallahassee and another moment I'm violently puking my brains out in the toilet again. This is tiresome. I've been sick for about two months now. Puking my brains out seemed to fit into my daily schedule now. I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. Tally insisted over and over that I go see a doctor but as always, I stubbornly refused him. I don't want them to draw blood.

While I was sick, I didn't care, at that moment anyway, that Tally was with me, rubbing my back soothingly until the nausea passed. It was weird as hell that he's comforting me considering what kind of person he is. He's done this every time my head is in the toilet of course, but it still weirds me out. I sat up, wiping my mouth with tissue. Then a sudden wave of vertigo hit me. I would've collapsed onto the tile floor but Tally caught me just in time. He lifted my frail body up and placed me over the sink. I turned the handle and I rinsed my mouth out with water. When I was done, he examined my now pale, fragile features then a worried look came across his own features. Okay, now I'm really scared...

"God damn you're pale. I'm taking you to a doctor, spit-fuck. And I'm not taking no for an answer this time." he said firmly as I flinched at the thought. I hate doctors and he knew that. I resented him every time he even suggests that. Doctors meant needles and of course I tried to protest against him like always.

"No, I-I'm okay." I said quickly as I stood up straight. Another wave of vertigo hit me again and I swayed to the side. Tallahassee caught me again before I collapsed and steadied me.

"Really." He was definitely unconvinced. His pearly blue eyes said so. "I'm making you a doctor's appointment. And don't even think of bitching at me about it. I don't want to hear it."

I was about to protest again but he already left. I sighed, feeling irritated at my lover for being this way. He knows full well I hate needles so why is he doing this to me? It's so unfair. My face slipped into a pout as my hand instinctively slipped onto my stomach and I gasped. I felt something there and went to stand in front of the full length mirror behind the door before lifting up my gray shirt. Another small gasp escaped my lips when I saw a small but noticeable bump on my normally lanky midsection. What the hell? Was this here before and I hadn't notice it? I had always been so skinny. Even though I ate a lot, my body never seemed to put on the weight. I've been sick all this time too and that alone should've had me lose more weight, not gain some. How is this even possible? I haven't been able to keep my food down much because I was so violently sick all of the time.

I glanced down at my stomach then touched it again and noticed it was rather hard underneath my skin. Then I looked back at my reflection in the mirror, my eyes locking onto my stomach immediately.

Then it dawned on me.

I've been sleeping a lot, more so than usual. The puking, the nonstop food cravings. I've also been fighting with Tally over the most minute things. Sometimes I just snap at him for no reason. Impossible. There's no way in hell I could be...pr-pregnant. But the symptoms I'm having add up to it. There is no question about it. I didn't think this sort of thing could happen to a man or any man. But it has happened to me. It did happen. I felt sick. Not the usual sickness I've been going through for the last two months but uncomfortable.

"Columbus?" I jumped at the sound of my name being called.

"Y-yes?" I responded as I let go of the hem of my shirt, letting it fall over my stomach, concealing the bump. I suppressed the squeak that threatened to come out when he came in.

"We have to be at the doctors by noon tomorrow." he told me.

"Okay." My voice was a noticeably higher octave when I answered him again. He noticed that of course.

"What's wrong, Columbus? Feeling sick again?"

"No. Just...nervous about going there." I lied. Actually that was the truth but it wasn't the reason I was nervous and on the verge of tears. It's because of the life form that I've come to realize is growing in my midsection. I wonder if Tally knows this as well...

The next morning came and I was curled up in fetal position on the bathroom floor when Tally found me. I finished throwing up earlier then decided to lay there on the floor and fell asleep shortly after. The cool tile floor helped with the nausea a little. I opened my eyes at the sound of the bathroom door opening and didn't bother getting up. I just wanted to lie there. The nausea hadn't passed but at least I stopped puking. I whined when the cool tile floor left my cheek. Tally carried me out to the truck carefully and I sprawled across the back seat as he got in the driver's seat then turned on the engine. I tried to rest since being sick earlier exhausted me but the rocking motion of the truck as Tallahassee turned around multiple corners and the feel of it going up and downhill did not help my current state. A wave of nausea hit me but nothing was left in my stomach to puke up.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, Tally stopped the truck. I carefully sat up and looked through the tinted windows of the back seat and noticed we were parked in front of the clinic. Tally got out then opened the door before I made a move for it. That's surprising considering that he's older than I am. I carefully slid off the leather seats and hopped out of the truck with his help, trying not to trigger the nausea then headed inside. My heart was pounding against my ribcage and I started feeling sick, not like I'm going to puke. Just uncomfortable. My legs felt like jelly as I tried to walk and Tallahassee had to keep a firm hold on my waist to keep me from collapsing to the ground that very second before we finally reached the front counter.

My eyes widened when Tally spoke to the woman there in the most polite tone he could manage. This was so unusual…

"Hello, we're here for the doctor's appointment. My lover Alex(1) here is sick and we don't know why." He said as the woman's eyes flickered to me then back to Tally. It's still so weird how he says my name. It's full of concern now but whenever he says it, it's full of love and affection for me. The same goes for me when I say his name, Daniel.(2) I have no idea what had possessed us to use the names of the cities we were born in but it just stuck with us ever since. We're a strange pair of people…

"Just sign him in then wait until his name is called. The doctor will see you in a bit." said the woman as Tallahassee signed the clipboard with several different dates and signatures then pulled me to the chairs to sit down. The wait was agonizing. During this time, I kept fidgeting and it annoyed the hell out of Tally. He shot a few irritated glares my way, making me cower in my chair and he immediately looked like he regretted it.

"Sorry about that but you really do need to calm down, Alex." he whispered in my ear then quickly kissed the top of my head.

"Trying." I muttered back at him, my face ablaze from his little gesture. How can I calm down when he does things like that to me? It's not fair. Jerk. I thought to myself as my face slipped into a pout. Minutes passed and I was finally able to calm myself.

Then my panicky self was back when the door to the left of the front counter opened and a woman with a white doctor's coat on peered out of the doorway. When she called my name, Tally had to force me back onto my feet since I didn't want to move and guided me towards the door.

"Okay, come with me so I can take your measurements and weigh you." she said to me, smiling lightly. We followed her until we got to her office then walked inside. She closed the door as she beckoned me to stand on the scale to weigh me as Tally sat down in the chair that was against the wall. The doctor wrote my weight down on the clipboard she was holding. Then she told me to stand against the wall with the height measurements from what looked like eight feet all the way down to a foot which was like up to half of my calves. I did as she said and she pulled that weird thing down until it pressed down on my thick, dark curls and she scribbled my height down on the clipboard.

"Okay. Alex, will you sit on the vinyl mattress while I ask you and your guardian some questions?" I saw Tallahassee glare at the woman when she referred to him as a guardian as I sat down on the semi hard surface covered by the white crinkly paper. His normally warm, blue eyes were hard as stone and darkened slightly with irritation.

"I'm his lover." He replied to her curtly. I flinched. Ooh, I felt that and it wasn't even directed at me. I noticed the woman cringe away from Tallahassee's intense glare.

"S-sorry. So, what's wrong with your lover?" she asked, looking somewhat afraid of Tally now. He's seriously too scary for his own good.

Tally explained to the doctor what was wrong with me and that it had been going on for almost two months. The woman frowned at that last part as she placed a stethoscope on my chest and listened to my heartbeat then checked my blood pressure. She mumbled something about a high heart rate and my blood pressure being abnormal or some crap like that as she checked off some symptoms on the list she had. By the time she was done, I was getting bored and Tally was already in a foul mood. Then out of nowhere, the doctor prodded my freaking stomach and I yelped in pain.

"That fucking hurt!" I shouted at her, Tallahassee's face went from looking irritated to straight confusion. What the hell did she do that for?

"I can't believe it. How is that even possible?" She mumbled to herself.

"Alex?" I looked at the doctor with a flash of irritation and curiosity, frowning. "I don't know how to say this, but…you're pregnant."

No way… I thought. She isn't serious. I stared at her wide-eyed, waiting for her to burst out laughing and say that she was kidding. But it didn't happen.

"Impossible." I whispered as Tallahassee glared at her with full blown anger showing clearly in his features.

Uh oh…

"Are you fucking with us or are you telling me that Alex, my Alex might be pregnant?" Tallahassee growled. I'm very sure that if the doctor was a guy, Tally would so punch him at this moment.

"I can assure you that what I'm saying is the truth." She said, standing her ground.

"But I'm a guy. It's impossible. It's impossible for a man to be pregnant." I told her. She sighed as she took off her stethoscope, placed them in my ears then pressed the cool surface against my now bare stomach.

I gasped audibly when I heard the sound of what sounds like fluttering wings. Like a humming bird. The sound of rapid, flapping wings. A small heart beat… My eyes widened and she nodded confirming that what I am hearing is very much in fact a small heartbeat of a child. That very thought sent ice through my veins but then it was chased away with warmth. I'm pregnant…with Tally's child. Our child… Tallahassee's widened blue eyes matched mine as the news registered in his mind. This had to have surprised him more than it's surprised me. Everything that has been going on with me had suddenly made so much sense to him now. I'm pregnant. Somehow it was easier for me to say that now. How weird.

Then the fear started creeping in. What if Tally didn't want this child? What if he wanted me to get rid of it? I was terrified of what he might say too. Different scenarios of us fighting over this child flashed through my already overflowing mind. I flinched when he strided over to me and shut my eyes. Then I felt a pair of arms wrap around me and my eyes snapped open to look up at him. He was smiling. Tally… I couldn't help but smile back at him and nuzzled my head into his neck. I could see that he was extremely happy about this. He wanted this child too. I could see it.

"I've lost a child but now I can have another." He murmured in my ear before lifting up my chin and kissed me passionately. I remember him telling me he lost his son to Leukemia several years ago when we first started dating. He told me when I caught a glimpse of the picture in his wallet. It was a small blonde boy that resembled Tallahassee one time. "Thank you." He kissed me again. I was fully aware of the doctor staring at us and my face turned crimson. But in a way, I didn't care. The only thing that mattered was that I was going to have a child with the man I love, Daniel. My Tally…

I laughed softly as he hugged me tightly.

A/N: This is just a little something I've written on the side for a friend of mine. I have tons of projects and deviantart Point Commissions to do. ^^;

Anyway, I hope every Talumbus fan loves my fanfiction. :D I'll continue it if it is what you guys wish.

Oh, and if you're a Talumbus fan and you already have a deviantart account, then go join the group I created on there! :3 It's called Talumbus-Unity and I'd be delighted if any and every Talumbus fans join it! :3 There really isn't that many members so that's why I'm plugging the group right now.

If you can't find it, go click the link to my deviantart page on my profile then click groups at the top of my page. You should be able to find it that way. :D

Review? ^^