"Okay, now I have a transfer student to introduce to you all. Come on in, Akemi-san!"
Homura strode into the classroom to whispered exclamations of "Whoa, she's hot!" and "I'd tap that!"
Madoka gasped in recognition. "No way, it can't be her!"
"Why don't you introduce yourself?" the teacher suggested. Homura raised her fist to her mouth and cleared her throat loudly, just as piano music began to play out of nowhere. She took a deep breath and began to sing in a very dry tone.
"My name is Homura Akemi, please spell my name correctly,
At this point I don't care if I'm crazy.
I am a time traveler here to save my friend,
And every time I fail I always go back again."
"Um…" Kazuko sweat-dropped behind the still singing transfer student. "Can we save the singing for later?" Homura raised her voice in response to sing over the annoying teacher.
"Shooting Kyubey and learning to be badass,
If you make my Madoka cry I'm going to bust a cap.
They didn't believe their future so they always bit the dust,
So if your hair ain't pink then I don't give a flying fu-!"
"Thank you for all that unnecessary information, Akemi-san!" the teacher jumped in to interrupt. "Please take a seat."
Madoka flinched when Homura's hawk-like gaze zeroed in on her.
"What's her deal?" Sayaka leaned over to ask her friend. The piano music continued playing in the background.
"I don't know what to think, this is very strange!
Last night I might have seen her while in a dream state!" Madoka answered in song.
Sayaka gasped. "There's no way!"
"It's the truth!"
"You're crazy!"
"How dare you!" The music halted and the two girls paused with it.
"So," Sayaka tilted her head in confusion. "Who is she?"
At the question, the entire class erupted to their feet and the piano started playing again more vigorously than before. They jumped onto their desks and started stomping to the lyrics that came bursting from their lungs.
"Hooooomuuuuura is a time traveler, she's here to save her friend!
And every time she fails she goes right back again!
Shooting aliens and learning to be badass,
If you make Madoka cry, she's going to beat your ass!
No one believed the future, they lost it bit by bit!
So if your hair ain't pink then she won't really give sh-!"
"HEY!" Kazuko yelled at the class angrily. "We're in the middle of class, so please save the singing and dancing for later!" she ordered.
However, just like all of her ex-lover's, the class ignored her. The students jumped down from their desks and began to swirl around Homura's desk in various patterns while talking amongst themselves.
"So mysterious!"
"What long hair!"
"She looks so serious!"
"What a glare!"
Homura abruptly stood up from her seat, making everyone around her pause dramatically. "I'm sorry, I don't feel very well. I'll have to go to the nurse's office." She twirled on her feet and started to slowly make her way towards Madoka. Of course, she had to stop periodically for dance breaks.
"I'm tired of these faces and I'm not that strange!
I almost came this close to throwing a grenade,
This job is fruitless, I'm working round the clock,
But if I succeed I can finally tap Madonkadonk!" When she sang that last line she thrust her hips forward with a double fist pump while winking at her audience. All the other students quickly mimicked the movement as they mindlessly repeated her words.
"Madonkadonk! Madonkadonk! If she fails, she can't tap Madonkadonk!
She's looking to the future pushing towards her goal,
Trying not to get distracted and learning self-control!"
Homura rapidly pulled a gun out of her shield and shot into the ceiling, making everyone stop singing and start screaming. "Who says I don't have self-control!" she yelled angrily at them.
The class stared at the pair of pink panties dangling innocently from the barrel of the gun in her hand. Her violet eyes followed their gaze and she realized what she was doing and calmly put the gun away as if nothing happened. She cleared her throat and smoothed her skirt before she sat on top of Madoka's desk.
The pink-haired girl was staring at her mouth agape, as was the rest of the class.
"Madoka Kaname, you're the health representative, correct?" she stated in her monotone voice.
Madoka flinched at being addressed by the strange transfer student. "Y-Yes, that's me." she replied nervously.
"Could you show me the way to the infirmary?" Homura asked in a way that wasn't really asking. She started walking away fully expecting Madoka to follow her. The pink-haired girl became flustered and moved to followed her out of the classroom.
"You're going after hearing all that?" Sayaka exclaimed in bafflement.
"Madonkadonk! Madonkadonk!" The class started bellowing when the pair was out of sight.
"Tomorrow she's going to reset time again!
She failed in this timeline so she might as well,
Get some in the infirmary where there are lots of beds!"
Outside the school hidden in a bush somewhere, Kyubey stuck his head out and muttered the words "It begins," ominously.
.P-M.M-M.
"Mami, the Grief Seed is moving! It's going to start right now, hurry!" Kyubey spoke urgently into Mami's mind.
"Okay, I got it. I'll finish you off with a swift attack today!" Mami responded, holding out her hand as the ring on her finger glowed, segueing into her magical girl transformation. Music started playing in the background as the witch's familiars droned out a working tune.
(Looking for some cheese~,
For our master Charlotte who is always so hungry~)
Mami landed among the familiars in full Puella Magi gear and a huge smile on her face. "Nothing can stop me now!" she exclaimed in a beautifully pleasant singing voice. The familiars were somewhat surprised by the intrusion.
(Hey that girl is yellow like cheese~,
Whoa, muskets are popping out of her breasties~)
Mami used aforementioned muskets popping out of her chest area and the ones that materialized in thin air around her to start shooting the singing familiars, who were hurling themselves at her for no explicable reason other than the fact that they thought they had located cheese.
"I'm so happy I can crap muskets!
I've hid them in strange places to fill the void,
Weightless now my joy has skyrocketed,
Never felt so free it's like I'm on steroids!"
Mami sang out her real feelings as she shot countless familiars out of existence and stood on high places in cool poses. The familiars were scattering now, convinced cheese wouldn't be able to shoot back and ready to report this to their mistress.
(Let's get out of here~,
This job sucks, lets drink some beer~)
The blonde puella magi landed gracefully near Madoka and took the girl's hand. With a friendly tug and smile they ran to where the witch would be.
"Sometimes I wonder if this is all life has to offer," Mami sang in a warm softer voice.
"But now I smile when I remember my new friends,"
"We're here for you now!" Madoka sang kindly in answer.
"I am not alone!" Mami proclaimed in exhilaration as they burst onto the scene.
Kyubey and Sayaka were ducking behind a giant doughnut.
"Sorry I'm late." Mami said as she and Madoka joined Sayaka behind the giant doughnut.
"You got here just in time." Sayaka reassured with a nervous grin.
"Watch out, the witch is manifesting!" Kyubey warned. The expressions on the girl's faces shifted to serious as they watched the small witch pop out of a cereal box and settle on a too-high chair for a too-high tea-party.
Mami immediately sprang into action yelling "As if I'm afraid of a too-cute Charlotte plushie!" She knocked Charlotte's chair over, making the tiny witch stumble clumsily off as if it really was merely a plushie.
"Sorry for ruining your great day,
But Madoka's gonna wish for a great big cake!"
Mami apologized as she swung a rifle like a bat and whacked Charlotte across her barrier. The pink witch hit the opposite wall, where she was immediately assaulted by several gunshots from Mami.
"Here I go!
Let's forgo,
All this own,
'Cause I'm aglow!"
Mami sang without a care in the world as Charlotte fluttered to the ground. When the witch landed face down, the Puella Magi was already standing by and calmly shot her in the head. Throwing her used flintlock away, she summoned her golden threads to lift the little witch into the air.
"Winning~." Mami commented to herself as Sayaka and Madoka cheered her on from the sidelines. The blonde had a musket in her hands, which morphed into a giant cannon aimed right at an entangled Charlotte.
With a very deep breath Mami sang her finishing move like a big finish to her song.
"Tiiiirrrooo Fiiiinnaaaalllleeee!"
The cannon shot Charlotte through the middle with a long ribbon that wrapped around her. As she was squeezed her mouth opened and out shot a huge caterpillar-like thing with big teeth that immediately swung down towards the blonde Puella Magi with a hungry look in its mad eyes.
Unfortunately, Mami was stilling holding that final note to notice the new witch's approach.
"eeee-"
CHOMP
Madoka gasped. Sayaka gasped. The music Mami had been singing to stumbled to a halt and all that was left was an awkward silence and the occasional crunch from Charlotte's teeth.
"Winning." Kyubey commented to himself.
.P-M.M-M.
Kyoko and Sayaka stood together before a massive pulpit inside the abandoned church. Stained glass surrounded them on all sides, creating an atmosphere of lost beauty and adding to the already thorny tension between the two girls.
"My wish destroyed my family." Kyoko was just finishing up her magical girl origin story. Sayaka shifted apprehensively at the grimness of Kyoko's tale. "I made a wish without considering the circumstances, and it resulted in misfortune for everyone."
Kyoko gripped the apple Sayaka had rejected tightly in her hand. "At that moment I swore I wouldn't use this power for the sake of another again. That I would use this power only for myself." Kyoko's hand went to her chest as she confided in the girl behind her.
Sayaka was staring at the ground uncertainly as she listened attentively to the other's words. "Why are you telling me this?" she asked in trepidation. Kyoko turned around to face the short-haired girl and exhaled through her nose.
"What I'm saying is," She hesitated, then stepped forward toward Sayaka, dropping the sack of apples in her grasp to the ground as her voice filled with conviction.
"I'm hoping that my words will reach you,
Through this invisible barrier,
The curse of a magic carrier,
Is not something you can just brush off!
Forgetting about your wish,
So you can get something out of this,
To watch you rot away is not something I am partial to!"
Kyoko started walking around Sayaka as she sang to a steady beat that was laid down.
"A wish is no idle matter,
In the eye of the beholder,
For every hope you dream for,
Be ready for the resulting shadow."
Sayaka halted the redhead's pacing with her hand and looked at her with frustration in her eyes. When she spoke, her words were clearer and at a slower pace than Kyoko's.
"I don't understand,
When we first met a battle to the death was right at hand,
What gives you the right now to stand here and make this strange demand?
You think I made an error wishing for the sake of someone else,
But there's no way I'll regret this wish!"
The red Puella Magi grit her teeth in aggravation, and turned away from the stubborn girl to mutter angrily to herself.
"I'm hoping that my words will reach you,
Through this invisible barrier,
The curse of a magic carrier,
Is not something you can just brush off!
Forgetting about your wish,
So you can get something out of this,
To watch you rot away is not something I am partial to!"
Kyoko sang the chorus to the church interior before she turned back to Sayaka, and the music was just the steady heartbeat of a bass drum.
"I guess you don't have a learning curve,
"I'm telling you to live how you deserve,
Please don't make my own same mistakes,
This business is a zero-sum end game!"
"For someone who lives for their own sake,
You sure went out of your way worrying.
This power has amazing potential,
We should use it for other people!" Sayaka responded quickly to Kyoko's logic. The redhead had finally lost patience, and gripped Sayaka's shoulders tightly.
"Listen to me~!" Kyoko pleaded.
"I refuse to deny my feelings, they weren't lies." Sayaka responded, growing angry herself, and gripping the arms that held her in place.
"We're Puella Magi~!"
"I don't believe I paid too dearly, I feel I have a duty."
"We're already zombies~!"
"I'll continue fighting, following my own path."
"We have no one else~."
"To reward us, to appreciate us, to love us,
I KNOW!"
The two girls gripped in each other's grasps engaged in a dance. Their dance was one of a power struggle, in which each would try to lead the other and met with resistance. Eventually they broke away and stared each other down.
The music raged on, fueling their steps as they challenged each other to a dance off. Kyoko danced with an urban style and Sayaka would respond with a more graceful rendition. However both of their dances ultimately became one and they became more in sync as the music tore through the church.
Their combined steps echoed through the hollow building and they finally ended it face to face. They stood still as they stared into each other's eyes and breathed heavily into each other's faces from the hard dancing.
Kyoko's hand hesitantly reached for Sayaka's face and hovered there. "This could work," she sang softly.
"How much did those apples cost?" Sayaka's face became serious as she waited for the answer. Kyoko's eyes widened and her mouth opened to speak, but nothing came out. Her hand fell to her side limply.
"You can't answer, can you?" Sayaka sighed, turning away the redhead. She began walking down the stairs to where they had come in. "If I get in your way, you're welcome to try and kill me again. But I won't lose to you, and I won't hold it against you." she stated as she left the building and didn't look back.
Kyoko watched Sayaka leave with angry disbelief.
"I was hoping that my words would reach you,
Through this invisible barrier,
The curse of a magic carrier,
Is not something you can just brush off.
Forgetting about your wish,
So you can get something out of this,
To watch you rot away is something I guess I'll have to do."
Kyoko recovered an apple from her bag of stolen food and furiously bit into it mercilessly as Sayaka's form gradually disappeared from her sight.
.P-M.M-M.
Madoka was wandering aimlessly through the city after Sayaka had run away from her. Her search brought her to the city park, drawn in by the mesmerizing light of a dancing fountain. She stopped near a bench, sensing a magical presence near her.
"You must blame me too, then?" Kyubey asked from the shadows of a light post.
"If I blame you, will that bring Sayaka back?" Madoka responded tiredly.
"Impossible, it's beyond my power." Kyubey said unblinkingly.
Madoka sat on a public bench, the white magical creature joining her to face the showy fountain with colorful displays of light.
"You told me I could become an amazing magical girl. Is that true?" Madoka asked hesitantly.
"Amazing doesn't begin to describe it. You'd be completely unrivaled, and possibly the strongest in the world." Acoustic instruments dipped in country flavor started playing in the background as Kyubey continued speaking, and the rodent's voice became increasingly deeper as he began to sing.
"Listen here girl, and listen well,
I've quit being Satan's teddy bear
Just to come down here and talk to your behind.
Now I've met many a fine young lass,
Two or a dozen or a few million,
Who willingly land in my paws ,
And eventually become hell spawns.
But listen close girl, here's the thing,
The universe is running on batteries,
You wouldn't happen to know about entropy?
But of course, this ain't bout me,
This show is all about you, Queen."
Kyubey paused to rub his tail against his face and scratch at an ear.
"But why me?" Madoka asked quietly, fists resting on her knees and her eyes closed to the attention-seeking fountain.
Kyubey sighed. "I don't know either. Frankly, your hidden potential is an unimaginable hope. I want an explanation as much as you do."
"As much as I don't really get it,
Sitting before me is omnipotent goddess,
And I have a feeling my quota will be filled.
You could do anything you want,
Perform miracles or rewrite laws,
The strongest Puella Magi there ever was.
I'm not even jumping the ball,
This is Kyubey's business after all,
Is there really any reason to stall?"
"So I can do things even you can't Kyubey?" Madoka asked, her focus entirely on the white creature now. "I can return Sayaka's body back the way it was?"
"That would be no difficult at all." Kyubey answered.
"Now I'm not even going to take a pause,
I have a feeling this girl is in my jaws,
The universe will live a little longer now,
Should I wait for some applause?" Kyubey thought to himself as he turned his beady eyes and blank expression to the girl on the verge of making a contract.
"Listen closely girl; lend me your ear,
I'm going to make this very clear,
No more beating around the bush,
Is this wish worth your soul to you?"
"If it's for Sayaka's sake, then yes." Madoka relented, turning her body towards Kyubey, who looked as eager as he could possibly get. "I want to become a magical-"
Fifteen holes appeared in Kyubey's body simultaneously, the size and shape of bullets. Kyubey's body fell over, clearly dead and blown to bits. Madoka's eyes widened in shock.
Homura was standing behind her and the murder weapon dropped from her hands. Madoka's head turned quickly at the sound of the gun clattering to the ground and frightened eyes took in Homura's magical girl form.
"Homura, what are you-"
"Only I'M allowed to sing to Madoka!" Homura proclaimed passionately, picking up the remains of Kyubey's body and flinging it into the nearest fountain in a rare fit of rage.
Madoka gaped at her like she was trying to catch flies. "Wait, when do I get to sing?" she asked in confusion.
She then screamed when a live Kyubey popped up next to her as if nothing happened. "You can own the songs 'Madonkadonk', 'Crapping Muskets', 'Watching You Rot', and 'Satan's Teddy Bear' today! Four songs on six collectible CDs!" Kyubey announced randomly.
Homura was on him in an instant, stabbing away with the knife that appeared in her hand. Some alien blood splashed onto Madoka and she started crying. Like always.
THE END