I need a Doctor

Prologue

I couldn't look at him.

Not really.

He sat in one of the expansive rooms in my family's home with a cup of tea in his hands, holding the saucer like he normally would, gripping the handle of the teacup like the real Doctor would but I knew that it wasn't him.

Not really.

The real Doctor had left me – purposefully this time – in this damn parallel dimension that wasn't my home with him. A fake. A double. A fake double I had kissed just because I heard the words I had been wanting to hear for so long in his voice... from a different mouth. I was so weak.

The Doctor looked up at me as mum and dad left the room, probably to give me and him some privacy. But as they closed the door behind them, all I wanted was to scream at them, beg them not to leave me alone with the man that stole the Doctor's face. I didn't care what he said. He wasn't my Doctor. I bit my lip as I turned away, staring at my reflection in the mirror above the mantelpiece. Blonde hair ragged from the amount of times I had dragged my hands through it, eyes ringed with swollen red and mascara stained my cheeks from the tears I had cried. I barely remembered the journey home from Norway so I wasn't sure exactly when I had cried and how long for, but I guessed it was because my mind was spinning so much I thought I was standing in the T.A.R.D.I.S once more.

I had found him and he had left me. With him. A cheap freaking double.

"Rose."

My heart leapt. He still had his voice. Unwillingly, I turned to face him and found that he had already placed his cup to the side and had stood up, one hand reached toward me. There was not a thing out of place. His warm brown eyes, the incredible hair, his nose, his lips, his teeth... his shoulders, his lean body, his legs, arms... those hands. Hairy manly hands. He was every inch the Doctor that I knew and loved. But I knew it wasn't him.

"Rose... I... I'm–" He began.

"Don't you dare say you're sorry." I snapped, feeling my eyes burn again. My head felt full – full to exploding – so I wondered if I even had any tears left to cry. Judging my the headache I should have cried myself dry by now, but my broken heart said otherwise. But I couldn't bare to hear those words from him... from either of them. Because I knew that was what the real Doctor would say and he would mean it. He would tell me know sorry he was that he had to leave, and that there was no choice and once again I would have a chance at a normal human life. No Time Lords, no Daleks, Cybermen, Gelth, devils, Krillitane, Slitheen... No more T.A.R.D.I.S and no more Doctor, not the real one.

"But I am."

"I don't care, alright?" I turned on him then, fresh tears burning from my eyes and tracing cold fire down my blazing cheeks. "I don't care if you're sorry because... Because you're not him! You're a fake, a phoney... You're not the real... but... it doesn't matter because he... he's gone. He's..." My tears consumed me, and I fell to my knees, the dizzying pain finally rearing its ugly head to break my will completely.

He was there before I had even hit the ground.

Oh god, he even smelled the same. I clung to him as he lowered me down to the rug and wrapped his strong familiar arms around me and allowed me to sob into his chest, his scent washing over me as I listened to his one singular heart beat. He didn't speak. He just held me as my sobs subsided and I just sat on that white rug near the empty fire grate with him kneeling beside me, breathing strong and steadily despite what I had just screamed at him. He knew what I was like though – he had all the real doctor's memories. All his memories, his voice, his looks and even his smell – so he probably understood why.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled after a moment.

He chuckled. "So you can say it, but I can't? That's hardly fair, Rose Tyler."

I clung tighter and clamped my eyes shut. "I just know he would mean it. If you said sorry, he'd mean it too and it just... it's confusing me... and it hurts."

He gripped onto me a little tighter and pressed his lips against my hair. "I have travelled further than you could imagine in that human head of yours, seen millions and billions and trillions of people of different races, genders, sizes, shapes, colours and believe it or not people with the genetic make-up similar to that of a rock. I've seen so much, Rose Tyler." He slowly leant away from me and raised his hands to my face, gently cupping it and lifting it up so he could see my tear-stained face. "But I've never met anyone who could make me think as irrationally as you do. You could make the most beautiful nebula look insignificant when I simply stand beside you. You could make me want to take you to fantastic places just to see your face glow."

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't do anything. It was so easy to forget where we were and imagine we were in the T.A.R.D.I.S and this was the real Doctor and he was saying these things. And then I remembered. This man, this double, was spawned from the Doctor. He shared everything with him. He was him. The only difference was his human side. The only difference.

"Rose. If my being here is far too much for you, then I would give you time. We have time, Rose. You and me. It's not like before. You can spend the rest of your life with me... and I can spend the rest of my life with you." He tucked my hair behind my ears and stroked his thumb down the side of my cheek. "I love you."

My face crumbled and I launched myself back into his embrace, clinging onto him tight as I wept again. "I love you too, Doctor. I love you."

Just a quick prologue. If you want me to continue, please review :)